THE LAST TO KNOW
I watched the walls around me crumble
But it's not like I won't build them up again
So here's your last chance for redemption
So take it while it lasts 'cause it will end
And my tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye
Alana Huffman watched the rain from her second story bedroom of her parent's home. It was unmerciful, much like the salty tears that fell from her blue eyes. How could a broken heart hurt so much? Why did she have to endure such sorrow after so much love? How could she go on with the family they created when the one person she loved the most left her without turning back?
In the beginning her young life had been full of love and happiness. Days were filled with passion and ecstasy as Alana and Dean secretly met one another at an old cabin unused by its owners for years. There they would talk about their lives, their differences but in the end fall madly in love all over again.
So what caused them to break like they did? How could a small secret take all the happiness she had and tear it apart? Why did she keep the secret after all these years? Maybe she was the last to know after all.
I can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I'm dreamin' about you
Honestly tell me that it's over
Alone in the darkness their hearts became one but during the day when she was at school she had to endure the taunts the others made about her dating an older man. Like she cared that he was a bit older then she? But to those who made fun of her, they thought that they would never last.
Why couldn't she get enough of him? Though he couldn't live without her since she was the light in his darkness. But those days were slowly coming to an end and Alana could feel the pain in her heart.
Days turned into weeks and weeks into months and then a year passed quickly and their love became ever-ending. He proposed to her, she said yes and their happiness could be seen in their faces as they looked lovingly into each other's eyes.
'Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over
A few months later Alana found out that she was going to have a baby and at seventeen she knew the smirks would be on her. No one in this town got pregnant at such a young age and she would endure the lectures from adults about her being too young to be a mother. She would defy them all and carry the child full term. But as she approached her second trimester she would become friends with a girl that didn't play by the rules.
Crimson Richmond was a bit older then Alana but knew the hell the poor girl was going through and took matters into her own hands. When Alana's parents turned their backs on their daughter she stepped into their place. The both of them kept the pregnancy a secret from Dean but they knew that it wouldn't last.
Her engagement to Dean faltered and they went their separate ways, she felt unhappy and gave up on all that she cared about. Months went by and soon Alana was having her daughter Shiara Huffman. At 6 lbs, 3 oz. the babe was a joy in her mother's eyes. But the more Alana looked to her daughter, the more she saw Dean in her.
"What am I going to do Crimson? What if he doesn't want the baby?"
Crimson hugged her friend and whispered, "If he doesn't want the child, then he is a fool. If he loves you, he will love the both of you."
Alana hugged her friend, without her the days would have been lonely.
And I'll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know
Months passed and little Shiara grew to a toddler. But the emptiness that was inside of Alana began to burn deep inside of her. What would she do if Dean didn't want her or the child? How would she support herself and the child when she made her way to college?
The love for Dean was everlasting but the separation began to gnaw at Alana as weeks passed. What more could she do but forget that he ever existed? But that wouldn't last as she began to call his cell, just to hear his voice. Had he moved on and found someone else? Did he hate her that much that he left her without a word?
"I screwed up Shiara. I pushed away your father and now I am paying the price."
I won't be the one to chase you
But at the same time you're the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
And the more I try to feel the less I'm whole
She called his cell again and found it disconnected. She began to cry hysterically and smashed anything that had dealt with them. Why did he give up on her? Why had she had to endure such misery?
"Oh Crimson, what shall I do?"
Crimson would comfort her friend like she had done from the beginning. What more could she do?
"Everything will be alright Alana. We'll get through this."
Alana sunk to her knees and sobbed, the only true happiness she had was gone and she was left with nothing. Her tears burned as she reflected on the past, but her heart wouldn't let Dean go.
My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye
That summer on her eighteenth birthday she was happy for once when Crimson threw her a little birthday party. She had invited the people that meant the most to each girl, but as of late, friends of Crimson.
"Thank you for the lovely party." Alana gushed as she opened her gifts surprised that many of them remembered her favorite things.
But as the night drew closer, the party ended and all her guests left. She was alone now except for Shiara upstairs sleeping in her crib. She picked up the living room and deposited the garbage when the doorbell rang at the front door. Not knowing who was there, she walked to the door and peeked through the peep hole. What she saw took her breath away.
Dean.
What was he doing here? What did he want? Did he know of Shiara? The thoughts wondered endlessly in her mind. But she composed herself and opened the door slowly. There he was in his glory, his spiked black hair and emerald green eyes and his black attire that he always wore.
"Dean?" she cried.
All the feelings she thought she had forgotten came crashing back as she fell into his arms and held him close. His musk felt so familiar as he wrapped her arms around her and hugged her.
"Oh Alana, how I've missed you." he whispered into her hair.
"Where have you been?" she asked.
Dean looked away for a moment, almost as if he didn't want to talk about where he'd gone.
"Dean?"
"I had to go away Alana, let's leave it at that."
So they began to talk on the steps of the front porch, the darkening clouds looming over them as a storm headed their way. Nothing could take this moment away, nothing...
I can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I'm dreamin' about you
Honestly tell me that it's over
He looked into her eyes and slowly began to kiss her on the lips. For the first time on over two years she felt the love that had built their relationship into what it was now. But as she ached deeply inside, the feeling of dread washed over her.
'Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I'll be the first to go
A baby began to cry and Dean pulled away from the kiss. He looked at her oddly before asking, "What's that?"
Alana bit her lower lip, "Our daughter Shiara."
Dean looks at her in horror.
Yeah and I'll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know
over over over
"Get away from me Alana." he said harshly.
"Dean, please let me explain!" she cried.
"No, I should've never come back."
"Dean?"
"Goodbye Alana." he said and climbed to his feet before taking off to his car and speeding off down the road. He never looked back as the tears fell from her eyes.
My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye
The rain began to fall as the skies opened up, much like the tears that fell down her face. How could she lose Dean again? What had she done so terribly wrong for him to leave her like he did?
"I can't take this anymore." she cried and ran into her home and upstairs to her room.
She began trashing her room as she smashed anything that meant something to them. She would not get hurt again; this was the end of what they had cherished.
"I HATE HIM!" she cried.
She fell to her knees by the bed and whimpered the pain inside her heart burned as she hugged herself.
Can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I'm dreamin' about you
Honestly tell me that it's over
Shiara whimpers as Alana gets to her feet and walks over to her crying daughter. She picks up her daughter and holds her; the comfort she feels is weak as she realizes that Shiara is all she has left of Dean. How could he deny such a beautiful child like she? What was wrong with him to leave her like he did?
'Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over
Tell me that it's over
Over
Honestly tell me
Honestly tell me
Don't tell me that it's over
Don't tell me that it's ooverrrrr
"I'm moving on, I don't need him or anyone to be the mother I was meant to be." she said and held her daughter close as the rain fell and she moved on in her life.
Lindsay Lohan's "Over"