Ranma in Asao's Hollow
And the disclaimer: Ranma belongs to all them people that own them and are not dead.
Careful, because I'm pretty blaze here about death and silly stuff like that. And, ya know, I've got twentytwo characters, and none of them are invented, so you can rest assured. I am probably going to kill one of your favourite characters.
It was on a dark night
many resting from their daily plights
that one man,
got the most silly plan,
a delusional idea,
hoping it'll answer someone's plea,
lightning crashed,
rain clashed,
one aqua trans-sexual unaware,
a tomboy without care,
and a whole lot without despair,
would be tested on their control,
and on their judgement,
because for this one goal,
they'd have an awful lot of torment
in the horrors that'll follow
in Asao's Hollow.
"Tell me again why we're here?" Naibki really was not happy about this.
"This place is horrible. I'd really rather go back" Akane also really was not happy about this.
"Don't worry my spirited one, I will protect you. Just stay safe in my arms" Kuno was also not happy about this, but for different reasons.
"Hey you, you leave Akane alone, she doesn't like your sort" Ryoga had no idea were he was, but he knew wasn't happy about Kuno.
"oh my" if Kasumi was not happy about this, she at least hid it well.
"Oh nooo, what is going to happen to my daughters, they could get lost, or eaten. whyyy" Soun was probably the most explicit about his unhappiness, that, and he reminded people of the rain they just left home, only worse.
"grmlbl grmlbl" Genma as the others was also not happy, he really didn't like being a panda.
"Dearest, I hope you're not afraid. Bravery is manly" Nodoka hoped she didn't have to become unhappy about too many manly figures becoming scared.
"Quack quack" Mousse as others before him was unhappy, for quite the same reason as Genma.
"Son in law, you really have to explain yourself why you brought us here! This place is foul and evil" Cologne as many also was unhappy, but nobody understood why.
"What a horrible place this is! Why am I here? Where is Ranma? My darling was here yesterday." Kodachi was unhappy because she was stupid.
"This not be Hawaii. There be no beach, no coconuts, and no palm trees. This place be horrible" Principal Kuno was unhappy because he misread the tourist folder, or just plain didn't read it.
"My eyes are up here Daisuke" then we have Sayuri, who wasn't happy because Daisuke's sight was fifteen centimeters too low.
"Why are you wearing so many clothes? It's not that cold" Daisuke on the other hand was unhappy because, as much as he stared, he might as well have been staring at her belly, for all her clothes showed.
"Hiroshi, can't you tell that pervert of a friend of yours to stop looking at Sayuri's ehm… at Sayuri like that" Yuka was really unhappy about the absence of attention she got, but wouldn't admit that if her life depended on it.
"I just don't understand why he's got all the girls running behind him, even when he's a bloody she." Hiroshi didn't pay them any attention, and was unhappy about Ranma as always, getting all the girls.
"Change my name you horrible little midget" Taro was Taro… meaning unhappy.
"What's this…? Where are all the girls? Why aren't they lying outside sunbathing in skimpy bikinis?" Then we have Happosai who really had hoped that they wouldn't be the only ones here, and as such was unhappy.
"Kasumi. I'm going on a holiday with Kasumi" The good doctor was … well, he'd probably be unhappy because he was so out of it, that he didn't notice how happy he was.
"Shampoo, leave Ranma alone. If there is one thing we don't want, it's him again running of in the forest" then we have Ukyo, who was unhappy because Shampoo was chasing Ranma.
"Miaaaaaaaaaauw!!!!" Shampoo was unhappy because she was going at a very high speed up and down on Ranma's back. While she doesn't exactly mind, she really would hate to crash into one of those cabins.
"Aaaaah… Cat, Cat… get it off, get it off" Ranma was… not unhappy… maybe he would if he was not running as if the seven devils of the underworld were behind him, or in his case, a cat. So now, Ranma was just scared to death.
So an unhappy lot of 21 people and animals and one very scared female stood before the gates of Asao's Hollow, and lightning crashed in the grey clouds.
A sound bang was heard that somehow sounded like someone launching him or herself into a tree.
"Ouch Hell…" Ranma looked around to look where she was and found herself surrounded by trees.
"hmmm, I can't remember this being the destination" suddenly, she heard something, like a soft growling. Not loud or threatening, just a simple growl. Ranma peered into the forest, trying to locate the source, but couldn't find anything.
"Hey, Ranma come here. We're going to divide the cabins" Ranma turned and looked at Akane. She turned back to look into the forest, back to Akane, shrugged, and followed her.
"People, Hear me out, and listen to my words. I propose, no, I demand that I share a Cabin with my two beloved divines. Akane Tendo, The Pigtailed one, and myself will share a cabin. My Father and my Simpphhh…" Ranma pulled his elbow back from Kuno's stomach.
"Idiot. That's the last thing that'll happen."
"I as elder have an other proposition. Shampoo and Ranma will share a cabin. I and Mousse will take the one next to it. Shampoo could use Ranma's strong arms in this foul forest"
"Ayaah, how wonderful. Shampoo always be with Ranma in big scary forest" Shampoo, who already transformed herself to a more talkative form, jumped up and down in enthusiasm. Ranma looked at Shampoo and spluttered something but couldn't get out much.
"Well ehm…"
"Saotome, if you set one foot in the same cabin as my beloved, you're a dead man." Mousse was one of the many not so happy with these arrangements.
"And you know what happens if something happens during the night, don't you son in law?" at this, another flash was seen in the grey clouds. Perplexed, Ranma stared at the now calm clouds, then turned his attention back to matters at hand.
"No way in hell dried up monkey. I'm going…" suddenly, someone was patting Ranma happily on the shoulders.
"You're going to sleep with your cute fiancée of course. Otherwise, I'll have to sleep all alone, and I'd hate that, I'd be scared" Ukyo tried to let that last part sound as if she were frightened… it didn't sound convincing but then, Ranma's easily swayed. "you'll protect me, won't you Ranma" Ranma just stared awkwardly at Ukyo, not daring to disappoint her.
"euh…"
"Ranma, Don't you dare. You belong to our family, and you'll sleep in our cabin. I can hardly ever count on you, but at least let me count on your ever present freeloading abilities"
"Hey, that's not fa…"
"Ranma-chan will sleep with me"
"Ranma stay with Shampoo"
"Ranma, you'll die if you touch Shampoo"
"Ranma, how dare you string all these woman along" Ryoga was feeling a bit left out, and had to add something.
"Ranma stays with his family"
"Kasumi. oooh"
"Oh my, maybe I should help doctor tofu"
"I will sleep with my two angels"
"Hohohohoho, Ranma darling, where are you? I've got a cabin just for the two of us"
"I need Hawaiian Cabin"
"I'll offer myself to protect the girls and their silky darlings"
"hmm, wherever all you'll people sleep, I've got my camera with me"
"Silence commoners. We need a leader, a strong man, resolved and true for his cause, a man not afraid to judge, a true man, a mayor for this small village. And I hereby proclaim myself this title. I, the bleu thunder take this heavy burden on my shoulders and will carry all the responsibilities, and I will carry them out as any noble samurai would."
"Shut up, the only thing we'll proclaim you is toilet lady."
"Wouldn't that be better fit for you, Misses toilet lady?" Ryoga eyed Ranma challengingly.
"Hah, and we'll make you then dinner. Hope you don't run away when being beef. You know if your sense of orientation carries on after death?" Ranma instantly took a battle stance.
"What? You take that back right now." Ryoga followed Ranma suit.
"make me pig boy" But before the two could start fighting.
"Shampoo think Ranma should be mayor" Ranma being in the air, aiming a kick at Ryoga, stopped in mid air, and got kicked out of the air by Ryoga, and fell hard.
The redhead looked up in total shock out of her dirt made silhouette "What?"
"Hey, pretty good idea sugar. Ranma you be Mayor"
"But… what?"
"That would be so manly, being a mayor"
"huh? Manly? But I don't even know wh…"
My son a Mayor, I'm so proud, I trained you well
"Pop, shut up. The last thing you trained me for was to be some kind of stupid mayor"
"Of course, the future heir of the Tendo Dojo must be mayor"
Ranma turned around looking at Mr. Tendo
"Wha…? Noooo…" Ranma just didn't succeed getting out of his shock.
"hmmm, so easily manipulated. I vote for Ranma being Mayor, I'll then be his or her secretary"
"come on Naibki. Don't support me in this…"
"Oh my. Ranma to be a mayor, that would be so nice."
"Kasumi, noo" Ranma didn't found the strength to complain anymore as everyone, safe mousse, Ryoga and Tatewaki. Well, Kodachi didn't agree to let female Ranma be Mayor, but wished for her betrothed Ranma darling to be mayor, and she'd be mayor-lady and so forth… which came down on the same thing.
"would be a good training there son in law"
"Go Ranma, one of our classmates Mayor"
"Yeeey, go Ranma"
"I vote for Ranma"
"Lead our class to victory"
"humph, I don't care if misses lady girl becomes mayor or not"
"A mayor with silky darlings. Oh, that I can see this on my old age. Will you wear silky darlings Ranma when I vote for you?"
And so Ranma was made Mayor of Asao's hollow, against her protests. She'd fight it, if she knew what to fight. However not finding anyone she dropped her shoulders tried to look like a really upset pigtailed martial artist, succeeded with flying colours and gave up protesting.
It wasn't as if people actually ever listened to her, not when she'd try to explain a most peculiar and awkward situation or of course when they'd try to make her mayor. All the same, all so bloody messed up was the only thing she'd comment on this.
Luckily Kuno protested, which made Ranma happy to no end. Someone who did listen to him, and was against him being mayor, and someone to lose some frustration on. And so we find Kuno discovering Asao's hollow orbit.
However, as mayor Ranma has to decide where everyone slept, and this is what he had chosen.
http://members.lycos.nl/hellonearth/Asaoshollow.jpg
Cabin 1
Ranma Saotome
Nodoka Saotome
Genma Saotome
Cabin 2
Akane Tendo
Nabiki Tendo
Kasumi Tendo
Soun Tendo
Cabin 3
Shampoo
Mousse
Cologne
Cabin 4
Ukyo Kuonji
Ryoga Hibiki
Cabin 5
Tatewaki Kuno
Kodachi Kuno
Principal Kuno
Cabin 6
Daisuke
Sayuri
Hiroshi
Yuka
Cabin 7
Taro
Happosai
Cabin 8 (medical facility)
Doctor Tofu.
Cabin D
Dining hall + Kitchen
And so twenty-two people had their cabins assigned to them. None of them particularly happy, nor any one of them really unhappy. Though no one wanted to be really near Cabin seven, as two of the most weird and deformed people lived their. One mentally, the other, at times, physically.
And thus everyone went to their respective cabins; everyone arranged their rooms, their sleeping places, some people had a hard time doing that, others didn't. But in the end, everyone went to bed.
And while everyone was more or less peacefully sleeping, a little naked fellow with wings and a toy-bow came flying by, and listened to the hearts of the inhabitants.
"Shampoo needs Ranma. Needs to make strong children. Shampoo wants Ranma's children, and Shampoo wants Ranma's love."
"I'd love Ranma like no one else could, I'd do anything for him. Anything. Ranma, just be with me please. I love you some much honey"
"Ranma you jerk"
"Yen, Yen, Yen"
"Oh Doctor Tofu, How I wish you were now in my bed and…. Oh my"
"Shampoo, why don't you understand, I love you, we belong together"
"Oh, Akane, will I ever dare say my longing? Shall I ever hold you again? Will we date one more time?"
"Oh Akane, spirited one, oh Pigtailed girl, fiery tigress. You love me both, and I love you both"
"ohohohohohoho, Ranma my darling, you'll be mine, all mine, with or without your consent"
"oh silk, silk, darling. I love it, my precious silk. My silky darlings"
"Kasumi, Kasumi, Kasumi, Kasumi, Kasumi, Kasumi"
"Why… Sayuri, lock door, and kick me? She beautiful … body"
"I'll give you all the attention you want Yuka"
"My body, or my soul? Who will say Dai?"
"Hiroshi, help me explain"
"mmm… Red hair, actual breasts… hmm I look the best. But, besides myself… I… I think I love …"
And cupido's little cute head felt like it'd explode in a not so cute manner..
Poor Cupid got horribly upset when he heard all those hearts calling out, so many, and most of all so totally insane. It was like with them bloody Greeks, and their gods, only these people were serious about it and even more complicated. What was wrong with them?
This wasn't working, this was slavery, the Union would hear of this. How could they send him of to these, these… Barbarians of love, lunatics? Couldn't they make this place off limits or something? Like,… like with that Nerima district. No one of his service was allowed anywhere near there.
And with that, the little disgruntled angel went off.
Did everyone sleep? Maybe, maybe not. Eventually though, everyone indeed did sleep… except one, who, simple put, was dead. Some might say she or he is sleeping forever… but then that is a very poor sleep indeed. Besides, it's not as if you see much of his or hers sleeping form… or her/his form anyway. And to say that a heap of bones and flesh was sleeping the eternal sleep, that would be silly, not too mention sick.
So none of that silly romantic stuff, it didn't sleep, it was a gruesome heap of tasteless stuff.
Authors notes:
I forgot, was Taro every in the anime? Oh well, doesn't matter.
Oh… I just found out Ukyo didn't actually know about Ryoga's curse… ehm, mistake on my part. Just ehm… imagine Ukyo having discovered about Ryoga in one of her plots to couple Ryoga and Akane.
And I know it'd be nice to read about how Sayrui, Daisuke, Hiroshi and Yuka would divide their cabin, and the fight that would follow. Or how the Tendo's, or the Saotomes did that. But then… that's not the point of this story.
The only thing I can say is… feel inspired, and warn me if you're going to write anything alike. I love horror stories.
Oh yeah, don't know if it allowed, but I added a picture so you know a bit how they live (the link), Didn't found anything in the rules that disallowed adding pictures.
Before anyone draws conclusions from the link; I'm not Dutch. (not that there is anything wrong with you guys)