Random Drabbles of an Asian Girl
A/N: - barges through random door - LA LI HO!
Ed: Wrong story.
O.O ...It IS? - looks around - ...oh...hehe...in that case...
- barges through random door AGAIN - OHAYO FELLOW READERS!!!!!! - waves - It's Chi-Chan, back with an all new story! XD Actually, this was supposed to be posted after I posted at least one chapter of my upcoming story...- sweat drop -...but, it was just sitting in my notebook for so long after an attempt to right a better story than my friend, and...it just looked so lonely...therefore, I apologize if there is any confusion, but to prevent that, here's a character key that I will use in this story and my next story. XD
Lori: A 15 year old girl who is considered one of the best auto-mail mechanics in the world. She is also a dog in the military and is the 2nd youngest state alchemist.
Naomi: Lori's best friend. She is an aspiring young magician and specializes in medicine and potion brewing.
Yes, I know. Short, but ( somewhat ) helpful for this story. Well, enough chit-chat, LET US BEGIN!!!!!!!! - death music plays from random piano -
Disclaimer: I do not Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, bad things would happen. - grins evilly - VERY bad things...- maniacal laughter -
Random Drabbles of an Asian Girl
Written by: Chi-Chan ( aka: Random Panic )
Chapter 1: Mr. Cuddle Wuddle's Pre-school
A drunk Lori pushed Ed onto a bed and jumped onto him. "W...wh...what the hell are you doing?" Ed asked in a nervous tone, a blend of horror and panic creeping onto his face.
"Mmm...Edo-kun looks so handsome..." she said, grinning at him while creeping over him little by little.
"ED!!! ED!!!" Winry yelled, crashing through the fake wall of the set.
"DAMMIT WINRY!!! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO HAVE A HOT, SEXY, LOVE TRIAL WITH LORI!!!" he screamed in Winry's face as he got up from the mattress.
"But it's important..." she replied, switching to chibi mode with puppy dog eyes the size of saucers. He sighed.
"Don't tell me that Al got his lucky stripper thong stuck in the toilet again."
"Nope!" Winry responded happily.
"Fine then, whaddaya want?" He sighed again.
"I FINALLY LEARNED MY AGD'S (1)!!!!!" She bellowed triumphantly, her head enlarging and eyes getting a serious case of Major Armstrong's "sparklies". "Listen!" A, G, D, b, E, J, F, K, P, S, Q, C, L, Y, X, W, T, N, M, H, O, I, R, U, Z, V, 24!!!!" she sang overjoyed in such a horrible voice it could scare Scar out of his heart printed undies.
"DAMMIT WINRY!!! YOUR MAKING US DEAF WITH THAT DUMB ASS SINGING OF YOURS!!!" yelled Lori, shielding her ears from the horrid noise escaping from the mechanic whore's mouth.
"WHAT THE HELL'S GONG ON? IT SOUNDS LIKE A DYING WALRUS!!!" cried Naomi, walking towards the set complaining about the ruckus.
"WINRY'S PRACTICING THE ALPHABET!!!" Ed hollered back.
"OMG! IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!!! WINRY AHNOLD ROCKBELL!!! YOUR SINGING IT ALL WRONG!!! Pinako screeched, stepping into the room. Winry halted her serenade of the alphabet. "Do you WANT to stay in Mr. Cuddle Wuddle's Pre-school forever?" the granny crossed her arms.
"But I like Mr. Cuddle Wuddles! Winry said. "He's warm, fuzzy, and reeks of alcoholic beverages!" She smiled as she hugged herself. "I luv Mr. Cuddle Wuddles and Mr. Cuddle Wuddles luvs me!!!" Everyone stared.
"WILLY WONKA MOLESTED CHARLIE'S CHOCOLATE!!!" Envy shrieked, crashing through the left wall. Apparently, Envy shattered the wall so hard that it caused the wall next to it to come tumbling down, revealing a nude Al struggling to pull what appeared to be a red thong out of the toilet. The room fell silent, where the only noise to be heard was the sound of running toilet water. Suddenly, Roy and Major Armstrong blasted through the last remaining wall. The catch? THEY WERE WEARING SPANDEX!!!
"OH YEAH!!! I'M TOTALLY BRINGIN' SMEXY BACK!!! Roy bawled, turning around smiling, revealing an ass outline from the bottom of his attire. They all watched in fear, except for Envy, who was too busy humping a cantaloupe while humming a song about leprechauns, unicorns, and horse radish. "I look sexy, no? Like a smexy ( insert any random place in the world you desire ) super model?!" Roy mused as he strutted his stuff in front of the gawking group of people.
"Well, this is something we don't see everyday..." Lori stated as a sweatdrop appeared on the backs of their heads.
"Not for me!" Major Armstrong cried. "Wearing spandex has been a pride passed down in the Armstrong family for generations!" the major said, sparkling as if wearing spandex was some sort of heroic justice. Everyone stared...well, except for Envy, who again was still losing his virginity ( or whats left of it from the previous produce items he's fucked with in the past ) to the poor cantaloupe.
"Oh...shit..." Naomi said before losing conciousness.
to be continued...
(1) yep, that's right, AGD's. It's a little parody I made up from the alphabet.
(2) a strange name that I got from a video my friend sent me.
A/N: Yeah, I know. The grammar and punctuation might be off a little bit, but I checked it and made a few changes already. This was derived from my notebook, where if it's in there, I don't really care if it's good or not, but I left it ( mostly ) unchanged from the original writing piece. Well, please review!!! Flames accepted!!!