A/N: Hello, my name is ravenclawqueen917, but since that's a bit of a mouthful, please refer to me as Becca. Now, I am writing this fic as an outlet for my frustration towards a
certain crappy novel written by our own Stefi M. (Hey, it was either this or ripping the book itself up, which, unfortunately, I cannot do because it belongs to my sister. ) Anyway,
don't take it seriously, I am well aware of the fact that this is all of this is just meaningless, hypocritical bitching about my pathetic life.
Chapter 1- Bella Sue
I am an avid hater of Mary Sues; they are simply undeveloped, unrealistically flawless parasites that swamp this site. Which is why I was absolutely astonished when within reading noless than one puny chapter of Twilight, I realized that Bella probably the most obvious one I had ever seen. She is, in fact, flawless, as most Sues are, which Meyer tried to hide my saying she is clumsy. She is described as completely selfless, but its to the point when its almost unhealthy.
Then, in book four, Bella finds a way to be even MORE perfect by becoming a vampire. It almost reminds me of those horrible Lord of the Rings fics were the Mary Sue finds a way to somehow transform herself into an elf to be with her precious Leggie(I pity that poor character, I really do) It's the oldest Mary Sue trick in the book, the Sue finds a way to make herself even more perfect than before by making themselves a superior species. Usually this package comes with supernatural powers (check, an energy shield? Come on, lets at least try to be original.) breathtaking beauty(check, the scene with the guy who works for the forgery dude, so unnecessary, Meyer is just trying to show off Bella's new look.) and/or a better relationship with theirvicti….. ahem, significant other.(check, notice how much closer Edward and Bella seem after she becomes a vampire.)
I particularly don't like the fact that she is portrayed as, "little plain old me," yet at least five guys fall in love with her on the first day of school, does she have an inferiority complex orsomething? Either that or she's just fishing for compliments. She's so good and pure, yet she's the one who made the whole ridiculous marriage deal so complicated by saying she wants tohave sex with Edward before he turns her into a vampire. Out of all the things to do, spend quality time with Charlie, or go visit her mother in Phoenix, she picks that? What kind of a hussy is she? And she keeps saying how she's not getting married for sex. But she so is, the only reason she's doing it in the first place is because he won't do it with her until she's his wife.
Let's just recap. Bella falls head over heels in love with a guy that she barely knows, but he's hawt, so who cares? He ignores her and makes it very clear he wants nothing to do withher, but she still hangs on. When he tells her he's a vampire, she dismisses it, who cares what damage this guy has, remember, he's hawt. When he leaves her in the middle of a forest, shecurls up there and says she wants to die. Instead of moving on, like a normal person, she goes to the reservation and starts doing random dangerous things just to awaken some weird,
personality disorder she has that sounds like Edward. Even when she finds another supernatural beefcake (aka Jacob) to lead around, she still isn't happy. Then when Edward, who, again, left her, she drops Jacob like a hot potato and comes running back to him. If he had come crawling back to me, I would have bitch-slapped him so hard his ears would have been ringing for freakin' days. Bella then is the perfect example of that crazy chick we've all known and avoided as much as possible. Not only that, but it's giving young girls the idea that acting like apsychotic, loony-in -the-head bitch will get them anything in life. Isn't that just wonderful?
Thank you , my rant is over.(I ran out of steam) Next chapter I'm going to do Edward(tee hee, that's going to be FUN)
Dazvedanya(for you more uncultured readers out there, that means goodbye in Russian)
A/N: I know its short, but I'm still experimenting with it. Review, but please, do not just say if its good or not. Tell me what I did good or bad. Au revoir!
This fic has been edited as of 12/31/09