"Careful!" he grips my arm and pulls me away from the ice. The moment of impact that I was expecting ceased to be in that moment - and instead of thinking about how grateful I should be, I started thinking about Gin. About how he couldn't have done that. About how he couldn't have touched me.
And about how warm he felt in that moment. How his hands were shaking, how both of our bodies were trembling.
And about how he was gone.
My breath is a white puff of air as the boy continues talking. He reaches his hand out to me, and I take it, "it was like this last year too," his face has a slight blush on it, from the contact of our hands or from the cold, I couldn't know, "Do you remember?"
I want to see Gin. I want to touch Gin.
"I remember," but not because of the warmth of his hand, but because of the thoughts I've had since last summer. The lastsummer. I want to see you again. I want to touch you again.
"Takegawa-san," the boy interrupts my thoughts, and though I should be grateful for it I find myself annoyed. "Since... well, for awhile now..." he looks towards me, but can't seem to meet my eyes. "Takegawa-san...I really like you. A lot."
I stopped in my tracks, taken aback. My hand fell away from his, and for a second Gin wasn't in my head at all. My face felt hot from embarrassment, or something else, I couldn't be sure.
"Please g-go out with me," he said as he reached his hand back out to me.
It's okay to forget about me.
No.
No, it's not okay.
"I can't," and then I'm crying, "I can't, I can't, I can't."
The boy is hovering over me, asking me if I'm alright, apologizing profusely, but I can't hear him, not really. I can't see through my tears. I almost find it ridiculous. I can't do it. I can't forget. The weight of Gin's mask in my book bag reminds me of that. There is no way for me to forget.
Did you know, Gin? I thought about you this Autumn again. And now, in Winter. I'll think of you in Spring, and in Summer. I'll think about you everyday forever. I don't want you to forget me, and I don't want to forget.
This Winter, as well, was a brilliant, cloudy white
AN: I can't get this damned movie out of my head. I can't stop crying. There's only one way to fix it.