"Now Your Thinking With Portals" Pewdiecry
by Amber Aber
Cry's (Ryan's) POV
I woke up from my usual dream. It always starts with me playing a game with Felix, him winning and I being a sore loser. Then he would say
"Don't worry Cry, because in the end you won my heart." Cheesy huh? Yeah, I know. Then I would say
"Wha-what about Marzia?" and he would say
"She isn't you Cry. I love you." I would say I loved him and then I would wake up. Every damn time. This morning I woke up grumpily and shook my hair before getting up to have my breakfast. Lucking charms, but somehow I wasn't feeling very lucky right now. Today Pewds and I would be playing more Portal 2 and while I couldn't wait to hear the Swede's voice, I am worried that I would be able to hide my feeling yet again. I have said things before in past videos but, thank goodness, he dismissed them as jokes. I try to keep my feelings inside but he is just so easy to talk to that sometimes I let things slip.
I got back to my computer and pulled up the Portal 2 server and sure enough, an icon popped up that read "Pewdiepie's Online". My heart lurched when I read his name. Why do I let him make me feel like this? How did this go from a simple friendship to me falling head over heels in love?! I wasn't even gay before I met him! But now, apparently, his name just has to pop up and I go crazy. It's getting harder and harder to control my feelings, not just of love, but of jealousy. Yes, I will openly admit, I am jealous of that damn bitch Marzia. Don't get me wrong, I am sure she is nice and all but she does not deserve him. I don't know why but a gut feeling has been telling me that she will hurt him.
The message box popped up with a message from Felix.
"Hey Ryan, ready for more portals?"
"Fuck no!" I replied, half lying, half telling the truth. Mentally I could hear his deep chuckle.
"Goddamn it Cry!" Pewds typed.
"Yea I'm ready." I replied. I put on my headphones and waited to hear pewdie's voice.
"Cry?" The swede asked gently.
"No, its Toby." I replied with sarcasm. He started laughing, which sent shivers down my spine.
"Cry, you just gave us our intro." Pewds said happily. He didn't lie either. He started the video with trying to say Tobuscus' intro of blackness. then redness, then whiteness, but failed miserably. I laughed hardily and we started trying to figure out what to do. We made it through the first opening and realized that one of us had to die and go back where we started. I saw Pewds go near the edge and my heart started to beat fast. What the hell?! Why am I getting worked up because of a game suicide?! I knew there was no real danger but something in me went primal.
"It was nice fighting with your side man." Pewds said while eying the water.
I snapped.
I ran towards him with P-body and said, "I love you."
My heart thundered in my chest and I realized what I had just done. I actually said that I loved him... this was not they way I planned on telling him. Oh god, what would he say?! My mind was putting itself through hell. Then something odd happened. Same old, oblivious Pewds just started laughing. I was being sincere and actually meant what I said but he couldn't tell.
"I didn't expect you to say that." Pewdie said. I mocked laughing and let him continue.
"You were supposed to say, uh, don't do that. What ever you do man it's just worth living." Pewds finished. I couldn't help but getting a little angry with him. I just confessed my love for him and he says I wasn't supposed to say that?! Okay, I get that this is Felix here and he isn't the most... brilliant person around, sure, but I couldn't help but feel a little hurt.
"Go kill yourself right now." I said coldly.
"Come on, fuck you." He said while laughing, and jumped into the pool of murky water. I laughed, a little too maniacally when he did so too. He then respawned and said,
"Alright, here we go."
"Let's do it." I said positively.
"You ready for this?" Pewds asked. I, being a little cocky in the fact that he thinks my love is a joke, laughed and said,
"I'm ready for anything you can throw at me."
"I can throw a lot of things man." Pewdie said. I felt my self blush furiously when he said this. Maybe I was imagining this, but somehow I felt that there was an undertone in his voice that meant he was hiding something.
Pewdie's (Felix's) POV
Cry said he loved me... okay, I know he meant it like a joke but it still made my heart beat like a drum. I felt the color go to my cheeks as I said that I didn't expect that. I was being honest, because I wasn't about to say that I loved him on my channel's video. I know that I can't deny my feelings toward the sultry-voiced man but many bros still love Marzia and I didn't have the heart to tell the bros that she...cheated. I found out yesterday morning... her phone beeped and I thought it was a phone call and answered it. Normally I wouldn't have answered her phone but she was out and we were expecting to hear from her parents.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Ciao, chi รจ questo? Dove si trova Marzia?" a male voice answered.
"Uh...Felix...no...speaka...the italiano." I said a bit confused. Lucky for me, or unlucky I guess, he spoke english.
"Who is this? Where is Marzia?" The man asked.
"She is out shopping. I'm Felix but who are you?" I asked.
"I am Lorenzo, Marzia's boyfriend. What, are you her brother?" He asked. I let the phone drop to the ground. I tried to process this, but it was just too much. She, my girlfriend of two years, cheated on me. Now that I think about it, it makes a lot of sense. The unexplained calls, the long periods without talking, the murmuring coming from her room when I was playing games. I guess she had to be doing something while I played games all day. A jingling of keys brought me from my thoughts. Then she came through the door.
"Hey Felix, I bought you some food!" She said happily. She must have seen my expression and then said,
"Hey Felix, are you alright?"
"M-Marzia..." I stuttered.
"Yea Felix?" She asked.
"Why..." I asked quietly, not paying attention to anything but my confusion and hurt.
"What? What did I-" She started and then say the phone. She must have recognized the number because she started to make up some stuff on the spot.
"Oh don't worry about Lorenzo, he is nothing, an old friend, a brother really."
"He is your boyfriend, Marzia." I said coldly.
"What?! No, you are silly!" She said cutely but nervously.
"Marzia, I know I am not the best when it come to problem solving in games, or puzzles either, but I am not stupid." I said while looking into her eyes. She stopped what she was trying to say and then looked at the ground.
"Marzia, I... I trusted you..." I said quietly.
Silence.
"Marzia, why did you... why did..." I started.
"Because you are always away! Your stupid games are all you care about! I don't matter! And besides, its not like you haven't been cheating on me!" She shouted.
"Wha? What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"Don't be an idiot Felix! You and Ryan! You love him way more than you love me!" She shouted.
"I-I don't l-love Cry!" I said shocked.
"You can't lie to me Felix! I lived with you for two years! I see the way your eyes light up when you talk about him! The way you blush when the two of you play games! Face it Felix, you are gay and love that poor excuse of a man Ryan!" She shouted. That's when I got furious.
"Marzia, you can trash me all you fucking want but don't you dare say a thing about Ryan! He is kind, sweet and has done nothing to harm you! It's not his fault I lo-like him! He has been nothing but kind to you. I know I am an idiot, but I know well enough to not trash someone who has done nothing to me!" I screamed.
More silence.
She tried to apologize but I couldn't stand it. I got up, packed, and left the house for a hotel. When I got to the room I sent Cry a quick message to tell him we were playing Portal in the morning. I know, I didn't think it through but I was so hurt. I needed someone to talk to, even if it was the man who was, supposedly, the cause of our breakup. But I didn't worry about that then, I just needed to sleep.
In the dream I was playing a game with cry and I won. He then became a sore loser and started to make up excuses. I laughed and looked into his eyes.
"Don't worry Cry, because in the end you won my heart." I said.
"Wha-what about Marzia?"He would say.
"She isn't you Cry. I love you." and I woke up. It was really early morning when I woke with the start. Me... being in love with... Ryan? Now that I started thinking about it all the signs were there. I used to even feel guilty about the way I felt when I heard his voice; I would flush and get butterflies. He made me feel what I used to feel with Marzia, but stronger. I am... in love... with my best friend...
I just have to try my best to not make this awkward with him not being gay and I being in love with him. My work is cut out for me bros.
"Go kill yourself right now." Cry said laughing. I broke away from my brooding and started to play again. Him and I made small talk as we tried to figure out the map. I some how got an achievement but I didn't stop to look at it. Not long after that, we finished the map.
The next map looked awesome! It had that gel stuff! I started laughing a little when I heard how much Cry and I got excited over it. Cry then placed a portal to make the goo fly backwards and he called it art. Felling a bit more bold, after all I did just get cheated on, I said,
"Ooh, I love bloby stuff. Did you know I like bloby stuff Cry? Did you know I like bloby stuff?" I asked slyly. Cry started to stutter.
"No..."Cry said quietly. Apparently he caught the undercurrent of my phrase so I quickly changed the subject to get back to the task at hand. He then failed when trying to get the goo over to the correct drop spot.
"I tried my best." Cry said jokingly.
"Well, as long as you try your best Cry then its all that matters to m-... people." I said. I started to say me, but I felt I might be rushing him. Luckily for me, he didn't seem to notice and we carried on. I, somehow, made my way to the other side without dying. I then figured out how to get the goo on the wall behind me.
"You know, you really are very smart. People don't give you enough credit." Cry said sincerely. I felt my self blush a little and I tried to shrug it off. But I couldn't help but smile, he actually thinks I'm smart.
I made it to the top and then we realized, there was no way for him to get up. Cry, being the smart, handsome man he is, figured everything out without my help.
"Do you need me for anything?" I asked.
"No, just stand there and look beautiful." Cry said calmly. I then made a completely goofy face to the camera, hoping to disguise the happiness of him calling me beautiful. Wait... was he... flirting?! No, no that has to just be my imagination. He started talking through his actions and I just agreed with whatever he said, mostly because I was thinking about... other things. I forget what was said but we just started giggling. His laugh... it just make me smile so much. I want to make him laugh, always.
We finished the map without difficulty. I couldn't hold it in any longer, I had to know if he loved me.
"Cry?" I asked sheepishly.
"Yea Pewds?" Cry said with his beautiful, deep voice.
"Back there... when you said you loved me-"
"Oh yeah that, uh, that was just, uh, you know, uh-" Cry started.
"Cry." I said firmly.
"Yes?" He said, almost in a whisper.
"Did you mean it? When you said you loved me?" I asked without any emotion in my voice. Silence.
"Cry, please." I asked nicely.
"...P-promise not to hate me?" Cry said sheepishly.
"Cry, I could never hate you." I said honestly.
"...Yes Felix... I... meant it..." Cry said with a whimper.
Cry's (Ryan's) POV
There. It was out there. But I needed him to know its okay if he didn't love me back, which it wouldn't be, but he didn't have to know.
"B-but if you d-don't love me or even l-like me back that is okay, I mean, if you do that's great. That would be amazing! But I don't want this friendship to be over because of me and my stupid-"
"CRY!" Pewds shouted. I shut up.
"Cry listen..." Pewds started. Then he started to laugh, and laugh, and laugh. I couldn't control my anger.
"You son of a bitch! You think this is funny! Well screw you and your damn Italian girlfriend!" I shouted on the brink of tears. Pewds stopped immediately.
"Ryan.." Pewds said quietly. Hearing him say my real name sent shivers down my spine.
"Y-yes Pewds?" I asked quietly.
"I dumped Marzia. I was just laughing about that." Pewdie said flatly.
"W-what?" I asked confused.
"She cheated. With some guy named Lorenzo." He said calmly.
"Felix... I am so sorry. That bitch! I knew something like that was going to happen with her!" I growled. That fucking bitch. How could she hurt such a perfect man?! I couldn't live with myself if I did anything to hurt him!
"But it doesn't matter." Pewds said quietly.
"Yes it does! All this time I thought I was competing with her, then I was devastated when she won you. And now that bitch hurt you and I couldn't do a thing about it!" I ranted.
"Don't worry Cry, because in the end you won my heart." Pewds said sweetly.
"But...but Marzia-" I started.
"She isn't you Cry. I love you." Pewds said with a chuckle. I was frozen. My heart blossomed when he spoke those words but how did he know about my dream?
"How did you... I dreamed that you would say that..." I mumbled.
"I dreamed that too..." Pewds said quietly.
"Wha-what does that mean?" I asked. Pewdie then started laughing without stop.
"Now we're thinking with portals, Cry." Pewds said while gasping for air between laughs and words. His cheesy joke didn't matter, what does is that his gorgeous, kind hearted, sweet swede was mine and mine alone.
"Oh and Ryan?" Pewds said after finally catching his breath.
"Yes Felix?" I said happily.
"I kinda have no place to go." Pewds said.
"That's not true." I said knowingly.
"Well how do you expect me to get over to you you?" Pewds asked confused.
"With portals my dear Pewdie, with portals." I said, laughing.
Prologue. Both of their points of view.
Pewdie then flew back to the states where he lives in Cry's house happily. No one knows that we are a couple yet but we plan to tell the bro army soon. Pewds still is making his cheesy jokes, like "At least it was Lorenzo and not Stephano." and then Cry would say "I don't really expect that from Stephano but definitely from Piggy." and we would laugh. Pewds has now seen Cry without his mask but like hell he will ever tell what he looks like. Pewds thinks that if anyone else saw Cry's face then everyone would want him even more than they do now. Cry doesn't mind though, he would rather Pewds be the only one to see his true self. As far as us having the same dream, we still can't explain that. Perhaps GlaDoS really does have something there with her thinking with portals. But we still don't know if we can trust the cake yet... FIN X3