I ask myself is this love at all?
Emily was waiting at the coffee shop for Maya; they had agreed to be just friends. Sure Maya was pretty, funny, and smart, but she just wasn't Alison. Even though it had been over an year since her disappearance, Emily's mind still wandered back to Ali, time and time again. She began playing with her bracelet, the one Alison had given her. It was the day Ali promised all five of them would be best friends forever. What the other three girls didn't know however, was Emily was keeping a secret. A secret only Alison knew about.
Emily felt safe with Alison, so one day Emily kissed her while they were in Ali's tree house. Alison pulled away and explained to Emily that she thought best friends did not do that. But ever since that day, Alison had flirted with Emily. She teased her in the kind of way where you like someone but you just can't come right out and say it.
Ali would always be the first one to grab Emily's hand or to be the first to go into the dressing room with her. It's true Emily was shocked and confused that Alison flirted with her, especially after she told her best friends shouldn't kiss. Emily didn't mind Ali leading her on though; she liked it. Alison gave her all the attention and affection she could ever wish for.
One night they were at a sleep over with all five girls; Emily and Alison were sleeping on the floor together, side by side. When Alison knew the other girls were asleep, she may have accidentally threw her arm over Emily's shoulder. Emily's eyes opened in an instant, Ali simply smiled and closed the small gap between them. Before Emily could even speak, Alison inched forward until their lips touched. The kiss was over almost before it began. When Alison pulled away, she stared at Emily. She gave her a knowing smirk, rolled over and went to sleep without saying a word to Emily.
Emily smiled, remembering the moment. But there was one in particular would always be her favorite: it was what happened two months later after that kiss at the sleep over.
Emily had read the text that Alison had sent, telling her to meet her at the shed in the woods at ten o'clock that night. It was their secret hideout, the place where they would share secret kisses and flirt with one another. Alison was a completely different person when she was alone with Emily. She wasn't the manipulative, self centered bitch everyone knew. She was a sweet, caring, and gentle person. She listened when Emily told her her problems, she held her when she cried. She did everything everyone else thought she wouldn't or even couldn't do.
In the text she said not to tell anyone, especially the other girls, where she was tonight. Emily thought it was odd for her to say that, because she never did; it was like their unspoken promise not to tell the others about what they did. Emily looked at her watch: ten-oh-three. She looked around the old shed, her hands in her pockets and took a deep breath. She knew Alison would be there any second.
Just then she saw Alison climbing up the ladder; Emily rushed over to help her. Ali happily took her hand for the last steps. She noticed Ali had brought a blanket with her, lying it down on the messy hay. Emily wondered if they were just going to spend the night in the shed, just the two of them. Ali sat down on the blanket and quickly instructed Emily to sit down beside her - Emily always did what she was told when it came to Alison.
It was silent for a second. Emily was about to ask why they were up here, but Alison spoke first.
"So I was thinking we should try something..." Alison began as she started unzipping her pink jacket.
"Like what?" Emily asked still unsure of where this was going. Alison took off her jacket and threw it across to the other side of the shed. She smiled. Emily knew that smile; Alison wanted something. Ali moved closer to Emily until their legs were touching. She tucked a stray hair behind Emily's ear and whispered seductively. "We should have sex."
Ali was never one for subtlety.
Emily's mouth went dry and her face turned red. Alison wanted her?
"What? Why...? I mean..." Emily was at loss for words; Ali had that affect on her.
"Well, how else are you supposed to know if you're into girls?" she asked.
"I don't know..." Emily stuttered out, blushing even harder.
Alison reached out and traced the outside of Emily's jaw line. Emily could feel Ali's hot breath against her skin. It felt like Alison was almost begging Emily to have sex with her.
"What's wrong? I thought you trusted me?"
Of course Emily trusted Alison; she was the only person she did trust.
"You know I do." Emily told her firmly.
"Then let me help you." Alison stared at her with needy eyes. Leaning forward, she cupped Emily's cheek and whispered, "It's okay," before kissing her.
The kiss was slow at first. Then it became hotter and hungrier. The softness of the kiss gave way to an intensity that both frightened and excited the two girls. Alison had gotten on top of Emily without ever breaking the kiss. She pulled away for a moment, taking off her shirt and unsnapping her bra.
Alison was very bold, like she wasn't afraid at all.
Emily, still unsure of what to do, started taking off her own shirt, but Ali stopped her. She smiled.
"My job," she insisted, before helping Emily out of her shirt and undoing her bra as well.
Emily found herself suddenly embarrassed; sure they had changed in front of each other before, but this was different.
Ali inched forward and whispered, "You're beautiful Em."
Emily was pretty certain she had fallen in love right then.
Alison began kissing her neck. Emily had let her head fall back, allowing Alison to have total control over her. Alison's hands split time between Emily's back, stomach, and chest. Emily felt like she was dying, but also felt so electrically alive. She was sure her heart had stopped beating - or was simply beating so fast she couldn't feel it anymore. She couldn't register anything except her and Alison's gasps and moans.
Alison met her lips once more, hands tangling in Emily's hair, as she tried to pull Emily closer. Alison wrapped her legs around Emily's waist and Emily let out a deep moan when their centers collided. Alison ranked her freshly painted nails down Emily's exposed back.
Ali, breaking the kiss, began to run her hands up and down Emily's thighs, teasing her by leaning in and breathing on her lips, but not taking the extra centimeter to kiss her properly.
Alison grinned and finally gave in, kissing her roughly, finding the edge of Emily's shorts and stroking her gently through her panties. She returned to kissing and licking Emily's neck, interrupted every often by Emily's desperate moans. Emily gasped as Ali's fingers pushed aside her panties and slid easily inside of her.
Once Ali had managed to get a rhythm going, pumping her fingers in and out, she added another finger. Emily moaned, her head falling back again. It wasn't long until Emily was bucking against Ali's hand. Emily gripped Ali's should tightly as she managed a moan before finally coming.
Alison held her until she came down from her high. When Emily opened her eyes, Alison was staring at her wordlessly, smiling sweetly. Alison quickly kissed her lips once more and said that she had to go. And just like that, Alison was gone. It was over - the most amazing experience of Emily's life was over. Emily covered herself up with the blanket Alison had left, the blanket they had just had just made love on. She fell asleep with a grin on her face, knowing this night would be with her forever.
Emily knew that she had fallen in love with Alison on that night, but she was also well aware that Alison was probably never going to love her in return. What they had was nothing but a fling it seemed. They both knew that night had been something more though.
It began raining as Emily let a silent tear roll down her cheek. She truly wished Alison was with her right now, lacing her fingers with her own and telling her everything would be okay. Except, Emily knew everything wouldn't be okay because Alison wasn't there. She took a deep breath and wiped the tear from her cheek as she saw Maya coming through the door. She put on a fake smile for Maya when she sat down, but as they started talking, all Emily could think was there would definitely never be another Alison.
I'll hold you close, we'll stay forever