Some nights, I stay up,

Cashing in my bad luck,

Some nights I call it a draw,

Some nights, I wish

That my lips could build a castle,

Some nights, I wish they'd

just fall off

-Some Nights; from fun.

Silence was something Tessa hated. While countless others would find comfort in it, she found it to be overwhelming and deafening. She couldn't stand the thought of there being even an ounce of silence near her. Because once the noise stops, then she's alone with her thoughts, her emotions. She's alone to remember and to think about everything that's occurred in her life. Tessa would have to relive what she wants to forget — and it's all because of silence.

Tessa's hatred for silence began a long time ago, when she was. . .younger. Whenever her father got upset, he'd either have two reactions: completely lose his temper or succumb to an icy silence. Tessa could never tell which he'd fall under; he was too unpredictable. While she did have to endure many anger-filled outbursts from her father, it had to be the icy silences that really got to her. It made her simmer in her emotions and blame herself for every little thing she did to anger her father, even if it wasn't technically her fault.

In the beginning, in those younger years of hers, whenever Tessa was thrown into an episode of quietness, she'd have a panic attack. The air would get knocked out of her and her head would start spinning. She'd start to sweat and nausea would rip through her stomach. Her heart would hammer painfully against her ribs while her eyes watered. Over time, however, Tessa learned to control herself. By expressing her obvious dislike and discomfort of silence would only further anger her father, which would only make things worse. So she would have to learn to keep her emotions in check. It was best for everyone that she did. By her fourteenth birthday, Tessa had all but mastered the ability of shutting herself down emotionally. If being absent in that regard was what she needed to get by, then so be it. She would rather preserve what she could than become a mess as a result. Besides, there are a lot of benefits to being emotionally withdrawn. For starters, her father had no idea of her plans to run away. Tessa didn't give any hint on what she was plotting, so her father had no idea. In a way, the teen would've enjoyed seeing the look on his face realizing she was gone, but at the same time, she was happy to be gone. God only knows what he would've done once he found out.

Unfortunately, however, being a teenage runaway typically means Tessa will be traveling by herself. So she'll have no companionship, no way of keeping herself silence-free. While a lot of the places are fairly noisy, providing excellent background noise, there's still that lingering quietness that just won't go away. And accompanying that little annoyance in Tessa's life are all the parts of her life she wanted to avoid. Memories, emotions, flashbacks to a time that seemed to never go away. Every little bit of her life could be classified as questionable, unnatural, unorthodox — but did it really matter in Tessa's mind? Yes and no. Yes because her life is a festering mess of everything that counts as questionable, unnatural, and unorthodox. But at the same time, the teen could care less about what other people think. She didn't have time to worry about them. She had herself to worry about. And God, did that take a lot of time and effort. Tessa would've given anything to have a life that wasn't so problematic. She would've done anything to just be regular; but her ass of a father couldn't even do that for her.

-0-0-0-0-

There are a lot of moments in Tessa's life that she's ashamed of. For starters, she is extremely ashamed of her heritage. For all she knew, Tessa and her father were the only ones who seemed to "stand out from the crowd," as she'd put it. While other people are worrying about all the little insignificant troubles in their lives, Tessa is worried about whether or not she'll be able to accurately shoot an ectoplasmic ray at a moving target. While most kids worry about fashion, technology, and school, Tessa worried about staying intangible for extended periods of time, flying and levitating, and creating duplicates of herself. Her father was very punctual when it came to practice. He didn't accept failure, so that meant doing extensive exercises on every bit of her abilities. It was frustrating, to say the least. But as Tessa gained more control, her father decided to do a little experimenting. That's when the shame started.

Another moment of shame in Tessa's life was her initial belief that she was insignificant. Her father liked to point out flaws and areas in his daughter's overall being that he found unfavorable. Because of that, Tessa believed that she her father didn't love or even tolerate her. It truly hurt her, and it only grew over time.

Those two little things, those little parts of Tessa that popped into her head almost daily, were part of a massive reserve of insecurities, shameful acts, and behaviors her father instilled in her. Which could serve as motivation to run away and begin a new life somewhere else. And where would that new life be exactly? Well, Tessa's still figuring that out. She's been to plenty of nice places in her travels, but they were never good enough. Even in a city as comfortable as Amity Park didn't quite meet her expectations. But things can change.*

Right?

-0-0-0-0-

Tessa felt her fingers tapping on the tabletop, she could faintly hear her fingernails softly clicking on the hardened surface. Her eyes, while seemingly scanning the area in front of her, held a blankness. Tessa's mind was somewhere else, and it had been that way for quite some time. She'd arrived in Amity Park only a few days prior, and she tried to keep herself as under-the-radar as possible. She didn't want too much attention drawn to herself, but she also knew she'd have to be willing to interact with other people in order to make it. And that was the difficult thing, because a lot of the time Tessa knew she could use her abilities to help her avoid any unwanted social interaction, but by doing that, using her powers to steal, she'd end up like her father, in a sense.

Letting out a sigh, Tessa took her hand and placed it on her lap. She was beginning to annoy herself. If she allowed her mind to wander back to her father, then she'd only bring herself down further. He was not a good man. Not at all. He put his own needs and desires before anyone else's. For Tessa, she had to witness, even experience, a lot of her father's unstable behaviors when it came to certain things.

Standing up, Tessa let out a huff as she adjusted her jacket, hoping to get herself as warm and comfortable as possible before going back outside. She had found a small café in the business district of Amity Park, and since it was the middle of fall and temperatures were dropping, something warm was needed. Tessa was lucky the café sold hot chocolate alongside their other caffeinated drinks. She wasn't a big fan of coffee, in any form, only because she thought it looked disgusting. She could tolerate the smell at the best of times, but that's about it.

I'll have to get back to the shelter soon, Tessa thought. Wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea.

Shelters were the one place the fourteen year old frequented whenever she came to a new town or city. Well, if her new temporary home had one, at least. There had been a small handful where shelters weren't available. In those situations, Tessa found herself improvising. Abandoned buildings; under bridges if the roads underneath had been left unused in a number of years. Sometimes even the compassionate people of those towns or cities would provide shelter for Tessa. She made sure to repay them in some way.

Once she felt comfortable enough to go outside, Tessa picked up her empty cup and threw it in the trash on the way out. She'd have to make the best of what she had in Amity Park. Giving off the appearance of normal was something she worked on daily, and she would continue working on it until she had it perfected. It was all she could really do.

(A/N):

Sorry for the delay on this chapter. I got a bit distracted, so that's why it took so long. But, hopefully you guys can at least tolerate this. Also, don't hesitate to give constructive criticism where you think it's due. I'd love to know what can be improved and what I'm doing well in.

Do I own anything in Danny Phantom? No. No I do not. All I own are my OCs, my subplots, and the socks on my feet. If you've got ideas for OCs or subplots, be sure to PM me or leave a review. I'll add them in as soon as possible.

Since 2018 is, or probably has for some of you, coming to an end, maybe you guys can drop a review of your favorite parts of the year. It doesn't have to be anything too specific, or you don't have to leave anything at all, just little bits and pieces you guys thoroughly enjoyed. If you want to, of course. So yeah.

Have a fun and safe New Year, my friends.

Thank you all so, so much.

Susannah Cruz