Insanity. That was perhaps the only way that Phoebe Reagan could adequately describe her family as whilst she adored them all, even more than raw cookie dough they were all still crazy. Well eccentric would probably be a more accurate description of her family… But how else could you explain why the topic of discussion over the dining table was about the fact that her brother Danny put a suspects head down a toilet to get him to confess to where he was keeping the little girl he had kidnapped? It wasn't the typical discussion that normal people had over Sunday dinner with their family. This particular stimulating conversation was one of the joys of coming from a very outspoken and opinionated Irish-American family who were knee deep in law enforcement. The Reagan family had a long history of serving the NYPD which went back three generations starting with Henry Reagan, Phoebe's grandfather who had joined the NYPD in 1952 and eventually worked his way up the ranks to become police commissioner. Next came Phoebe's father Frank Reagan, the current police commissioner who had followed in his father's footsteps and his sons would do the same. Phoebe's two elder brothers, Danny and Joe were cops, however Joe had died in the line of duty fifteen months ago. Now Jamie, Phoebe's younger brother had given up his law career and had entered the family business as the Reagan family often joked. Only Phoebe and her older sister Erin, didn't follow the family tradition of putting on the uniform but that didn't mean that they weren't Reagan's, they just served the city in different ways. Phoebe was a NYC medical examiner and Erin was an assistant district attorney who was also the ADA assigned to this kidnapping case and needless to say she wasn't happy about the toilet dunking incident. Danny's little coerced confession was causing Erin lot of problems which was threatening to wreck the entire case. It made Phoebe grateful that this wasn't her headache to deal with, her job mainly revolved around dead bodies and whilst it wasn't a job for the faint hearted it seemed to involve less stress on her part which couldn't be said for Erin. This Danny thing was causing Erin a heap load of problems.
"Your mom's riding on her high horse, huh?" Danny questioned as he appeared in the dining room and took a seat next to his wife Linda. No doubt catching the end of Erin and their grandpa disagreeing about Danny's methods. Phoebe knew well enough that this wasn't going to end well as Danny and Erin weren't going to back down. Both of them were stubborn old mules, stuck in their ways and because of that they tended to butt heads a lot. Danny was the kind of cop who would do whatever it took to get a collar, sometimes bending the rules such as putting a suspects head down the toilet. Whereas Erin was pretty straight laced and by the book lawyer but a damn good one at that. Phoebe had always looked up to her older sister growing up as Erin had been a damn good example of showing that hard word paid off.
"Don't make this about me. I'm not the one that slapped some guy around." Erin retorted and Phoebe kept her head down as she went about helping herself to food as she didn't want to be dragged into any of this. Phoebe had her own problems to deal with at the moment without getting pulled into tolietgate as she had taken to calling this whole situation. This wasn't going to die down any time soon and Phoebe was just going to focus on enjoying her Sunday dinner as best she could and try not to get sucked into this madness.
"What do you know about it?" Danny questioned, no doubt taking offence to Erin's statement.
"Dad stuck somebody's head in a toilet?" Sean, Danny's younger son attempted to question only to be shushed by his mother Linda. Right now wasn't the time to be asking question, it was best for everyone's sake that Erin and Danny could get this out of their systems now so they could get back to their family dinner.
"I know you're supposed to be enforcing the law, not making it up." Erin stated and Phoebe locked eyes with her grandfather Henry who just rolled his eyes. Just like Danny, Henry Reagan had been an old school police officer and had sometimes toed the line to do what was right. As such he tended to side with Danny when it came to such matters like this which irked Erin occasionally. Things like this were to be expected as the family business was often a subject discussed over Sunday lunch when they came back from mass. Normal families probably talked about other things but for Phoebe, this was normal for her. Although Phoebe couldn't freely discuss the finer details of her work because of her young nephews who didn't really understand the exact nature of her line of work. Plus some people tended to be put off their food by talk of dead bodies and performing autopsies. Not to mention Phoebe sometimes got so caught up in the gory details that Danny would comment that she was going to that dark and creepy place. It was a contradiction of some sorts as Phoebe was described by her father as being the most cheerful and optimistic person he knew despite being constantly surrounded by death.
"You have no idea what goes on. You only know what you think you know." Danny barked and Erin didn't flinch but Phoebe knew that the comment had stung slightly. She knew from private conversations with her elder sister, that sometimes Erin felt left out as she wasn't part of the Reagan cops. Like she was on the outside of some inside joke and Phoebe understood that as even though her work did involve working with the police. She wasn't a cop, Phoebe wasn't a Reagan cop. In her family it seemed to be some kind of brotherhood, even more so since Jamie had joined the ranks. So sometimes it was pretty lonely but Phoebe and Erin had each other. So things were a little less lonely.
"The laws are there for a reason."
"Yeah, to protect the criminals." Danny scoffed in response whilst Phoebe started to eat her dinner, her brother and sister could continue this argument all they liked but that didn't mean that she was going to let her dinner get cold.
"No, to protect society from a police state."
"Blah, blah, blah."
"Such a jerk."
"Hey, screw you, Erin."
"Screw you."
"Screw you."
The arguing continued until their father finally had enough and put his foot down. It looked like things had calmed down but before Phoebe knew it, half the family had gone leaving just Phoebe, Jamie, Frank and Henry at the table. No matter what the disagreement what was going on at the moment, Phoebe wasn't going to let it stop her from eating her dinner. There was nothing she loved better more than a roast dinner after Sunday mass. Things would work out eventually as despite the arguments and difference of opinions; they were a family. Everyone would be back round the table when things had settled down or when they got hungry. Whichever came first... Phoebe knew better than to get involved with her siblings problems as they tended to take on a life of their own at times, not to mention she had her own ones to deal with right now. Arguments like this always came and went because the Reagan's talked about pretty much everything and not everyone shared the same opinion. It was all part of the insanity that Phoebe called her family.
"You've kept pretty quiet down your end on the table Bee? What do you make of all of this?" Frank asked as he started passing out the beef and Phoebe couldn't help but smile at her old dad. It didn't matter that she wasn't a cop or a lawyer. She was a member of this family and her opinion mattered just as much as everyone else's. Phoebe took a baited breath and waited a moment before she spoke as she knew that her grandfather wasn't going to be the biggest fan of what she was going to say. But deep down she knew that even though her family wouldn't always agree with her opinions, they would always respect it.
"It's complicated. As a physician I understand what Danny did as it is vital that as a diabetic Maria gets her insulin. If it wasn't for what Danny did, I could have ended up with that child on my table. But whilst I say that, I also acknowledge that Danny did something incredibly stupid as now the kidnapper may walk because Danny stuck his head down the toilet to find out where the girl was. That puts the entire case at risk and if he walks because of Danny's actions, what is to stop him from going after another girl? She may not be so lucky. Danny is a good cop but I think he went too far, he needs to realise that his actions will be called into question when it comes to prosecutions. He needs to be mindful of that and Erin has a right to be annoyed as she has to deal with the fallout..." Phoebe revealed with a weak smile, before taking a sip of water.
"I've said this once and I'll say it again, Danny did the right thing-" Henry began.
"But at what cost Grandpa? And to what extent does Danny feel any responsibility? We all heard that comment he made to Erin about would she do the same thing if Nicky was taken and Danny has said he would do it again. I understand he saved a young girl's life but did he have to stick the perps head down the toilet? That was way too far and Danny needs to admit that. The law is something he is supposed to enforce, not make up as he see's fit because of a set of circumstances. It's there to protect us all and punish those who have committed criminal acts." Phoebe challenged to her grandfather and unlike her siblings, managed to keep her cool as she wasn't as big a hot head like Danny or Erin, similar to Jamie she was rather level head although she did have some of the Reagan temper but it didn't rear it's fiery head that often.
"I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one kiddo." Henry stated with a warm laugh and Phoebe couldn't help but agree. They were at an impasse and neither of them were going to change their opinion on the matter anytime soon, so it was probably best if they moved on.
"So Pheebs, I haven't seen you around much this week apart from the ceremony. How's work?" Jamie asked moving things along ever so slightly.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that Jamie? You are the one with the new job and all but things are good on my end. We may be receiving yet another budget cut but we still have a lot of guests and continue to receive them. There hasn't been any sort of out there case but just give it time. There are some crazy folks out there and a lot of the time they end up on my table. But otherwise things have been as hectic as always at the M.E's office, had about nine bodies this week. Speaking of which if you ever want to swing by the office to check out a D.B to prepare yourself so you don't freak out in the field then feel free to. I promise I won't tell anyone if you barf and I also promise that I won't pull out any organs from a DB's chest." Phoebe offered with a bright smile as she continued to eat her dinner. Unlike a lot of people, Phoebe was very comfortable with death and as such she could talk about performing an autopsy in graphic detail whilst eating food. Her dad used to make a comment about Phoebe having an iron stomach. However as of late, Phoebe's stomach hadn't exactly been it's usual iron self.
"Umm... Let me get back to you on that one Phoebe." Jamie replied clearly not keen on the idea and Phoebe opened her mouth to laugh but she was hit with this strong and sudden wave of nausea that she had to grip the table. This was the last thing that Phoebe needed at the moment especially in front of her entire family, not to mention she was extremely nothing as there was nothing in her stomach.
"Phoebe, you okay?" Frank questioned and it took Phoebe a moment before she finally felt comfortable enough to answer.
"Yeah I'm fine dad, just feeling a bit light headed so I think I'll head out and grab some air. If you'll excuse me..." Phoebe wearily replied as she slowly got up from her chair and made her way out of the dining room and out towards the back porch. Trying her hardest to walk in a straight line as not to make her family think anything was wrong with her, when in reality Phoebe's whole world had been turned upside down and then some in the last few days. Once she had got outside Phoebe took a deep breath before leaning down and placing her hands on her knees and continuing to take some more deep breaths. If she kept this up then maybe she wouldn't feel sick, maybe Phoebe would feel better and get through the rest of this dinner in one piece before making her excuses and heading back home. After a moment Phoebe finally felt better, to the point where she moved in order to sit down on the porch steps. She just needed a few minutes out here before she could go back inside.
"I though I'd find you out here, I always found out here to be a good place to think."
At the sound of her father's voice Phoebe couldn't but wearily laugh as there had never been a place to hide in this house and she glanced up in time to see her father take a seat beside her before handing Phoebe a glass of water.
"Thanks dad..."
"You were always a terrible liar as a child Phoebe and you haven't gotten any better since then." Frank announced with a wry smile on his face and Phoebe opened her mouth to argue but her father beat her to it. "I stopped by your office on Thursday, I thought I would treat my youngest daughter to lunch and imagine my surprise when your boss tells me that you've taken a week off work for personal reasons. I don't know what it is but something is going on with you."
"You've always known me better than anyone else dad. I can't hide anything from you." Phoebe wearily chuckled as she brushed a piece of her dark hair back behind her ear. She knew she was going to have to tell her dad before he figured it out for himself. Phoebe could only keep this to herself for a little while longer before it became obvious for the entire world to see. This was scary for Phoebe, her head was all over the place but maybe it would be good for her to talk to someone instead of keeping it all bottled up to herself and there was probably no one better to talk to than her dad. From a young age Phoebe had always known that she could talk to her father about anything, from running home to him in tears when she was sixteen and had her heart broken for the first time. There were days during med school where Phoebe didn't think she could cut it being a doctor but her dad was always there for her. Most of the time Frank Reagan knew what to say but when he didn't he at least managed to make Phoebe feel better.
"Bee what's wrong?"
"I'm pregnant dad, nine weeks to be in fact with a little Reagan in the oven." Phoebe quietly said but loud enough so that her father would be able to hear her. After the words had come out of her mouth Phoebe couldn't help but look at her hands as she wasn't sure how her dad would react to this news. Sure she wasn't sixteen and still in catholic school, Phoebe had just turned thirty one a few weeks ago and had a job and her own apartment. She was a grown up with her life pretty much in order, she was a responsible adult for the most part. But this was still pretty big news.
"How do you feel about this?" Frank asked after a moment and Phoebe looked over to her father, there was no outward expression of joy about having another grandchild as her father had picked up rather quickly how uneasy she felt about the whole thing. Phoebe didn't need to hear congratulations, she needed someone to talk to because right now she was struggling to deal with this life changing news. She had no idea how this had happened, well Phoebe knew how it happened of course as she was a doctor but she had no idea how things ended up like this. This was not how she imagined she would become a mom.
"Honestly dad? I feel terrified constantly. I've always been content in being an aunt, I love being an aunt to the Jack, Sean and Nicky, don't get me wrong I love children but I've never been in a real rush to settle down and add to the Reagan pack and then that damn stick said pregnant. I didn't trust the five pregnancy tests so I had a blood test and exam at my OB/GYN to confirm. I know I'm pregnant but apart of me is still in denial over the whole thing because the whole thing is surreal. Right in this moment I am growing a human inside of me, I'm going to be mom. I keep telling myself that and it doesn't get any less scary. I honestly don't know how I feel about this whole thing if I'm being honest. What the hell do I know about being a parent? Sure I can take care of a kid for a few hours but I don't know anything about raising a child? I'm clueless about that kind of stuff." Phoebe wearily said.
"What does Ian think of the baby?" Frank asked referring to Phoebe's on and off boyfriend of two years and the mere mention of him made her feel uneasy. Phoebe was pretty sure she could feel her blood pressure sky rocket at the mention of Ian's name and yet for some reason she laughed. God knows why but she laughed.
"That's the kicker dad, Ian left me when I told him I was pregnant. I always knew that he was slightly immature but he freaked out and bolted when I told him I was pregnant. From the few words that he managed to say, he was going on about how he wasn't ready and he couldn't be a dad. It just wasn't him. That was last Sunday when I came home from dinner and told him the news. Ian freaked and then bolted, which is why I took the week off work. I needed to pull myself together and wrap my head around all of this. Not only am I pregnant but my boyfriend is a bastard. He moved his things out of my place and that is it. I believed in him, I loved him... I was such a fool to think I could have a life with him, to have what you and mom had."
"You are not a fool Phoebe, if anyone is a fool then it is Ian. I know your scared Bee but I promise you that everything will be okay. You can do this, I know you can." Frank assured Phoebe with a gentle squeeze of her hand which made her smile. No matter her old she got, her dad always knew what the right thing was to say.
"It has to be okay dad because this isn't just about me anymore, I have a child to think about now. Ian may have walked out on us be I'm not going to run after him and demand that he takes responsibility for our child. This isn't the way that I imagined bringing a child into the world but I can't change anything of what's happened as it's in the past, I just need to focus on the future because as scary as it all seems, I'm going to have this baby. Despite my mixed feeling on the whole pregnancy thing, there was never really a second of doubt in my head about not having this baby. I'm just scared about the situation and trying to adjust to the fact that I'll be a single mother and I will be doing this by myself-"
"-You won't ever be by yourself, I don't want you to ever think that you will be raising that child your carrying by yourself Phoebe. Your family will be here every step of the way. Ian has made the biggest mistake of his life walking out on the two of you." Frank said and Phoebe smiled before leaning her head against her father's shoulder. She could always depend on her good old dad when things got tough. Phoebe felt a little bit better, her dad had told her what she needed to hear; that she wasn't alone like she thought. There might not be Ian in the picture but she had her family as insane as they were.
"Dad, can we keep this between ourselves for now? I will tell the rest of the family eventually but if I go back in there and tell them this then Danny will freak out when he finds out. No doubt he will hunt Ian down and stick his head down the toilet for abandoning me and Grandpa will be looking over his shoulder and telling him to keep Ian's head down the toilet for longer before bringing him up for air." Phoebe quipped finally seeing the humour and upside of Danny sticking a suspects head down the toilet.
"You got it Bumblebee but before we stop talking about this, I just want to say that you will be an amazing mother Phoebe." Frank assured in a warm manner as even though Phoebe was scared witless about being a parent she had her family. Her dad had raised five kids with her mother and so he knew a thing or two about raising Reagan children.
"I had good coaches."