A/N: So this is a continuation of my pieces about each of the days, from Sir Thursday's Tournament, Grim Tuesday's Navigator, and Mister Monday's Wii.
Superior Saturday was not a cruel person.
Of course, the various sorcerers encysted on her command in the Upper House, all of the Piper's Children, and most of the House would disagree, but in her mind she wasn't that cruel.
Which was why once she learned of Wednesday's plan to betray them, she had decided not to take immediate action. Rather, she formed a plan in order to get her to confess and change her plans.
Which was why she had invited all of the Days to a special place in the Border Sea, where she was holding a so called 'Confession Night' with the rules that anyone could confess to anything they wanted and escape from punishment. She assumed that this was going to be a quick and painless experience.
How very wrong she was.
And so, she walked in, the last one to reach the room they had prepared with the rest of the Days just generally goofing off.
"So," she said. "Who wants to start?"
Everyone kept silent, as she had expected, until Tuesday spoke up. Saturday was surprised to see what he had to confess to.
"Okay, see the thing is that I-I, I never really understood the ending of Death Note," Tuesday said. "I kept reading it over and over and it still didn't make any sense, and you were all talking about how great it was so I pretended that I understood it so you would all think I was cool."
The confession was so pointless and stupid that it stunned Saturday for an entire fifteen seconds.
"It's okay," Thursday said. "None of us thought you were cool in the first place."
Tuesday shot a venomous glare at Thursday.
Saturday was sure though that Wednesday would be the next person to speak up, but instead Monday raised his hand. She was actually surprised that he was even there; let alone the fact that he had bothered to raise his hand.
"Um, this is sort of hard for me to say," Monday said. "But I think I broke the First Key."
"What do you mean you broke it?" Wednesday asked. "A Key is an all-powerful object created by the creator of the universe and is indestructible. The Keys wouldn't be destroyed even if the entire House were. How did you break it?"
"I don't know," Monday said meekly. He took out the Minute Key and the Hour Key. "So I was just swinging the First Key around, you know, when it used to be a sword and then it broke into these two halves. I mean, it works but why did it break?"
Nobody really had an answer until Friday spoke up. This surprised everyone, since they all knew how Friday's mind was, and also because she had recently become obsessed with something called the fourth wall, which apparently she could see through, and also claimed to be able to tell the future. No one took her seriously though.
"Maybe it's your Key's special power," Friday said.
Monday just looked blankly at Friday as if saying "What?" was too much effort.
"You know," Friday said while waving her arms around. "All our Keys have something special about them. You know, like how Sunday's Key retains its full power in the Realms and is Sovereign over the other Keys and whatnot, Saturday's Key can also be used for House Sorcery and does things by writing them, my Key lets me do that teleportation thing with mirrors and lets me suck out souls, Thursday's Key can change into a sword that can kill almost anything it touches, Wednesday's Key also lets her walk on water and control fish flows, Tuesday's Key is better at wielding Nothing than the others. Monday's Key might be able to break into two then, maybe that's its special power."
This was almost useless though, as Mister Monday had fallen asleep halfway through.
"So, its special power is that it can break into two," Tuesday asked. "That is downright useless if you ask me. I mean, my Key was a pair of gloves before and they certainly can't combine into one."
"I don't think it is useless," Friday said. "I'm sure that Garth Nix will end up using it to move the plot along. I mean, can you imagine what would have happened if the First Key had been whole? I mean, all of Mister Monday would just be Monday handing over his Key and Arthur getting it, there would be no struggle or epic battle at the end."
She then fell asleep, and as usual no one had paid any attention to anything that she had said.
"Can we get this over with now?" Thursday asked. "I have important things to do."
Saturday couldn't end the meeting until Wednesday confessed, so she said, "Why? What is it that you have to do? Your demesne doesn't even do anything, they just go around playing soldier and holding odd gambling tournaments."
Sir Thursday reddened at the insult but didn't say anything. That is, until Tuesday spoke up.
"Don't you guys get it? All the Great Maze does is entertain the rest of the House," Grim Tuesday said. "So, in other words the Great Maze is the Disneyland of the House and Thursday is its Mickey Mouse."
Almost everyone snickered at that comment, and Tuesday almost fell off his chair laughing.
"What did you say?" Sir Thursday asked, fists clenched.
"I said that the Great Maze is like Disneyland, and you're the Mickey Mouse," Tuesday answered in-between chuckles. Thursday leaped at him, and it took them fifteen minutes to separate the two Days.
Of course, Sunday didn't do any of the work even though he could have subdued the two Days easily, and instead was reminiscing about how in his earlier days he had wanted to be Mickey Mouse when he grew up, but was proud at becoming something even better- himself.
And, to Saturday's chagrin, Monday had woken up and heard the words 'Mickey Mouse'. He immediately began singing the theme song to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, which was something that he had begun watching on his newly ordered television. In addition, he also watched Dragon Tales, Blues Clues, Teletubbies, and other shows also reserved for children which he found relaxing as he sank into his bed and began sleeping.
And, to make matters worse, all of the Days except Saturday had joined in with Monday in singing the theme song, and it was making her head hurt.
"It's the Mickey-Mouse, Club-house; Come inside, It's fun inside. It's the Mickey-Mouse, Club-house, Come inside, It's fun inside. M-I-C-K-E-Y, M-O-U-S-E (Friday shouted "That's me!" at this point, she had woken up for the song), M-I-C-K-E-Y, M-O-U-S-E, doo, doo, doo-doo-do-doo-"
Saturday knew that if this continued, they would all start dancing to the song. And the last time that had happened, it had taken three weeks for Saturday's eyes to heal, and an entire six months for her to recover psychologically from the ordeal.
"All of you keep quiet! I'm the head of this meeting, and I'm ordering you all to pipe down!" she said.
"You're not in charge," Sunday said. "I am, I am the most superior of all the denizens here. That's why of course, I only sign off my notes with a single S and keep my messages short."
At that moment, all of the Days except Sunday said, "Oh! So that's what that's about," together.
"What?" Sunday asked.
"We thought that you only signed off with S because you know, you never went to school and we just sort of assumed you were functionally illiterate and couldn't spell your entire name," Wednesday said. "And that's why you wrote short messages, because it took so much effort for you to write them."
Normally Sunday would have shouted, but the thing was that the whole thing was so unexpected he didn't have a retort.
Saturday was getting impatient. This was only supposed to take around ten minutes tops, and she had stuff to do.
"Is there anyone else with anything else to say? I have to get this over with so I can pick out a costume for the Millennial Halloween House Party," she said.
Of course, the Morrow Days enjoyed doing things mortals did, but because they pretty much copied all the holidays from most mortal civilizations on Earth and several other planets, they spread out all the holidays of a year over a millennium so they wouldn't be celebrating every day.
"I'm actually considering canceling that now," Lord Sunday said now that he had regained control over his voice.
"Why? Because you want everyone to forget that you went dressed up as Princess Leia that time?" Thursday asked.
Everyone except Sunday chuckled as they remembered that particular incident. Including Saturday as well, whenever she felt like Sunday was being to troublesome, she just remembered that particular incident.
"Here's another one," Friday said. "Do you know what you should dress up as, Saturday?"
"What?" Saturday asked.
"As a disappointment to the readers and the fandom," Friday answered. "That way you don't even need a costume."
She started laughing but everyone just looked at her oddly.
"Come on," Friday said. "You know, because it seemed like she would be such an awesome villain but ended up doing nothing and her book was shorter than all the others and a general disappointment, so she doesn't need a costume because she already is a disappointment to the readers. Come one, that was good, and this is when one of you is supposed to say, 'Sweet burn Friday!' and then give me a high-five."
Nobody understood anything of what Friday said, as usual.
"You know," Sunday said. "I've never really ever been to Disneyland. We should go there sometime."
"Stop foreshadowing a future fanfic," Friday said.
"So anyway," Saturday said. "Is there anyone who really wants to confess to something?"
Nobody spoke up, so she guessed that she just had to say it herself.
"Okay," Saturday said. "The real reason for this meeting is because I found out that Wednesday is going to betray us and free the Will. We have to do something."
All of the other Days gasped except Friday who said, "How did you all just know that now? I saw it in a vision and posted it on my Twitter feed, you know, #PlotSpoilers."
Of course, no one paid any attention to Friday, and no one subscribed to her Twitter feed anyway.
"Okay," Saturday said. "What we need to do is use all of our Keys against Wednesday and revoke her powers."
"Whoa whoa whoa whoa," Friday said. "So you're trying to tell me that we can get away with doing that, even going against the Treaty and stuff?"
"Yes," Saturday said.
"Well then why didn't we do that when Arthur claimed the First Key and save the House?" Friday asked. "I mean, it isn't like we're going to get any worse thanks to our flaws so we could've just stopped him right then and there. And come to think of that, when the First Part of the Will was going to help Arthur fight Monday, it said that the Nothing from the Bibliophages would dissolve it so it couldn't go any further. So why don't we just dip the first part of the Will in Nothing since apparently it can be destroyed by it, and then the Will can't choose a Rightful Heir and so we essentially win."
This was probably the thing that made the most sense that had ever been spoken at a Morrow Day meeting, but no one paid attention to Friday, once again. At least, no one except Monday, who woke up for a second.
"It doesn't make sense to me either," Monday said.
"You see stuff too?" Friday asked.
"Yes, sometimes when I sleep," Monday said. "I can't possibly believe that Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds is going to end unsatisfactorily, or that there are going to be over seven hundred Pokemon one day, I mean I haven't even caught the original 151 yet, as well as some other insignificant things such as the destruction of the House and the fact that my Dusk is going to betray me."
"But if you know all of that, why don't you change it?" Friday asked.
"I would, but it seems like waaay too much effort," Monday said. He then fell back to sleep. Friday realized that maybe Monday was right. Sure, she could go and try to change the future herself, or she could go on a binge experiencing trip, and then stay at her house and watch episodes of Cardfight! Vanguard, Shakugan no Shana, and watch the Twilight saga again. She chose the latter option. Apparently the gift of sight was only given to those Denizens who couldn't bother doing anything to do something about them.
But while Monday and Friday were having that private chit-chat, Saturday was calculating. They were in Wednesday's domain, so they needed around two Keys to rival hers, and three Keys to overpower her completely. But, it looked like Monday was sleeping, Sunday was probably going to do nothing (she really only needed his help to take down Wednesday), Friday looked like she was ready to zone out, and Tuesday and Thursday looked like they wanted to fight each other, not Wednesday.
She couldn't win one-on-one, so she had to do something.
"Wednesday said that Star Wars sucks," Saturday said. This got Sunday to react, and so everyone (except Monday) was forced to use their Keys against Wednesday.
"You fools," Wednesday said. "Now I'm going to turn my true shape."
And then she transformed into a whale right over them, and they could only watch in horror as it grew towards them. She wasn't at her full size yet, but still big enough to crush them.
"We're going to get crushed by a giant sea monster, and with no where to run," Thursday said. "This is just like the end of Pirates of the Caribbean: 2."
"Where you filled with a sense that you had just wasted around two hours on something stupid only to have it end badly?" Saturday asked.
"Pretty much," Thursday said.
"Then this really is like the end of Pirates of the Caribbean: 2," Saturday said as a giant whale fell on top of them.
A/N: And that's the way that it ends. Sorry if you were psychologically damaged by imagining the Morrow Days dancing to the theme song of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, you can also read about the time that Monday and Tuesday hid a whoopee cushion under Saturday's seat once. Happy now?