Mein Peeps
*Prussia discovers Peeps and mistakes them for Easter toys and gives each nation two boxes at the world meeting.* WARNING: Some mild vulgar language, German, and German brotherly love.*
Ok I thought that this was going to be a cute idea for Easter and also stands as a reason why Gilbert hates Peeps. However while doing some research while writing it; I discovered that the Easter bunny tradition originated from Germany. So thought I would include this fact as a commentary to my story! Enjoy!
It was just an ordinary Monday night, shopping night for Gilbert. He was at Walmart doing his weekly grocery shopping. He is pushing around a cart, up and down the aisles listening to is Ipod. At times he would stop and do some air guitar swings while others looked at him strangely. Not much was in his cart, a few bags of potatoes, a couple cases of beer, multiple packages of different kinds of wurst, and sauerkraut.
"Ah that should be enough for now." he says as he heads towards the checkout. "If need anything else, I'll can always come back later." which was his normal attitude when shopping. Then his eyes catch the Easter display as he goes towards the checkout. His sweet tooth forces him to go down the aisle. He then grabs some candies; specifically Robineggs, various flavors of Cadbury eggs (both filled and solid), Kisses, Reese's Eggs, M&M's, and Starburst jelly beans. *(Because these are my favorite candies and they are awesome. If you disagree, I'll send 2p! Italy after your ass.)* Then he sees them.
"Hey these toys look like Gilbird. Kesesese." Gilbert comments as he picks up a package of Peeps. He then sees a stocker restocking the candy on the other shelves.
"Hey how many of these birds do you have?" Gil asks the man.
At first he is confused then he responds with, "A lot, we have a ton of cases in the back storage."
"Hmm. How many are in a case? 36?" Gilbert says as thinks as he hatches a plan.
"Yes why?" question the stocker becoming scared by this person who is thinking of buying at least one case of Peeps.
Ok, there are about 200 nations and I want to give at least two packages to each. 36 in a case plus some extra just for me because I'm awesome. He starts to think as he decides how many cases to buy. "Ok, I want you to bring me fifteen cases of these Peeps." Gilbert decides.
"Really? You want 540 packages of Peeps? Can I ask why?" asks the stunned worker.
"They are for my friends." responds Gil. The stocker takes out his radio for the storeroom to call back to bring out the cases.
He then questions "Did you want them all the same colors or different?"
"Different please, if you can I want some of these bunny ones too." Gilbert says as he sees that there are bunny ones too.
"Ok they will be outside" the stocker says as he takes out a notepad and starts writing on it. "Show this to the check-out worker went you decide to pay." He then hands Gilbert the slip of paper. Then Gilbert goes to the check out to buy his groceries and the cases of Peeps. The checkout girl was just as weirded out at the stocker when Gilbert handed her the slip of paper. However she has gotten even weirder orders and rung up Gil without any questions.
Gil walks out of the store to find his fifteen crates were almost all outside. Then Gilbird flies towards him to greet him. Gilbird was to stay outside because of the Giant Eagle incident last week. It happens that the staff at Giant Eagle dislikes the idea of a pet bird in their store. Ironic, since they are named after a bird. They asked Gilbert to leave the bird outside, but Gil through a fit "knocked over" (destroyed) a display of produce which got him banned from that Giant Eagle. Also since Walmart was the only other store close enough to his house he decided he did not want to be banned from it too. And thus the solution was resolved that Gilbird had to stay outside while Gil shopped.
"Hey Gilbird! Look at these!" he says while opening a case and showing him a package of Peeps. He thinks that these were real birds and then starts to attack his owner.
"Hey Stop! They are toys!" he says while shooing Gilbird. "I am going to show how awesome I am going to give these packages to all of the nations at the next meeting." He then walks to his sliver 2014 Porsche Boxster to put the grocery in it and to pull up to the front and start loading the boxes in his car.
On the ride back to the house his had the top down and blared his character song Mien Gott. He finally gets home and brings in his groceries and yells "Bruder, ich bin zu Hause! 1" and then runs out to bring in the Peeps. Ludwig, who is in the living room reading a novel, hears Gilbert running in and out of the door wonders what Gilbert is doing.
Oh what the hell did he buy? Ludwig thinks to himself as he stops reading to walk out of the living room and into the kitchen. He then sees five cases of Peeps with Gilbert walking into the door with another. Oh Mien Gott, he has finally discovered Peeps. He then finally asked "Why did you buy all these Peeps?"
"Oh dammit it was going to be a surprise, but you can help!" Gilbert responses excited when he sees that Luddy had found out about the Peeps.
"I am not going around buying all the Peeps so people cannot have them." Ludwig says thinking that is his plan.
"Oh no, we have more than enough toys here." Gil interrupts. "I am going to give all the nations two packages, so they know how awesome I am."
Thank God that he has not figured out that you eat them. Lud thought to himself. "Sure I will help you."
"Danke, kleiner bruder! 2" Gil expressed and ran over to Lud to give him a big hug. Once Gilbert is done hugging him, Ludwig helps Gil bring in the rest of the cases. Then the two begin to sort out the boxes and wrap them for Gil's surprise.
On the day of the meeting, Gil and Lud show up early at nine in the morning to set up the presents at everyone's seat. Along with the gifts is a note that states, please do not open until the beginning of the meeting. Once they are done setting up, they leave to go to Kochlöffel for an early lunch. By the time they return back to the some of the nations have arrived, confused and curious of who is this mysterious Easter Bunny.
At Noon, when all the nations are present and the meeting is called to a start, they all start opening their presents and see their surprise, two packages of Peeps. *(And yes for those who are wondering, Arthur has a package of green and pink bunnies Peeps and like Gil, he thinks that they are toys.)* Then when Prussia sees how happy all the nations are with their gifts, he stands up and says "I am glad that you like the gifts I gave you." Immediately the room is full of Thank Yous towards Gil, which boosts his already high self-esteem through the roof.
Ludwig looks around to see if anyone is going to eat there Peeps here, but most of them are saving them for later. "Pew! They are saving them for later." he thinks relieved.
He then he turns to his left to see Italy trying to eat one. He then elbows him and Italy responses with, "Hey why did you do that for?"
"Just wait until you get home to eat your Peeps." Ludwig hisses to Feliciano hoping the Gil will not hear him. However Gil is off in his little world due to his praise and is not playing attention to anyone.
"Ohh! But Doitsu!" Feliciano complains.
"Just do it!" Lud snaps and then Italy puts away the packages disappointed.
"Hey! Thanks dude!" Alfred says as he rips off a head of one of his blue peeps.
Oh shit! Thanks Alfred! Ludwig thinks as he looks over hoping Gil did not see that and is still off in his own little world. Unfortunately Gilbert saw the incident as well as Arthur and both are mortified.
"Ah so they are not toys…" Arthur says somberly.
"HAHAHAHA! You thought they were toys! HAHAHA! They are marshmallows covered in sugar! HAHAHAHA!" Alfred laughs as he sees England's face and continues picking on Arthur. After hearing Alfred Gil excuses himself and leaves the conference room. After ten minutes Ludwig suggests that he should go to find him and bring him back to the meeting.
"Are you sure you are going to find him?" questions Roderich.
"Yeah maybe we should have a search party for him?" inquires Feliciano.
"Oh No! We do not need to put that much fuss on finding him, besides I know exactly where he is. I will go alone… it will be better for him." replies Ludwig as he goes out the door. He walks straight and takes a left up the stairs. He finally climbs all the way to the top and walks out the roof. There he finds Gilbert curled up crying in a corner with Gilbird near his side. Ludwig walks over and sits down next to Gil. "Hey what are you doing up here crying? I thought that Prussians never cry?" Ludwig says trying to comfort Gil.
"Sie wusste von denen Süßigkeiten, hast du nicht? 3" responses Gil sniffling.
"Ja, ich wollte nicht, Ihre Gefühle zu verletzen. 4" Ludwig said with a sigh.
"WARUM HABEN SIE MIR SAGEN, VERDAMMT? Ich könnte etwas völlig dumm nicht getan haben, UND MACHEN EINEN ESEL AUS MIR HERAUS! 5" replies Gilbert with his eyes filled with rage and betrayal. Gil then turns his back to Ludwig.
"Hey everyone loved your gifts and they all must think you are awesome though." Ludwig says trying to cheer Gil up but he is ignoring him. "Ok ich erklären, warum ich versteckte sie von Ihnen. 6" he finally admitted with a sigh. "Once I found out they were candy, I figured you would go berserk, like you are now." Lud said as he tried to put his arm around Gil, but he moves away from him. "I tried my best to hide them from you myself. Ich würde schleichen, nachdem Sie links ab und verstecken Sie die Anzeige. 7" he continues as Gilbert appears to start listening to Ludwig's explanation. "One day a stocker at Giant Eagle caught me and I explained myself and then he agreed to have the staff move them while you were shopping." Gil is sitting up now paying attention to Ludwig while wiping his tears. "However… when you got banned from Giant Eagle... I immediately called Walmart… to ask if they would do the same thing… but they declined." Germany says with tears starting to roll down his eyes as well. "They even threatened… to ban both of us… if I tried to hide… the display myself. And I know… that I… could not …" And before Ludwig could finish Gil turns to give him a big brother hug.
"Oh Luddy! Sie ging durch all die Mühe, Gefühle Ihren großen Bruder zu schützen? Awwwwe Ich liebe dich so sehr, kleiner Bruder! 8" Gil says while hugging, squeezing, swinging, and crying on Ludwig. Ludwig is crying as well, while trying to breathe when his brother is hugging him so tightly.
"So können Sie nicht böse auf mich sind? 9" Ludwig asks when he finally has the breath to do so.
"Oh how can I be mad at you, Meine süße, nachdenkliche kleine Bruder! 10" Gill response while putting Lud into a headlock and giving him a noogie. "Kesesesese!"
"Hey hör auf damit! Sie werden zu versauen meine Haare! 11" Ludwig complain while trying to get out of Gil's headlock. The headlock noogie soon turns into a wrestling match. "Hey we should get back down to the meeting before they send a search party after us." Ludwig suggests hoping he can finally win a wrestling match.
"No way! I am not giving up until you say that I am awesome! Come on! Say it! Preußen ist genial! 12" Gil replies trying to force Ludwig to say it.
"Hey how about whoever gets down to the meeting room first is awesome. Ludwig offers, trying to return to the meet before someone else saw the two wrestling.
"Oh You're on! If you can catch up! Kesesesese!" Gilbert says as he gets off of his brother and pushes him down so he can have a head start.
Ludwig slowly gets up and walks down the stairs making Gilbert win by default. When he finally returns to the conference room, he can see that Gil is back to his normal state and take his seat. Then England resumes the meeting.
"Kesesesese! You finally admit that I am awesome!" Prussia whispers once Germany sits down.
"Oh really? Maybe I did not run down the stairs because I did not want to look like a dork like you." response Ludwig.
"Hey I slowed down toward the end so they did not see me running down the stairs!" Gil says as he elbows Ludwig and the meeting resumes.
At the end of the day when to meeting is over the two brothers walk out of the building together.
"So I finally understand what you said when you discovered that I had bought the Peeps." Gil mentions as they walk outside. "About buying all the Peeps so no one can eat them. And I say I would never think of that until now. I don't think that's too bad of an idea."
"OH NO YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT!" Ludwig yells at Gilbert.
"Kesesese! You think that I am doing that alone!" responses Gil laughing.
"OH YES YOU ARE, unless you find someone stupid enough to follow your plan. And I already told you before that I am not going around buying all the Peeps in the area." Lud says as the two finally get to the car.
"Yeah I already know you will not help because you are not awesome. I was thinking more towards Alfred; because I am sure he will be stupid and willing enough to do it." Gilbert answers. They both laugh at the idea and then drive toAugustiner Am Dante for diner. After having a meal and a few drinks they return back home safe and sound.
Translations:
Brother I am home!
Thank you, little brother!
You knew about them being candy, didn't you?
Yes, I did not want to hurt your feelings.
Why didn't you fucking tell me? I could not have done something completely stupid, and make an ass out of myself.
Ok I will explain why I hid them from you.
I would sneak out after you left and hide the display.
You went through all that trouble to protect your big brother's feelings? I love you so much, little brother!
So you are not mad at me?
my sweet thoughtful little brother
Hey stop that! You are going to screw up my hair!
Prussia is awesome.