Hello there! So this is like the new, better, and actually understandable version of Chapter 1 :) After days of blissful ignorance I realized that the chapter was so ill-fully written that I bet some people were forced to roll their eyes and even gag a little (mmm...this is my way of apologizing for the bad grammer), so I rewrote the whole thing.
As I said before,I wrote this for the sake of entertainment. I just wanted to write something meant for light reading and laughing, so don't expect deep secrets or meaningful plot twists. This story is about Tom Riddle being stalked by fangirls and Hermione laughing at him, nothing more.
On another note, I was inspired to write whatever this thing is called after reading several fanfics where Tom has tons of crazy fangirls. I just couldn't stop comparing them to delusional kpop fangirls, both bunches are crazy! So I thought it would be hilarious to have Tom be some sort of oppa that is idolized by most girls. I think I'll turn Tom into the new Taecyeon *snickers gleefully*
Tom Riddle was reading placidly in the library close to the windowsill, his features exposing his cool and collected demeanor until a giggle interrupted his train of thought and made him flinch. How annoying, the library was supposed to be a place of uninterrupted silence and an unrelenting pursue for knowledge, and yet those chattering twits couldn't stop giggling. He turned his head towards the source of the noise, and as expected, he found some annoying third year girls fussing over something. He was very tempted to just leave the library and find a secluded corner around the castle where he would be able to read in peace. But he wouldn't do any of that, an ordinary person perhaps, but not him. He was Salazar Slytherin's heir, Lord Voldemort, and the future governor of the Wizarding World.
Riddle stood up from his comfortable seat and made a beeline towards the annoying table where the girls were talking, sighing, and Merlin forbid it, squealing. They were passing around some sort of scrapbook, and after looking at it a glazed look would take over their faces. Tom raised an eyebrow at this and briefly wondered what kind of pictures would cause that kind of effect on them. He got closer to the bunch of girls and stole a quick glance at the scrapbook. He couldn't do anything but sigh, not a contented sigh, or one of those "I'm so tired" sighs. No, this sigh belonged to the "my life is so messed up" kind of sigh. Tom Riddle clearly knows that he is a grand wizard and truly believes that his very presence is more worthy than the Midas touch, but to have a scrapbook full of pictures of him? The pictures of him ranged from him walking to class to conjuring a feather, one glimpse at one of the pages and he saw a picture of him scratching his nose. He couldn´t believe that he was caught scratching his nose.
He loomed over one of the girls and saw what looked suspiciously like a nosebleed. And not only on her face, the other girls were also sporting bloody noses. Tom Riddle just had to shiver. Collecting himself he took another look at the scrapbook and received a fright. There, covering a full page of the dreaded scrapbook, was a picture of him after a well-deserved bath in the prefects' bathroom. Wearing just a towel. A fluffly, white towel tied around his midsection and covering…
Riddle just had to stop this train of thought. He assessed the matter at hand and asked whatever entity was listening what did he do to deserve this kind of treatment. Of course, it never occurred to him that he has done terrible things such as murdering a thirteen year old, his own father, and grandfather. It also never occurred to him that he created two horcruxes, the most abominable thing in the Wizarding World. And obviously, it didn't occur to him either that he constantly intimidates and sometimes tortures his fellow classmates. So, poor Tom Riddle never understood why these kind of "horrible" things always happened to him. According to him he didn't deserve to be the object of desire of some thirteen year old girls.
Rage overtook him. This was the ultimate offense. For years he had tolerated fainting, giggling, sighing, and squealing; he always dismissed his murderous urges whenever girls took bets about him; his eyes had been irreversibly injured by countless of knickers flashing; he even had enough patience to endure the "accidental" groping in the hallways. But this was enough. How dare they take a picture of him almost naked? For a moment, just for a few seconds, Tom's reptilian brain took over. Everything he saw was red and angrily he slammed his fist on the table.
The girls stared at him with big wide eyes, looking very scared of him. Coming to his senses, Tom tried to think of an excuse regarding his violent behavior. This was not good; he was supposed to be Hogwarts' golden boy. If he ruined his perfect façade, many years of effort would go down the drain.
"Oh my, sorry for the disturbance ladies, there was a beetle on the table and I couldn't help it, for your benefit and for the whole library I just had to get rid of it somehow", Tom heard a snort in the background which he promptly ignored. The girls' faces changed from frightened to dreamy, with huge smiles that are often dedicated to fluffy bunnies and tiny cats.
"Oh Tom, you are so brave ", one of the girls said after sniffing a little bit of blood.
"Why? Thank you. Excuse me ladies, can I ask a favor of you?", the girls nod feverishly while twirling their hair and batting their eyelashes, the perfect proof that women are prodigies at multitasking.
"You see, I am reading a very complex text that delicately touches the intricacy of Arithmancy –not really, he is lying, it is some dark arts book- and it requires my utmost concentration. But you see, even the smallest of noises offers a distraction, so I would appreciate it if you would kindly leave your reunion for later. Besides, I am aware that the Gryffindor quidditch team is holding tryouts at this very moment", said Tom smoothly holding a graceful smile. It was the perfect statement: polite while indicating his wishes, and also accompanied with the prospect of sweaty guys, something that girls seem to love.
The girls giggled excitedly and quickly began to move. One of the girls, whose description will not be provided because she is deemed unimportant, squealed and said "Oh, Tom should have been a Gryffindor, killing that beetle! He was so brave!" Tom Riddle, whose ears will never be the same, had the decency to just cringe, perfectly hiding his temptation to retch.
After hurriedly fumbling through their stuff and not so discretely hiding the scrapbook, the annoying girls finally left the library. Tom Riddle sighed and faced upwards, spotting a mass of curls and a face hidden by a book. Ah, the new girl. The only female creature that does not giggle incessantly just by seeing him. In fact, since Hermione Callhome arrived to Hogwarts, she has never given Tom Riddle the time of the day. Normally he would be furious by her nonchalant expression whenever he smiles, but after being abused by herds of fangirls for many years, her indifference towards him provides him with a sense of relief.
During the whole ordeal Hermione Granger sat by the sidelines, thoroughly analyzing the interactions between Tom Riddle and his mindless fangirls. She liked to think of herself as some sort of scientist , whose duty was to study the relationship between prey and predator in a social environment. In this case the fangirls being the predator and poor Tom Riddle being the pray.
Except that Tom Riddle cannot be described as "poor". First of all, he practically oozes evil, just because she is not supposed to know about his countless crimes it does not mean that she cannot be aware of those. Secondly, despite her utter dislike for him, Tom Riddle is very handsome; whenever he throws one of his fake smiles, Hermione feels like grabbing a pair of sunglasses. Still, that is does not give students, mainly female, a reason to worship his very godlike presence. Since classes began all she has seen regarding Tom Riddle are fangirls. She expected to be the witness of torture and deceit, but instead she witnessed the whole Hogwarts female population salivating for him. Hermione can understand that Tom Riddle is indeed very attractive and can be charming when he wants to be, but to the extent of groping him in the hallways?
From a detached and slightly biased point of view Hermione concluded that those fangirls are a danger for the human population. According to Hermione all those giggling twits are not capable of rational thought. The fact that they actually believed his lie about the beetle is proof of that. Really, Hermione couldn't hide her snort when she heard his pitiful excuse, who in their rightful mind would believe such story? Oh yeah, them. Hermione does not wish to take drastic actions, but with all their raw stupidity and senseless giggling, she would be doing humanity a favor by hindering their ability to procreate.
Despite her obvious annoyance at the girls' antics Hermione cannot hide her amusement. Out of all the things she expected from the past, Tom Riddle being stalked by Hogwarts's female population was not one of them. Indeed, this was going to be a very entertaining experience. When she realized that she was stuck in the past, in 1944 of all years, the witch simply freaked out.
As opposed to movies, books, and comics her journey to the past was not an extravagant one. There were not time turners involved, not even an ancient spell. She was just standing in an empty field with The Burrow a few hundred meters from her, when suddenly a wisp of silver light appeared. Hermione, being a curious individual, approached the light and promptly passed out. When she woke up she was faced with a very young looking Garrick Ollivander, who happened to be looking for wand materials in the outskirts of St. Ottery Catchpole. Afterwards, he introduced her to a not so old-looking Albus Dumbledore. Connecting the dots, Hermione realized that she got transported to the past. With a twinge of panic she asked in which year she was, an action that raised a couple of eyebrows.
Soon, both men questioned her about her strange behavior. Hermione knew she had two options: either tell the whole truth and risk space time continuum or make up a lie and risk them seeing through her lies and not helping her. While considering both options, Hermione quickly told herself "A Griffyndor gotta do what a Gryffindor gotta do" and came up with the most ridiculous story that has ever been heard. According to her she was E.T Callhome, an alien from a moon from a very faraway planet and that she intended to arrive to Earth in the midst of the Middle Ages; but, someone sabotaged her spaceship's nuclear reactors with Kryptonite, which slowed down her arrival to Earth.
Dumbledore swallowed her lies and complimented her name. In fact, both of them "chose" a new name for her that would fit in society, which was "Hermione". Eventually, Dumbledore offered her a place in Hogwarts. While Dumbledore and she plotted, Ollivander just watched them interact with a hint of suspicion, but dismissed his suspicions for another time. After a few days classes in Hogwarts started, Hermione Callhome was sorted into Gryffindor, and things went nice and dandy until she saw Tom Riddle.
Ugh, Tom Riddle, Dark Lord extraordinaire. For the life of her, Hermione could not understand why did Riddle bother to recruit Death Eaters. He was only seventeen years old and he already had hundreds of mindless followers at his disposal, followers that by the look of them seemed to be willing to kill for him. For someone so smart sometimes Riddle did not look at the big picture. Not that she wanted him to pursue his world conquering goals anyways. Maybe things were better this way, if she was going to be stuck in the past at least she deserved some amusement; and Tom Riddle being chased by herds of fangirls was the perfect cure for boredom.