Summary: Julian contemplates his love for Logan.

The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'.

Dancing With Myself

Julian let himself fall in his bed, not bothering to shower, not even bothering to change. When he normally would've fallen asleep within seconds—he now found himself pathetically reduced to staring at the ceiling with wide, brown, listless eyes.

His thoughts were numerous, all-consuming, running rampant in his already overwhelmed mind. All were different, and all were screaming for attention—twirling around, trying to sneak up on him and steal a dance with his attention.

Many thoughts were about concerns he should think about. His new movie for example, the one he'd accepted mere weeks ago, and with that came skulking along—eternally walking hand in hand—always, always the lingering fear of his now progressively threatening stalker.

But there was just one thought he didn't want to think about and yet—there was nothing he could do to prevent his mind taking that resented turn, taking that wrathful, hurtful road. He couldn't say he really, really tried, though... because secretly he enjoyed it—despite the stabbing pain it caused. He actually liked to dance with that thought, to let it wander through his mind.

To memorize how shining green eyes looked into his brown ones today.

To remember his soft, determent voice, whispering in his ear in a conspiratorial tone.

To remind himself of the strong hand that had gripped his arm that afternoon, and how that had made butterflies leapup—all the way from his stomach to his heart...

Logan—always, always...Logan.

Julian curled up, his sheets getting tangled up around his legs, making his position uncomfortable yet exactly right. He let a sob escape, closing his warm brown eyes, his eyelids pushing the burning tears down his cheeks. His heart clenched painfully as they slowly crawled over his lips, leaving a stinging salty track behind. The betrayal tears... because wasn't it all for nothing anyway...?

Because however much he wished for those happenings to be personal—to be of any meaning at all—he very well knew they weren't.

Logan had just locked eyes to demand his attention.

Logan had just whispered absolute nonsense in his ear to annoy Derek, who'd been sitting at the table, chagrined for being left out of the conversation.

Logan had just touched his arm so he could tow him along to show him something Julian didn't even remember anymore.

Logan didn't look at the actor the way Julian looked at the singer. The tall blonde's heart didn't flutter the way Julian's did as he whispered soft words in his ear. And Logan's stomach didn't tighten that painfully when Julian touched his arm in such a casual manner.

Logan didn't know about any of these feelings.

And Logan didn't care.

Logan would never care.

Thanks for reading— I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.