Author's Note: Because people didn't seem to want my list of Sasuke talents to disappear. Therefore, the birth of this relatively pointless collection of "omake" (as 10tative called it) was born. Here is where you'll find pretty pointless author's notes from my Stuffy Noses Chapters.
For the sake of curiosity (and because 10tative wanted me to give a list of all of Sasuke's 578 talents and non-talents.)
…well, I can't really post all 578 talents, seeing as I couldn't make Sasuke-kun hold still and tell me all of them.
That said, I want to say three things I haven't stated flat out in the fic:
1) According to Uchiha Sasuke, he has precisely 578 talents and a whooping 12 non-talents. Who knew the Uchiha genius wasn't perfect? –scoffs–
2) Hyuuga Hinata has exactly 630 talents. 214 of them involve medicine, 5 involve the Byakugan, 306 involve the delicate art of blushing, 44 involve plants, 20 involve tea, 37 involve personality traits, and the remaining 4 involve geniuses.
3) Uchiha Sasuke has a secret obsession for list-making.
That said, let's move on to the list!
10 of Uchiha Sasuke's 578 Talents (in Numerical Order)
#05: Cutting his own hair in the unique and somewhat disturbing shape of a duck's bottom. While refusing to comment when said talent was brought up, Uchiha Sasuke has had this talent from early childhood and enjoys cutting his hair in the same shape even today.
(Chances of him keeping this same strange hairstyle even when he grows up to be a troubled teen: 89.39 percent.)
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#38: Ability to keep a deadpan face no matter what. Currently Uchiha Sasuke's preferred talent and the talent that is used most often. Is closely tied to Talent #42: Having the emotional display of a rock.
(Usage Rate: 92.54 percent. The rest of the time, Talent #49: Making somewhat angsty life-defining speeches is in use.)
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#53: Social Discretion. Uchiha Sasuke is very, very in tune with his emotional side and will cater to others' vulnerabilities and desires. Just as long as he feels like it.
(Probability Rate of Using Talent: 0.0000108 percent)
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#81: Easily (or maybe not so easily) taking down a mediocre ninja. While an important talent for survival in the ninja world and the cause for many of Konoha girls' dreamy sighs, Sasuke's fighting skills are not important. His stubborn arrogance and blind pride, not to mention difficult-to-understand genius temperament are.
(Relevance to the Story: 11.32 percent)
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#268: Beating Naruto at anything in the whole wide world, so there! Declared as a talent as a nine year old, Uchiha Sasuke has since then matured. Talent #268 has been renamed since then to "beating the dobe at anything that could ever possibly matter, so hmph."
(Probability to this talent applying to Hyuuga's affections: presently, -99.98 percent. In the long run???)
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#302: Detecting emotion in people's voices. Easier to perform with the some of the Rookie Nine than with others. Example: Naruto yelling at the top of his lungs and adding a bunch of 'dattebayo's.' Obviously inspirational. Sakura saying anything to Sasuke. Lovey dovey. Shikamaru muttering five syllables right after each other. No matter what, annoyance. Shino? …the great genius that is Uchiha Sasuke is still trying to figure that out.
(Success Rate: With the average ninja, 98.76 percent. With the Aburame clan, 03.001 percent)
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#573: Making Hyuuga Hinata blush. Discovered in Chapter 1, this talent is shared by practically everyone else in Konoha. Not that, of course, Sasuke will admit that. Currently ranks in the top 10 as one of Sasuke's favorite talents.
(Probability that Sasuke will ever become as gifted as Naruto at this talent: none)
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#578: Making Hinata give an honest-to-goodness smile. Recently developed, the talent has yet to see much use. As the evil, prophetic author that I am, however, I predict that Uchiha Sasuke will attempt to use this talent the most from here on out.
(Success Rate???)
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And, of course, finally:
The Lost Talent, #577.
#577: Overcoming a non-talent. Yup, Uchiha Sasuke has few non-talents, but he'll never go against them. However, he struggled against non-talent #03 in order to be a better listener to Hinata. Yay for Sasuke-kun. Hinata really is a good influence on him. :D
(Probability of Occurring Near Hinata: 48.32 percent)
A bit of background on this: this excuse of a chapter was written because 10tative noticed that between New Talents #576 and #578 in the story, #577 was never listed. And I'll admit that the reason why, is…because I can't count. I forgot to add a #577, so I chose to add it here. Sorry 'bout that.