Kiss

Things are just words, Dean had decided, things are just words until you find something that the word perfectly describes. For instance, there was the word delicious, which Dean did not fully respect until he tried a slice of pie. There were other words like hilarious, stupid, and annoying that, again, Dean just used until he found that one thing that made him go: "That's what the word means." Words like random and awful were used so lightly, sometimes jokingly before he actually said "wow, this show is really awful."

Then there were words like perfect, beautiful, and sweet, and though he would deny it over and over, there was only one person that really made those words click.

But they were friends. He and Cas had been best friends for—how many years? Four?—and that's all they were ever going to be. There's no possible relationship going on there, and there isn't anything trivial about it at all. Dean liked girls, Cas (though he had never been on a date as far as Dean knows) liked girls, too. They were normal teenagers, normal best friends.

"Dean?" he heard Cas ask and draw him out of his thoughts.

His eyes flickered up to his friend and he raised an eyebrow. They didn't need anything else. The two of them did this often: communicating through means other than words. It was enthralling, another word that Dean never fully respected until he and Cas started doing this.

"Are you all right? You have been zoning out often."

"'M fine," Dean mumbled over a fry as they ate lunch.

It was Castiel's turn to throw a skeptical face towards Dean but let it go. Dean stuffed his face with a few more fries to distract himself from something he wasn't quite sure what. Some unknown force made him want to give Cas a fry, poke his lips with it until he opened his mouth and ate it. That was normal for friends though. That was playful.

Castiel was looking at him strangely again, but Dean was too preoccupied with his thoughts to notice. It was almost worrisome how much Dean got caught up in his mind while staring at him, but Castiel forced himself not to make anything of it. Dean once told him he himself had a tendency to stare, and Castiel suddenly felt that may hold back on doing so in the future if it felt as heavy as this felt.

It wasn't as if Castiel disliked Dean's staring, but it was discomforting. He found himself too curious about what Dean was thinking about, if there was a reason Dean's eyes drifted over his face when he zoned out or if it was just coincidence. Castiel admits: he had had a crush on Dean for the past two years, but it was obvious by the girlfriends he went through like chewing gum that he didn't feel the same. Castiel was content with their friendship, or at least he convinced himself of that.

"What are you thinking about?"

Dean shook his head, "huh?"

More soundless communication took place before Dean said, "I dunno, stuff."
Castiel chewed on his straw absentmindedly or maybe nervously. "You can talk to me about that stuff, you know. I am your friend for a reason, not just to sit here and look pretty."

Dean snorted, "I don't know, you're doin' pretty good," he teased.

Cas blinked and the most adorable blush spread over his cheeks. Dean fought the smile that broke the barriers of his look-cool-face. Nonetheless, Dean considered what Cas said, and it would be easier to talk about it, he supposed.

"So we're friends right?" he started.

"Yes," Cas said warily.

"Friends can hug."

"I suppose they can."

A grin broke out on Dean's face and he surged forward and wrapped his arms around Cas. His body felt so perfect like it fit into him like a missing puzzle piece. His chin rested on Cas' shoulder and he swayed slightly on his feet. It felt so safe, and the warmth that he felt through Cas' shirt was like nothing else. He never wanted to let go. In a friendly way, of course.

Castiel felt heat rising to his face again, torn between telling Dean that friends don't hug this long, that their hands normally stay firmly in the shoulder area rather than venture to their back and waist, and just letting his mind go away from him. He felt guilty, almost like he was taking advantage of Dean's "ignorance" or what was probably denial, but every time he almost acted on it he couldn't bring himself to do it. He hated himself for being so selfish. He could feel Dean's breath tickle his neck.

Dean felt a wave of happiness wash over him as he let go, only but a few centimeters between his and Cas' noses and his breath smelled really nice. He took a step back before he got any other urges, unsure if he was imagining the disappointed look that flashed over Cas' face.

But, yes, they did part ways, Castiel walking to his next class, feeling Dean's gaze on him as he did so, and Dean turning to walk when Castiel had disappeared around the corner. Dean stuffed his hands into his pockets and smiled to himself. His heart jumped in elation inside his chest and he willed himself not to get excited for an absent reason. There was no reason he should feel so happy, really, but Dean didn't complain too much. Better than being sad, right?

He met up with Castiel again after school.

"Hello, Dean."

"Heya, Cas."

Castiel's eyes moved to Dean's left where a girl was hanging onto him with a weird smile and face full of makeup. He pushed the jealousy down and continued to walk with Dean to his car. Dean drove both of them to and from school to save gas, and Castiel agreed because Dean's car smelled like him.

Castiel looked away as the girl giggled and Dean pulled her closer to peck her lips.

"See ya later, babe," he said with a sloppy smile that made Castiel hate himself for loving it.

The girl giggled again and gave her hand a floppy twist of a wave and turned around, practically skipping to her car. Castiel huffed, arms crossed over his chest as he tried to hide his heart. He opened the door a bit too loudly and closed it louder. He wasn't doing a good job of hiding it, evidently.

"What?" Dean asked. Castiel had to admit, he should have seen that coming.

"Nothing."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Come on, everyone knows when you say 'nothing' it means 'something.'"

Castiel replied with silence, but silence means unspoken-conversations.

"What's wrong with Lisa?" Dean concluded.

Castiel scoffed, "She's so—!"

"Sooo?"

"So—!"

Dean started laughing. Castiel turned to glare at him despite the heat rising to his face. Dean just thought it made the attempted-glare look too cute to be intimidating. He pressed his lips together in attempt to remedy his apparently offensive laughter, but the amusement glinting in his eyes betrayed him.

"Just drive!" Castiel threw his hands up embarrassedly and practically shoved his face into the window.

Dean gave another bark of laughter before he quieted down. He turned the radio up a notch to calm the nerves and relaxed in his seat. He found himself glancing at Cas beside him every so often. His tie was inside out.

Through some unspoken agreement they both arrived at Dean's house and headed up to his room. They passed Sam on the way, Castiel giving him a respectful nod of acknowledgement and Dean just zooming past him. Dean plopped onto the bed as if he had just stood for five days straight, Castiel closed the door behind them and stood near the doorframe.

"Dude, you come here so often it's like a second home. You're allowed to sit down," Dean said, sounding like he was fighting the urge to laugh.

Castiel was unsure why Dean felt compelled to laugh around him so often, debating between being offended or being embarrassed. Nonetheless he sat down on the edge of the bed, watching Dean kick his shoes off. He took this as a signal to take his own shoes off, unlacing each one. If he were to look over at Dean he would see his amused—or was it fond?—gaze.

Castiel was unsure what they were to do now, and he voiced as much, "What now?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. What'cha wanna do?"

Castiel laughed softly. It was just like Dean to (in a way) invite someone over and then have nothing planned. Though Castiel, curse him for it, thought it was cute.

They ended up watching movies and eating food in their room, even though Dean's mom called, "You better not have food up there! Bugs!"

"We don't!" Dean yelled back and sniggered.

Castiel nibbled on a chip after that before he gained the confidence to stuff two in his mouth at once. They were watching superhero movies, they were all a bit of a blur. Castiel spent most of the time sneaking glances at Dean and Dean spent most of the time trying to get popcorn stuck in Castiel's hair. After about the thirteenth try Castiel grabbed his hand, snatched the popcorn from it, and then threw it in his face.

Despite the fact he looked ridiculous with buttered popcorn sticking to his cheek and one landing on his mouth, he laughed as he fell on his back. Castiel hated himself for not being able to stay upset with him and instead a smile crawled onto his face unwelcomed. His heart ran wild and he wanted to slap himself for thinking Dean's eyes were brighter than any star he'd ever seen.

"What?" Dean laughed, referring to Castiel's loving gaze. He grabbed some more popcorn and launched it at him.

That might as well been a declaration for war because Castiel grabbed the bag and poured it over Dean's head.

"What the hell?!" Dean shouted without any real anger in his voice. Laughter bubbled up inside him as he grabbed a fistful of the snack and shoved it down Castiel's shirt.

Castiel shook his shirt and retaliated by throwing some Doritos at Dean, chest heaving with laughter.

Needless to say, Dean's mother was outraged to find chips and popcorn scattered so far over the room she couldn't see the carpet at all and, "How did you get popcorn on the ceiling?!" Dean apologized halfheartedly, his eyes stuck on Castiel, still on the floor in front of the TV, picking popcorn out of his hair with his lip stuck out in a pout. After promising to clean up the room—"and the kitchen," – Dean rejoined Castiel on the floor, who just peeled his shirt off and threw it at him.

"I hate you," he said jestingly and ran his hands over his torso in some kind of attempt to get the butter off. "I'm using your bathroom."

Dean didn't realize he was staring until Castiel raised a brow at him and ran off the bathroom. But it was perfectly normal to think a friend was attractive. And there was another word: Attractive. Because Castiel was attractive, and at the moment Dean perfectly understood the word. Still, he grumbled as he started to pick up pieces of popcorn as he heard the shower water turn on.

Dean dated Lisa for a total of eight days before they split up, and like usual, Dean wasn't too upset about it. Castiel felt better now that there wasn't anyone hanging around Dean, kissing him and touching him in ways that Castiel knew he himself couldn't. He knew it was wrong to envy them, but he couldn't help himself.

Castiel was absorbed in his classes for finals and Dean claimed he didn't need to study, or at least that was before he received a D on his quiz.

"I totally aced that thing! I swear this test is fixed."

Castiel rolled his eyes and snatched the paper from Dean's hands before he could object. A weird smile slithered up his face and he snorted in an attempt to conceal laughter. "None of these words are even remotely spelled right."

"French spelling is hard!"

Castiel burst out laughing and shoved the paper back in Dean's direction.

"What?!"

"Did you try to use Google Translate?" Castiel asked, eyes glinting in hilarity.

A soft blush dusted over Dean's cheeks. "Uh, yeah?"

"You said 'I love cat food.'"

Castiel bit his lip so he didn't smile. Dean huffed defensively and crumpled the paper up and threw it inside his bag. They walked out to the parking lot and Dean got in the car first, still visibly sour. Castiel felt a bit bad for teasing him like that, but it was just a little hilarious.

"I can tutor you if you want," Castiel said, "For your final. It's on Monday, right?"

Dean nodded, still sulking.

Castiel leaned on the window as they drove, obviously going to Dean's house. His eyes flickered back and forth from Dean and the blur of trees. Dean's blush had died down by now and he seemed to have cooled down. Still, Castiel smiled to himself. He was in way too deep with this.

Dean ran up to his room without looking at anyone else as usual, and, as usual, Castiel nodded to Dean's mother as he passed her. Dean had started pulling out some video games by the time Castiel came up, and found them snatched out of his hands.

"Hey!"

Castiel put them away again. "We're studying, remember?"

Dean groaned. "You were serious about that?"

"Tu n'est pas?"

Dean winced, "Uh…"

In less than fifteen minutes they were sitting next to each other on Dean's bed, sharing his textbook. ("Not that you even need it, smarty-pants," Dean glared.) After Dean's mom had come up to check this time if there was no food, Dean started getting bored.

"Hey," Castiel flicked his forehead.

Dean groaned dramatically loud and rolled onto his back. "I'm done."

Castiel shook his head and sighed, but seemed to have given up. "It's your fault if you fail," he said lying next to him, "I was trying to help you."

The bed was just big enough for the two of them, and if you were to ask Dean, it was more comfortable with Cas beside him. Dean turned his head to see Castiel staring at the ceiling, eyes fluttering down his face and back up. His opinion from the last time he was over was not swayed in any way, Castiel was very attractive.

He tried to say it in French, "C'est un beau garçon."

Castiel's eyes snapped over, shocked. Dean felt doubtful of what he just said when Castiel stared at him for the longest time. Their voices had lowered to a whisper because that's all that was needed in such proximity.

"Did you even know what you said?" Castiel asked softly.

Dean gave a crooked smile. "Uh, I hope?"

"Tu est très beau aussi," Castiel said back, smiling.

Dean stared back blankly until he finally said, "What's that mean?"

Castiel's head tilted back as he laughed. Dean couldn't tear his eyes away.

"I returned the compliment," Castiel smiled. "You are very beautiful, too."

The words came like a shock of electricity. He meant to say attractive, but beautiful? A soft blush danced over his cheeks. Still, he couldn't really deny it, Cas' bright blue eyes were… Definitely beautiful.

"Dean?"

"Hey, Cas," he said, "We're friends, right?"

Castiel squinted in incomprehension. "Yes?"

"Friends can hug, can't they?"

"Well, I suppose they can."
"That means they can kiss, too."

"Kiss?"

Before Castiel could argue any further, Dean had moved over just an inch and his lips touched Castiel's cheek. Castiel was still, afraid if he moved he would either do something or it would greaten the distance between them. Dean's eyes locked with his, and God there was nothing in the world Castiel wanted more than to grab him and kiss him properly.

Dean moved just over him, their breaths mingling and there was nearly no distance between them. It was torture for Castiel and an experiment for Dean.

That being said, it was too torturous to stay still and Castiel pushed Dean over and claimed his lips. Damn the consequences because he'd needed this for years. Thinking was thrown out the window when Dean kissed back and Castiel felt elation fire up inside him. He felt Dean's hands in his hair and nothing was more perfect in his life.

"I love you," Castiel whispered into his lips, "Oh, God, I love you, you stupid, oblivious, annoying kid."

Dean chuckled and the hands on Castiel's hair tightened as he gave it a tug in retaliation. "Yeah, yeah, love you, too."

"In a friendly way?"

Dean nodded and pressed closer.

Castiel snorted. "Yeah, right."

And then there were words like kiss.