Blue eyes blue sky
Anime: Naruto
Pairings: Sasuke X Naruto, Shikamaru X Naruto, Neji X Tenten, Chouji X Ino
Genre: Tragedy
Warnings: Yaoi (Shonen-ai maleXmale), OOC-ness, suggestive terms, and spoilers till past chapter 328. The rest is basically an edited story line or not mentioned.
Personal thoughts:A weird written story, something I love to do for oneshots.
Anyways, if you want to read it, try to enjoy it.
Or you can bash it if you swing that way.
Oneshot
Done in Shikamaru's Pov.
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The clouds are nice today… they're puffy and free… so unknown to what's going on around them, just blowing so freely. I wish I was like a cloud, I wouldn't have to worry about my problems. I really want to escape them right now… but it isn't so hard, today's a nice day, it's sunny and complete opposite of my mood. The wind's blowing hard, trying to rush things along but I wish things could slow down so I could analyze this entire thing better. Not to mention it's sunny… but I'm glad it's sunny, it keeps my mind off of my problems…
…
I don't think it's helping… how troublesome, the weather seems to be against me. Is there something wrong with wasting the day staring up at the sky? Weather never seemed to like to fit my emotions. Although it would be odd if it did… like it did with someone else with blue eyes. Maybe that's it, maybe because his eyes are blue that he has a better connection with it.
I'm talking nonsense… how troublesome.
I remember my first mission as a Chunin was disastrous… I felt miserable afterwards… but the sky did not weep for me or my comrades except the one with blue eyes. Most of my team was seriously injured and I got away with just a broken finger… which I did to myself. I almost lost two of my members… if I did… I wouldn't know what I would have done. If I would have quit then and there… maybe my life could have been much simpler; doing a simple job, earning a simple wage, and meeting simple people.
The sky cried for a bit on that mission, turns out it had to wash away that traitor's scent. It probably cried because that's what he wanted to do… the sky wept for him and then shone, giving him hope. Because of course, he had promised to bring the traitor back… this was my first glance at my problem… at least I think this was the first glance at my problem because I really don't know when my problem started.
I was twelve when I got promoted to Chunin and I really had no idea what I had gotten myself into by talking with the sky's son, the one with blue eyes. He was kind and nice, tan skin, golden hair like the sun and determined to keep on rising… keep on coming, just like the beautiful sky. Destined to come back after a dark and gloomy night and shine happily. Destined to just keep traveling in the wind just like it's acting on the spur of a moment.
I wonder when I let my eyes close… why don't I want to look at the sky anymore… why have I been losing track of time? Why have I wasted my time lying here all day replaying the same thing over in my head? What kind of joke is this? It's such a drag… but I continue living with it. I can still feel the burning rays of the sun on my face and on my outstretched body. Trying to roast me alive, keeping me enveloped in it's grasp. It's something that's near impossible to escape.
The sky is my trap.
I always thought the sky was to let people free… it seemed to with Neji, Neji referred to the sky as freedom and he got his freedom. Along with his freedom he gained many friends and he's happy. Although he'd probably never admit it… he's married to Tenten… has it really been that long? Was Neji really twenty-three now? Time seems to fly by… so what is time to me then?
Something I seem to waste and take advantage of… and then when it's gone, you never really thought how much you'd miss it. I can't believe I do miss my time… I'm not one to regret things… for regretting is troublesome. Time was my life… it was wasted and I spent so much time slacking off and not realizing that I had lost what I wanted. Everyone's happy and everyone's smiling… is that why the sky is happy today? The sky always seems to be against me then…
Everyone has seemed to find what they're looking for…
Searching… I'm constantly searching through these thoughts… where did I go wrong? What could I have done to make myself happy? Maybe it sounds greedy… but… I can't just forget about my sky, it's something that's always there. You can look to it if you're happy… or if you're sad. Exactly like the sky's son, but it still does not understand why you're sad or happy, it just keeps on floating by… like the sky's son.
The sky is very expressive, it shines when it's happy, it hides behind clouds when it doesn't want to be seen. It can be gloomy and just sends a bad vibe out and it can be thundering, which makes people run for cover. The sky's son, is too similar to the sky, although he may not have thunderstorms… it's because he doesn't have to. He's happy and continues floating along blissfully, doing whatever he pleases. He does not care what people below him thinks, he just believes that he will one day rise above all.
So where did I go wrong? I think it'd have to be when I was fifteen, still a Chunin, but I had improved a lot. I remember going on a mission, it was unclear what was going to happen… if anyone was going to live. But the sky just keep smiling because it always reflected her son's emotions. Naturally like a good mother, she feels whatever her child feels.
The snake's lair was where we went, to recapture the traitor and take him back… we were finally going to rescue him. I had said I was willing to help the sky's son get his best friend back. You think having an IQ 200 would help me out in this sort of situation… but no matter how much I try to think of a solution… I can't. My one solution was the worst one I could have done… avoid the sky's son. Being an Anbu is difficult and I'm often taking life threatening missions.
Not like the sky's son cares…
The sky continues to shine as I risk my life… still smiling, why? Because the sky doesn't care about the other people, she only cares about her son… This is the way of a mother. Maybe the sky treats her son like a son because he lost his real mother. In a way… it seems the sky is sweet… but like my mother… it can be quite troublesome.
Rescuing the traitor was difficult to an extreme… a lot of people lost there lives in that battle… but in the end. The snake was dead and the traitor was rescued and the sky continued to smile happily just like his blue eyes. I remember the glance he gave me when we finally got the traitor back. They were full of life and the smile had filled me with such a desirable feeling… one that I can't even recall anymore… because the sky's eyes are not smiling at me but at the traitor.
Maybe I'm jealous… but why do geniuses always get what they want? The traitor… Neji… they are geniuses… or what everyone would call a genius. Genius' are perfect in our world, they are everything… they are the foundation of our home. Everything is always about those who work hard and do great things. What about the small shadows there that is under the geniuses.
Are they nothing?
I'm a shadow… always ignored, overlooked, I'm just always there… doing nothing but copying your pathetic moves. A shadow of a genius… is that what I am… if I was a genius… would I have been able to smile at the sky's son? Would I see the sky's son everyday and realize that the sky is smiling to me. But it's not… no matter how much I want to think that… the sky is shinning on the one above me, the genius…
The traitor…
The problems only worsened as I got older… when I was sixteen, the traitor… was no longer a traitor… he was back and there to stay. And everyone seemed to forget what the traitor made the sky's son, Chouji, Neji and Kiba go through. Everyone seemed to forget and move on… but how… they almost died… and it was my fault… I've felt that feeling only three times in my lifetime… the feeling of being trapped in a memory. That mission has stuck with me for a long time and I don't think it will ever leave and neither will the other ones.
The traitor was different though, he spent time with the girls and he spent time with the sky's son. He spent a lot of time with the sky's son. I should have realized what I felt and what the traitor felt… but once again I was too slow. I was a few steps behind. In my fifteen's I had lost my sensei… it had gotten me into my smoking habit. I can't seem to stop smoking… nor do I want to… it reminds me of my forgotten sensei.
Was he a shadow like me? Once it's not there anymore, no one would notice. That's what we are, shadows… and we always will be. My sensei should be out of my mind but this is the second time in my life I felt I'd be stuck in. I push past it for my missions and I keep on going but it is something that my mind will not let me forget… like the sky…
Have you ever wanted to just reach out and touch the sky?
At age seventeen, that's what I wanted to do… it was an urge I had, to caress the sky's son. To hold him tight and be the one that always made the sky shine with such intensity. But I was controlled and never took myself up on that urge… is that where I went wrong? Not trusting my body to make the right decisions on my own… I really am a shadow, following whatever my owner wishes. My owner… as much as I hate it… seemed to be that traitor… why was he my owner…
Why was I his shadow?
Eighteen years of age… I still found girls troublesome… I tried Temari and Ino, but nothing touched me. I've lost both of them to another man now anyways… so it does not matter… it wouldn't feel the same anyways. I had still yet to kiss someone on the lips, I refused to let Temari and Ino do that until it was at least a little more serious. But it never got that far… Temari was too troublesome and Ino dumped me for my smoking problem… I guess I'm just too troublesome.
Kissing was supposed to be a wonderful thing… but my first kiss came by a surprise. The sky's son had kissed me by accident… I think he tripped. I can't really recall. My face heated up and heart raced at the small contact of our lips… maybe it wasn't a kiss. Maybe it was more of a peck. But it felt just as good as a kiss… or how I think a kiss should feel… I get pretty good descriptions of how kissing feels from Ino and her endless rants about her boyfriend. But she only started dating her boyfriend at age twenty, so I guess that didn't help me until later.
I guess the reason it wasn't a full kiss is because someone had grabbed him, none other then the traitor. I don't understand why some signs are harder to read then others… the signs I had for that year was between me and the sky's son. I didn't know what it was… at least at the time. The strong bond I felt between me and the sky's son. We were friends when we were little but we had grown apart and now we were friends again.
The feeling I had went beyond friendship… I dismissed it as best friend friendship for quite awhile. I realized what it really was at nineteen years of age… that feeling… I realized it while talking with Chouji… what was it that he said that triggered it? I think it was when he told me he had a crush on Ino for the longest time. He told me about his feelings because I am his best friend. I guess it sort of dawned on me that that was the way I felt about the sky's son.
That day after that was bright and I swear it got brighter when I went to go talk with the sky's son. I had went there to test if the feeling was correct, or if I was just getting confused. Typical nervousness is what you're supposed to feel… but was that the way I felt around him? It's like me to analyze things before acting and running into the situation because it could lead to pain and that would be troublesome.
I had been close with the sky's son because of that feeling, I had assumed we were close friends… so I had entered his house without knocking. Too bad he wasn't there… so I had to search for him. It was like him to be troublesome. I had found him later that day without trying. I was helping Chouji with his problem when I caught eye of him. I quickly dismissed myself before looking for him. The sky's son was out in the middle of a field, smiling with the traitor and laughing… I think they had been there all day. The sky's son was the first one to speak…
"So, when do I get another one?"
Curiosity is a bad thing… curiosity is troublesome. Apparently both where so engrossed in their conversation that hadn't realized I was there. I was going to call out to them and wave but my hand stopped midway up when the traitor spoke.
"How about now."
The traitor had moved over and planted a long loving kiss on the sky's son… no wonder it was so bright out. I had immediately left them alone… I didn't want to watch what happened next. I don't know what happened then but something seemed to be left behind, I feel somewhat… empty. Like when I let my team down and when Asuma-sensei died. But it was different then disappointment in myself… I never liked the traitor, even when I was little. I just never got along with him and I specified that with the sky's son, who happened to be his best friend…
Heh… best friend… wouldn't be the right word to describe it. As I look back now, I can clearly see they felt more then friendship. Constant determination, the stares, the comments, the playful actions. It all lead up to the kiss… it all lead up to the sky's son and the traitor getting together. I guess the traitor probably loved the sky's son before I did… I don't know when I loved the sky's son… but I was probably just following in the genius' shadow. One step behind him…
I was in my late teens when I had found out that they liked each other and got told of their relationship at twenty. The sky was gleaming freaking bright that day. The sky's son had found what he had always wanted… acceptance in his "best friend". The sky's son was happy and so was the sky… I don't remember much rain during those months actually… it makes me wonder if he really is the sky's son. But that's just nonsense and nonsense is troublesome.
Being stuck somewhere is troublesome… but that's what I am… stuck… I can't get things out of my mind easily. I just remember… it's something that's supposed to be a gift, as well as my analyzing skills. Although sometimes I wish I didn't have those analyzing skills. I can remember one clear example where I wish I didn't analyze it. It happened after a big party bash. The sky's son had been the one to plan it. It was at the traitor's house too, that's right, the traitor actually threw a party at his house.
It took a lot of convincing for the sky's son and I'm positive I knew what he convinced him with. Although I still wish I didn't, the two had snuck off from the party and when they came back they were both rather flushed. The sky's son also had been walking… ermm… funny. I really wished I didn't notice that…. I don't want to know what the two do in their free time… it's rather disturbing…
Sigh…
The sky's son was happy… so everything's supposed to be great, I'm supposed to support him in whatever he does. But… I find it so troublesome to hang out with him, even though we seem to have become best friends. The sky's son and the shadow… I don't think they were supposed to mix, it causes too many complications. Especially at age twenty-one, when the sky's son seemed to think he could tell me everything.
That was exceptionally troublesome, he told me all his problems, his dreams, everything he shared with his lover. When his lover and him got in an argument, he seemed to come to me for reassurance. How come when you care, you'd do anything for that person? Well I guess that's how I am… I make my life troublesome even though I hate having troublesome situations. The sky's son always relied on me but it was foolish because no matter what the traitor would make it up with him… one way or another.
I guess there was nothing I could do… even if I did try and give him the wrong advice… the traitor would make it up to him. They seemed to be meant for each other. After all a genius is the only one who could truly understand how the sky works. So how come I, a simple shadow, can read the sky? But I guess it's because the sky and a shadow are different… he is significant, I am not. He brings light and I bring darkness… I am troublesome after all.
My feelings for the sky's son, how long has it remained… how could I still have them? After all this time... It just won't leave and it's such a drag. It keeps going on and on… I can't seem to forget his smile, or his grace, the perfectly tanned skin or the beautiful blue eyes. His perfect blue eyes… I've fallen for those perfect blue eyes… I've fallen for every being of him.
I'm in love with the sky's son.
That's right I love Naruto Uzumaki… but… he doesn't love me… he loves Sasuke Uchiha… tomorrow is their marriage and Naruto asked me to be his best man… Why did I say yes… love is painful and it's still attacking me at age twenty-two. Naruto and Sasuke are getting married and there is nothing I can do… but be my shadowy self and watch these pathetic moves as I am pushed aside… forgotten… For I am nothing more to the world then a shadow below them… to be pushed around and used for amusement… This is what the sky wants with me… I am it's nothing…
…
It's raining…
How troublesome… the weather finally decides to display my emotion.
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Personal thoughts: My poor Shikamaru, I couldn't help it, the idea just hit me…I really liked how it turned out… I think. I like writing these sort of oneshots, they're just so fun… but that might be because it's always sad. If you don't get it, here's a basic summery. Shikamaru likes Naruto but Naruto and Sasuke find out they like each other before Shikamaru realizes he likes Naruto. Naruto and Sasuke are dating and Shikamaru still has attractions to Naruto. Naruto and Sasuke are getting married and Shikamaru agreed to be Naruto's best man. Shikamaru is depressed and just wishes he could stop these feelings from taking over his life.
Sky's son: Naruto
Traitor: Sasuke
Shadow: Shikamaru
Anyways enjoy, don't review if you don't want to… I really don't care. But I will appreciate them if you do give comments, since I finally decided I should be replying to them.
Thanks for reading!