A little angst piece about Dean during the year between season 5 and 6, he needs Cas to come back, but the angel doesn't answer. Can be read as Destiel if you wish, can be read as only friendship if you prefer that.

I own none of the characters, because if I did, Destiel would be completely canon and explicitly shown in every episode.

Spoilers for the end of season 5 and what we know of what happens between the seasons.

ENJOY!

~SPN~

"CAS!" He shouts, screams a prayer for his angel to come back. "CAS! Please..." He drops to his knees, lifts the already half empty bottle to his lips. He hardly feels the burn of cheap whiskey anymore. "Cas, please..." He sobs, the gravel on the ground cutting into his knees, but he doesn't care, almost welcomes the pain. "Cas..." He whispers the name, voice hoarse from screaming for what feels like hours. "I need you..."

There is no answer. He doesn't know if it is because his angel doesn't care, or if he doesn't hear, does it really make a difference? Cas won't come, he knows it. He knew it when he left a confused Lisa, when he got in the car and drove away, way above the speed limit. He knew it when he stopped to buy the whiskey, he knew it when he took the first swig in the car. He knew it when he skidded to a stop at an abandoned parking lot, far out in the middle of nowhere. Cas won't come, Cas doesn't care. Cas doesn't hear.

He weeps, hanging his head. It's been half a year now. Half a year since he saw his brother disappear into the cage, half a year since he saw his angel for the last time. Half a year since his angel left without saying goodbye. Half a year of apple pie life, the life he always thought he wanted. So perfect on the surface, he has a beautiful woman and a great step son, he has a job, and it's the life any hunter secretly longs for.

But every day, he remembers. Half a year is nothing if you're mourning the person who meant the most to you all your life. And half a year is all too much when you need someone to come back to you, someone who never answers anymore.

"Cas..." His throat feels raw and sore, and he turns his face towards the night sky. The tears have stopped, and the bottle lies abandoned on the ground. "Cas, please..." It's not the first time he's prayed, not the first time he's shouted, but his angel is nowhere around, he gives no sign that he hears.

Dean buries his face in his hands and feels the gravel against his knees. He knows he should go back to Lisa, she must be worried sick, but he doesn't want to. All he wants is his angel to come back, at least to say goodbye.

But there is no flutter of wings, no gruff voice greeting him, no sign from Heaven. He sits alone, tears drying on his cheeks, gravel cutting into his knees.

He doesn't pray anymore, because he knows his angel won't come.

~ THE END ~

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