Foreword:

Okay, I have a question... Why is there no Ninja Turtles category under MOVIES?! DX

Well, I guess the fact that I'm even asking this is more proof that God has a sense of humor. *-* I never thought I'd find myself even considering writing ninja turtles fanfiction... but then, I guess that goes for almost every fandom I've ever written fanfiction for. ^^' The thing is, when I saw TMNT, psych digging on Leonardo and Raphael proved irresistible for me. The interactions between them in that movie were just charged with so much tension and subtext and internal conflict... Their relationship had so many layers, I loved it! XD And while I was satisfied with the actions-speak-louder-than-words way that things between them were resolved in the end, the sentimental sucker in me would've really liked to see it fleshed out with a bit more detail. So I guess this fic is sort my ideal ending for the movie. It's too dialogue-heavy and on-the-nose to have worked in the actual movie, but I wanted to write it anyway just as a way to get my own feelings out. I mean, that's what fanfiction is for, right? Saying the unsaid? Oh, and just so y'all know, the 2007 TMNT movie is the only Turtles rendition I've ever really seen (except for the ooze movie, which my friend made me watch, and one episode of the cartoon), so judge accordingly. I'm operating under the assumption that the deleted 'Ninja Tag' scene actually happened (my ending hinges on it).

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity."

— Proverbs 17:17

« ... »

The nights were shorter in New York City… At least, that was how it seemed after having been away for so long. Still, there had to be a reason it was called the city that never sleeps. Compared to the constant noise, motion, hustle-and-bustle of this place, the jungles of South America had seemed like a vast, silent, empty wilderness—not that it had made sleeping any easier. As hectic and noisy as the Big Apple tended to be, it was home. Leonardo had almost forgotten how much he loved this city, and hadn't realized until now how much he'd missed being here.

Slowly and quietly he climbed up the fire escape of a run-down old building that almost fancied itself a skyscraper. He thought he'd seen a familiar silhouette go up this way a few minutes ago, and he figured this was as good a time as any to hunt down that troublemaker.

Stealthy as possible, he slipped up onto the roof and disappeared into the shadow of the building's penthouse. Hugging the wall, he peeked around the nearest corner to glance out at the larger portion of the rooftop.

Sure enough, there he was, sitting at the edge with his legs dangling over the side and his red bandana fluttering in the light breeze, staring out at the cityscape like he was deep in thought. Weird. Raphael actually looked calm and introspective. You didn't see that every day. Leo smirked, then immediately composed himself. He took a deep breath and ignored the butterflies in his stomach as he stepped out into the moonlight.

"Enjoying the view?" he asked.

Raphael turned his head to look at him, his expression vague and hard to read. Maybe he looked... remorseful? Or conflicted? Leo couldn't quite tell. He almost looked a little angry, but then again, he always looked angry.

"I'm not sure yet," Raph muttered, returning his gaze to the New York skyline. "Sometimes the city looks like crap and sometimes... it actually looks kinda beautiful. Just depends on my mood, I guess."

"Well, what does it look like now?"

Raphael didn't answer, but he dipped his head a bit, like he had something he wanted to say and was trying to find the words.

"Listen, Leo," he muttered at last, "I shouldn't'a—" he paused to take a breath, then went on. "What I said, what I did... back there on that rooftop... you didn't deserve any of that, man."

Leonardo was surprised, and in spite of himself, a bit amused as well. Apparently that was the closest his headstrong brother could come to a heartfelt apology. Pathetic though it was, this was a big step for Raphael.

Leo lowered his eyes as his own guilt rose up inside him, and he replied in a shameful voice, "I deserved some of it." He stared at his feet for a moment and then added, "Thanks for coming for me, though."

Raphael turned once more to glance at Leo out of the corner of his eye and dejectedly muttered, "Hey, if I hadn't I'd be a sorry excuse for a brother."

"Aw, Raph..." Leo stepped forward, sat down beside him, and patted him on the back as he teased, "You are a sorry excuse for a brother."

Raphael shot a nasty frown at his fearless leader. "Hey, what gives, Leo? I thought we were bonding here."

"We are getting all the tension between us out in the open so we can resolve it and function better as a team in the future."

Raph sneered and grumbled under his breath, "You stuck-up, snotty little psych nerd."

"Okay, that's... a start," the older brother muttered. "Go on."

Raph stared at him for a long dumbfounded moment, his eyes narrowing with restrained intensity. "You really wanna do this, Leo?" he asked in a warning tone. "You really wanna have this conversation with me?"

Good question. Leonardo thought back on what his father had said to him back when he first came home, telling him he should talk to Raphael. Maybe if he had followed through with that advice right away, things wouldn't have gotten so bad between him and his brother. But he couldn't dwell on his failure now. Regardless of how late he was or how awkward he felt, he was determined to follow through this time.

"Actually, it's about the last thing I want to do," he replied honestly, "but... I think we need to."

Raphael sat there for a long silent moment, staring at Leonardo and once again looking like he was deep in thought.

Leo waited as long as he could stand and finally muttered, "So...?"

Raph took a deep breath, gritting his teeth, and at last vehemently spat out, "Why didn't you come back? I mean, didn't you miss us? Didn't you think that just maybe we might actually miss you?"

Leo held back a gasp. "Raph, you... you missed me?"

Raphael smacked his own forehead and impatiently blasted, "Aw, for cryin' out—yes! Yeah, I missed you, okay? I have no idea why, but I did! That so hard to believe?"

"Well, a little, I mean... the way you reacted when I came home, I kind of got the impression you didn't really want me back."

Raphael took a few sharp breaths, the frustration slowly draining from his face. He trained his eyes on the ground far below and after taking a moment to compose himself he ventured to speak again.

"I was just so angry. I don't think I was really angry at you, I just..." (he paused to heave a deep sigh) "I just couldn't keep it together after you left. I mean, I wanted to. I wanted to step up and be the big brother Mikey and Donnie needed... But I just couldn't be what you were to them. When your training period ended and you didn't come home I didn't know what to think. I mean, to me it seemed like you'd abandoned us, but... I don't know, maybe I felt like somehow it was my fault you didn't want to be here. Like maybe I was the reason you weren't coming back."

Raphael stopped talking, and Leo was left speechless as well. He gazed in disbelief at his brother until Raph ventured to make eye contact, and then quickly broke it to take his own turn staring down at the street below. He couldn't believe what he was about to admit, but since his stubborn, hard-headed sibling had dug up the guts to open up about something so sensitive and personal, it was only fair that he do the same.
"Raph," he whispered in a timid voice, "I didn't come home because I didn't feel like I deserved to be here."

Raphael gaped at him in shock. "What?"

"I've never told anyone this," Leonardo explained, his fingers laced together in his lap, "but when Master Splinter first sent me away I kept wondering why. Was it really just because he wanted me to grow, or was it maybe because I'd disappointed him somehow? I hated the thought that I might've let him down—let all of you down. I tried to convince myself that wasn't the reason—that I hadn't completed my training yet, and that I was doing more good where I was than I would be here... but the real reason I didn't come home was because I was ashamed to face you guys again. Because I never really understood why I had to leave you in the first place."

Raphael blinked a few times. He must be surprised. And why wouldn't he be? Leo was even surprised. He hadn't even consciously realized some of the things that had been weighing on him until he actually got them out in words.

"So..." Raph muttered after a long silence, only to trail off into another awkward pause before finally finishing, "you don't think you're better than me?"

Leo almost laughed. "I'm not better than you, Raph," he replied, his sincerity apparent in his soft, vulnerable tone. "I sometimes think I am, but—I'm not. I've got my own issues. And while I am better at resolving those issues with my head instead of my fists—"

"Okay, just for the record," Raph rudely interrupted, "your mouth provokes my fists more than any slimebag I ever laid inta."

Leo's eyes widened a bit, and he swallowed. "Noted. I'll try to talk less."

"Yeah, good," Raphael snapped. He fidgeted sheepishly for a second before adding under his breath, "and... I guess it wouldn't kill me to think more."

Leo smiled and welcomed the ensuing silence, which somehow didn't feel so awkward this time. He leaned back against his arms and joined his brother in looking up at the sky. However the city might look, the stars were always beautiful. The ones you could see, at any rate.

"Oh, and Leo?" Raph said out of nowhere.

"Yeah?"

"Just so you know... I don't hate you."

Leo's eyes widened in surprise, and he smiled, fighting with all his might to keep from laughing. What was it about Raphael opening up and actually expressing some tenderness that was so darn funny? But if he let himself laugh now, he might never see this side of his brother again, and that would be a shame.

"Thanks, Raphael," he said.

"Whoa, watch it, man," Raph snapped, gruffly pointing a finger in Leo's face. "Only Splinter gets to call me that."

"What? Raphael?" Leo repeated. "But it's your name."

"I know, and I can barely say it myself."

This time Leo couldn't hold it in. He burst into laughter, earning a frustrated glare from his brother, and somehow muttered through the chuckles, "you are such a dope."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Raphael exclaimed, making a fist. "The mouth, Leo! Remember the mouth!"

Out of nowhere a familiar juvenile voice shouted, "Ninja ambush!"
Mikey and Donnie materialized from the shadows and rushed their older brothers from behind. They jumped them, grabbed them around their necks, and together the whole foursome fell over backwards.

"Hey, you little punks, I'm gonna—!"

Raph thrashed his arms, trying to reach the goofy kid laughing behind him.

"Oh, admit it," Mikey chuckled, "we totally got you guys!"

"Looks like we need to do some refresher training on leaving your back wide open," Donnie joked in that condescending know-it-all tone of his.

Leo craned his head back to get a sideways look at his brainy little brother and playfully muttered, "I expect this kind of thing from Mike, but quite frankly, I'm disappointed in you, Donnie."

"Hey, what are you talking about?" Michelangelo interjected, pointing an accusatory finger at Don. "This was his idea."

"What?" Raph and Leo exclaimed simultaneously.

"What can I say?" Donnie muttered with a faux-innocent shrug. "Spend too much time with the little dweeb and he starts to rub off on you."

"Get off me, Mikey," Raph snapped, wrenching out of his little brother's grip. He got up and turned to Donnie and Leo, punching his palm. "I've got a sudden urge to turn Donatello here into turtle soup."

Donnie released Leo and scampered out of Raph's range.

"Well, hey, if you're gonna chase me anyway, it might as well be in a ninja tag rematch," he prodded, adding with a snide smile, "unless you big tough guys are worried you'll lose to your kid brothers twice in a row."

"O-ho, you are SO on!" Raphael bellowed, gruffly dragging Leo to his feet.

"Same place, same stakes," Donnie muttered while he strutted over to Mikey, who was already back on his feet and grinning in excitement. "On the count of three. One!"

"Are you sure about this, Raph?" Leonardo whispered behind the back of his hand.

"Two!"

"I'm sure I'll clobber you if we don't win," Raphael grumbled back.

"Three!"

The race was on, and the four brothers took off at the sound of an imaginary gunshot.

Author's Notes:

- Alternate Ending— Originally I was gonna extend the ending and actually show the tag match, but ultimately a combination of factors (primary my utter lack of free time DX) made me decide to leave it the way you see here. All in all, I think I made the right choice. The one thing I really do miss about that ending was this cute little bit I came up with after Leo and Raph win the tag match. While Mikey is complaining that they cheated or whatever and Raph is rubbing his face in it, Leo catches Donnie smiling out of the corner of his eye and realizes that Don was purposely trying to help them work things out. I would have liked to show that, because despite how little face time he had in the movie, I really liked Donnie. :3 Even though Leo and Raphael were the the crux of the story and I loved them both to pieces, Donatello was probably my favorite. *hearts*