"Can't sleep?"
Sitting at the island in the middle of the kitchen, sipping on what Ryuko could readily assume to be tea is her sister, Satsuki. Absently rubbing the back of her neck, the sight of her sister's well-toned thighs makes Ryuko set her teeth. She deems cotton sleep shorts to be the bane of her existence.
"Yeah," It was the fourth time this week she's come to the kitchen in the dead of night, "I dunno what's going on."
They stare at each other from across the room and Ryuko muses that Satsuki almost always looks better with her hair tied up. Crossing the kitchen, Ryuko moves to the fridge, looking for a midnight snack, trying to shake the overwhelming feeling of just asking Satsuki to punch her in the face and knock her out to get some sleep.
She knows she has bags under her eyes, the last few weeks being extra rough for her. She can feel Satsuki's piercing gaze on her back as she decides between grabbing another chocolate pudding or one of those low fat cheese sticks Satsuki thinks she doesn't know are low fat.
Sighing, Ryuko grabs the pudding purely out of spite, sitting across from her sister at the island, grabbing a spoon on the way. Peeling away the lid, she purposefully doesn't look at Satsuki, already knowing that her face has contorted into that concerning big sister look.
It's been two years since the end, and it's been relatively quiet lately, considering. Sometimes one of the Elite Four will call the house and Ryuko will have to sit and listen to Satsuki talk to them about life and how she was doing and blah, blah, blah.
Those conversations usually end with Satsuki going to her room and not letting Ryuko come in after a long, long time. Once, Ryuko had asked her about it, why she looked so broken while talking to them, the answer she got was something she still thought about to this day.
"I've become selfish. They gave their lives to me and now that they've all moved on, I can't help but wish they were still at my side."
Snapping out of her memories, Ryuko tastes the pudding and realizes that Satsuki has struck, once again. Swallowing the filth, she smacks the spoon on the granite countertop, standing, "What the fuck, Satsuki? This is that Sugar Free shit!"
Satsuki just stares, unmoving, both hands on her teacup, "You eat too much junk food, it's bad for your health. All that sugar will keep you up even more." Grinding her teeth, Ryuko growls in frustration.
She places both hands on the countertop, leaning into her sister's personal space, "Oi, I didn't ask for your health advice."
Suddenly, Satsuki is much closer to her face than she was just seconds ago, "As your older sister, I think I have the right to care about what you're putting in your body. Poor health is not good, Ryuko. Not good."
She can smell her, the lingering scent of her shampoo. She can see wet drops sliding off of her bangs, hitting her cheeks lightly. Her skin is slightly pink, probably from the heat of her shower. Ryuko gets closer, dancing with her own limits.
"I'm not gonna eat that health crap."
"I pay for it. So you'll eat what I buy."
"Then I'll just get a job!"
At this point their noses are almost touching and Ryuko thinks if she stays in this position any longer, she's going to spontaneously combust. Satsuki's eyes spark, going full mom-mode, "You're not doing anything, you've worked hard enough as it is."
Ryuko can't take it. Giving in, she quickly glances at Satsuki's lips, which have been pressed into a thin, disapproving line. Looking back up, she can't tell whether Satsuki noticed and chose not to say anything, or didn't notice at all. Hoping for the latter, Ryuko reels back, shoving another spoonful of disgusting Sugar Free pudding into her mouth.
She can't take these heated arguments with Satsuki. The pressure of not pulling a fast one and just grabbing her face to kiss her like she's always wanted is insane.
Running her tongue over her own lips, Ryuko wonders what Satsuki would taste like. Probably tea. She wants to think being aware of her feelings is what's making this pudding taste like crap.
"So, what's keeping you up?"
Chewing on her spoon, Ryuko thinks. What has been keeping her up lately? Not nightmares. Those hadn't come back since she moved in with Satsuki a year and a half ago. There's a quick thought in the back of her mind that suddenly comes to the forefront, making her glance away from Satsuki.
Suddenly, she knows exactly why. "Not sure, still."
She hears Satsuki sigh and get up, moving to grab an apple off the other counter. Ryuko keeps eating her pudding, silent. Satsuki takes a bite of her fruit, and then offers some to Ryuko. Never to pass up an indirect kiss with Satsuki, Ryuko takes the apple and bites off of the same side as her sister. She knows she can never have what she wants, so what's wrong with getting bits and pieces every once and a while?
"You always do that." Satsuki's hand is outstretched, waiting for her apple to return. Ryuko swallows, feigning indifference as best she can, "Do what?"
Satsuki takes the apple and proceeds to repeat Ryuko's actions, not breaking eye contact. Heat blooms under her skin as she's under Satsuki's scrutiny. Reaching over, Ryuko takes the apple and repeats the repeat; oblivious to what message it might send.
Satsuki does the same after a few moments, but not after saying something that makes Ryuko choke on her mouthful of apple. "You talk in your sleep, you know."
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Spluttering apple everywhere, Ryuko tries to recover, "W-What?"
Satsuki just takes another bite of apple, continuing as if she's talking about the weather and didn't just drop the biggest bomb of Ryuko's life on her. "You speak. In your sleep."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
Stepping closer, Satsuki's hand comes up to mess with the hem of Ryuko's shirt, pinching the fabric between her fingers. She doesn't look up when she says, "I don't mind, you know."
She doesn't want to ask, heart hesitating. "Don't mind what?"
She looks at her then, "How you feel about me."
Ryuko's stomach suddenly tightens, flames devouring her from the inside out. She's never been so embarrassed in her life. Her fucking sister knows. She knows. Fuck.
She opens her mouth to try and defend herself, or at least pretend to deny it for Christ sake, but nothing comes out. Satsuki's eyes are smoldering, giving her a look that says she knows about everything.
"S-Satsuki—"
She cuts off when Satsuki takes her face in her hands and calmly presses her lips to her forehead, silencing her. Ryuko freezes, staring at her sister's throat not even two inches away from her face; she wants to bite it. Breaking away, Satsuki says, "It's okay. You don't have to explain yourself."
She presses their foreheads together and Ryuko thinks her head might explode.
"I trust you."
Ryuko lets a small smile form, considering the circumstances, laughing nervously, "You don't have to worry about that, Sis."
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Ryuko stares at Satsuki's content face. Denial was something she always accepted, but she didn't expect it to hurt this bad.
Putting her hand over Satsuki's she squeezes, signaling her discomfort. Satsuki takes a step back, eyes never leaving Ryuko's. Taking the pudding cup and throwing it into the trash bin on the way to the living room, Ryuko tries to swallow her disappointment, again.
Flopping on the couch, switching on the TV, she sighs wistfully. Satsuki sits next to her, their thighs touching. Ryuko thinks she should just try to forget the whole thing, changing channels every two seconds.
After a few minutes of strained silence, Satsuki tucks a piece of Ryuko's hair behind her ear, making Ryuko almost jump out of her skin. Whipping her head to look at Satsuki, she's met with a contemplative look.
"What?"
Satsuki hums, thumb rubbing at Ryuko's ear, and she can feel the air shift, something heavy floating around them. "I know I could."
Lifting a brow, Ryuko keeps her hands on the remote, trying to avoid thinking about what kind of cryptic bullshit Satsuki was about to spew. "Could what?"
Satsuki's looking at the TV when she says it, blowing Ryuko's mind for the second time that night, "Fall in love with you."
The lump in her throat returns, choking her. "But you can't. We can't."
She turns when Satsuki pulls at her ear, the distance between them becoming smaller and smaller. "I just need time, that's all." Her eyes are shining, like they did the first time Ryuko hugged her or held her hand walking down the street.
"O-Okay." Ryuko can barely whisper, she's so entranced by her sister's eyes. Wasn't she just rejected? Her heart is beating too fast.
Reaching over her sister's shoulders, Ryuko puts her hand on the back of the couch, scooting even closer to Satsuki. Leaning her head back into the crook of Ryuko's elbow after letting go of her ear, Satsuki puts her hand on Ryuko's thigh; thumb rubbing calm strokes on her skin.
Ryuko falls asleep to the sound of Satsuki's light snoring and late-night infomercials.
She muses that she'd wait forever if Satsuki asked her to.