reiharu cuddles, that's all anyone ever needs.
It's 5:30 in the morning and I seriously finished this YES. I'm so sorry if there's mistakes, I'll fix them later. It's so late/early.
The poem that Rei recites in the end (and the name of the story) is The World Below The Brine by Walt Whitman. It's my headcanon that it is Haru's favourite poem and his grandmother used to read it to him when he was younger. Rei reads a lot to him, so he likes when Rei reads it to.
It's 11:43 at night and Haru can't sleep.
Most nights, he has trouble with it, always struggling to fall asleep but it never happens easily. He thinks he should get it checked out because, lately, it's been happening more often, enough though his body feels weighed down with lack of any slumber and he's always too tired to be doing anything. He's slacked on his projects, hasn't really done what he wanted to do around the house and the worst part -
- the worst part is how concerned Rei looks when he glances at him sometimes.
He's not dumb, he sees it. The emotion playing across his face, in his eyes, for a moment before he tries to shield it, covering it up and turning his face away. Haru knows he knows that he has trouble sleeping - he doesn't know why, it's always been this way - but he doesn't like when Rei worries about him. He feels like too much of a burden when Rei is distressed by his childish problems, (Rei who works too much and is stressed out way more than he is, who deserves a break and to be doted on and worried about), but even then, it doesn't stop him.
Ah, he hates being too much trouble and he doesn't ever, ever, want to load any emotional and mental problems he might have on Rei.
Sometimes he wonders why Rei stays around, why he seems to keep up with Haru when he can be difficult - and that's usually all the time because Haru hasn't drop his stubborn temperament since high school. He still has some of the same habits - eating too much mackerel and spending too much time in water - and while there some things he has changed, he knows that he can be too much, too much of handful.
(He often wondered the same thing about Makoto - why didn't he leave, why did he stay, why did he keep up with someone who doesn't deserve it and gives nothing back.)
He tries harder, with his relationship with Rei, because he had a history with Makoto, a friendship that was too concrete to break with too much in the past that kept them together, but he gets that his relationship with Rei is much more fragile, much more delicate than all the others.
And he's determined to work at it because he loves Rei too much to let him go and even after all these years with the two of them together, it's still hard for him to convey that with words and actions. He hopes Rei gets it, because he has a feeling that Rei sees him better and reads him better than he knows.
Haru shakes himself out of his thoughts when he realises that he's getting in too deep and takes a glance at the clock.
11: 51 PM.
He doesn't understand why he can't fall asleep, it would be so easy to just shut his eyes and try. But he doesn't, at least he can't, no matter how badly he attempts to.
Even now, though his eyelids feel heavy and his body is relaxed and buried underneath a pile of blankets - all warm and cozy - he can't seem to find his way to sleep, his mind won't stop, it won't stop thinking about nothing and everything and he vaguely wonders if there's still some sleeping pills in their medicine cabinet.
He doesn't check because he doesn't want to move, not out from the heat of the bed and not away from the soft snoring that drifts into his ear. He doesn't want to wake Rei up because even if he doesn't sleep, Rei does and he needs it.
Haru sighs softly, nuzzling his nose in blue hair, taking in the scent of clean linens and citrus, listening to the light breathing and feeling the puffs of air that breeze over the slope of his collarbone. Rei is tucked into him, body close to Haru's as far as it can go with tangled legs and forehead pressed against Haru's neck. They always sleep like this, even though Rei is slightly bigger and broader than Haru, it ends up with Rei curled around him, clinging to him in a way he only does when he's unconscious and Haru can't complain being this near to him. He feels the lump of Monarch at the bottom of the bed, looped around their feet and purring faintly.
He strains his eyes against the darkness of the room, the only light from the moon streaming in through the dusty blinds, and watches the view of Rei's chest rising and falling with each breath, the way his face looks so serene and young, the crease in his eyebrow isn't there like it usually is when he's frustrated or tense about something.
Haru has to swallow down the lump that forms in his throat - from too much late night thinking, from studying the way Rei sleeps - and presses the pad of his thumb to Rei's cheek, smoothing over the skin there. He sees the way Rei shifts in his sleep and hides his face more into the curve of Haru's neck, exhaling heavily before slumping back into the mattress. Haru smiles, the corners of his mouth turning up only a little before he weaves his fingers through his cobalt hair, threading them through the strands and scraping lightly at his scalp.
He stiffens when he hears the sleepy mumble of his name, small and low into the still air of the room as Rei lifts his head to look at him.
- or at least he attempts to, because his head falls back down against Haru's shoulder, too drowsy to keep it up. He struggles to keep his eyes open, yawning loud and wide, before turning to settle on his back for a better look at Haru.
"Are you still awake?" His speech is slurred, eyes drooping shut as Haru reaches over and brushes out the loose strands of hair falling into his eyes. He gives a low noise in agreement, hoping Rei doesn't keep himself awake when he really should get rest.
There's a few moments of silence and Rei's breathing slows down, Haru thinks he might be back asleep so he settles his head down and covers his face in the pillows.
"Are you okay?" Rei's voice breaks through the quiet again, a lot more clear and not as dazed as before. Haru makes the same noise in affirmation; it's cracked a bit this time because he hears the stupid worry in his tone, just like always.
He breathes in shakily when he feels Rei's arm snake around his waist, trying to pull him flush against him. They end up in the exact opposite position that they had started, Haru is cradled in the curve of Rei's body, head tucked under his chin and thighs pressed against each other. Haru curls his fingers into the fabric of Rei's t-shirt, burying his face into his clavicle, trying to hold himself together when Rei starts to rub circles onto Haru's back, near the base of his spine. The action is sluggish and slow, like he's still not quite awake and with the world.
Haru doesn't blame him, sleep sounds pretty good right now.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Rei asks, his murmur low in Haru's ear and all he can do is nod. He knows that Rei probably doesn't believe him, but Rei doesn't say anything, because he doesn't say anything that seems like he's pushing Haru or making Haru talk about anything he doesn't want to. Rei's too considerate for his own good.
"Can't fall asleep?"
Another nod to the question and Rei huffs, ruffling Haru's hair in the process. He shuffles a little, pulling away gently to look at Haru's face. He can see the outline of Rei in the dark and he knows that Rei can't see him very well because of the way he notices his eyes squint in the dark, he doesn't have very good eyesight when it comes to having his glasses off - or in the dark.
He lets out a tiny whimper and closes his eyes when Rei presses a light and off-center kiss to his lips, sighing softly against a closed mouth. Haru tightens his grip on Rei's shirt when Rei bumps their foreheads together, peeking open an eye to look at him when Rei presses another kiss to the tip of his nose. He notices how much affectionate Rei can get when he's sleepy and his mind isn't fully functioning (not to say that he doesn't get affectionate when awake, but it happens way more when he's drowsy like this).
"My mom used to read to me when I couldn't fall asleep," states Rei, a yawn seeping out of his lips again and he tries to close it off, to stop it but it happens anyway. It stabs at Haru's heart because Rei's forcing himself to stay up because he can't sleep, inconveniencing Rei when he didn't need to.
"... I'm not a kid, Rei."
Rei snorts out a laugh, rumbling and low against Haru's chest and he can feel it, the way his body shakes a little. "That doesn't mean anything, Haruka. I read to you all the time."
That's true, he likes listening to the way Rei's voice sounds when he's talking about some paper his student wrote or reads a passage from a book that he found, it's a nice sound, so soothing and deep.
Haru thinks about it for a moment, before hiding his face into Rei's neck and clears his throat. "... Will you?"
"What do you want?" Rei yawns again and Haru cringes, he hates the way the exhaustion flows through the pitch of his voice and how limp he feels against Haru.
"You know," Haru whispers against Rei's skin, nosing the junction of his shoulder and his neck and Rei shifts, winding his arms completely around Haru's hips. He can feel every hard line of his body, can feel the way his breath comes out slow and quiet, and can feel the smile that Rei tries to hide in his hair.
"Alright." There's a moment of silence as the two of them lay there, before Rei starts to talk, soft spoken and muffled against the side of Haru's head. "The world below the brine, forests at the bottom of the sea, the branches and the leaves..."
Haru closes his eyes, allowing himself to sink down into the mattress and listens to the way Rei's voice rolls over him and floats through his ears.
It's 12:21 in the morning and Haru finally falls asleep.
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