We Need A Physician
It was rather late in the evening and Gaius had already prepared for bed when Merlin burst rather suddenly into his and Gaius' shared quarters, a terrified expression on his face.
"Merlin? What is it, has something happened?" Gaius asked, concerned, sitting up in bed. Merlin closed the door behind him and began pacing nervously, fiddling with his fingers.
"Yes. Nothing… life threatening." Merlin said, trying to find the words to say. He stopped his pacing and opened his mouth to speak, closed it again, then resumed pacing several times.
"Merlin, you know you can trust me." Gaius said, trying to comfort him enough to open up.
"I know, Gaius, I know. This is just, really, really hard to say." explained Merlin. "Um, I need you to come to Gwaine's chambers."
"What's happened to him?" Gaius asked, standing to dress and get his things.
"He, uh… I..." Merlin stuttered.
"Merlin, I can't help him if I don't know what's wrong." said Gaius, pausing in his preparations to look at the boy. Merlin sat down on a stool and put his face in his hands.
"Oh, I don't want to say it." Merlin said, words slightly muffled. Gaius finished getting dressed and waited for Merlin to tell him the problem. He lifted his head and spoke, "Gwaine has… Gwaine has a wood penis stuck inside him." Merlin's face turned an alarming shade of red.
To say Gaius was surprised would be the wrong word. Shocked, closer, but still not right. Horrified, mortified, confused and a little faint were similarly close. It was more like a mix of all those things at once. "Oh." he simply said then stood silent for a moment.
"Can you help him?" Merlin asked through his embarrassment, looking pained and hopeful simultaneously.
"...I believe so." said Gaius as he began collecting supplies, partially to distract his mind from thoughts of what his protege had to have been doing to come across such a problem.
"Oh thank the gods." Merlin said, letting out the breath he didn't realize he had been holding in.
Once Gaius had collected his things they made for Gwaine's room. The walk there was uncomfortable and quiet. Merlin was too ashamed to speak and Gaius was trying to keep his thoughts purely medical and speech would only make it more difficult. When they finally arrived Merlin knocked on the door gently. "Gwaine? It's me. And Gaius." Merlin said. To his surprise, Gwaine opened the door, clothed, smiling uncomfortably and shifting from one leg to the other.
"Thank you, Gaius, but I no longer require your help. I... fixed the problem myself." he said, avoiding the physician's eyes. Gaius sighed in relief and started to walk away hurriedly but had a thought, he turned toward them, but didn't look at them.
"Next time use one with a flared end, please." he said before making a hasty retreat.
Merlin and Gwaine groaned in embarrassment. "Please let me stay here tonight." Merlin begged.
"After what you just put us through?" Gwaine asked incredulously.
"Like I meant for that to happen! I'm not going back to Gaius' right now, I'm going to end up sleeping on the floor in a cupboard if you don't." said Merlin, giving Gwaine his best puppy eyes. Gwaine sighed and opened the door wider, unable to deny Merlin anything for long.
Thanks for reading!
This is part of the Partners In Crime series.