Nine Teenagers Rampage New York
otherwise titled,
The Poor, Poor Men in White Coats...
by Ami the Queen of the Evil Flying Monkeys
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Oh stupid me I almost forgot about the disclaimer! Oops! Anyway, New York owns itself, the talented JK Rowling owns Harry, Hermione, Ron and company. MTV belongs to whoever owns it. Carson Daly owns himself. Britney ::shudder:: Spears belongs to Satan (or herself, whichever way you want to put it). Ummm...the Mental institution owns itself. None of NY was harmed during the making of this fic, just many of my innocent little brain cells. Oh and if you like Britney Spears do NOT read this, I will ignore any flames I recieve about her because I simply do not like her or her music and I am entitled to my opinion, thank you very much. Oh and just to clear up my name for the MILLIONTH time this week, my name did NOT come from Pigwidgeon's wonderful fic, it came from the Wizard of Oz, where the monkeys originally came from. For a better explaination, write to me, k? Later!
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"Woohoo!!" Hermione cried, skipping around the Gryffindor girls' dormitory giddily, much to the disapproval of her groaning roommates.
"What's gotten into you?" Parvati asked rather grumpily, not happy at being awakened from her beauty rest at 6:00 am on a Saturday.
"Oh, nothing." Hermione said mysteriously, continuing to skip around the room.
"Herm, shut up!" Lavendar moaned, throwing a stuffed bunny at Hermione's head. Hermione giggled as the bunny whizzed by her ear, and she bounced out the door.
"HARRY, RON!" Hermione called sweetly, pounding loudly on the fifth-year boys' dormitory.
"Shut yer hole, I'm coming." a very grumpy, sleepy Seamus Finnigan flung open the door, still wearing his striped pajamas.
"Hey Weasley, your girlfriend's here." Seamus grumbled, falling backward onto a bed, so sleepy he didn't even realize that Hermione wasn't supposed to be in a boys' dormitory. Ron grumbled in his sleep, sat up, and blushed as red as his flaming hair, pulling the covers up over his neck. Apparently Ron slept wearing no pajama top. A loud squeak came from underneath the covers Seamus had flopped across.
"Sorry, Neville." Seamus mumbled, stumbling back to his own bed. Hermione sat down on the end of Harry's bed, next to Ron, still shaking with silent laughter at his scarlet face and trying to peep under his covers, despite his desperate attempts to cover himself. Hermione finally allowed the giggles to emerge as she sat, watching Ron grab for his shirt and try to put it on inconspicuously under his covers.
"Stop laughing, it's harder than it looks." Ron whispered, the tips of his ears turning bright pink. Hermione shook the bed with laughter, arousing Harry from his slumber.
"Whazzat? Hermione?!" Harry said sleepily, groping about for his glasses and looking quite surprised to see his best friend sitting on his bed. He looked over at Ron's red face, and Hermione's still-laughing appearance, and understood immediately.
"She caught you sleeping, didn't she?" Harry laughed, causing Ron to nod sheepishly as he pushed his arms into his shirt sleeves.
"Guess what?! I have a letter! I have a letter!!" Hermione said giddily, acting as un-Hermione like as possible and brandishing an envelope around and grinning widely.
"Bully for you, why'd you have to wake me up at 6:00 am for a damn letter?" Ron grumbled, his face slowly returning to its normal color.
"Not just ANY damn letter, THIS damn letter!" Hermione said, thrusting it into Harry's hand. Harry opened the envelope and read aloud.
iDear Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco (I'm sending a copy of this to him too),
Hello all! Bunny and I have been planning to visit some of Bunny's relatives in New York City this weekend and we were wondering, would you like to come? Eliza is coming too, but she'll probably show up with her caravan of hunks (lucky dog, not sharing the wealth with her best friends, don't worry Harry and Draco though, we only look, not touch). Please don't let Fred and George see this or hear about Eliza's hunks, they might get jealous and things could get very ugly very quickly. Please send Pigwidgeon (Bunny likes him a lot because he is as psycho as her and Fuzzo, and they also have one major thing in common, they both never shut up!), Hedwig, or Fuzzo back with your reply as soon as possible. We will come to get you at 9:00 am sharp if we don't receive a reply telling us not to. See you then!
Love from,
Ami, Bunny, and Eliza
PS from Ami- Don't worry about Muggle clothes, we'll supply them. Don't be late! We'll be waiting for you! Love ya! /i
Harry looked up from the letter and smiled. "It's about time we got another vacation. With those three around this should be worth the trouble we'll be in if we're caught." Harry said, still grinning.
"You got me up for this?! Thanks, let's go!" Ron said, wearing a grin identical to Harry's and jumping out of bed, only to jump back in a few seconds later. Hermione and Harry laughed as they watched a very red-faced Ron grab for his pants.
After Ron had put on his pants, and Harry had combed his hair and put on clean robes, they hurried down the stairs into the entrance hall. Hermione ducked into the Great Hall and emerged carrying a large brown paper sack. Carrying their bundles of money and breakfast, they walked out into the cool, pre-dawn morning. It was a beautiful Saturday morning, and all was serene and perfectly peaceful, until the calvary arrived, at least. Harry, Ron, and Hermione watched the sun rise over the lake as they walked down to the Quidditch field, where they assumed Ami and Bunny would appear. Although Ami and Bunny were aiming for the Gryffindor common room, their aim was much less than perfect, as they had only started transporting themselves a few weeks earlier, and there was no telling where they might pop up.
"This looks like a nice spot." Hermione said, sitting down on the dewy grass and opening the bulging paper sack. Hermione had just started pulling blueberry muffins out of the sack when they heard two very feminine screams and a loud splash down by the lake. Hermione, Ron, and Harry gave each other knowing looks, and dashed down to the lakeshore, Hermione grabbing the bag of muffins and chasing the boys.
"AAAAAGGGHH AMI WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU WAKE ME UP THIS EARLY?!" a very familiar, cranky voice echoed across the once-quiet British hills. Harry, Ron, and Hermione halted, watching as two sopping-wet witches pulled pond weed off their robes and squeezing water out of them. The short, brown-haired one toted a large, bulging blue backpack, and the sleepy blonde was screaming at her. The brunette yawned and smiled.
"Draco, remember? We have to have time to sneak up to the Slytherin dorms and get him, and go see Harry, don't we?" Ami said slyly, shutting the blonde up immediately. Harry felt his ears turn pink as he heard Ron snickering audibly beside him. They both lifted their soaked heads and noticed three recognizable shadows a short distance away. Ami immediately recognized the messy-haired one, and ran up to him as quickly as she could, her water-heavy robes weighing her down and her shoes squishing in her steps and leaving puddles here and there.
"Harry!" she cried happily, throwing herself at him. Harry looked happy to see her, even though she smelled slightly of seaweed, but when they released the front of his robes were as soaked as hers.
"Sorry." Ami said meekly, blushing. "It's okay, though. We have to put on Muggle clothes anyway before we go to New York. Here." Ami said, handing them the bag crammed with assorted Muggle clothes, which was miraculously dry even after their early-morning swim in the lake.
"Do you think this will look good on me?" Ron said, holding up a black skirt and modeling it, much to everyone's amusement.
"That's for me, you twit." Hermione laughed, snatching the skirt away from Ron, who continued to strut.
"Damn, oh well, it'd make my hips look fat anyway." Ron said in a high voice, batting his eyelashes.
"Don't look in the!!!" Bunny said, watching as Ron commenced digging though the bag. They watched in horror as Ron pulled out a piece of feminine underwear. He dropped it as if it were a live snake, and Harry and Ron stepped a few paces backward.
"Oh for God's sake, it's just underwear. It's no worse than Ron's boxers." Ami said, stepping forward and grabbing the underwear, tucking it back into the bag. Ron blushed, and looked sheepish.
"How did you know about that?"
"Hermione told us." Ami said, sending the girls into fits of giggles. Ron blushed deeper, and Harry gave him a sympathetic glance out of the corner of his eye.
After Ami, Bunny, and Harry had put on dry clothes, and Ron and Hermione traded their Hogwarts robes for Muggle clothes, Bunny dashed off to get Draco, carrying some clothes with her. She returned a few moments later, dragging Draco behind her. Draco yawned and shifted uncomfortably in his blue jeans.
"How do Muggles manage with these things?" Draco wondered aloud, looking down at his shirt and jeans uncomfortably.
"Deal with it, Draco. C'mon." Bunny said, grabbing Draco's wrist once more and leading the way back down to the Quidditch field. Ami took Harry's hand in hers, and Bunny did the same to Draco.
"Form a circle, and join hands." Ami ordered, grabbing Bunny's free hand. Everyone did as they were told, and formed a tight circle. Ami and Bunny closed their eyes and began to chant something under their breath. A sudden breeze came, ruffling Bunny and Ami's hair as the others watched in amazement. Ami and Bunny's chants became louder and faster as the wind picked up, growing stronger by the second. Harry looked up and saw a swirling, dark whirlpool spinning just above his head. As he looked into the murky depths, he wondered how Ami, Bunny, and Eliza could travel this way so easily and unafraid.
"Ami, do you know what you're doing?!" Ron called, his voice never reaching her ears, it was sucked into the roar of the winds. Suddenly, Ami's eyes popped open as Bunny continued the chant, chanting louder to make up for her friend's absence.
"JUMP!" Ami screamed at the top of her lungs, but it was barely a whisper to Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They jumped unanimously, and they instantly felt as if they were being sucked into a furious windtunnel. Harry felt his glasses sliding off the bridge of his nose, but by some miracle, they remained on his face. With a loud "whump", they landed in the middle of a grassy park. Ron sat up, rubbing his bottom tenderly.
"Hey Ami, do you think you can soften the landing a bit next time?" Ron asked, squinting his eyes against the harsh September sun.
"I TOLD you, I'm working on it! It's better than landing in a lake with a giant squid, isn't it? Or maybe if you want we could arrange that for the journey back, is that what you want?" Ami said, a hint of amusement in her voice. Ron shook his head, and everyone laughed. They all got up slowly, rubbing their eyes and other assorted body parts which they had landed on.
"Witches and wizards, welcome to New York, New York!" Bunny said, gesturing Vanna White-style at the huge, forbidding skyline surrounding them. Their eyes went wide as they stared at the virtual wall of sky scrapers surrounding them on every side.
"Oooh where will we go first?!" Bunny said, bouncing around happily like the demented weasel she is. (A/N-She isn't always like that, just 99.9999999% of the time.)
"Where can we go?" Harry asked, looking around confusedly.
"Oh we could go to MTVtheTwinTowersormaybetheStatueofLibertyorShayStadiumormaybe..." Bunny said in one breath, before being interrupted by Ami.
"Let's go to MTV! I wanna meet Carson Daly!! He is soooo cute!" Ami bubbled, getting almost as hyper as Bunny, though neither of them had had any sort of caffeine or sugar that morning whatsoever.
"I thought I was the cute one." Harry said, hurt, looking at Ami.
"Oh, not that way sweetie, you're the real cutie here." Ami said, pinching Harry's cheeks gently, teasing him.
"Okay I think MTV is thataway." Bunny said, now becoming the official NY tour guide, since none of the others had any clue as to where they were.
"Oooh Italian Ices!!" Bunny shrieked, noticing a vendor nearby. Bunny ran over and ordered seven orders, and came back with her arms full. Harry, Hermione, Draco and Ron reached for an ice each, but Bunny bared her teeth and growled at them.
"Hey those are ours!" Hermione said, looking at Bunny strangely.
"No, those are hers. And I'll bet you anything she goes back for seconds and thirds. I'll go get ours." Ami sighed, giggling at Bunny as she scarfed down all seven ices in one gulp.
"AAAAAGHH!! ICE CREAM HEADACHE!!" Bunny screamed, holding her head painfully.
"How many times do I have to tell you, DON'T EAT LIKE SUCH A PIG AND YOU WON'T GET HEADACHES!" Ami screamed, taking the orders of ice from the vendor and paying him. Ami distributed the ices as Bunny screamed in pain and went back for more.
"Nummy good!" Bunny said, gulping more ices and repeating her ice cream headache-panic attack. After watching her turn around to go back for more ices, Ami grabbed the back of her shirt and whacked her in the head.
"C'mon, we have to find Carson!" Ami said, turning Bunny around and pushing her away from the stand. Bunny whined for about five minutes, then Draco hugged her and all was well again.
"Um, Bunny? Do you think you could separate yourself from Draco's chest long enough to see where you're going?" Ami asked, after watching Bunny run into a lightpost for the fifth time as she attempted to walk down the street backwards. Draco blushed, and pushed Bunny away from him slightly. Bunny turned around and stuck her tongue out at Ami.
"Very mature." a voice came from behind the group, and they all turned to look at who was speaking to them. A crowd of hunks dressed in identical pinstriped business suits trooped along like an army of well-trained ants. Their hands were all in the air, supporting a blonde-haired girl.
"Damn you Eliza, why do you get all the good entrances?!" Bunny retorted. Eliza smiled coyly, then rolled over the side of the hunk-wall, being caught by on of the hunks. He set her down gently after she ordered him to do so, and the crowd of hunks trooped off after she waved them off.
"Why don't you ever invite us when you have them around?!" Bunny shrieked at Eliza, who was still grinning.
"They're MINE, do you hear me? MINE!" Eliza replied, falling into step with the others.
"HELLO, WE'RE GOING TO FIND CARSON, AREN'T WE?!" Ami demanded, stopping Eliza and Bunny's bickering instantly.
"You sure are hung up on this guy, aren't you?" Harry said, raising his eyebrows.
"So is every other teenage girl in America, Harry. Don't worry, he has nothing next to you." Ami said, snuggling back into Harry's side. Bunny did the same with Draco, and Hermione with Ron. Eliza looked hurt, then angry.
"Hey, when do I get a turn?!" Eliza demanded, looking around at the snuggle-fest occurring around her.
"I'M NOT SHARING!" Bunny shouted, her voice muffled by Draco's shoulder.
"Neither am I." Ami and Hermione added, causing Ron and Harry to blush identical shades of red.
"Well what am I going to do?" Eliza demanded.
"Go snuggle with a lightpole, we're busy." Bunny retorted, snuggling with Draco even more. Eliza looked highly offended, and stormed ahead.
"Wait a minute, Eliza. Sorry Harry." Ami called, pulling herself away from Harry's grip. Harry looked disappointed, but let her go.
"Weasley twins, masters of trouble, get your butts down here on the double!" Ami said, waving her wand and performing a simple rhyming transportation charm. The Weasley twins fell out of the sky and landed on Ron. Hermione looked highly ticked as she shoved them off Ron and continued snuggling, though Ron's nose was bleeding and his hands were scraped.
"Commence snuggling!" Ami announced, and they went back to their snuggle-fest. The small, snuggling group walked down the street as one, collecting strange looks as they went.
"Get a room!" one passerby called. He was startled when he heard a reply.
"Good idea, I think we will!" Bunny called back, causing Draco to go from the pale pink blush he had worn since Bunny attached herself to him, to deep scarlet.
"Kids today...hormones running amok." they heard snatches of conversations as they walked, and they eventually reached Times Square. They descended into a crowd of screaming teenagers, and fought their way to the front.
"Hey, you!" a buff-looking security guard called, waving them over.
"You wanna meet Carson Daly and his guest VJ?" the guard asked. Ami looked as if she would pass out at any second.
"OH MY GOD YES YES YES!!!" Ami shrieked excitedly, dashing into the building before the guard could catch her. Harry ran after his girlfriend's excited shrieks, and Draco, Hermione, Bunny, Eliza, and the Weasley twins followed. The bouncer-guy stopped Ron before he reached the door.
"Hey buddy, you don't look cool enough to enter here." the guard said, looking over Ron critically.
"What do you mean? I'm as cool as anyone here." Ron argued, trying to look like Bill did when he was trying to sneak into a rock concert when he was younger, which Ron had accidentally-on-purpose followed him to.
"OHMYGODOHMYGOD IT'S HIM!!! IT'S REALLY HIM!!" Ami screamed, running across the stage where TRL was already occurring, and hugging Carson Daly happily. Harry followed her and tried to pry her off Carson.
"She doesn't look THAT happy when I come in a room." Harry thought to himself jealously. "Hey that's my girlfriend!" Harry said defensively as he watched Carson laugh at Ami as she hugged him.
"Oh so you're with this nut?!" Carson said, still laughing.
"NUT?! I'LL NUT YOU, YOU STUPID PRAT!!" Ami screamed, pushing Carson through the window and down three stories into a mosh-pit of screaming fans, where he was ripped to shreds for souvenirs.
"I thought you liked him?!" Harry asked incredulously, watching Ami do a victory dance.
"Naah, he just put Slim Shady on the top of the charts for a few weeks, so I have to like him." Ami said, grabbing Harry and dancing in front of the cameras.
"Woohoo this is GREAT!" Bunny screamed, grabbing Draco and dancing with him next to Ami and Harry.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT COOL, YOU UGLY OLD GIT?!" Ron demanded, still trying to get by the bouncers. The bouncers laughed at him. Suddenly, a hand popped out of the door and grabbed Ron. Ron was pulled through the doorway so quickly even the bouncers couldn't stop him.
"C'mon I need another male dancer anyway." a screechy female voice whispered, dragging him down the hallway and into a dressing room.
Hermione, Draco, Harry, Ami, Eliza, the Weasleys and Bunny were in the middle of their dance-fest when they noticed something wrong.
"Where they hell's he gone to now? If he's out pimping again I'll..." Hermione said, looking around for her redhead.
"Oh he's not or my buffness will kick his ass." Bunny said, flexing her muscles as she danced.
"ARE YOU READY TO PARTY?!" a horrible screechy female voice echoed through the studio.
"AAAAAAGHH NOT HER!!" Eliza, Bunny and Ami screamed, covering their ears in pain.
"Who is it?!" Harry screamed, covering his ears as well.
"Don't make us say the name, please don't make us say the name!!" Eliza, Bunny and Ami cried simultaneously.
"Who is it already?!" Hermione demanded.
"BRITNEY SPEARS!! AAAAGGGHHH!!" they replied, watching in horror as a trashy looking blonde stepped out onto the stage and started singing and dancing.
"MAKE IT STOP, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!" everyone cried helplessly. Hermione's eyes bugged out as she looked over the dancers.
"RON?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!!" Hermione shrieked, noticing Ron in the back.
"SHE'S MAKING ME! I'M STUCK HERE! HELP ME, I'M AS SCARED AS YOU!!" Ron screamed in terror, making obscene dance moves, following Britney's every move.
"TO YOUR WANDS, IF YOU EVER WANT TO LISTEN TO DECENT MUSIC AGAIN!" Ami cried, forcing her hands away from her ears and grabbing her wand.
"Petrificus Totalus!" Ami screamed, sending a jolt of yellow light at the giant rampaging plastic thing. Britney's legs sprang together, and she fell on her face, stiff as a board.
"Woohoo! The Full-body bind saved us again!" Bunny cried, hugging Ami.
"How did you stand that terrible singing?" Ron asked, recovering from his trance and rushing down to his friends.
"I don't know, I just knew I had to do it to save you guys." Ami said, hugging Harry, Eliza, Bunny, Hermione, Ron, and the Weasley twins.
"Now what're we going to do with it?" Ron said, kicking the now-stiff Britney.
"I dunno, any ideas?" Ami asked, looking down at the thing at their feet.
"Let's throw her out the window!!" Bunny said, picking up Britney after putting on rubber gloves. "Can't be too careful with plastic like her." Bunny warned, throwing Britney out the broken window into the waiting crowd, which ripped her to shreds just like Carson.
"We've saved the world, now what're we going to do?" Harry said, turning from the window to look at the others.
"LET'S EAT!" Bunny cried, waving down a pizza vendor who had miraculously gotten past the bouncers quicker than Ron had.
"Ummm Mew Ork pizza is whe whest!!" Bunny said through a mouthful of pizza.
"Ooh Ron I love your pants." Ami commented, ginning at him teasingly, just noticing Ron's unusual outfit. Ron blushed and looked down at his leather pants.
"She made me wear them, I think my other clothes are still in the dressing room." Ron said, grinning sheepishly at everyone's grinning faces.
"Wait, keep the pants, I kind of like them." Hermione called after him, making him blush even more.
After Bunny had eaten all of the pizza-man's pizza, they headed outside.
"Where next?" Eliza asked, standing between the Weasley twins.
"Ooooh lookie a parade!!" Bunny shrieked, running off to the next streetcorner, dragging Draco with her. The others ran to catch up to her, and stood on the streetcorner, watching the huge floats go by.
"Oooh it's the Macy's day parade!" Ami squealed with delight.
"Why are they having it in September though?" Eliza asked, staring at a giant replica of Snoopy as it floated past.
"I dunno, but tis majorly cool!" Bunny said. Ami and Bunny ran out into the parade before the others could stop them, and instantly found their favorite balloons. "Excuse me Mr.Ballooney-man-lady-sir? Can I see your ballooney for a minute?" Bunny asked, staring up at the frightened balloon-holder with a scary grin on her face. The balloon-holder wasn't used to dealing with insane people, so he handed over his string.
"Woohooheehehe!!" Bunny shrieked, running around and pushing over the other balloon-holders. Ami did the same to the people holding a large blue kitty, and the balloon was much bigger than her, so...
"Hey what're they doing? Aren't the balloons supposed to stay on the ground?" Hermione said, pointing to a large blue cat balloon and a pink bunny that were flying up, up, and away.
"WEEEHHEEEEEWOOHOOOYIPPPEEEEEE!!!" two familiar voices laughed loudly.
"Oh my god!! OH MY GOD THAT'S AMI AND BUNNY!!" Eliza panicked, watching as the two balloons floated higher into the air, carrying away Ami and Bunny, who were still giggling like idiots.
"How are we going to get them down?" Draco asked, running along underneath Bunny's balloon.
"HI DRACO-MAKO!!" Bunny said, taking one hand off the string she was dangling by to wave to him.
"DON'T WAVE TO US!!" Eliza screamed, panicking even more than before.
"WEEEHHEEEEHEHEEEHOOOHOOOWOO! HEY YOU GUYS SHOULD TRY THIS SOMETIME, IT'S REALLY FUN!!" Ami screamed back, swinging from her balloon like Tarzan. "AAIEEEEEEAAAGH!! IT'S ME, AMI OF THE JUNGLE!!" Ami shouted, letting go of the string and swinging only by her legs. Harry almost went into cardiac arrest as he ran around, trying to catch her if she fell. Hermione, finally thinking of something, pulled out her wand and screeched,
"Accio Firebolt!" Amazingly, Harry's Firebolt flew all the way from England and came directly to Hermione's hand.
"Here, go get them!" Hermione shouted, thrusting the broomstick at Harry. Harry straddled the broom and took off like a rocket.
"AMI GET ON THE BROOM!!" Harry yelled, watching her swing from the string and giggle even more.
"WHEEE this is soooo fun!! C'mon Harry!!" Ami said, swinging.
"NO, GET ON, NOW!" Harry ordered, grabbing her hand.
"Can we bring Mr.Kitty with us?" Ami pouted, looking up at the giant balloon above her.
"NO! C'MON, WE HAVE TO GET BUNNY!" Harry replied, pulling Ami onto the broomstick behind him, and taking off for the floating bunny. Ami wrapped her arms around Harry's waist and snuggled up against his back.
"Oooh me likes this, almost better than the ballooney.." Ami said contentedly as they pulled up next to the bunny.
"BUNNY GET ON!!" Harry ordered, watching Bunny laugh insanely and dangle from the string.
"NO ME LIKES IT HERE! I'M GOING TO JAPAN!!" Bunny shrieked happily.
"NO YOU'RE NOT! C'MERE!" Harry called, grabbing Bunny and pulling her on the Firebolt behind Ami. Bunny whined for her balloon as they soared gracefully back down to the ground below. Ami and Bunny dissolved into giggles as soon as their feet hit solid ground again. Eliza took them both by the shoulders and shook them furiously.
"DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!" Eliza bellowed.
"Okee-dokee. Where do you want to go next?" Ami answered, regaining her sanity momentarily.
"I wonder where Mr.Bunny's going?" Bunny wondered aloud, watching the huge pink bunny disappear into the distance.
"Ummm, where can we go?" Harry pondered.
"I KNOW!! C'MON!" Ami shrieked, grabbing Harry's wrist and dragging him down the street.
"Ami, do you know where you're going?" Ron asked as they circled the same block for the third time.
"Yes now just clam up and follow me." Ami ordered, ducking down a staircase and into a bustling crowd.
"Wow, the subway!" Hermione said, watching all the New Yorkers milling around them. Ami paid their way through the spinny-gate-thingy and they had to tear Bunny away from it since she kept spinning through it and was annoying the operator lady. Ami drug Harry and the others into a train and the doors slammed shut behind them.
"Hey Vito, lookie what we got here. A bunch of little rich kids. Hey kids," a large, burly man said from behind them.
"Wanna share the wealth?" "I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but I don't have any money with me." Ron said bravely, stepping in front of Hermione to shield her.
"Don't lie, red." the man called Vito said, stepping forward to face Ron. Ron gulped, making his adam's apple tap-dance in his throat.
"Oooh biggy mean men, how is you?" Bunny said giddily, bouncing forward before Draco could shut her up. The men just stared at Bunny oddly, then turned to Draco.
"Is she a mental case or something?" Vito asked, motioning to Bunny, who was still grinning at the men.
"MENTAL CASE?! Do you DARE face the wrath of the buffness?! Meet Bunny the Buff, big meanie men!!" Bunny said, flexing her "muscles" and growling.
"You've gotta be kidding me, kid. Can you sedate her or give her some ridilin or something?" Vito asked, looking at Bunny, who was still posing and growling.
"On behalf of the moon and my buffness, I'm gonna kick your..." Bunny shouted, brandishing her biceps just as Draco pulled her back and gagged her with his hand.
"Heehwejwemremmenn!!!" Bunny screamed through Draco's hand, her voice muffled inaudibly.
"Now Honey, you'll have to forgive her, she's looong overdue for a visit to the doctor, aren't you?" Draco said, nodding and trying to cover Bunny's anger. Bunny struggled with Draco, and broke free.
"Hey!! You! Get back here and apologize for threatening us!" Bunny yelled down the train after the two big thugs retreated down the aisle.
"Bunny no!" everyone said, but it was too late. Bunny dove on the back of Vito, and was clinging on with a death-grip.
"APOLOGIZE NOW MORTAL OR FACE THE WRATH OF BUNNY THE BUFF!!" Bunny screeched in the man's ear. He plucked her off his back and threw her into a seat.
"Now you listen, you little..." the man began, but was interrupted. Harry and Ami had tackled him and Ron and Hermione were on top of Vito. Draco ran to Bunny, and Eliza and the Weasleys backed up Ami, Harry, Ron, and Hermione. At that moment, the train screeched to a stop and they ran out of the train before the men could get up.
"Hey I could've taken them!" Bunny protested as Draco drug her along.
"I'm sure you could've, but we have to go find the...umm..." Draco said, pulling her along.
"Here we are! Madison Square Garden!" Ami announced, looking down on a giant stadium.
"Ooh!! A stage!" Bunny said, skipping up to the stage excitedly and starting to sing into the microphone.
"Lalalalalalalalaaa!! Oh I love my Draco and my fwootie and my Draco and my bunnies and my Draco he is so finnneee...he is all MINE!! Yes so all you girls out there better damn well keep your hands off him because he is MINE! MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!" Bunny sang, prancing around the stage. Draco blushed redder than Ron's hair, and walked toward the stage to see if he could get her to stop, but someone beat him to it.
"Excuse me Miss, we'd like to take you for a ride." a tall man in a white coat called to Bunny.
"Ooh goodie, a ride! A ride a ride a ride!!" Bunny said, bouncing off the stage and into the grasps of five people in white coats. They forced her arms into tight sleeves and tied them behind her back.
"Oooh me likey this, do you have it in pink?" Bunny asked as the men in white coats carried her away and threw her in the back on a white van and took off. Ami hailed a taxi and gave the driver her orders.
"FOLLOW THAT VAN!" she yelled at him as Ami, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Fred, George, and Eliza all crammed into the small backseat of the cab.
"You got it, I've always wanted to do this, I've seen it in the movies before." the cabbie said, pushing the gas pedal down as far as it would go and speeding off after the men in white coats.
"Lalalalalalalalaaaaa!! Draco is all miiiiinnneee...." Bunny sang, not even aware that she had been abducted and was sitting in the back of a van headed to the looney bin.
"Hey Mr.Lady-ma'am-sirree-Bob-in-the-pretty-whitie-coat can you untie my arms now? It's my turn to be the cops. You can be the robbers now." Bunny said, trying to get out of her straightjacket.
"Boy we're going to get a promotion for this one, I've never seen anyone so nutso in all my years of this!" one of the men said happily, looking back at Bunny who was now trying to bite her way through the straightjacket, but wasn't having much success.
"Uh-oh, this isn't good..." Eliza said as they drove into the Bellview Mental Institution.
"I always knew Bunny would end up here, but not this soon.." Ami completed. The men in the white coats got out of the van and pulled out Bunny, who was still wrapped up in her straightjacket and babbling like an idiot.
"Poor Bunny." Ron said, watching as they bumped her head into brick walls as they tried to carry her in.
"Poor men in white coats. They don't know what they're up against." Ami replied, watching as Bunny laughed and yelled at the men as they bumped her head against walls and columns.
"Oooh is this your bouncy room? Bouncy bouncy bouncy!!" Bunny said, jumping up and down in the padded cell she had been given. She bounced from wall to wall, then ceiling to floor, until she was thoroughly dizzy and almost sick to her stomach.
"Weeeeheee that was fuuuuunn..." Bunny giggled, falling down dizzily.
"Weehheeeeheheheheeeee..." Bunny said, spinning around some more and bumping into one of the padded walls.
"Hey why'd you jump out in front of me you mean old wall? Face the wrath of the buffness!" Bunny said, punching the wall and bouncing backwards.
"I don't know, she seems to like it there, and she certainly fits in. Oh God what if they find her wand?!" Ami said, watching Bunny through a handmirror she had enchanted.
"We have to get that wand! If they throw it out or mess with it there's no telling what will happen!!" Ami said, sneaking up to the door, still watching Bunny bounce around her padded room.
"How are we going to get in?" Harry asked, watching a lady in a white coat step out the door.
"Like this!" Ami said, grabbing his wrist and running inside.
"What if we get caught?" Hermione asked nervously as they snuck along the halls.
"We'll think about that later, now quiet or we will get caught!" Ami whispered harshly, creeping about the halls.
"Wait a minute, I think this is the cell." Ami whispered, stopping in front of one of the doors, and peering inside the little window.
"Yep, that's her. Draco, you and I will go in, the rest of you guard the door and tell us if anyone's coming, okay?" Ami ordered, grabbing Draco and stepping inside.
"HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHII!" Bunny cried, bouncing over giddily to hug her friends.
"Um hi Bunny, we're here to get you out." Draco said, barely recognizing Bunny. She wore a long white hospital gown and an oversize pair of glasses.
"You like? Now I have glasses like Harry's. Hey, Ami, where's Harry? Uh-oh, I see what's going on here..." Bunny rambled in one breath, stopping to look at Ami suspiciously. "DAMN YOU AMI YOU'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MY DRACO!!" Bunny bellowed, lunging at Ami and pushing her hard against one of the padded walls.
"BUNNY STOP!" Draco said, grabbing a struggling Bunny off Ami.
"Ooh defending your mistress, eh, you two-timing weasel!!" Bunny screamed, kicking Draco in the shins and jumping back on Ami.
"Hurry Draco, do something!!" Ami said in a choked voice as Bunny strangled her with her bare buff hands. Draco snatched Bunny away and kissed her. Bunny's face grew calm again and she didn't say a word.
"I'm sorry Ami, you weren't doing a thing with my Draco, you're a better friend and girlfriend than that. Forgive me?" Bunny said, offering her hand to her friend. Ami took it and they shook hands.
"Good, now let's go before the men in white coats see us. C'mon!" Ami said, grabbing Bunny and Draco by the arms and dragging them out the door. They dashed out of the Mental Institution with Hermione, Harry, Ron, Fred, George, and Eliza in tow.
"HEY COME BACK HERE!!" a group of men in white coats followed them, but the overactive teenagers were too fast for them.
"Woohoo! That was great! Can we do it again, huh huh?!" Bunny panted excitedly after they had run nearly 10 blocks down the street.
"NO!" everyone else replied in unison, sitting down on nearby park benches.
"Where to next?" Eliza finally asked after everyone had regained their breath.
"Oooh deli!!" Bunny squealed with delight, running across the jam-packed street to a delicatessen. A few cab drivers leaned out their windows and yelled at her, or honked their horns, but she paid them no mind. The others sighed, and followed her.
"SALAMI!! CHEESE! MMM CHEESE!!" Bunny said excitedly, looking over the menu.
"I'll just have one of everything." Bunny ordered the lady behind the counter, who looked disbelievingly at the skinny girl before her.
"And make it quick! With a large Coke." Bunny added, sitting down at a table to wait for her food. The others ordered a sandwich and drink each, and sat down at the huge table Bunny was waiting for them at. After a few minutes, platters of food started arriving, carried by waiters. Everyone was eating before Bunny's arrived, causing her to whine in hunger. At that moment, at least ten waiters trooped out of the kitchen, carrying huge platters of food each.
"Oooh goody it's here!" Bunny said excitedly, stacking mounds of food in front of her and devouring it like there was no tomorrow. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George's eyes widened to twice their usual size at the sight of Bunny's meal, but Draco, Ami, and Eliza looked nonchalant.
"Does she always eat like that?" Fred whispered to Eliza.
"No, not always, she's not very hungry today." Eliza replied, watching Bunny devour plate after plate of potato chips, potato salad, and sandwiches. After Bunny had finished her meal and everyone else had finished theirs, they headed for the exit.
"Mmm that was good. New York delis are the best!" Bunny said, patting her stomach and resuming her usual position in Draco's shoulder. They walked to Central Park and watched the sunset on the skyline, snuggling on park benches.
"Shouldn't we be going home now?" Harry asked, sitting close to Ami as they watched the horizon fade from brilliant orange to deep blue.
"Why? We still have so much to do." Ami whispered back, snuggling into his jacket. "Mmm, you're warm." Ami said contentedly, practically purring.
"When are we going home?" Hermione said, looking up from Ron suddenly. Ron looked extremely disappointed at the interruption, but appeared interested in the topic as well.
"Tomorrow, of course." Ami answered matter-of-factly, commencing snuggling with Harry.
"Where are we going to stay?!" Hermione demanded, causing Ami to look up from Harry's jacket.
"I dunno, we'll deal with that later. Relax, Herm." Ami said, snuggling back up to Harry as the stars began to peep through the dusk.
otherwise titled,
The Poor, Poor Men in White Coats...
by Ami the Queen of the Evil Flying Monkeys
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Oh stupid me I almost forgot about the disclaimer! Oops! Anyway, New York owns itself, the talented JK Rowling owns Harry, Hermione, Ron and company. MTV belongs to whoever owns it. Carson Daly owns himself. Britney ::shudder:: Spears belongs to Satan (or herself, whichever way you want to put it). Ummm...the Mental institution owns itself. None of NY was harmed during the making of this fic, just many of my innocent little brain cells. Oh and if you like Britney Spears do NOT read this, I will ignore any flames I recieve about her because I simply do not like her or her music and I am entitled to my opinion, thank you very much. Oh and just to clear up my name for the MILLIONTH time this week, my name did NOT come from Pigwidgeon's wonderful fic, it came from the Wizard of Oz, where the monkeys originally came from. For a better explaination, write to me, k? Later!
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"Woohoo!!" Hermione cried, skipping around the Gryffindor girls' dormitory giddily, much to the disapproval of her groaning roommates.
"What's gotten into you?" Parvati asked rather grumpily, not happy at being awakened from her beauty rest at 6:00 am on a Saturday.
"Oh, nothing." Hermione said mysteriously, continuing to skip around the room.
"Herm, shut up!" Lavendar moaned, throwing a stuffed bunny at Hermione's head. Hermione giggled as the bunny whizzed by her ear, and she bounced out the door.
"HARRY, RON!" Hermione called sweetly, pounding loudly on the fifth-year boys' dormitory.
"Shut yer hole, I'm coming." a very grumpy, sleepy Seamus Finnigan flung open the door, still wearing his striped pajamas.
"Hey Weasley, your girlfriend's here." Seamus grumbled, falling backward onto a bed, so sleepy he didn't even realize that Hermione wasn't supposed to be in a boys' dormitory. Ron grumbled in his sleep, sat up, and blushed as red as his flaming hair, pulling the covers up over his neck. Apparently Ron slept wearing no pajama top. A loud squeak came from underneath the covers Seamus had flopped across.
"Sorry, Neville." Seamus mumbled, stumbling back to his own bed. Hermione sat down on the end of Harry's bed, next to Ron, still shaking with silent laughter at his scarlet face and trying to peep under his covers, despite his desperate attempts to cover himself. Hermione finally allowed the giggles to emerge as she sat, watching Ron grab for his shirt and try to put it on inconspicuously under his covers.
"Stop laughing, it's harder than it looks." Ron whispered, the tips of his ears turning bright pink. Hermione shook the bed with laughter, arousing Harry from his slumber.
"Whazzat? Hermione?!" Harry said sleepily, groping about for his glasses and looking quite surprised to see his best friend sitting on his bed. He looked over at Ron's red face, and Hermione's still-laughing appearance, and understood immediately.
"She caught you sleeping, didn't she?" Harry laughed, causing Ron to nod sheepishly as he pushed his arms into his shirt sleeves.
"Guess what?! I have a letter! I have a letter!!" Hermione said giddily, acting as un-Hermione like as possible and brandishing an envelope around and grinning widely.
"Bully for you, why'd you have to wake me up at 6:00 am for a damn letter?" Ron grumbled, his face slowly returning to its normal color.
"Not just ANY damn letter, THIS damn letter!" Hermione said, thrusting it into Harry's hand. Harry opened the envelope and read aloud.
iDear Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco (I'm sending a copy of this to him too),
Hello all! Bunny and I have been planning to visit some of Bunny's relatives in New York City this weekend and we were wondering, would you like to come? Eliza is coming too, but she'll probably show up with her caravan of hunks (lucky dog, not sharing the wealth with her best friends, don't worry Harry and Draco though, we only look, not touch). Please don't let Fred and George see this or hear about Eliza's hunks, they might get jealous and things could get very ugly very quickly. Please send Pigwidgeon (Bunny likes him a lot because he is as psycho as her and Fuzzo, and they also have one major thing in common, they both never shut up!), Hedwig, or Fuzzo back with your reply as soon as possible. We will come to get you at 9:00 am sharp if we don't receive a reply telling us not to. See you then!
Love from,
Ami, Bunny, and Eliza
PS from Ami- Don't worry about Muggle clothes, we'll supply them. Don't be late! We'll be waiting for you! Love ya! /i
Harry looked up from the letter and smiled. "It's about time we got another vacation. With those three around this should be worth the trouble we'll be in if we're caught." Harry said, still grinning.
"You got me up for this?! Thanks, let's go!" Ron said, wearing a grin identical to Harry's and jumping out of bed, only to jump back in a few seconds later. Hermione and Harry laughed as they watched a very red-faced Ron grab for his pants.
After Ron had put on his pants, and Harry had combed his hair and put on clean robes, they hurried down the stairs into the entrance hall. Hermione ducked into the Great Hall and emerged carrying a large brown paper sack. Carrying their bundles of money and breakfast, they walked out into the cool, pre-dawn morning. It was a beautiful Saturday morning, and all was serene and perfectly peaceful, until the calvary arrived, at least. Harry, Ron, and Hermione watched the sun rise over the lake as they walked down to the Quidditch field, where they assumed Ami and Bunny would appear. Although Ami and Bunny were aiming for the Gryffindor common room, their aim was much less than perfect, as they had only started transporting themselves a few weeks earlier, and there was no telling where they might pop up.
"This looks like a nice spot." Hermione said, sitting down on the dewy grass and opening the bulging paper sack. Hermione had just started pulling blueberry muffins out of the sack when they heard two very feminine screams and a loud splash down by the lake. Hermione, Ron, and Harry gave each other knowing looks, and dashed down to the lakeshore, Hermione grabbing the bag of muffins and chasing the boys.
"AAAAAGGGHH AMI WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU WAKE ME UP THIS EARLY?!" a very familiar, cranky voice echoed across the once-quiet British hills. Harry, Ron, and Hermione halted, watching as two sopping-wet witches pulled pond weed off their robes and squeezing water out of them. The short, brown-haired one toted a large, bulging blue backpack, and the sleepy blonde was screaming at her. The brunette yawned and smiled.
"Draco, remember? We have to have time to sneak up to the Slytherin dorms and get him, and go see Harry, don't we?" Ami said slyly, shutting the blonde up immediately. Harry felt his ears turn pink as he heard Ron snickering audibly beside him. They both lifted their soaked heads and noticed three recognizable shadows a short distance away. Ami immediately recognized the messy-haired one, and ran up to him as quickly as she could, her water-heavy robes weighing her down and her shoes squishing in her steps and leaving puddles here and there.
"Harry!" she cried happily, throwing herself at him. Harry looked happy to see her, even though she smelled slightly of seaweed, but when they released the front of his robes were as soaked as hers.
"Sorry." Ami said meekly, blushing. "It's okay, though. We have to put on Muggle clothes anyway before we go to New York. Here." Ami said, handing them the bag crammed with assorted Muggle clothes, which was miraculously dry even after their early-morning swim in the lake.
"Do you think this will look good on me?" Ron said, holding up a black skirt and modeling it, much to everyone's amusement.
"That's for me, you twit." Hermione laughed, snatching the skirt away from Ron, who continued to strut.
"Damn, oh well, it'd make my hips look fat anyway." Ron said in a high voice, batting his eyelashes.
"Don't look in the!!!" Bunny said, watching as Ron commenced digging though the bag. They watched in horror as Ron pulled out a piece of feminine underwear. He dropped it as if it were a live snake, and Harry and Ron stepped a few paces backward.
"Oh for God's sake, it's just underwear. It's no worse than Ron's boxers." Ami said, stepping forward and grabbing the underwear, tucking it back into the bag. Ron blushed, and looked sheepish.
"How did you know about that?"
"Hermione told us." Ami said, sending the girls into fits of giggles. Ron blushed deeper, and Harry gave him a sympathetic glance out of the corner of his eye.
After Ami, Bunny, and Harry had put on dry clothes, and Ron and Hermione traded their Hogwarts robes for Muggle clothes, Bunny dashed off to get Draco, carrying some clothes with her. She returned a few moments later, dragging Draco behind her. Draco yawned and shifted uncomfortably in his blue jeans.
"How do Muggles manage with these things?" Draco wondered aloud, looking down at his shirt and jeans uncomfortably.
"Deal with it, Draco. C'mon." Bunny said, grabbing Draco's wrist once more and leading the way back down to the Quidditch field. Ami took Harry's hand in hers, and Bunny did the same to Draco.
"Form a circle, and join hands." Ami ordered, grabbing Bunny's free hand. Everyone did as they were told, and formed a tight circle. Ami and Bunny closed their eyes and began to chant something under their breath. A sudden breeze came, ruffling Bunny and Ami's hair as the others watched in amazement. Ami and Bunny's chants became louder and faster as the wind picked up, growing stronger by the second. Harry looked up and saw a swirling, dark whirlpool spinning just above his head. As he looked into the murky depths, he wondered how Ami, Bunny, and Eliza could travel this way so easily and unafraid.
"Ami, do you know what you're doing?!" Ron called, his voice never reaching her ears, it was sucked into the roar of the winds. Suddenly, Ami's eyes popped open as Bunny continued the chant, chanting louder to make up for her friend's absence.
"JUMP!" Ami screamed at the top of her lungs, but it was barely a whisper to Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They jumped unanimously, and they instantly felt as if they were being sucked into a furious windtunnel. Harry felt his glasses sliding off the bridge of his nose, but by some miracle, they remained on his face. With a loud "whump", they landed in the middle of a grassy park. Ron sat up, rubbing his bottom tenderly.
"Hey Ami, do you think you can soften the landing a bit next time?" Ron asked, squinting his eyes against the harsh September sun.
"I TOLD you, I'm working on it! It's better than landing in a lake with a giant squid, isn't it? Or maybe if you want we could arrange that for the journey back, is that what you want?" Ami said, a hint of amusement in her voice. Ron shook his head, and everyone laughed. They all got up slowly, rubbing their eyes and other assorted body parts which they had landed on.
"Witches and wizards, welcome to New York, New York!" Bunny said, gesturing Vanna White-style at the huge, forbidding skyline surrounding them. Their eyes went wide as they stared at the virtual wall of sky scrapers surrounding them on every side.
"Oooh where will we go first?!" Bunny said, bouncing around happily like the demented weasel she is. (A/N-She isn't always like that, just 99.9999999% of the time.)
"Where can we go?" Harry asked, looking around confusedly.
"Oh we could go to MTVtheTwinTowersormaybetheStatueofLibertyorShayStadiumormaybe..." Bunny said in one breath, before being interrupted by Ami.
"Let's go to MTV! I wanna meet Carson Daly!! He is soooo cute!" Ami bubbled, getting almost as hyper as Bunny, though neither of them had had any sort of caffeine or sugar that morning whatsoever.
"I thought I was the cute one." Harry said, hurt, looking at Ami.
"Oh, not that way sweetie, you're the real cutie here." Ami said, pinching Harry's cheeks gently, teasing him.
"Okay I think MTV is thataway." Bunny said, now becoming the official NY tour guide, since none of the others had any clue as to where they were.
"Oooh Italian Ices!!" Bunny shrieked, noticing a vendor nearby. Bunny ran over and ordered seven orders, and came back with her arms full. Harry, Hermione, Draco and Ron reached for an ice each, but Bunny bared her teeth and growled at them.
"Hey those are ours!" Hermione said, looking at Bunny strangely.
"No, those are hers. And I'll bet you anything she goes back for seconds and thirds. I'll go get ours." Ami sighed, giggling at Bunny as she scarfed down all seven ices in one gulp.
"AAAAAGHH!! ICE CREAM HEADACHE!!" Bunny screamed, holding her head painfully.
"How many times do I have to tell you, DON'T EAT LIKE SUCH A PIG AND YOU WON'T GET HEADACHES!" Ami screamed, taking the orders of ice from the vendor and paying him. Ami distributed the ices as Bunny screamed in pain and went back for more.
"Nummy good!" Bunny said, gulping more ices and repeating her ice cream headache-panic attack. After watching her turn around to go back for more ices, Ami grabbed the back of her shirt and whacked her in the head.
"C'mon, we have to find Carson!" Ami said, turning Bunny around and pushing her away from the stand. Bunny whined for about five minutes, then Draco hugged her and all was well again.
"Um, Bunny? Do you think you could separate yourself from Draco's chest long enough to see where you're going?" Ami asked, after watching Bunny run into a lightpost for the fifth time as she attempted to walk down the street backwards. Draco blushed, and pushed Bunny away from him slightly. Bunny turned around and stuck her tongue out at Ami.
"Very mature." a voice came from behind the group, and they all turned to look at who was speaking to them. A crowd of hunks dressed in identical pinstriped business suits trooped along like an army of well-trained ants. Their hands were all in the air, supporting a blonde-haired girl.
"Damn you Eliza, why do you get all the good entrances?!" Bunny retorted. Eliza smiled coyly, then rolled over the side of the hunk-wall, being caught by on of the hunks. He set her down gently after she ordered him to do so, and the crowd of hunks trooped off after she waved them off.
"Why don't you ever invite us when you have them around?!" Bunny shrieked at Eliza, who was still grinning.
"They're MINE, do you hear me? MINE!" Eliza replied, falling into step with the others.
"HELLO, WE'RE GOING TO FIND CARSON, AREN'T WE?!" Ami demanded, stopping Eliza and Bunny's bickering instantly.
"You sure are hung up on this guy, aren't you?" Harry said, raising his eyebrows.
"So is every other teenage girl in America, Harry. Don't worry, he has nothing next to you." Ami said, snuggling back into Harry's side. Bunny did the same with Draco, and Hermione with Ron. Eliza looked hurt, then angry.
"Hey, when do I get a turn?!" Eliza demanded, looking around at the snuggle-fest occurring around her.
"I'M NOT SHARING!" Bunny shouted, her voice muffled by Draco's shoulder.
"Neither am I." Ami and Hermione added, causing Ron and Harry to blush identical shades of red.
"Well what am I going to do?" Eliza demanded.
"Go snuggle with a lightpole, we're busy." Bunny retorted, snuggling with Draco even more. Eliza looked highly offended, and stormed ahead.
"Wait a minute, Eliza. Sorry Harry." Ami called, pulling herself away from Harry's grip. Harry looked disappointed, but let her go.
"Weasley twins, masters of trouble, get your butts down here on the double!" Ami said, waving her wand and performing a simple rhyming transportation charm. The Weasley twins fell out of the sky and landed on Ron. Hermione looked highly ticked as she shoved them off Ron and continued snuggling, though Ron's nose was bleeding and his hands were scraped.
"Commence snuggling!" Ami announced, and they went back to their snuggle-fest. The small, snuggling group walked down the street as one, collecting strange looks as they went.
"Get a room!" one passerby called. He was startled when he heard a reply.
"Good idea, I think we will!" Bunny called back, causing Draco to go from the pale pink blush he had worn since Bunny attached herself to him, to deep scarlet.
"Kids today...hormones running amok." they heard snatches of conversations as they walked, and they eventually reached Times Square. They descended into a crowd of screaming teenagers, and fought their way to the front.
"Hey, you!" a buff-looking security guard called, waving them over.
"You wanna meet Carson Daly and his guest VJ?" the guard asked. Ami looked as if she would pass out at any second.
"OH MY GOD YES YES YES!!!" Ami shrieked excitedly, dashing into the building before the guard could catch her. Harry ran after his girlfriend's excited shrieks, and Draco, Hermione, Bunny, Eliza, and the Weasley twins followed. The bouncer-guy stopped Ron before he reached the door.
"Hey buddy, you don't look cool enough to enter here." the guard said, looking over Ron critically.
"What do you mean? I'm as cool as anyone here." Ron argued, trying to look like Bill did when he was trying to sneak into a rock concert when he was younger, which Ron had accidentally-on-purpose followed him to.
"OHMYGODOHMYGOD IT'S HIM!!! IT'S REALLY HIM!!" Ami screamed, running across the stage where TRL was already occurring, and hugging Carson Daly happily. Harry followed her and tried to pry her off Carson.
"She doesn't look THAT happy when I come in a room." Harry thought to himself jealously. "Hey that's my girlfriend!" Harry said defensively as he watched Carson laugh at Ami as she hugged him.
"Oh so you're with this nut?!" Carson said, still laughing.
"NUT?! I'LL NUT YOU, YOU STUPID PRAT!!" Ami screamed, pushing Carson through the window and down three stories into a mosh-pit of screaming fans, where he was ripped to shreds for souvenirs.
"I thought you liked him?!" Harry asked incredulously, watching Ami do a victory dance.
"Naah, he just put Slim Shady on the top of the charts for a few weeks, so I have to like him." Ami said, grabbing Harry and dancing in front of the cameras.
"Woohoo this is GREAT!" Bunny screamed, grabbing Draco and dancing with him next to Ami and Harry.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT COOL, YOU UGLY OLD GIT?!" Ron demanded, still trying to get by the bouncers. The bouncers laughed at him. Suddenly, a hand popped out of the door and grabbed Ron. Ron was pulled through the doorway so quickly even the bouncers couldn't stop him.
"C'mon I need another male dancer anyway." a screechy female voice whispered, dragging him down the hallway and into a dressing room.
Hermione, Draco, Harry, Ami, Eliza, the Weasleys and Bunny were in the middle of their dance-fest when they noticed something wrong.
"Where they hell's he gone to now? If he's out pimping again I'll..." Hermione said, looking around for her redhead.
"Oh he's not or my buffness will kick his ass." Bunny said, flexing her muscles as she danced.
"ARE YOU READY TO PARTY?!" a horrible screechy female voice echoed through the studio.
"AAAAAAGHH NOT HER!!" Eliza, Bunny and Ami screamed, covering their ears in pain.
"Who is it?!" Harry screamed, covering his ears as well.
"Don't make us say the name, please don't make us say the name!!" Eliza, Bunny and Ami cried simultaneously.
"Who is it already?!" Hermione demanded.
"BRITNEY SPEARS!! AAAAGGGHHH!!" they replied, watching in horror as a trashy looking blonde stepped out onto the stage and started singing and dancing.
"MAKE IT STOP, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!" everyone cried helplessly. Hermione's eyes bugged out as she looked over the dancers.
"RON?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!!" Hermione shrieked, noticing Ron in the back.
"SHE'S MAKING ME! I'M STUCK HERE! HELP ME, I'M AS SCARED AS YOU!!" Ron screamed in terror, making obscene dance moves, following Britney's every move.
"TO YOUR WANDS, IF YOU EVER WANT TO LISTEN TO DECENT MUSIC AGAIN!" Ami cried, forcing her hands away from her ears and grabbing her wand.
"Petrificus Totalus!" Ami screamed, sending a jolt of yellow light at the giant rampaging plastic thing. Britney's legs sprang together, and she fell on her face, stiff as a board.
"Woohoo! The Full-body bind saved us again!" Bunny cried, hugging Ami.
"How did you stand that terrible singing?" Ron asked, recovering from his trance and rushing down to his friends.
"I don't know, I just knew I had to do it to save you guys." Ami said, hugging Harry, Eliza, Bunny, Hermione, Ron, and the Weasley twins.
"Now what're we going to do with it?" Ron said, kicking the now-stiff Britney.
"I dunno, any ideas?" Ami asked, looking down at the thing at their feet.
"Let's throw her out the window!!" Bunny said, picking up Britney after putting on rubber gloves. "Can't be too careful with plastic like her." Bunny warned, throwing Britney out the broken window into the waiting crowd, which ripped her to shreds just like Carson.
"We've saved the world, now what're we going to do?" Harry said, turning from the window to look at the others.
"LET'S EAT!" Bunny cried, waving down a pizza vendor who had miraculously gotten past the bouncers quicker than Ron had.
"Ummm Mew Ork pizza is whe whest!!" Bunny said through a mouthful of pizza.
"Ooh Ron I love your pants." Ami commented, ginning at him teasingly, just noticing Ron's unusual outfit. Ron blushed and looked down at his leather pants.
"She made me wear them, I think my other clothes are still in the dressing room." Ron said, grinning sheepishly at everyone's grinning faces.
"Wait, keep the pants, I kind of like them." Hermione called after him, making him blush even more.
After Bunny had eaten all of the pizza-man's pizza, they headed outside.
"Where next?" Eliza asked, standing between the Weasley twins.
"Ooooh lookie a parade!!" Bunny shrieked, running off to the next streetcorner, dragging Draco with her. The others ran to catch up to her, and stood on the streetcorner, watching the huge floats go by.
"Oooh it's the Macy's day parade!" Ami squealed with delight.
"Why are they having it in September though?" Eliza asked, staring at a giant replica of Snoopy as it floated past.
"I dunno, but tis majorly cool!" Bunny said. Ami and Bunny ran out into the parade before the others could stop them, and instantly found their favorite balloons. "Excuse me Mr.Ballooney-man-lady-sir? Can I see your ballooney for a minute?" Bunny asked, staring up at the frightened balloon-holder with a scary grin on her face. The balloon-holder wasn't used to dealing with insane people, so he handed over his string.
"Woohooheehehe!!" Bunny shrieked, running around and pushing over the other balloon-holders. Ami did the same to the people holding a large blue kitty, and the balloon was much bigger than her, so...
"Hey what're they doing? Aren't the balloons supposed to stay on the ground?" Hermione said, pointing to a large blue cat balloon and a pink bunny that were flying up, up, and away.
"WEEEHHEEEEEWOOHOOOYIPPPEEEEEE!!!" two familiar voices laughed loudly.
"Oh my god!! OH MY GOD THAT'S AMI AND BUNNY!!" Eliza panicked, watching as the two balloons floated higher into the air, carrying away Ami and Bunny, who were still giggling like idiots.
"How are we going to get them down?" Draco asked, running along underneath Bunny's balloon.
"HI DRACO-MAKO!!" Bunny said, taking one hand off the string she was dangling by to wave to him.
"DON'T WAVE TO US!!" Eliza screamed, panicking even more than before.
"WEEEHHEEEEHEHEEEHOOOHOOOWOO! HEY YOU GUYS SHOULD TRY THIS SOMETIME, IT'S REALLY FUN!!" Ami screamed back, swinging from her balloon like Tarzan. "AAIEEEEEEAAAGH!! IT'S ME, AMI OF THE JUNGLE!!" Ami shouted, letting go of the string and swinging only by her legs. Harry almost went into cardiac arrest as he ran around, trying to catch her if she fell. Hermione, finally thinking of something, pulled out her wand and screeched,
"Accio Firebolt!" Amazingly, Harry's Firebolt flew all the way from England and came directly to Hermione's hand.
"Here, go get them!" Hermione shouted, thrusting the broomstick at Harry. Harry straddled the broom and took off like a rocket.
"AMI GET ON THE BROOM!!" Harry yelled, watching her swing from the string and giggle even more.
"WHEEE this is soooo fun!! C'mon Harry!!" Ami said, swinging.
"NO, GET ON, NOW!" Harry ordered, grabbing her hand.
"Can we bring Mr.Kitty with us?" Ami pouted, looking up at the giant balloon above her.
"NO! C'MON, WE HAVE TO GET BUNNY!" Harry replied, pulling Ami onto the broomstick behind him, and taking off for the floating bunny. Ami wrapped her arms around Harry's waist and snuggled up against his back.
"Oooh me likes this, almost better than the ballooney.." Ami said contentedly as they pulled up next to the bunny.
"BUNNY GET ON!!" Harry ordered, watching Bunny laugh insanely and dangle from the string.
"NO ME LIKES IT HERE! I'M GOING TO JAPAN!!" Bunny shrieked happily.
"NO YOU'RE NOT! C'MERE!" Harry called, grabbing Bunny and pulling her on the Firebolt behind Ami. Bunny whined for her balloon as they soared gracefully back down to the ground below. Ami and Bunny dissolved into giggles as soon as their feet hit solid ground again. Eliza took them both by the shoulders and shook them furiously.
"DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!" Eliza bellowed.
"Okee-dokee. Where do you want to go next?" Ami answered, regaining her sanity momentarily.
"I wonder where Mr.Bunny's going?" Bunny wondered aloud, watching the huge pink bunny disappear into the distance.
"Ummm, where can we go?" Harry pondered.
"I KNOW!! C'MON!" Ami shrieked, grabbing Harry's wrist and dragging him down the street.
"Ami, do you know where you're going?" Ron asked as they circled the same block for the third time.
"Yes now just clam up and follow me." Ami ordered, ducking down a staircase and into a bustling crowd.
"Wow, the subway!" Hermione said, watching all the New Yorkers milling around them. Ami paid their way through the spinny-gate-thingy and they had to tear Bunny away from it since she kept spinning through it and was annoying the operator lady. Ami drug Harry and the others into a train and the doors slammed shut behind them.
"Hey Vito, lookie what we got here. A bunch of little rich kids. Hey kids," a large, burly man said from behind them.
"Wanna share the wealth?" "I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but I don't have any money with me." Ron said bravely, stepping in front of Hermione to shield her.
"Don't lie, red." the man called Vito said, stepping forward to face Ron. Ron gulped, making his adam's apple tap-dance in his throat.
"Oooh biggy mean men, how is you?" Bunny said giddily, bouncing forward before Draco could shut her up. The men just stared at Bunny oddly, then turned to Draco.
"Is she a mental case or something?" Vito asked, motioning to Bunny, who was still grinning at the men.
"MENTAL CASE?! Do you DARE face the wrath of the buffness?! Meet Bunny the Buff, big meanie men!!" Bunny said, flexing her "muscles" and growling.
"You've gotta be kidding me, kid. Can you sedate her or give her some ridilin or something?" Vito asked, looking at Bunny, who was still posing and growling.
"On behalf of the moon and my buffness, I'm gonna kick your..." Bunny shouted, brandishing her biceps just as Draco pulled her back and gagged her with his hand.
"Heehwejwemremmenn!!!" Bunny screamed through Draco's hand, her voice muffled inaudibly.
"Now Honey, you'll have to forgive her, she's looong overdue for a visit to the doctor, aren't you?" Draco said, nodding and trying to cover Bunny's anger. Bunny struggled with Draco, and broke free.
"Hey!! You! Get back here and apologize for threatening us!" Bunny yelled down the train after the two big thugs retreated down the aisle.
"Bunny no!" everyone said, but it was too late. Bunny dove on the back of Vito, and was clinging on with a death-grip.
"APOLOGIZE NOW MORTAL OR FACE THE WRATH OF BUNNY THE BUFF!!" Bunny screeched in the man's ear. He plucked her off his back and threw her into a seat.
"Now you listen, you little..." the man began, but was interrupted. Harry and Ami had tackled him and Ron and Hermione were on top of Vito. Draco ran to Bunny, and Eliza and the Weasleys backed up Ami, Harry, Ron, and Hermione. At that moment, the train screeched to a stop and they ran out of the train before the men could get up.
"Hey I could've taken them!" Bunny protested as Draco drug her along.
"I'm sure you could've, but we have to go find the...umm..." Draco said, pulling her along.
"Here we are! Madison Square Garden!" Ami announced, looking down on a giant stadium.
"Ooh!! A stage!" Bunny said, skipping up to the stage excitedly and starting to sing into the microphone.
"Lalalalalalalalaaa!! Oh I love my Draco and my fwootie and my Draco and my bunnies and my Draco he is so finnneee...he is all MINE!! Yes so all you girls out there better damn well keep your hands off him because he is MINE! MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!" Bunny sang, prancing around the stage. Draco blushed redder than Ron's hair, and walked toward the stage to see if he could get her to stop, but someone beat him to it.
"Excuse me Miss, we'd like to take you for a ride." a tall man in a white coat called to Bunny.
"Ooh goodie, a ride! A ride a ride a ride!!" Bunny said, bouncing off the stage and into the grasps of five people in white coats. They forced her arms into tight sleeves and tied them behind her back.
"Oooh me likey this, do you have it in pink?" Bunny asked as the men in white coats carried her away and threw her in the back on a white van and took off. Ami hailed a taxi and gave the driver her orders.
"FOLLOW THAT VAN!" she yelled at him as Ami, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Fred, George, and Eliza all crammed into the small backseat of the cab.
"You got it, I've always wanted to do this, I've seen it in the movies before." the cabbie said, pushing the gas pedal down as far as it would go and speeding off after the men in white coats.
"Lalalalalalalalaaaaa!! Draco is all miiiiinnneee...." Bunny sang, not even aware that she had been abducted and was sitting in the back of a van headed to the looney bin.
"Hey Mr.Lady-ma'am-sirree-Bob-in-the-pretty-whitie-coat can you untie my arms now? It's my turn to be the cops. You can be the robbers now." Bunny said, trying to get out of her straightjacket.
"Boy we're going to get a promotion for this one, I've never seen anyone so nutso in all my years of this!" one of the men said happily, looking back at Bunny who was now trying to bite her way through the straightjacket, but wasn't having much success.
"Uh-oh, this isn't good..." Eliza said as they drove into the Bellview Mental Institution.
"I always knew Bunny would end up here, but not this soon.." Ami completed. The men in the white coats got out of the van and pulled out Bunny, who was still wrapped up in her straightjacket and babbling like an idiot.
"Poor Bunny." Ron said, watching as they bumped her head into brick walls as they tried to carry her in.
"Poor men in white coats. They don't know what they're up against." Ami replied, watching as Bunny laughed and yelled at the men as they bumped her head against walls and columns.
"Oooh is this your bouncy room? Bouncy bouncy bouncy!!" Bunny said, jumping up and down in the padded cell she had been given. She bounced from wall to wall, then ceiling to floor, until she was thoroughly dizzy and almost sick to her stomach.
"Weeeeheee that was fuuuuunn..." Bunny giggled, falling down dizzily.
"Weehheeeeheheheheeeee..." Bunny said, spinning around some more and bumping into one of the padded walls.
"Hey why'd you jump out in front of me you mean old wall? Face the wrath of the buffness!" Bunny said, punching the wall and bouncing backwards.
"I don't know, she seems to like it there, and she certainly fits in. Oh God what if they find her wand?!" Ami said, watching Bunny through a handmirror she had enchanted.
"We have to get that wand! If they throw it out or mess with it there's no telling what will happen!!" Ami said, sneaking up to the door, still watching Bunny bounce around her padded room.
"How are we going to get in?" Harry asked, watching a lady in a white coat step out the door.
"Like this!" Ami said, grabbing his wrist and running inside.
"What if we get caught?" Hermione asked nervously as they snuck along the halls.
"We'll think about that later, now quiet or we will get caught!" Ami whispered harshly, creeping about the halls.
"Wait a minute, I think this is the cell." Ami whispered, stopping in front of one of the doors, and peering inside the little window.
"Yep, that's her. Draco, you and I will go in, the rest of you guard the door and tell us if anyone's coming, okay?" Ami ordered, grabbing Draco and stepping inside.
"HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHII!" Bunny cried, bouncing over giddily to hug her friends.
"Um hi Bunny, we're here to get you out." Draco said, barely recognizing Bunny. She wore a long white hospital gown and an oversize pair of glasses.
"You like? Now I have glasses like Harry's. Hey, Ami, where's Harry? Uh-oh, I see what's going on here..." Bunny rambled in one breath, stopping to look at Ami suspiciously. "DAMN YOU AMI YOU'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MY DRACO!!" Bunny bellowed, lunging at Ami and pushing her hard against one of the padded walls.
"BUNNY STOP!" Draco said, grabbing a struggling Bunny off Ami.
"Ooh defending your mistress, eh, you two-timing weasel!!" Bunny screamed, kicking Draco in the shins and jumping back on Ami.
"Hurry Draco, do something!!" Ami said in a choked voice as Bunny strangled her with her bare buff hands. Draco snatched Bunny away and kissed her. Bunny's face grew calm again and she didn't say a word.
"I'm sorry Ami, you weren't doing a thing with my Draco, you're a better friend and girlfriend than that. Forgive me?" Bunny said, offering her hand to her friend. Ami took it and they shook hands.
"Good, now let's go before the men in white coats see us. C'mon!" Ami said, grabbing Bunny and Draco by the arms and dragging them out the door. They dashed out of the Mental Institution with Hermione, Harry, Ron, Fred, George, and Eliza in tow.
"HEY COME BACK HERE!!" a group of men in white coats followed them, but the overactive teenagers were too fast for them.
"Woohoo! That was great! Can we do it again, huh huh?!" Bunny panted excitedly after they had run nearly 10 blocks down the street.
"NO!" everyone else replied in unison, sitting down on nearby park benches.
"Where to next?" Eliza finally asked after everyone had regained their breath.
"Oooh deli!!" Bunny squealed with delight, running across the jam-packed street to a delicatessen. A few cab drivers leaned out their windows and yelled at her, or honked their horns, but she paid them no mind. The others sighed, and followed her.
"SALAMI!! CHEESE! MMM CHEESE!!" Bunny said excitedly, looking over the menu.
"I'll just have one of everything." Bunny ordered the lady behind the counter, who looked disbelievingly at the skinny girl before her.
"And make it quick! With a large Coke." Bunny added, sitting down at a table to wait for her food. The others ordered a sandwich and drink each, and sat down at the huge table Bunny was waiting for them at. After a few minutes, platters of food started arriving, carried by waiters. Everyone was eating before Bunny's arrived, causing her to whine in hunger. At that moment, at least ten waiters trooped out of the kitchen, carrying huge platters of food each.
"Oooh goody it's here!" Bunny said excitedly, stacking mounds of food in front of her and devouring it like there was no tomorrow. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George's eyes widened to twice their usual size at the sight of Bunny's meal, but Draco, Ami, and Eliza looked nonchalant.
"Does she always eat like that?" Fred whispered to Eliza.
"No, not always, she's not very hungry today." Eliza replied, watching Bunny devour plate after plate of potato chips, potato salad, and sandwiches. After Bunny had finished her meal and everyone else had finished theirs, they headed for the exit.
"Mmm that was good. New York delis are the best!" Bunny said, patting her stomach and resuming her usual position in Draco's shoulder. They walked to Central Park and watched the sunset on the skyline, snuggling on park benches.
"Shouldn't we be going home now?" Harry asked, sitting close to Ami as they watched the horizon fade from brilliant orange to deep blue.
"Why? We still have so much to do." Ami whispered back, snuggling into his jacket. "Mmm, you're warm." Ami said contentedly, practically purring.
"When are we going home?" Hermione said, looking up from Ron suddenly. Ron looked extremely disappointed at the interruption, but appeared interested in the topic as well.
"Tomorrow, of course." Ami answered matter-of-factly, commencing snuggling with Harry.
"Where are we going to stay?!" Hermione demanded, causing Ami to look up from Harry's jacket.
"I dunno, we'll deal with that later. Relax, Herm." Ami said, snuggling back up to Harry as the stars began to peep through the dusk.