Akatsuki
The Musical!
Written by: I'm Not Telling You My Name
Songs by: Numerous Artists
Ideas: Two are from Random Fan Flashes
Itachi(female role)
Kisame(male role)
Tobi(male)
Deidara(female)
Pein(male)X6
Sasori(male)
Konan(female)
Itachi- So board.
Kisame- So board.
Pein- Yes.
Kisame- Any bright ideas?
Deidara- Just working on my art, un.
Pain- Tobi.
Tobi- No, but Tobi is a good boy.
Itachi- Sasori?
Sasori- None here.
Kisame- Let's ask questions.
Itachi- Good idea, what if you and I sang?
Kisame- We'd sing Superstar.
Itachi- Like we will now?
Kisame- What?
—Superstar—
Itachi-
I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!
I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!
—Rave dancing by all—
Itachi-
Got many money honey, I'm a superstar,
My life is funny honey, Have you seen my car?
I know a lot of people, I'm a superstar,
Everybody know me, Right from near to far.
Itachi-
I got a plane
Kisame-
Got a plane
Itachi-
I love the fame
Kisame-
Love the fame
Itachi-
You know my name.
Kisame-
Know my name.
Both-
And I just want you to know!
Itachi-
I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!
I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!
Kisame-
I got a red Ferrari, I'm a superstar,
I really like to party, Am I cool or what?
I love a lot of women (arm around an angry Deidara), I'm a superstar,
Star's got a freaky living, That's the way we are.
Itachi-
I got a plane
Kisame-
Got a plane
Itachi-
I love the fame
Kisame-
Love the fame
Itachi-
You know my name.
Kisame-
Know my name.
Both-
And I just want you to know!
Itachi-
I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!
I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!
—Rave—
Itachi-
I got fortune, I got fame,
Love it when you say my name.
Love to party, I am naughty,
Prettier than everybody!
Kisame-
I got muscles, I'm a stud,
Jealous people kiss my butt,
I'm so fly I'll make you cry,
Cross my heart and hope to die.
Itachi-
I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!
I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!
I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!
I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!
—Everyone Dancing—
Pein- (walks in)
Kisame- (Screams)
Pein- How about you, Deidara?
Deidara- What if we worked for Robin Hood, un?
Tobi-We'd be Men in Tights.
Deidara- Let's sing, un!
–Men in Tights–
(Tobi, Deidara, and the 6 Peins come out wearing tights under their open Akatsuki robes)
All 8- We're men, we're men in tights.
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!
We're men, we're men in tights,
Always on guard defending the people's rights.
[Dance number, chorus line style
We're men, MANLY men, we're men in tights. Yeah!
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
(A Pain punches another in the face)
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights.
We're men, we're men in tights (TIGHT tights),
Always on guard defending the people's rights.
When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!
We're butch.
Konan- What are you guys doing?
Kisame- Being board.
Sasori- And asking What If?'s!
Konan- Fine then, what if I were a rock star?
Pein- I'd be the back up dancers.
Kisame- Sing, sing, sing, sing!
(All others join in)
–real Emotion–
(Konan is wearing Yuna's Songtress dressphere on a small stage built for talent night with the word 'talent' scratched out and Pein is being the 6 backup dancers Itachi is on drums, and Sasori is on the guitar and Kisame on bass with Deidara on the keyboard)
Konan-
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
I can hear you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
Far beneath the hazy boarders of my heart
I could see a place
It's something like this
Every now and then I don't know what to do
Still I know that I
Can never go back
All the things I've seen
In those hazy dreams
Can't compare to what I now
Every thing's so different
That it brings me to my knees
And though, I know, the world of Real Emotion
Has surrounded me
I won't give into it
Now I know, that forward
It is the only way my heart can go
I hear your voice calling out to me
You'll never be alone
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
I can hear you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
I don't plan on looking back on my own life
I don't ever plan
To rely I on you
Even if by chance everything should go wrong
You come in one day
And try to save me
If from time to time
It's an upward climb
All I know is that I must believe
Cause the truth I'm seeking
Always was inside of me
And when, I find, the world of Real Emotion
Has surrounded me
The many things that you
Taught me then
Will always be enough to get me through the pain
Because of you I am strong enough
To know I'm not alone
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for youWhat can I do for you
I can hear you
And if, I find, the real world of emotion
Has surrounded me
And I can't go on
And you are there
The moment that I close my eyes
You comfort me
We are connected
For all of time
I'll never be alone
And oh, I know, the world of Real Emotion
Has surrounded me
I won't give into it
Now I know, that forward
Is the only way my heart can go
I hear your voice calling out to me
You'll never be alone
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
I can hear you
Tobi- What if Tobi said that Tobi was a bad boy?
Konan- You'd be bad to the bone.
Tobi- Tobi's turn to sing a song now!
(Tobi is wearing a zoot suit on stage dancing with Konan in a dress)
On the day I was born, the nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder, at the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up, and she said leave this one aloneShe could tell right away, that I was bad to the bone
Bad to the boneBad to the bone
B-B-B-B-Bad to the bone
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
Bad to the bone
I broke a thousand hearts, before I met you
I'll break a thousand more baby, before I am through
I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone
I'm here to tell ya honey, that I'm bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-Bad
Bad to the bone
I make a rich woman beg, I'll make a good woman steal
I'll make an old woman blush, and make a young girl squeal
I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone
I'm here to tell ya honey, that I'm bad to the bone
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
B-B-B-B-Bad
Bad to the bone
Konan- Pein-kun don't be jealous.
Pein- (turns away) Go away.
Konan- Do you still know what I like about you?
Pein- No.
Konan- Well.
(This is parodied by myself)
Konan- What I like about you
Pein- You make me cranes.
Konan- Oh, tell me we'll be the only ones
Pein- Gonna be in the lair tonight.
Both- Yeah
Konan- Keep on whispering in my ear
Pein- How we'll kill everyone here.
Konan- Yes, it's true
Pein- That's what I like about you
Konan- What I like about you
Pein- My Renningon?
Konan- That and your big sweet romantic side
Itachi- Awww
Pein- Keep on whispering in my ear
Konan- How we'll kill everyone here.
Pein- Yes, it's true
Konan- That's what I like about you.
Pein- That's what I love about you
Konan- That's what I love about you.
Both- (while kissing) Mmmmm (break kiss) (Konan brushes her robes and Pein scratches the back of his head) Right.
Pein- What I love about you.
Konan- Your warm touch at night.
Pein- Just like last night?
Konan- Oh, yeah, all night.
Pein- Keep on whispering in my ear
Konan- How we'll kill everyone here.
Pein- Yes, it's true
Konan- That's what I like about you.
Pein- That's what I love about you
Konan- That's what I love about you.
Pein- Let's go
Konan- Don't come in.
Tobi- Tobi's getting a camera
Deidara- (holding Tobi by shirt collar) No Tobi's not, un.
Itachi- Konan! Pein! Final number then you can hop on the good foot and do the bad thing!
Konan- Fine.
Pein- Sure.
Kisame- What if we were sailors?
All-So if we all come together
We know what to do
We all come together just to sing,
"We love you."
And if we all come together
We know what to do
We all come together just for you.
Itachi-Racing all around the seven seas
Chasing all the girls
And making robberies
Causing panic everywhere they go
Party-hardy on Titanic
Kisame-Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing
Drinking, drinking, till the ship is sinking
Gambling, stealing,
Lots of sex-appealing
Itachi-Come on let's sing 'The Sailor Song'
All-So if we all come together
We know what to do
We all come together just to sing,
"We love you."
And if we all come together
We know what to do
We all come together just for you.
Pein- To my room!
Konan- Come in and we'll kill you!
Itachi- Well I sure hope you loved our show.
Kisame- Who are you talking to?
Itachi- I don't know
Deidara- You're all pains, un.
Tobi- Why did all six Peins go into the room?
Deidara- I'll tell you later, un.