Written for thedarkestcrow's birthday, my friend over at Tumblr!

This story was inspired by the following posts:
post/172799417484/i-could-see-lizzy-adopt-a-pony-tail-as-she-starts
post/170006464272/hello-i-was-thinking-did-yana-ever-write-on

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters you'll read about in this one shot. They're all the properties of Yana Toboso.

« Are you sure ? »

« Yes. »

"But are you really sure, Lizzie?"

"Yes Sully, I can assure you I am."

Sieglinde frowned, not convinced, and turned to Nina Hopkins who was waiting patiently, hoping for a backup. The talented and fashionable clothier only smiled while weighing the scissors that she held in hand, not desiring to influence her client's decision, so Sieglinde sighed again.

"Lizzie, I still think that this is not a good idea. I cut my long hair but it was because I wanted a new, fresh start. Besides, I am more of tomboy than you are and Ciel himself said so!"

For the first time since the two young ladies had entered Nina's shop to make some new dresses one cold afternoon of winter, Lizzie stopped smiling to stare at her friend. There was no coldness in her gaze, but she was serious all the same. "Sully, I told you before, I want, no… I think I need a fresh start too. Especially after everything that happened, I…"

Guessing what she was about to say, Sieglinde quickly raised her hands in apology. This little outing was supposed to be a joyful moment they could both enjoy with each other, especially after the rather morbid last few months. Besides, Sieglinde had promised herself that she would try not to make Lizzie address any depressing subjects relating to what she had lived through recently. What Lizzie needed was comfort right now and she herself had helped the German prodigy so much after her arrival in England that the least to do was reciprocating.

So, inhaling and then smiling widely, Sieglinde said: "Then cut your hair if that is what you wish! It will grow back and you are so lovely that I doubt any haircut will manage to make you look ugly anyway."

Lizzie smiled brightly again upon hearing her friend's approval and turned to nod at Nina who was still waiting with the scissors in hand. The clothier started humming to herself as she undid her regular client's twin tails, combing through her hair with her fingers. "Lady Elizabeth, your hair is not naturally wavy, is it not?"

"No, it is not. Or rather, Paula curling it most mornings of a week ends up giving it a constant wavy semblance, but it is not naturally like that."

"It will be hard to curl it once your hair will be shorter though", Nina remarked with a soft voice, "and I was under the impression that you liked it when it curled."

"I do! Mother's hair looks naturally wavier than mine but I always thought it was prettier her way rather than my boringly straight hair, so Paula curled it for me for years."

"Lady Midford's hair, huh…" Nina appeared thoughtful for a moment, stroking a strand of Elizabeth's hair between her thumb and forefinger. "Tell me Lady Elizabeth, do you know how long the Marchioness' hair is now?"

Elizabeth took a moment to think about Nina's question. She had never seen her mother without her hair being neatly tucked into a bun except on rare occasions, like getting ready for the night or after an intense training session, but she expected it would at least reach the middle of her back, which is what she told Nina.

"I think sometimes her maid cuts the tips though, so it is possible that it might have grown longer than that."

Nina chuckled a little at this, to Lizzie's and Sieglinde's confusion. However before any of the girls could ask, the clothier was already explaining: "The Marchioness was my very first client and back then I remember her hair already reached her hips. It was at the same time as I was told that she was a skilled fencer, which impressed me even more."

"Mother was your first client?" Lizzie repeated, blinking. "But she is older than you are Nina, so how old were you both when you worked on an outfit for her?"

"Well, let me see… She must have been eighteen years old and I was twelve? My father was already outfitting Earl Phantomhive's predecessor, Lord Vincent, as well as his sister at the time, but I was overflowing with creativity and so he kindly asked if I could work on a creation for your mother, Lady Elizabeth."

Sieglinde almost whistled before reminding herself that it was not particularly lady-like, while Lizzie smiled at Nina's apparent enthusiasm. "Your family line outfitted many generations of the Queen's Watchdog, is it not the case, Nina?"

"Indeed! I do not know myself when it started, but my father always insisted that the Phantomhive family was a very important client of us, the Hopkins tailors. I do still feel grateful to this day for the Marchioness' kindness towards my slight inexperience of back then and despite how she initially scared me, but—"

"Wait, Nina?! Mother scared you?" To this, Lizzie could not help but chuckle. She knew Nina would have never meant to be insulting with that comment, but she found funny that it was mostly what the clothier remembered from her very first client, knowing how unstoppable she was when it came to her own opinions about fashion. "She is indeed very strict, but I always thought that she had perhaps a mellow side to herself when she was younger. I guess not then."

Nina's expression softened after the passionate look her reminiscence had triggered. Putting down the scissors that she had kept in hand all this time, she leaned against the dressing table Elizabeth was sitting at. "I dare say it was my inexperience that led to such a reaction out of the Marchioness. However, after that initial misunderstanding, things worked out quite well and I was able to meet her expectations as well as my father's."

"But what happened?" Sieglinde asked, not able to hide her curiosity. The younger girl had met Lady Midford only a few times, the last being when she had stormed on stage one November evening during one of the Phantom Five's concerts to bring her son, Lord Edward, back home. Almost two months had passed since then, but Sieglinde had instantly understood why Ciel himself had said that he was no match for her.

"Oh, well, I attempted to cut her hair you see, and she expectedly did not take kindly to that."

Leaving only a few seconds for the surprise to settle in, Nina did not wait for the younger girls' astounded reaction before explaining further, no shame at all underlying in her voice, proof that she really had put the event behind her. "I was 12 and my father had just explained to me that Lady Frances had agreed that I could design a special outfit for her as my very first work. You know the kind, Lady Elizabeth, a dress that would allow for a few weapons to be hidden underneath."

Lizzie nodded to that, still inwardly wondering how such an usual assignment could have led to a twelve year old Nina trying to cut her mother's hair, but she did not have to wait very long to find out.

"My father and I came to the Phantomhive manor after he had explained to me what kind of dress your mother would need due to her position as a relative of the Queen's Watchdog's. Mr. Tanaka received us with kindness as he always would – I do not recall meeting Lord Phantomhive that day however – and I met with Lady Midford alone but, as I was starting to take my measurements, I tried to convince her to cut her hair and, as you could guess, she refused. Voilà."

The story as it was with its abrupt conclusion did not satisfy Lizzie's curiosity, nor did it Sieglinde's, but the latter could afford to be less inquiring than the former since she was not Lady Midford's daughter. "But Nina, why would you even want to cut my mother's hair?" Lizzie asked, her eyes widening, "was the Alice style already en vogue back then?"

"Non, obviously it was not. Years ago, I just thought that it would prove easier for her to have shorter hair – it reached her hips, Lady Elizabeth! – especially since she was described to me as a great fencer who also had skills with guns. Quite original for a noble lady, really!"

Yes, it was indeed no surprise to almost everyone that Nina always was very appreciative of Lady Midford's… aesthetic, but Lizzie personally never thought it anything else but charming.

"So my inexperience it was, as I told you," Nina kept going. "I chose to see only efficiency over any personal preference. The look Lady Midford gave me when I attempted to insist and convince her was quite frightening, to say the least, and I remember leaving the room for a moment to join with my father, tears threatening to fall."

The two ladies could only imagine the scene in silence, Lizzie knowing better than anyone what kind of glare her mother was capable of generating, as Nina smiled to herself, no bitterness in sight.

"It was Mr. Tanaka who explained to me that Lady Midford - who was still young Lady Phantomhive back then – was rather sensitive to the subject of hair in general. Not to mention her distaste of certain haircuts for men, as it happened she also took great care in letting her hair grow long, something the previous Countess Phantomhive had apparently done as well."

This time, Lizzie visibly tensed upon hearing the mention of her mother's own mother before blinking slowly for Nina's story to sink in. On her end, Sieglinde noticed her friend's reaction and her eyes traveled back and forth from her friend to Nina for a few seconds, wondering what exactly the matter seemed to be.

"So," the young German prodigy started slowly, still side-glancing Lizzie, "Lady Midford wanted to keep her hair long like her mother?" She did not add 'big deal', because it was inappropriate and mostly because she had a slightly hard time understanding Lizzie's silent but thoughtful reaction, but she still thought it.

"Sully," the young noble lady said gently, "I think Mother's own mother, that is my maternal grandmother, died when Mother was still young."

"…Like Ciel's parents you mean?"

Lizzie nodded slowly, the shadow of grief passing in her eyes while Nina looked down for a brief moment. "Like Uncle Vincent and Lady Rachel, yes. I hardly know more on the subject because it is not one Mother or even Uncle Vincent liked to mention, but I think it may explain why Mother was sensitive about cutting her hair in the past. Right, Nina?"

"Absolutely!" The clothier nodded vigorously, "Lady Midford liked to keep her hair long to imitate the late Countess Phantomhive's hairstyle. Something like a memento I suppose and maybe it is even still the case today, which is why I dared to ask you earlier in the first place."

Sieglinde reflected on the last few minutes of the discussion once Nina had finished her sentence. The younger girl had not thought about her own mother - for the few minutes she had known the truth about her - for a while now. To say she had been able to immediately forget about the disfigured old-looking crone who had given birth to her, amongst the rest of the treachery that was her life up until a few months ago, would be a lie though.

Sometimes she was still crossed, still shocked and sad. Some other times, she longed for a chance to go back in time, despite knowing how ridiculous it was, since she had witnessed firsthand how the military had been ready to kill her upon her discovery of the truth.
There were still nights she would wake up from a nightmare, half crying about the lie she lived for so many years and despite Wolfram's numerous explanations about the truth.

Yes, sometimes it seemed pointless to not have been able to fully confront the first twelve years of her life. However, living in England since then had helped her tremendously about seeing through what she wanted for herself (and for Wolfram too, to an extent) and she knew she had Ciel, but also Soma and Lizzie to thank for that.

Still, getting a new haircut had been a symbol of new beginnings and freedom, a way to clearly cut with her past as she strived to work for a better future. So the feeling of honoring the memory of a dead parent one had loved, as Nina's story conveyed, suddenly felt a little too foreign to her.
For so long the idea of her own mother had been one of filial love and fondness too, until the truth had painfully destroyed this image, and Sieglinde knew she would never be able to dream peacefully about it ever again.

Yet it was different for Lizzie who, as Sieglinde had understood, looked up to and respected her mother with everything she had. And as it seemed - judging by her reaction - Lizzie's tone held the same amount of respect towards the subject of her grandmother and the subject of her mother, despite hardly knowing a thing about the former, which was something Sieglinde almost felt jealous about.

She knew what it was, that Lizzie looking up to her mother, who also apparently looked up a great deal to her own, was the reason the young noble lady could afford to look up to her maternal grandmother who died so many years ago. Familial love really could be an amazing source of personal motivation, so it was slightly saddening to the German prodigy that she herself would never be able to experience that anymore.

"Sully?"

Lost in grimmer thoughts than she would have liked to admit, Sieglinde was slightly startled upon hearing Lizzie's specific way of calling out to her. The older girl was smiling her usual bright smile at her, with her hair undone but still uncut, while Nina was rummaging through her drawers looking for one thing or another. "Are you alright? You seemed to have been spacing out for a little while."

Sieglinde shook her head a little, attempting a smile of her own. "No, I am fine. I just remembered a few things… from my life back in Germany." Lizzie nodded but did not care to inquiry further than this. In fact, she never would, just like Ciel and Soma, which was something Sieglinde was grateful about.

Ciel aside, because he was aware of where she came from, all that Soma and Lizzie knew was that he had brought her back from Germany and that it had something to do with one of his missions for Queen Victoria. The details were lost on them but, while she knew Ciel had never said a word to either, both Soma and Lizzie had seemed to unknowingly agree about not asking further.

One day, Sieglinde had decided a while ago, she would tell them just like she hoped she would get to know the secrets they were probably keeping to themselves too. One day, when she would feel the need to. For now…

"So, what about your hair Lizzie? Should we move on, or is it just the dresses for today in the end?"

…Sieglinde felt that they had digressed from the purpose of this afternoon, which was mostly about cheering Lizzie up after everything that had happened in these last few months.

"Ah yes," Nina chirped in, "not to rush you, but I have another client appointment in one hour, my lovely ladies!"

Lizzie turned to look at herself in the mirror atop of the dressing table. She audibly sighed while taking the end of her hair in hand, as if weighing it and her decision at the same time. Without a doubt Nina's story had influenced her in some ways, but then again, it was understandable.

If shortening her hair had been akin to a fresh new start for Sieglinde who wanted to cut the ties to her past, Lizzie's current hairstyle was also an illustration of how she genuinely looked up to her mother and she had no reason to want to part with that. If anything, Lizzie's mother was a main reason Lizzie was such a strong young woman and this was something to be proud of.

No, the only reason Lizzie felt the need to change was regarding what had recently happened.

"Lizzie…" Sieglinde spoke slowly, "I hope you know you do not have to cut your hair just because of everything that happened with… Ciel and that Blue Sect? If you need something to… change, it can be done differently." Or so she hoped her friend would understand, because she was failing to put it with better words.

Sometimes it was easy to forget that she and Lizzie had known each other for only a few months.
But still, while Lizzie had come to accept her presence on a regular basis and had declared her a friend almost immediately, the proximity the young German prodigy shared with the young Lady Midford remained something rather new after twelve years confined in her Green Mansion in Wolfsschlucht and years surrounded by adults.

That was why Sieglinde could feel estranged from her role of confidante from time to time, especially after the recent events that had shaken London and Ciel's entourage rather strongly. The young German prodigy used to have an entire village relying on her - or so she had thought since "the Green Witch" had been the pawn all along - yet trying to do the right thing for a friend seemed immensely more difficult than every else that had been considered her duties up until a few months ago.

You are not a witch, Wolf had said on that night her whole world turned upside down, you are just an ordinary girl. These words were the first truth he had told her and they still rang loud and clear for her to be fully aware that her manservant was absolutely right. It just so happened that it took Sieglinde until this afternoon in particular to figure out than being an ordinary girl and enjoying quality time with her friend had its share of compromises to master. Which she intended to do right now.

"Lizzie… I really find your long hair pretty so, instead of cutting it, how about you start styling it differently? I do that myself with… different ribbons, almost every day, and this can definitely be called a change."

"Oh!" Nina meddled in with a smile, certainly more helpful than at the very beginning of their rendezvous, "a new style is always refreshing… Though not always fashionable obviously depending on whether it follows the current trends or not, or if it even fits the client themselves, but the new beats the old almost all the time."

"Thank you Nina," Lizzie chuckled at her tailor's volubility, "I do appreciate the support." Checking the length of her hair in the mirror once more, her smile became a touch more melancholic, "I just do not know what I am supposed to style it after, especially since I had made up my mind to cut it…"

"Well~," Nina said in cheerful voice, putting both her hands on the young noble lady's shoulders, "Reminiscing might have just given me the best idea for the daughter of Lady Midford! Not that you should expect any less from yours truly in the first place—"

"Wait, I thought we had settled on not cutting Lizzie's hair anymore?" Sieglinde intervened, slightly confused.

"May I remind you that I did not get to cut Lady Midford's hair either? Or were you not listening earlier? Now that would be rather rude, Miss Sullivan~!"

"…Lizzie, it suits you so well…! You look so pretty!"

"She does, does she not? Ah, I just knew it would be a style befitting you, Lady Elizabeth!"

"Lizzie? What do you think?"

Yet Elizabeth remained silent for a little while longer, observing the ponytail Nina had carefully combed her hair into. Her usual curled strand on the right side of her face had been left untouched, but the rest of her new hairdo made her appear like an entirely different person.

"Mother used… to wear her hair like that, right, Nina?"

"That is correct!"The bubbly tailor nodded vigorously, "This is exactly her hairdo the day I met her and that she too styled after her own mother, or so Mr. Tanaka confided to me those many years ago!"

Elizabeth stared at her more adult-looking reflection in the mirror. This was still her, of course it was, but looking more mature than she ever had before. Now it was not a bad thing at all and she liked her long ponytail… But is it a good thing, do I even have the right to style my hair like that after everything that happened recently…?

An even longer silence looming ahead, Sieglinde and Nina exchanged a glance briefly, Sieglinde starting to worry that maybe this afternoon had not been enough to cheer her friend while Nina looked thoughtful. Maybe what Lady Elizabeth needed was about more than change, maybe she sought reinsurance instead after everything that she had been through…

With this in mind, Nina went to gently pat her regular client's shoulders: "Lady Elizabeth, do you know what Mr. Tanaka also told me, years ago?"

Lizzie looked up from the mirror to Nina, slightly intrigued. Inwardly, she was slightly amazed at how much her tailor knew about her family when she felt so estranged from everything lately. Yet this was also why going to Nina was never a waste of time.

"'The Phantomhive family line has rather strong-willed women' he said, and I realized he was absolutely right from the moment one glare from your mother was enough to chill me to the bone! And you also are a strong-willed woman, Lady Elizabeth, like your mother and your grandmother before you. This is why you survived until now and why you will from now onwards and there is nothing to be ashamed of: clients like you are the reason the Hopkins tailors remained associated with the Phantomhive family for generations."

A smile slowly found its way to Lizzie's lips, one that mirrored Sieglinde's own, as they both took one of Nina's hands.

"You just need to believe in a new beginning, Lizzie," Sieglinde added. "And even if you need more than just one through life, I am sure it will always work out."

It will always work out…

Elizabeth thought about Ciel, about the one who died four years ago and the boy she loved, about Soma who lost Agni and about her family who had trusted her during these last few months. Truthfully, she was not sure of what 'working out' meant anymore: would everything still be the same, would everyone still wait for her if her new beginning was to take some distance?

Ciel… I could not save you, but I will try and save your brother instead. From the darkness that is already threatening to engulf him in. For that was what she had decided after he had died once more, leaving painful injuries in his wake and only time to heal them.

Slowly her hand went to rest above her chest, feeling and stroking the shape of a ring hanging from a simple chain around her neck, carefully nested against her skin. The ring was made of gold and a crystalline jewel: 'it is a reminder,' that man had said, 'a reminder that it is never too late if the time to act is now.'

So maybe, just maybe, her new beginning was simply the right time for her to prove that she finally deserved to be called a strong-willed woman of the Phantomhive family.

Make them proud, little Lady Lizzie.

Thanks for reading! Abrupt ending is shitty, buuuut I hope it was still slightly enjoyable anyway!

Also, the little part about the ring at the end is related to the fact I totally think Liz should team up with UT to try and save Ciel from Seb and this crack theory of mine:
post/168778244362/midnight-in-town-soooo-hitsugikuro-remember

Finally, I totally headcanon Nina has having a thing for ladies over gentlemen, not that there is anything wrong with that, but just in case it was not made clear enough in the story... ^_^

Leave a comment if you can, these are always helpful to improve!