A/N: What do you get when a fanfic writer gets the flu and is then bombarded with new angles of the Ron and Hermione kiss? One-shots. Lots and lots of one shots.
Anyway, this follows the same canon as my other stuff (You Go First, Ch4 of NDL…) but you don't need to have read them to understand any of this.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns Harry Potter and – MONKEY SLUT IS BLOWN!
Of all the stupid ideas her mother had ever had, this had to have been the stupidest, Hermione thought as she look across the table at Ron. What was even the point of the two of them going on a 'proper date'? To get to know each other?
Somehow though, the idea had struck a chord with her. She and Ron were a couple now and that was what couples did. Even if the idea of usual courting rituals seemed entirely redundant when it came to them, it would be nice to spend some time with Ron that wasn't at her house or the Burrow. Wouldn't it?
It had been just under a month since Voldemort had finally been beaten and life was finally starting to turn back into something that resembled normality. There were no more funerals or memorial services left. The press had decided that there were other things happening in the world that didn't involve Harry Potter and anyone he spent any time with him. Hermione's parents were back from Australia and had moved back into their old home. The dust had settled and people were moving on with their lives.
Of course life wasn't the same as before. Grief still followed them around, although it no longer consumed them. Hermione couldn't really go to the Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade without being recognised. The main change however, was that since she had kissed Ron, her big secret was no longer a secret.
In the direct aftermath of the battle they had exchanged "I love you"s and didn't leave each other's sides. It was almost like a dream; they were so exhausted that life itself seemed to be moving at a different speed and everything had seemed so easy because they were freely moving around and no one was trying to kill them. They had fallen asleep the same way that Hermione wished they would live the rest of their lives – together.
The cold light of morning had ruined everything. They woke up and had been so embarrassed and awkward with each other that they could barely look at one another and things had only gone downhill from there.
So now, as she sat in a coffee shop, just down the road from where she had grown up, on a date with the boy she was in love with, Hermione tried to think of something to say to him but couldn't.
Just getting here had been excruciating. He had arrived at her house early so Hermione knew he was nervous. After making small talk with her mother, Ron had gone up to her room and stood a few feet away from her, grinning sheepishly. They had each mumbled "hi" before Ron jumped as though he was remembering something he had forgotten and moved to kiss her cheek. She, unfortunately, misread this as him going for her lips and they had ended up bumping noses. After many stuttered apologies and explanations, they gave up on the hopes of having a successful greeting and had started walking to their predetermined destination.
The journey itself had been just as bad. When they had turned out of Hermione's street and onto the main road, she had gone to take his hand but, thanks to months of being constantly vigilant, Ron had flinched away at the contact. Slightly hurt, Hermione had put her hands in her jacket pockets – just as Ron had reached for one of them.
Both red in the face and unable to look at each other, they had walked the rest of the way in silence.
It broke Hermione's heart to see them like this. They hadn't been so unsure of how to act around each other since they had the morning after the Halloween they had become friends. Even after they had made up after Ron's poisoning, they had been better than this.
It wasn't like neither of them was trying either. Hermione had picked the place, making sure it was casual but not too casual and that it wasn't too expensive while still being nice. Ron, on his part, had got his hands on a ten pound note and was insisting that he should pay. He even went as far as placing their order himself. He had tripled checked the correct pronunciation of 'mocha' just to make sure and had, despite obviously being a bit worried about using a currency he didn't really understand, managed to get through the experience without any major problems.
Well, he had slipped up a little when the barista told him that their order came to £4.15 and he had handed over the note. The barista had asked him if he "had the fifteen" and Ron had replied that he didn't know there was fifteen, only a ten or a twenty.
Eventually, their coffees had arrived and they had sat down and, once Hermione had explained the mishap at the till, found themselves engulfed in silence once more, only made worse by the sounds of the people around them chatting away happily to each other.
Hermione hugged her mug with both hands and stared at the white froth as it slowly dissolved. Was that what was happening to her and Ron? Were they too going to fade into nothing?
"This is ridiculous," she said aloud.
Ron looked up from the whipped cream on top of his drink like a rabbit caught in headlights.
"What is?"
"This!" Hermione exclaimed, gesturing around them. "Us!"
She saw Ron's Adam's apple bob up and down as he gulped.
"It isn't that bad," he mumbled.
"Yes, it is and you know it," she snapped. She took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair, trying to compose her thoughts. "We have never, in all of the years we've known each other, not been able to find something to talk about."
Ron sighed in resignation and he sat back in his chair, shaking his head.
"I know. I don't get it!" he said. His arms dropped under the table and fell on his knees. "Why is this happening?"
Hermione shook her head. She had put a lot of thought into this and come up with nothing. Surely what they wanted wasn't all that different from what they already had?
Her helplessness fuelled Ron's and his entire body seemed to deflate.
"I thought it would just be like it always was but with snogging," he confessed. "I mean, that's essentially what a relationship is, right? Two people who are friends but fancy each other and snog and stuff?"
While she would have phrased it a lot more romantically, Hermione had to agree with the basic principles of what Ron was saying. It wasn't like they couldn't be friends still. When other people were around, they were able to slip into the usual routine and everything was fine. Admittedly there was none of the hand holding and casual arms around the shoulders that you saw with other couples but at least they could talk to each other.
"And yet we can't get it right," Hermione said sadly. "When we're together we just – freeze up."
"Not all the time," countered Ron, his ears slowly turning red.
"No," Hermione agreed quietly. "Not all the time."
Their eyes met briefly before they both ducked their heads.
This was the other issue they were facing – sex. They had barely got used to the idea of being able to hold hands before, the day they were due to leave for Australia, something had ignited between them and they ended up in bed together. Even though neither regretted what had happened, they had agreed that they should restrain from having any repeat performances until their lives were more settled.
An agreement which had lasted all of about five minutes.
After that time though, they really had concentrated on everything else, mainly bringing Hermione's parents home. However, as soon as that was dealt with and Hermione was moving out of Ron's childhood home and back into her own, they realised they weren't going to be seeing as much of each other anymore and had once again given into the hormones, love and whatever else it was that made Hermione want Ron to take his shirt off every time she saw him.
Hermione had thought that physical intimacy would bring them closer together and, when it happened, it did but only temporarily. Once their clothes were back on and the bedclothes rearranged, they went back to being awkward. The only difference now was that they were being awkward but the knowledge of what the other looked like naked.
Her stomach still in knots and her memory still in Ron's bedroom, Hermione glanced up to see Ron gazing at her intently, his ears turning almost puce when they made eye contact, and she knew he was thinking about it too.
It seemed so strange that Ron had seen her in that way, especially when they were in a public setting. It was like she could no longer cover anything up because he already knew what it looked like. She wondered how often he thought about it and if it was as often as she did. She wondered if, when they were together, he was trying to picture what she looked like under her clothes. She wondered if she would ever get used to the idea that she had let Ron… well… there were a few things that couldn't believe she had let Ron do.
The idea that she was having these types of thoughts, when there were a few children and group of pensioners in the same room, made her blush but at least she could control her thoughts; who knew where Ron was allowing his mind to wander? In front of his parents? In front of her parents?
She didn't want to know what he had told Harry.
"We need to sort this out once and for all," she declared bravely.
Ron nodded as his brow knitted together to form a serious expression.
"Right," he said decisively. "How?"
"W-well," Hermione began, unsure of what she was going to say, "we should discuss this fully. Know what we both want to happen and – and work out what we're doing wrong, drawing on past experience."
The colour faded from Ron's face so quickly that Hermione was scared that he would faint.
"P-past experiences?"
"We need to build a foundation on trust," she continued in a business-like manner. "We need to be mature and not get angry or upset with other. No more secrets."
Hermione's mouth was very dry by the time she was finished. Calling an amnesty on all of their past faults and wrong doings, was going to involve saying and hearing things that neither of them really wanted to but there was no way they were ever going to able to build a stable relationship without it. She could tell by the look on Ron's face that he appreciated the gravity of this as well as she did.
"No more secrets," he said seriously.
"We need to talk openly about this."
"Okay."
"I mean it – complete honesty."
"Right."
Ron sat forward and tried not to look too nervous but he was gripping his mug too hard for him to pull it off. For a moment, neither knew what to say and they let the general hubbub of the coffee shop fill in the blank but it couldn't last forever.
"When…" Hermione coughed and tried again. "Was it like this between you and Lavender?"
"What?"
Ron had clearly been expecting her to start this off lightly but as far as Hermione was concerned they needed to rip the plaster off of the deepest wounds and start at the core of this.
"With Lavender," she reiterated, trying to remain calm so Ron wouldn't think she was trying to ambush him, "was there all of this or were you two naturally a good couple?"
Ron scoffed. "Lavender and I were far from a good couple."
Hermione couldn't deny that hearing Ron say that was like music to her ears. She'd known all along that he hadn't been well suited with Lavender but it was the first time she had heard him acknowledge it.
"But did you have these problems?"
"Well," Ron said awkwardly, "no."
She opened her mouth to speak but Hermione found she couldn't so averted her eyes and took a sip of her coffee. Ron and Lavender had been able to go from friends to all over each other without having to go through all the rubbish they currently were. Admittedly, she didn't want an exhibitionist relationship but it was probably still preferable than the relationship she was currently in. Besides, Lavender and Ron hadn't been nearly as close to each other – how could they make that jump so easily?
"But we never really talked," Ron blurted out. "Ever."
"And we do?" Hermione asked him quietly, still looking at the table.
"Yeah."
"What was the last carefree conversation we had?"
Hermione looked up and met Ron's eyes with a hard look as he laughed slightly. However, the smile slowly fell from his face as he remembered all of the grief counselling Hermione had tried to give him, all of the plans to go to Australia and what to do while they were there, all of the comfort he had given her when she was worried that she was never going to find them… but none of the conversations about everything and nothing that they used to have daily.
Ron looked truly distressed and Hermione knew how he felt. It was the supposedly mundane everyday moments with him that she prized above all others. The time he had found her in the library, the March before their OWLs, and had distracted her long enough to pull her into a game of 'People Commentary', where they would give everyone around them a scandalous back story and then giggle endlessly about the stupid stuff they came up with, ranked just as highly as him sacrificing himself on the chessboard. The couple of days she spent ill when they were in the tent still and he had sat and read Hogwarts: A History to her, adding his own silly comments was just as special as him saving her from Bellatrix Lestrange.
And now, all of that was gone, replaced by horrible silences, broken only by their own thoughts.
"With Lavender…" Ron said eventually, his eyes still trained on the mug in front of him. "It was different. I-I just wanted to prove a point."
"Oh."
Ron grimaced before continuing and Hermione tried to keep her face mutual even though she was desperate for information. They had never really discussed Lavender at all.
"I just…" Ron sighed. He threw himself back in his chair, looking thoroughly disgusted in himself and Hermione wanted nothing more than to hold him. "She fancied me and she was there and- and -"
Ron broke off, looking around them for the final reason he ended up with Lavender but Hermione already knew it.
"And you were attracted to her."
"No!" Ron denied automatically.
"Complete honesty, Ron," she said softly, trying to show him that she needed to hear this, that he needed to say it and that when he did, she wouldn't be angry with him.
Ron swallowed. "A bit."
Even though she was trying to stay impassive, something must have passed over her expression as Ron immediately started backtracking.
"But- not as much as you. I'd have dropped her in a flash if you had asked me to," he said, pleading with his eyes for her to believe him. "I know that sounds terrible but-"
"What point were you trying to prove?"
Ron gulped and looked thoroughly ashamed of himself.
"That someone could like me," he said quietly. "That I could get a girlfriend."
And all either of them could think was that she had been right there, waiting for him. No words were needed; they both knew of all the time together they had lost because of their poor communication.
"It was easier with Lavender because I wasn't scared to ruin it," Ron mumbled. "If I fucked that up, then it didn't matter but this…"
He lapsed into silence and Hermione continued watching him as he took a long sip of his drink before keeping his eyes downcast. It wasn't hard to see how badly he felt or how scared he was that he was still going to be a bad boyfriend who would make her miserable or break her heart.
Hermione had no words of comfort for him. After all, he had already broken her heart and made her cry and scream and rage many times before. It was just how life was with him around; her emotions were turned up to eleven and everything was more vibrant. Yes, the lows were awful but the highs were both more frequent and worthwhile.
After some time, Ron peeked up at her with a nervous look on his face and Hermione braced herself because she knew she was about to be asked a question.
"What about you and Vic-Krum?"
"Pardon?"
Ron let out a shaky breath and Hermione saw a muscle in his jaw twitch. He almost looked in pain.
"With you and Krum," he repeated in a voice of forced calm, "was it like this?"
Panic shot through Hermione, causing her to freeze. She timidly pushed a lock of hair behind her ear before replying.
"Well, Viktor and I were never- I mean-"
"Complete honesty, Hermione."
She met his pained gaze with her wide-eyed stare and swallowed. How did he even know? She had kept nearly all details of her Viktor away from him for this very purpose but here he was asking and she had to tell him.
"I'm not stupid," he muttered. "I know you were more than pen pals."
"Oh. Right."
Still reeling from the revelation that Ron knew more about her only previous boyfriend than she had expected him to, Hermione tried to cast her mind back to the few months she had spent as the almost-secret girlfriend of an international Quidditch star. Her memories were not nearly as glamorous as the title made them sound. Mostly they comprised of early morning walks around the lake, the sun still slightly pink in the sky or doing work together in a secluded corner of the library.
Admittedly, they also included the occasional kiss but nothing too bad. In fact, if her memory served her correctly, they had only used tongues once. Viktor had always been aware of her lack of experience and had never pushed her or even suggested anything that she wasn't comfortable with.
At the time she was fifteen, slightly taken with him and was flattered by the attention and his compassion but secretly she had longed for an immature boy, a few months younger than herself, to not ask permission to push her up against the wall and snog her senseless.
"I-it…" she stuttered, "it was a bit awkward, yes."
Ron looked fit to burst. This is the first time that he had ever had confirmation that anything had happened between them; before he was working from suspicion and rumour.
"He liked me more than I liked him," Hermione continued, desperate to explain to him so he wouldn't get any wrong ideas, "and that did lead to some – difficult conversations."
"But when you weren't having difficult conversations," Ron asked stiffly, "everything was fine?"
"Yes."
Again, they lapsed into silence both painfully aware that they both seemed be able to have a relationship of some description but just not with each other. Not really sure if Ron was finished or if she was meant to ask him something, Hermione had a sip of her coffee and noticed that it was almost room temperature. She had just started working out how long they had been sat there when Ron blurted out something in one breath.
"Whatactuallyhappenedwithhim?"
He wasn't looking at her but she could see that his ears were red again and he was clearly desperate for an answer.
"Why do you want to know?" she asked uncertainly.
"You know about Lavender," he shrugged.
"So?"
Hermione knew she was in the wrong here but she had spent three years keeping this from him for reasons that were now fairly redundant but she still didn't feel wholly confident.
"Seems fair that I know about your history."
Taking a deep breath and making sure she had her eyes locked on something that wasn't Ron, Hermione began speaking.
"Well, he asked me to the Yule Ball-"
"I know that bit," Ron interrupted. She glanced at him and saw that he just wanted to know the whole story as quickly as possible, probably so that he could then wipe it from his memory. As long as it stopped his over-active imagination, he didn't seem to mind.
"This is hard for me, Ron," she said emphatically. "Please just let me talk."
Ron nodded and pressed his lips together, looking utterly terrified.
"We went to the Yule Ball together and we – well, he kissed me."
On the word 'kissed', Ron turned a funny grey colour.
"After that, we were sort of seeing each other but, in between all of our school work and the tournament, it was hard to find time together." Hermione chanced a glance at Ron, who was definitely looking a bit ill now but she knew that she had to explain. She's kept this from him for far too long and, after all, he had been honest with her.
"I- I liked him," she admitted with a slight shrug. "He was the first boy who ever paid me any attention and he was nice. After a while though, it became clear that I only really liked him as a friend and what I was feeling for you was-" Hermione shook her head and dropped her voice to almost a whisper. "Something I hadn't even thought I was capable of feeling."
For what could have been years, Ron stared at her as though he had completely forgotten how to talk.
"What? So even then-"
"Even then."
They shared a look, much like the ones they had shared before they had got together, where they wanted nothing than to kiss one another and never stop. Every so often, something like this would happen and Hermione would think that this would be the thing that would stop the horrible wall they had hit and get them back on track towards the greatness that she knew they were capable of.
But then one of them would blink and it would be like it never happened.
"We broke up at the end of that school year," Hermione said, leaning back in her seat. "With the distance, it would have been impossible even if we hadn't been somewhat dead in the water for months."
"What do you mean?" Ron asked a bit too quickly. Hermione would've found it sweet if she wasn't so ashamed of the answer. She took another sip of her drink.
"By about the March time I was – sort of using him to forget about you," she confessed. "I'm not proud of it and it didn't work."
Now she thought about, was what she did to Viktor much worse than what Ron had done with Lavender? Admittedly he had snogged Lavender in front of her for about two months before his conscience finally took hold, but she had still been lying to herself, trying to make herself feel something for someone who inevitably ended up getting hurt. Viktor had taken being dumped graciously but Hermione had known that he was more hurt than he let on. Despite being in the limelight, he was quite reserved and struggled to make friends, especially ones that he trusted.
Remembering all of this made Hermione squirm guiltily and she almost didn't hear Ron's question as he mumbled to his half-empty mug, seemingly incapable of making eye contact.
"And the letters?"
"We stayed friends," Hermione shrugged.
"And when you told me that you and he had never been more than friends?"
Hermione's breath caught in throat.
"I lied," she whispered, unable to look at any part of him.
"Why?"
She could remember the conversation like it was yesterday. In the Gryffindor Common Room, late one night, as she had been finishing up a letter to Viktor, Ron had been acting as petulant as ever and had asked what she was writing to her boyfriend about. She had been so tired of his constant remarks that she had said something that thought would make them stop. Plus she thought, if Ron had received confirmation that she was definitely unattached, he might have asked her out.
"I didn't want you to know."
"Why?"
"I don't know," Hermione sighed. Her reasons had seemed flimsy at best at the time. "I didn't want you to think badly of me."
"I wouldn't have," Ron replied sincerely but Hermione arched an eyebrow at him. "Well, not of you."
"You would've taken it out on me though."
Ron's silence was as good as an admission. Sometimes it scared her how well they knew each other.
"Are you still writing to him?" Ron asked suddenly.
"Well, not recently for obvious reasons, no," Hermione replied sardonically. Rather than be insulted, Ron seemed overly relieved at her answer. As much as she thought it would have been easier to leave it at that, Hermione's promise of complete honesty and the knowledge that if she lied now and Ron found out later, things would be much worse, forced her to keep speaking. She hoped being in a public place and his new-found maturity would prevent Ron from causing any kind of scene.
"He did write to me though. I got an owl a couple of days ago."
Ron sat up abruptly, his back poker straight and his tone aggressive.
"What did he want? What did he say?" he asked rapidly before adding, in an almost scared voice, "Have you written back?"
Knowing that his jealousy was part of the great package that was Ron Weasley, Hermione took a calming breath before speaking.
"He had heard in the news that the war was over and how deeply I had been involved and he wanted to make sure I was okay," she reassured him and Ron nodded jerkily. "I haven't sent a reply back yet."
"Yet?" he yelped.
"We're friends, Ron," she moaned, closing her eyes. "We haven't been more than that for years and, even when we were, it wasn't anything serious."
She watched patiently as Ron fought an internal battle, hoping that his more sensible nature won. "He just wanted to make sure you were okay?" he asked cautiously.
"Yes," she said with a roll of her eyes. "Will it make you feel better if I told you he has a girlfriend with whom he seems completely besotted?"
Ron's eyebrows disappeared under his fringe and Hermione could almost feel the hope radiating off of him, even though he was trying to play it cool.
"As long as it isn't you," he replied sullenly, "then yeah."
As Ron swirled the dregs of his drink around his mug and Hermione was struck with a sudden idea that would show that she wasn't lying, even if she had done so in the past.
"You can read the letter if like?" she suggested tentatively. "And the reply I've written?"
She hoped that he would decline her offer and that her word was good enough but no bad could come of Ron reading the letter. It was fairly short and made no mention of the months Viktor had spent in Scotland. In fact, the letter was split evenly between inquiring after her and her loved ones' health and him catching her up on how he had spent the year. Namely, how he had met a girl and how much she meant to him.
The reply was much the same – reassuring her that she was well, telling him how happy she was for him and about how she had also found someone.
Ron thought it over for almost a full minute before he shrugged a little.
"S'all right," he mumbled. He gave her a small smile which Hermione returned.
She didn't know if this was helping or widening the gap but at least they were talking. It may have been about painful subjects but they were words nonetheless. Even though the issues of trust and honesty appeared to not be problems for them, it seemed weird how after so much confessing, there were still so many unsaid things left between them.
With the subjects of their respective exes out of the way, neither of them had much more they wanted to know. They had spent nearly every day since they had first met in close proximity to one another and their love lives had probably been the only thing they had ever tried to hide. The air was as clear as it was ever likely to be but still they weren't talking and the silence wasn't comfortable.
"I hate this!" Ron suddenly exclaimed so loud that the man, who had just sat down on the table next to them, jumped slightly.
"What?"
"This! Us!" Ron continued, looking thoroughly distressed. "I-I never thought it would be like this. I thought we'd be fine."
"So did I," Hermione agreed.
"When we're with everyone else-"
"I know."
"I mean, the snogging is great."
Hermione felt a blush creep up her cheeks.
"It is."
"And – and the other stuff… that's great as well," Ron stated before his self-doubt crept in and he added "Isn't it?"
Her blush became deeper as Hermione glanced around to make sure no one was listening in to their conversation.
"Yes."
Ron grinned at the silly smile that Hermione couldn't keep off her face, even as she bit her lip.
"So," Ron said as his grin faded into a worried look, "why can't we do the bit in the middle?"
Knowing that, of all they had talked about today, this was the part that needed the most thought, Hermione tried her best to think of a reason or a cause, hoping from that she could gain a solution. As she did, Ron watched her eagerly and she was reminded of how he would wait for her to finish her homework before he would then ask for help.
"The only times we've ever – you know – done other stuff," she pondered, lowering her voice, "has been when one of us has been upset."
"Yeah…" said Ron, nodding. "Even snogging only seems to happen when, you know, I'm giving you a hug or something."
Hermione frowned a little. She felt that she was getting close.
"Before… the only time we ever really showed affection for each other was when the other was hurt or upset," she said thoughtfully.
Ron snorted. "Yeah, it was the only time I could get away with it."
It was then it hit her; they had both spent so long trying not to show how they really felt that it was second nature for them to keep their distance. To them, nothing was more unnatural than showing open affection that hinted that their feelings for one another were anything but platonic.
"It's like I feel I need a reason to kiss you," Hermione said sadly. "Like – it can't just happen." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. On the other side of the table, Ron looked as though he felt the same way. "Maybe we just need to realise that, well – the secret's out."
"How do we do that? I already know you like me."
"Like you?"
Ron's ears started turning their familiar shade of red and his lips almost smiled. "You know what I mean."
For what could have been the thousandth time since it had happened less than a month ago, Hermione recalled their first kiss. She was surprised to say that she remembered little of the kiss itself. To her, one minute she was listening to Ron and Harry talk and the next, her feet weren't touching the ground.
What she did remember though, as clear as day, was the look in Ron's eyes, as her own had flickered open again. Even though he had been saying something – she honestly didn't know what - to Harry at the same time, that look had said everything. She hadn't really needed to hear that he loved her or anything else because that moment had already told her. It had all seemed so simple.
Now, however, it appeared that Ron couldn't bring himself to say that she loved him aloud when they weren't… well… in the throes of passion because it still seemed strange to admit their closest guarded secret.
Hermione felt the tell-tale burning in the corner of her eyes and tried to blink it away.
"Hey, hey, hey, don't get upset," Ron said, panicking. He reached his hand out and held hers on top of the table. "I'm sorry. I know you love me a-and I love you and-"
"It's not that," she interrupted. The fact that, not only had Ron only taken her hand when she was upset, but that she hadn't even noticed until now, confirmed her suspicions. Not touching each other was just so deeply ingrained into them that they struggled with anything else.
"What is it then?" Ron sounded so concerned that Hermione felt compelled to tell him everything, no matter how much it hurt to admit.
"Everything," she chocked, trying not to have an embarrassing breakdown in the coffee shop. "I want this to work. I want this to work so badly. It isn't going to if we can't stay friends-"
"We're still friends," Ron insisted, squeezing her hand but Hermione shook her head.
"Hardly," she whispered. "When we're alone, we barely speak unless we're… having sex."
She chanced a glance at Ron, who looked terrified. He swallowed hard as he closed his eyes for a moment before giving her a look so broken, she felt a tear fall.
"So… you're saying we should try being friends for a bit?"
Hermione swiped the tear away and Ron's facial muscles seemed to tremble as she thought this over. In theory, it sounded like the thing to do, start from the bottom and work their way up again. But last time it had taken them nearly seven years. Surely it wouldn't take that long a second time around?
The mere thought nauseated Hermione and she shivered.
"I don't think I can," she whispered.
She felt Ron recoil, even if she couldn't see it from behind her closed eyelids. "What?"
Hermione was past the point of no return in every way and she knew she would regret turning back now, for better or worse.
"Now I know what this is like," she almost sobbed, meeting Ron's eyes, "I-I don't think I can go back to just being your friend."
Hermione looked down again as she didn't know what else to do. This was everything she ever dreamed of but it hadn't turned out the way she had planned.
She had been raised to never give up because, if at first you don't succeed, you should try, try and try again. When she fell off her bike when she was five and grazed her knee, she had simply got back on. When she had first attempted a shield charm and a bit of the curse had come through to knock her off her feet, she had brushed down her robes and continued practising. But with Ron… the bruises and cuts never did quite heal the same. They were permanent, really. She just knew the trails of kisses, licks and nibbles he had left on her body would be the same.
As much as she hated the idea and pressure of an ultimatum, there was no other way. Now that she had had all, there was no way she could give part of it up.
Without warning, there was a scraping sound and Hermione's head shot up to see Ron dragging his chair around the table so that he was adjacent to her. Before she had chance to point out that he was blocking the way of the other customers, Ron had captured her lips in a hard kiss that she immediately responded to.
Eventually, he pulled back and they both gazed at each other, slightly mystified as they usually were after a kiss, especially one so out of the blue. It was like nearly drowning before coming up for air every time. It couldn't be normal or healthy but Hermione dreaded the day that might come, when it stopped being such a thrill to be kissed by him.
"What was that for?" she breathed, her mind still reeling. However, through the haze, Hermione could suddenly see a way through this because together, they would let nothing, not even them, get in the way of what they had.
Ron wetted his lips nervously, took her hand again and smiled happily at her.
"No reason."