Abandoned. Jade repeated this word in infinite amounts to herself while combing her fingers through her hair. Abandonment; to leave completely and finally; forsake utterly; desert: to abandon one's farm; to abandon a child; to abandon a loved one.
Abandonment, Jade continued repeating the word to herself in a hushed voice, it was your fault the voice in her head told her, but instead of denying it like she used to she let it consume her. Only two months had passed since the incident and it had effected her life greatly, her mind plagued with insomnia she no longer fell asleep at random moments in the afternoon, instead she stayed awake through night wondering what she could've done to prevent it.
Jade refused to talk about it either, she instead said things like 'it' and 'the incident' instead of actually saying the words she refused to believe. Jade deluded herself into thinking one day He would come back knocking on the door but no matter how many times she heard the echo of his usual four knocks when she flung open the door only the howling wind would be there to drag her soul into the darkness of depression.
Emotionally detached, Jade had been this way since it had happened. She refused to go anywhere incase of his return but also refused to tell anyone how she was feeling and denied going to the therapy sessions John had set up so she would feel better. She no longer cared about any of the things she used to, like playing flute and going outside. Emotional detachment; the act of shutting out any emotion.
Jade didn't cry anymore. Within the first month of the incident she never stopped crying once, she would start her day with a tear-stained pillow and a lump in her throat, the only way Jade knew how to cope with the feeling was to not feel them at all and numb her mind until she not only felt no pain but nothing at all.
John still didn't know exactly what happened. Jade had only told him that he was dead, no cause of death and no explanation of what really tore Jade's heart out of her chest and crushed it like ten thousand tons being dropped on a vase.
Dave. Jade only allowed herself to say this once a day, almost like she was calling his name. Dave, the name of the lover that had disappeared. Whenever someone mentioned his name Jade wanted to take the word and change it into the physical name of it's owner. Dave.
Sacrifice. This was the word Jade used to describe the demise of the person she held most dear. Sacrifice; Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim. Jade repeated this word over and over again and again, almost as much as abandonment. First Abandonment then Sacrifice.
After these words had been repeated again and again like a mantra of words that ultimately killed her. After all the suffering after december was in the mist of it's darkest, coldest hours, only then did she play back the memory of how it happened.
She remembers a couple of things that happened before, Dave laughing his fruity laugh as Jade joked with him in his car. Jade making small talk with Dave and then Dave's wide grin he would only use with her. Next came Dave walking around the car to open her door and them both walking out, but then in her memory the sky seemed to darken as they heard a car screech to a stop followed by gunshots as a man walked out of his car a gun pointed to Jade's heart.
"Get in the van or I will shoot you." He said in a horse voice, but Jade was too petrified to do anything and stood there like a deer caught in the headlights of a car it could ultimately save itself from. The next memory that followed was a blurred stretch of images, Dave shouting profanities as the man ever slowly pulled the trigger on Jade, but before the bullet hit her Dave stepped out in front of her fearlessly, like the hero who know he would conclusively meet his extinction. The hero's downfall.
Next Jade remembered Dave turned around to give Jade one last bloodstained kiss as siren's went off in the distance, one last kiss to grace her lips in a final farewell. One last kiss to remember the way Dave loved her deeply and before her met his end Dave had smiled one last grin and in his final goodbye said the words that would ring on forever in Jade's head to torment her every night. "My Jacket pocket. I love you Jade harley."
Then the life in his eyes faded completely dragging away Jade's heart and soul along the way.
She didn't remember the next part but afterwards an image haunted her mind was that of Dave's killer with a sword plunged through his chest and a mangled corpse and the bloodstained fabric of her dress.
Jade remembered after that returning to Dave's body covered in the vital fluid of what ran through his veins every passing second and carefully put the eyelids down on his eyes as if she were merely putting him to an eternal sleep, one to which neither of them would awake from. Jade looked into the pocket of his jacket and found a small velvet box with inside contained a white gold band with a dragon's breath opal ring on it.
It was an engagement ring with the final word engraved that Jade repeated to herself, forever. Forever; forever and a day, eternally; always: They pledged to love each to her forever and a day.
With the last of her breath she kissed Dave's forehead and with soft-spoken words with whispered into his ear "I love you too Dave." and to this day Jade swears she saw him smile a sliver more then when he fell to the ground.