Title: God Made You Perfect

Rating: M (for later chapters)

Pairing: Edward/Jasper

Genre: Romance, Friendship

Summary: Edward moves to a small town in Texas and changes Jasper's world. How will Jasper deal with being Christian and gay? How will Edward convince him that God loves him anyway?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here; I even made up the town they live in. I just need to get writing again and thought this would be a great place to start. I don't have a beta so every mistake is mine and mine alone.

A/N: Last year for Lent I gave up p0rn. This year, I've decided to go gluten free and write every day. Oftentimes I think that Christians (and some other religions) get a bad rep among the GLBTQ community. People think that all Christians hate gay people when that is entirely untrue. This story will be mostly fluffy and lighthearted but will deal with Jasper struggling with combining his sexuality and his Faith. It will not purposely bash Christians but it may be hard for some people to handle the snide comments Jasper makes to himself at the beginning. I'll do my best to make it understandable for people that aren't Christian. If you have any questions while reading please send me a PM and I'd be happy to explain why I said something or how things commonly happen in Anglican churches.

I'll be updating this every day (unless something happens with my Internet) but I don't know how long each chapter will be because I haven't finished the story (or even mapped it out in my head yet). I do know that it will be finished on Easter day. Please leave me some love at the bottom. Thanks for reading.

Chapter 1:
Ash Wednesday (Part One)
JPOV

The pew in the back of the church is cold when I slip into the service 10 minutes late. My hair is still wet and I'm stuck in jeans and a hoodie because I didn't have time to go home after basketball practice. Normally I try to dress up (or at least wear a button down) for big events at church but I know my mother would rather I show up dressed in jeans than not show up at all.

At the front of the chapel the preacher is just finishing up his welcome message. I've been going to church for as long as I can remember. I was baptized here when I was a baby and someday I'll be expected to marry in this church; it's just how things are done in this town. I live with my mamma and pa in the small town of Amoroso Texas; a little Podunk place just south of nowhere.

As the service goes on my mind admittedly starts to wander. I'm not proud to admit that, but hell, I've had a long day and it's hard to stay focused. I think about how practice went earlier today and what I need to work on before our next meet. Then I think about my schoolwork that needs to get done before class tomorrow and dread heading home to complete it; junior year really is a bitch. Then I think about how I shouldn't even be thinking words like 'bitch' inside the church. I wince because I just repeated it again in my head. Now it's like I can't stop thinking about words I shouldn't say/think in church: shit, damn, fuck, sex…the list goes on and on.

I'm pulled out of my own head when the people in front of me stand for the reading of the psalm. The preacher invites us to speak along, Taking out the prayer book in front of me I turn to the proper page, stand up and start to recite psalm 38 with those around me, "Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath…My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear…I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin…Lord, do not forsake me; do not be far from me, my God." *

My body is shaking slightly as I put the book back in its place and sit down. My mind is troubled and I feel like I'm trapped. In an effort to stop thinking I listen as hard as I can to Pastor Peter. He's speaking to us about what Lent means in today's world – how it's changed over time. "…not just about starving ourselves anymore. Lent is a time to think about our sins and the direction our life is headed. It's a time to reorganize ourselves so that we can be the best people we can be. It's a time to make conscious decisions to live morally and take the path of righteousness. Ask God for his mercy and let him into your heart. Let him purge you of sin and become proud of who you are…"

Maybe listening to Pastor Peter had been a mistake; instead of resting my mind and calming down, I was shaking harder than ever. I wanted to make God proud. I wanted to be the man that everyone thought I was - good, wholesome, perfect. But I have sinned. I've had immoral thoughts about other men. I've touched myself thinking of these men and for that I know I need to repent and ask for God's forgiveness. Bowing my head I pray, " God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Repeating the Serenity Prayer a few times in my head helps and I finally start to calm down. All my life I've been taught that God is there for me and he can heal me, I only have to ask for his help. Smiling a little I know that I can rid myself of sin and be a better man. Lent is the perfect time to start and with God's help I can do it.

Now it's time to go to the front and have the cross put on my forehead in ashes. There are two lines and I stand up to join the one on the right. In front of me is a familiar nest of unruly copper hair. My confidence fades and I find myself thinking that purging myself of sin may be impossible. Edward Mason will be the death of me.

To be continued tomorrow…

A/N:

* Passages from Psalm 38 were taken from the NIV version of the Bible.

What do you think so far? This is the first half of Ash Wednesday. You'll get more information about Edward in the next chapter. This will be a slash story- it's just going to Jasper a little time to come to terms with himself.

Question: Any fellow Christians out there that enjoy slash/belong in the GLBTQ community?

-Laura