Hey all been wanting to write a Harry/ Hermione fict or ages now and finally had a good idea! Hope you like please review!

No Longer Yours

Chapter 1

The Reflection Book

"I stood there by his side never doubting him for a second. He was my hero, my everything. He would never know how much I loved him. That day I grasped his hand and he looked at me lovingly, the way a best friend should, never expecting anything more. I feel guilty and it's killing me. I expected more, I wanted more. He was the bigger person and realised that it could never be. He realised that our one moment together had to be our only moment. Still I hoped for more. I'm supposed to be in love with his best friend. Loving, sweet, tender Ron whom I do not love. I thought I was in love but really I'm only settling because the boy, no the man I really wanted is dead but even if he were alive he would never go for frumpy bookworm Hermione Granger."

Hermione sat up from her newly made bed and closed her diary or rather her 'reflection book' as she called it tears rolling down her cheeks again. She had written that diary entry exactly one week after his death and it was the first human thing she did after they had lost him. For a week she had stayed in bed barely eating or sleeping after he died not even Ron could comfort her, in fact he made it worse. After a week she had felt strong enough to write this secret confession of love which no one would ever see, in her most secret of places.

She always read it this time of year. She couldn't believe that in two days Harry Potter would have been dead three years. Her Harry, her best friend had been gone from the world almost three whole years and she still expected him to come bounding in the door any second. Of course she had convinced herself that the feelings wrote in that entry were the result of extreme grief and she of course loved Ronald Weasley with all her heart. She convinced herself that she had felt only undying platonic love for Harry Potter and nothing more. She convinced herself that she only wished he was alive every second of the day because he was her Harry, her dearest friend who didn't deserve to die because of some stupid prophecy and not because she felt that the moment Harry Potter died her heart shattered into a thousand irreparable pieces. Of course not. Tucking her reflection book back into her pillowcase she began to remember all that had happened over the three years.

"This is it Hermione, I can feel it." He said his bottle green eyes gleaming in the candlelight. They were in the Room of Requirement preparing for the upcoming battle, everyone else had gone to bed but as usual but Harry and Hermione were always first to arrive for training and the last to leave. The past year had been hard on everyone but particularly the Golden Trio. As well as destroying the remaining Horocruxes they had to protect Hogwarts from Voldemort's advancing armies and now the final battle was approaching but no one knew. No one except Harry.

"What do you mean Harry? That's barely half of Voldemort's army out there, we just need to do what we always do, beat them back." Hermione replied smiling.

"No. We've destroyed all the Horocruxes and now Voldemorts only option is to get to me before we get to him." Harry looked deep in thought

"Are you sure? Is there anything we should be doing? You're usually right about these things so…" Harry laughed and cut her off

"Even now you can't stop thinking. I've just told you that this could possibly be my last night on earth and all you can think about is how to study more! You really are amazing Hermione Granger."

"Oh Harry this can't be it can it?" she pleaded with him with her eyes but he couldn't give her the answer she longed to hear. That this wouldn't be the last night she would ever spend with her secret love.

"It is isn't it…Well then since this could be you last night on earth, is there anything else you would rather be doing than being stuffed up in the Room of Requirement? Anywhere you'd rather be?" she laughed in a strange sad way. All of a sudden he took her hands.

"I'm with my best friend in a magical castle. There is no one I'd rather be with and nowhere else I'd rather be." He gently pushed a strand of curly hair back behind her ears.

Hermione blushed, trying not to look into those hypnotic eyes. Then she remembered Ron, her boyfriend who not love but she did feet extremely strong for and pulled her hands away and began to gather up her books.

"Oh don't be silly, you should spend tonight with Ginny. Go out of this world with a bang eh?" she giggled nervously but Harry wasn't letting her go that easily. He took her hands again and stood extremely close.

"I'm not being silly Hermione. You're the only one who I want to spend tonight with. I…" he trailed off but Hermione was desperate to know more.

"You…you what?" she asked

"I think I love you" he whispered pulling her close to him his green eyes locked in her warm chocolate brown orbs and vice versa. Hermione couldn't breathe she never knew how much she loved him till that moment. Leaning forward he placed the softest most innocent kiss on her lips and stroked her cheek. He broke away for a moment but then couldn't resist her, she intoxicated him in a way that no one else ever could. He kissed her again and this time she kissed back. The kisses became more passionate as the seconds passed, their lips parting allowing them to explore each others mouths. It was a kiss like none of them had ever received, it was deep, it was warm and it was pure love but it was to be short lived as they both remembered their place which was at another person's side.

"but…I also love Ron." He said close to tears "He's my best friend and no matter how much I wanted you for myself I could never do it to him Hermione. It would kill him."

"I love him too but…" she was crying too now

"There can be no buts. I just had to tell you, just in case I don't make it tomorrow" He said turning away from her.

"No. No Harry don't say that please! We'll get through this, you'll be fine! You have to be because…because….if you're not I'll die. I'll just DIE! Do you hear me? I will" she said collapsing into his arms.

"Shhh shhh. You won't, you're strong, the strongest person I know but you're right it will all work out. You're always right. Okay?" he said standing her back up wiping away her tears. She nodded slightly unconvincingly.

"I'm sorry about this" he said "I shouldn't have said those things, I shouldn't have kissed you. It wasn't fair. Now we'll go back to the dorm and get some rest for tomorrow and forget all this. You'll go back to Ron and I'll go back to Ginny and we'll sleep and go out there tomorrow and win. Alright?" he said tenderly. Se nodded again unable to speak. They gathered up their books and walked back to the Gryffindor Dorms in silence. They arrived at the two staircases unwilling to leave each other.

"Harry" Hermione said weakly "Do you really think we will win tomorrow?"

He beamed back at her "You know Herm I think we will. Goodnight Hermione"

"Goodnight Harry" she replied as he climbed up the staircase and left her

"I love you" she whispered

The morning dragged in wet and long as they all gathered in the Great Hall. All of the Order were there and most of the Hogwarts students from fifth year and above. They were ready to fight, ready to die. Harry stood in the middle of the Golden Trio next to the teachers and examined the troops. He hugged Ron and put a hand tenderly on Hermione's cheek and looked at her lovingly. She grasped his hand. It was the look in his eyes that made her stop. He looked at her the way a lover should but hid it well. So well that Hermione was able to convince herself that it was the look of friendship and that everything that happened the night before was erased. It was killing her. She so desperately wanted him to kiss her again but she knew it would never, could never happen.

"How could have I been so stupid" Hermione thought "Of course he doesn't love me that way, last night was a mistake. No not a mistake just a lapse in judgement. That's it."

She kept thinking this, forcing herself into denial. She loved Ron, she was just afraid of losing Harry that's why she kissed him back, he would never be interested in her that way, she did not love Harry Potter.

And so they had marched off to battle against Voldemort. It was a battle to end all battles- full of bloodshed and mayhem. The Golden Trio made their way through the fight to Voldemorts inner circle that one by one fell and they finally made it to the Dark Lord himself.

Ron was first to be incapacitated by the Dark Lord by a nasty spell which made him writhe in pain as horrid boils broke out all over his body.

"Ron!" Harry screamed but couldn't afford to stop as Voldemort sent spell after spell from his malicious wand.

"Hermione you have to get out of here!" Yelled Harry over the screaming as the Dark Lord began to advance

"No I won't leave you." She said standing her ground. Harry nodded it was useless to argue because everyone knew when Hermione Granger had made up her mind there was no changing it. Voldemort was only ten yards away now smiling an inhuman smile. With one swift motion he performed the Crucio curse on Hermione making her fall sprawling to the ground and next turned his attention on Harry. Lying writhing on the ground Hermione could see it all but didn't know what was more painful the Crucio or watching Harry battle for his life. For a while Voldemort seemed to play with Harry, he threw him from side to side with his wand like a rag doll occasionally throwing in a Crucio curse or two as Hermione watched in horror, unable to move.

"I think I've had enough fun my dear Mr Potter but now alas our time has come to an end." Voldemort sneered "Goodbye Harry, send my regards to your parents."

The Dark Lord raised his wand high above Harry who was lying on the ground seemingly in pain but as his arm rose Harry drew a dagger from his waistband. Voldemort reacted quickly but not quickly enough by the time he realised what was happening the dagger was deeply imbedded in his ribcage.

"NO!" Voldemort cried collapsing to the ground dragging Harry and the dagger with him "I will not be defeated by some boy!" he choked out

There was a bright blue light emanating from the Dark Lords wound now as the pent up evil magic he had gathered escaped into the world once more. The light became brighter and brighter and engulfed the battlefield, everyone froze as the ground began to shake. Then as suddenly as the light had come it was gone and so were Tom Riddle and Harry Potter.

Since no body was found they carried an empty coffin for the boy who lived. It was a small ceremony as Harry had specified, only family and friends were allowed. They did it almost 3 months after the battle when they could not foresee any way to bring him back, even though Hermione did not stop looking, and when most people had recovered from their wounds. Ron was still in a wheelchair but the boils seemed to have finally stopped forming on his body. Ginny was nearly catatonic and had been since she learned of Harry's death but the moment they put the empty casket in the ground she had began to wail uncontrollably. Hermione envied her. She could grieve for Harry as a lover, she could be as shattered as she wanted but Hermione had to compose herself. She couldn't fall to the floor in floods of tears, she couldn't grasp the casket and scream that it wasn't fair, she couldn't wear one of his shirts to bed and she had no love letters to read over and over again keeping the memory of him in her mind always. All she had was that one kiss and 7 years of memories of pining after him. However she had to appear to go on no matter how much of a lie it was. In her eyes the world had stopped turning the day he left her. She was never truly happy and didn't think she ever would be. A year after Harry's death Ron had proposed and she had accepted and they were now living together. Hermione had become and Auror and Ron had taken over from his father at the Ministry which was now a widely respected position as the department had expanded. It seemed like her life was going perfectly, seemed like.

Now it was three years after Harry's death and nothing much had changed. It was only 3 months to the wedding and Hermione's secret hell wasn't looking as if it would ever improve. She stopped thinking of Harry just as Ron entered the room of their homely 3 bedroom apartment, smiling lovingly.

"Hey hun" he said kissing her on the cheek "What you doing in here?"

"Oh nothing just fixing the bed." She replied struggling to smile

"Okay. Oh before I forget I have some good news!" he said

"Really what?"

"Well you know how Jerry Hecklefield in the Magical Creatures rights section is Head of…" but that's all she heard, she had zoned out thinking of him again. She loved Ron she really did but there was no spark and Hermione doubted there ever would be. Then all of a sudden it happened. She saw him just behind Ron standing at the doorway. He looked exactly the same apart from the mud on his clothes and the wild look in his eyes.

"Hermione, Hermione! Are you even listening to me?" said Ron but she was already up and moving towards those hypnotic green eyes. However in an instant they had disappeared, Harry was no longer standing at her doorway.

"Herm? Are you okay? You look as if you just saw a ghost." Ron exclaimed putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I…I…I s-saw him" she stuttered unable to believe it.

"Saw who?" asked Ron

"Harry, he was here!" she said turning to face him her eyes full of tears

"What?"

"I did, he was standing in the doorway!" she was shaking now

"Hermione that's impossible!" said Ron trying to convince her.

"No, I did, I did!"

"You must have just imagined it"

"But I couldn't have…he was right there…" she whispered. Ron took her in his arms and stroked her head trying as best to comfort her, his Hermione, who he loved.

"It's just this time of year. It'll pass, you'll see, it's hard on all of us….remembering his death."

"You're right Ron, of course I'm being silly." She sighed

"Not at all now just come into the kitchen and I'll make you some dinner. That sound good?" Ron asked and Hermione nodded. "Good come on."

She followed him out of the room into their spacious kitchen from which you could see each room in the apartment. She then sat down with a hot cup of coffee, deep in thought and not once removing her eyes from the doorway in which see had seen him.

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