Perfect World
A/N: This is my first attempt at songfic. It's a one - shot, how I imagined Chris' reaction to his mother's death would be. When I heard this song, this is what it made me think of. The song is Perfect World by Simple Plan.
I never could have seen this far
I never could have seen this coming
It seems like my world's falling apart
Why is everything so hard?
It started out as a normal day. None of us had thought anything could ruin it. There were no threats of demons. No threats of supernatural disaster. Everything was perfect. That's what we thought. And then the demons came. Hundreds of them. We fought them. Me, Wyatt, and mom. Even my little sister Patty helped fight. My siblings and I got only minor cuts and bruises. Mom wasn't so lucky. She died. Just like that. That's when everything changed.
Everyone is crying. We are devastated. Broken. The world without mom is terrible. I made the mistake of thinking dad would come to comfort us. I should have known better. He never comes. In his grief, Wyatt has become distant and cold. Aunt Phoebe and Aunt Paige can't seem to stop crying. We're living with grandpa now. His grief is beyond words. The worst is Patty. She doesn't understand. She keeps asking when mommy is coming back. I can't tell her never. It makes everything too real.
I don't think that I can deal
With the things you said
It just won't go away
I can't do it mom. It's to hard. I can't be strong like you said. Wyatt's changing. I'm afraid. And I can't forget the last thing you said to me. I want to, but I can't. It keeps replaying in my head. I want to be the person you said I am, mom. I think you might have been wrong.
You told me you were proud of me. You told me to try and be strong, for Patty. You said I have to keep on living. You wanted me to be happy. You said you'd always be with me. You said it's going to be alright. And then you breathed your last breath and died. And you were wrong. It's not alright.
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
I still long for the world of my childhood. The carefree days. There were no demons. No need for worry. The world was perfect. It really was. But it changed. It was too good to last. The demons started to come back, more vicious and terrible then before. Without evil there can be no good. But demons don't cry. When we vanquish them, they're families don't care.
The world isn't perfect anymore. My mother is dead. The power of three is broken. I wish the world was still perfect. Then you wouldn't be dead. You'd still be here with me. But it's not perfect. It's not even okay anymore. The world is hell. Because you're gone.
And it makes no sense
I can just pick up the pieces
But to you this means nothing
Nothing at all
I'm going to school again. I went back to soccer. Sometimes I even laugh. I've gone on living. But you're still gone. My life is the same again, but it's different. Because you're not here. I've gone on living. The way you told me to. But it's not the same life. It's not like it was. I talk to grandpa a lot. He's the only one I can talk to now. But he's not you.
Every time I laugh. Every time I smile. I feel guilty. You can't do these things anymore. You can't live. So why should I? I've thought about life a lot lately. About you. About the small time I spent with you. I'm only 14. I'm still a kid. You can't be gone. I can't handle it. Can you even hear me? Does any of this mean anything to you? Anything?
I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through
I wish that I could bring you back
I used to want to protect everyone. I used to think that I could take things on my own. But after that day. Nothing is the same. Nothing will ever be the same again. I can't live life without you. On the day that you died, the good in life died too. I wish you could be here now, to help, to comfort us. But if you were here, we wouldn't need comforting.
I tried to bring you back. I tried potions, spells, everything. Nothing worked. I even tried summoning you. I got Aunt Prue instead. She tried to talk to me, but I wouldn't listen. She said you weren't ready. She said seeing you would keep you alive in my mind. I didn't listen. I wouldn't. I couldn't.
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can't let go
I just can't find my way
Without you I just can't find my way
I tried a spell to go back. Back to that moment. It didn't work either. Nothing did. I can't let you go. I think of you always. I can't say you're dead. I don't want it to be real. Saying it makes it real. If only I could go back to that moment. Then maybe I could save you. Save us all.
I'm in the dark without you. I'm lost and I don't know where to turn. What happens now? Nothing's the way it's supposed to be anymore. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm always trying to do the right thing. But I don't know if it's right. I try to take care of Patty. I don't know if I'm doing a good job. She still thinks you're on vacation. Someday I'll tell her. I wish you were here.
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I can just pick up the pieces
But to you this means nothing
Nothing at all
Everything is wrong now. It's been four weeks since your death. I've finally told Patty you were dead. She cried for days and days. Demons are taking advantage. There's no power of three to stop them. We're managing the best we can. But you've left a hole. A hole that no one can fill. Wyatt's becoming colder and more distant. I don't know what to do anymore. He's changing, turning. You'd know what to do, what to say.
He told me to join him. There's no point of being good anymore he said. It's all about power, he told me, and the demons have the power. Then he had the nerve to bring you into this. He said, "Where does good get you? Dead, like mom". But I'm not joining him. I never will. You know why? Because I know that's not what you would have wanted.
Are you watching me? Do you know all this already? Aunt Prue says you watch all the time. Aunt Phoebe says you'll always be with me. I won't believe them. Not yet. Not until you come and tell me your self. Please come down from heaven. We all still need you. Screw those stupid elders. You never listened to them before. Don't leave us here. Can you hear me? We need you. We all do. Even dad. Are you listening?
You feel nothing
Nothing at all
You never will again. Because you're dead.