Chapter 1

A/N: I'm in the process of reading the books, so some of my facts may be wrong because I haven't gotten to the barricades part yet, so sorry! But, this is my first Les Misearbles fan fic, so I hope you like it! I'm currently juggling 3 stories, but it's summer, so i'll update weekly. ENJoy! (hahaha)

***Enjolras's P.O.V***

San Michelle. I hadn't been here since… since the barricades nearly a decade ago. With my head down, I walked down the streets. The city had changed, and not for the better. Countless children ran about the city, even more poor people than there ever was sat on the curbs begging for money, drunks glared on me… and then I passed it.

My head was facing down, but I had stopped and my arm was subconsciously pressing on something, trying to open… I looked up and realized where I was. I was at the café where we used to hold the Le' Amis de l'ABC meetings; the ABC café. I hadn't even realized that I was trying to open the boarded up door… it was a force of habit.

Quickly, as if I had been stung, I recoiled and looked at the ABC café. The windows and doors were boarded up. I craned my head to look up and saw the upper story windows boarded up as well; where we used to meet. It had been shut down ages ago.

Gasping, I crawled back into an alley behind the café, and leaned against the wall. I was hyperventilating; a panic attack that was usually triggered when I recalled something about the barricades. I couldn't breath, yet I didn't even care, I was too busy remembering…

I had led them to their deaths; every single one of my friends, of the men who had helped. I should have been the first or the last to die at the barricades; if everyone else died, I should have been with them! But I lived, and it didn't seem fair at all.

"Forgive me friends, for I live and you do not," I gasped, hardly able to find the breath to say it.

The world felt like it was spinning, yet all I saw was their faces. Grantaire… Feuilly… Joly… Corfeyrac… Bahorel… and the most painful; Combeferre, and Eponine. Eponine and I had spent only one night together… the night before the barricades. While I wasn't looking, while I wasn't protecting her, she got shot, and when I finally realized it she was near death… we took her to Joly once she had passed, but I heard that they both died; the king's armies found them and they were killed.

Recalling this, I crumpled to the floor, dropping my suitcase; I was freaking out. Small footsteps came near me, and next thing I knew, a small hand was in mines.

"What's wrong, Monsieur?" a voice asked.

"Panic… attack…" I grunted.

"Okay, breathe. Take deep breaths. What caused it?" he asked.

Shaking my head, I felt tears roll down my cheek. He squeezed my hand, bringing me back to reality and slowly, but surely, his calm words 'Everything is okay, breathe, it's all right,' calmed me down. When I was finally calm, I stood up and looked down at the little boy who helped me.

Immediately, my jaw dropped lower than the ground. I couldn't find the words, but I just stared at him and he was staring back at me. It couldn't be…

"G, Gavroche?" I gasped.

The little boy's eyes widened in response; it was his name. Immediately he ran; I suppose his ghost didn't want me seeing him and wanted me to think he was some other little boy, but I noticed! I grabbed my suitcase and chased after him screaming his name, and I averted my eyes as we passed by the café.

I chased him into a small street, and he rounded another corner screaming for his mother. When I turned the corner as well, I saw him in a woman's arms, her long brown hair covering her face as she put her arms around him.

He must have told her I was chasing him, because her head snapped up at me. Our eyes met, my heart beat twice as fast; force of habit as well. You see, I was looking straight into the eyes of Eponine. She was wearing finer clothes than the last time I saw her; perhaps in heaven they had given her nicer clothes… now she was wearing a clean, blue dress-the same shade she always wore- that fit her properly. Her hair was not in a mess of tangles and cleanly brushed. Gavroche had on a light green coat with a clean shirt underneath and brown pants. They were clean, and well taken care of, and not as thin as they were when they were alive. After only a few seconds of staring, she screamed.

My eyes shut painfully; this must have been the scream that she had screamed when the king's armies shot her. My shaky hands flew to my ears to block out the sound, but after she screamed for a few seconds she stopped. Hesitantly, my eyes flew open and then I saw Joly staring back at me, his hand on Gavroche's shoulder, and Eponine standing behind him, staring at me from her head poking out of his side. That's when I lost it. Screaming, I threw my suitcase down, and I fell to the floor on my knees.

"Why do you tease me?!" I screamed to the sky, tears streaming down my cheeks, "They're gone! Why? Why did they have to die?!"

A rough hand on my shoulder stopped my screaming. My eyes followed the arm up until I met Joly's eyes. He was wearing a white shirt without his brown coat I last saw him in. Terrified, I grabbed his arm and patted him down.

"You feel so real," I moaned, tearing up again.

"I am," he said, "Now shut up. You're scaring Gavroche."