Rumpelstiltskin Parody
OR
The Trials and relationships of Aqua
Once upon a time there lived a rich Apple designer and his daughter Aqua. One day he decided that he wanted to give her away in marriage. However he came across a dilemma. His daughter was ugly and no man in his right mind would take her to be his wife. Pondering in thought he came up with a plan. The next day he approached the young King and told him that his daughter could turn water into expensive perfume. The King could already foresee the huge profit he could make off the perfume. Greedily the King invited the daughter into his palace.
In his grand palace he took her to a room full of buckets of water and fancy bottles. He then told her that if all the water in that room did not turn into perfume he would punish her. Stubborn and hot-headed she did nothing but watch TV that night. When the King came the next morning and saw that there was no perfume. In a rage he removed the TV from the room. He then ordered her to turn the water into perfume or he would cut her off from the technological world. Desperate, she took out her iphone and checked her Wi-Fi. Once she found reception, she went on Google searching for a method to turn water into perfume. To her dismay the only result she got was the story of Jesus turning water into wine in the Bible, then, frustrated she played "Angry Birds" until she was bored of it.
Finally she thought about asking for help on the "Fairytale Help Line". It had not been long since texting the helpline when an odd little man appeared.
"Hello young girl. How may I be of assistance?" asked the little man.
"I am a teenager!" She cried in outrage "And I need you to turn this water into perfume and package it into these bottles for me by tomorrow morning!"
"I will turn the water into perfume but what is in it for me?" asked the man as his eyes glinted mischievously. "I will give you my necklace!" responded Aqua.
"True to his deal he slaved into the night turning the water into perfume, while she texted friends.
The next day the King came in and gawked in astonishment!
"This is amazing! You did all this?" asked the king.
"Yes" she lied.
Greedily he took her to a larger room which also filled with a pool full of water. Not worried at all, she texted the helpline and the same little man appeared.
"Hello again teenage girl and how may I assist you this time?" questioned the man.
"I want you to turn this water into perfume by tomorrow morning again" replied Aqua.
"What will you give me this time? Will you give me your iphone?"
"No! I will not give you my phone! But I will give you my gold ring."
"Well I do not need a ring. I guess you do not need my help."
"No, please!"
"Fine, if you promise to give me your first born child I will do this task for you."
"I promise" she begged.
So he went to work and when the King came the next morning, he was amazed. In ecstasy he took all the bottles of expensive perfume and sold them making a huge profit. Happy because of his success he married her. The girl did not see the little fellow for a while and forgot all about him and their deal. Their marriage was not working out. However by the second year of their strained marriage she gave birth to a son. She was then visited by the little fellow.
"You now have a child, so you can fulfill your promise."
"However, she was reluctant to give him her baby. So taking pity on the girl, the man made a deal with her. He told her that if she was able to guess his name in three days, he would let her keep her baby but not without a small price. He then left and came the next day to hear her guesses for the first day. By the end of the second day she was out of names and in desperation searched the web. Without very much success she logged onto Twitter. Searching through the archives she found a profile that matched the man's characteristics. He had tweeted about how as surely as his name was Rumplestiltskin, he would have the Queen's child. Gleeful with triumph, the next day when he came to hear her last guesses she frowned and said:
"Is your name Dawfy?"
"No" responded Rumplestiltskin.
"Well how about Omar?"
"Nopety, nope, nope"
"But surely your name must be Rumpelstiltskin?" said Aqua again.
"Impossible!"
In anger he turned all of their riches into steel and stamped away. So she left her husband and he divorced her. She raised her child as a single mom which brought out the kindness in her. She kept in touch with Rumplestiltskin through Facebook. A few years later they got together and soon they were married. Since then they lived happily ever after. Thus Aqua fulfilled her promise and Rumplestiltskin was a good father. And because of their perfume business they were a very fragrant family!
