Disclaimer: Weeeeeeell, you all know, and I feel ridiculous for even still typing it every time but … what do you know, I do not own Glee.

A/N: This got crazy long compared to the couple of hundred words I had planned on. About one and a half hours later here we are. Here is, too, what I saw in my head as canon before the episode ruined it for me. Sigh, I guess I should really stop listening to the songs before the episode airs, the disappointment is truly crushing sometimes. Then again, what was I expecting, although ... if I hadn't been too impatient, so me btw, my imagination would likely never had stood a chance to come up with THIS. Enjoy.

That Night We Went Dancing, You and I

As soon as the beat sets in Blaine's heart starts racing madly.

He had practiced the song the day before with Kurt over Skype. And right now Blaine just feels confused and conflicted.

Sure it is meant to be a fun song, '… maybe', but all Blaine can picture right now as Artie begins to sing …

For whatever reason I feel like I've been wanting you all my life

You don't understand, I'm so glad we are at the same place at the same time

… all Blaine can picture is Kurt, Kurt on the day he had told Kurt he wanted to be with him, 'I had really been looking for you forever,', Kurt before, on the day '…the day we met.'

Blaine knows now he should have known then, when he had quickly developed a seemingly inexplicable fondness for that staircase, that he had met '… the love of my life.'

Still lost in thought, in memories, Blaine almost misses his first line, which as soon as he says it makes him only feel more anxious, nauseous even, and 'This is ridiculous,' he finds himself thinking as he says the words …

"It's over now."

'Get a grip. It's not over. We're not ….' But all the self reprimanding does not change the fact, not for a single second, that this is what, this is how all of it makes Blaine feel right now, anxious, and a little lost without Kurt in the room. It reminds him too much, too harshly of the time he had put distance between them … and Chandler had come along.

And he knows this is for Brittany, and had gladly said yes to all and every suggestion made to cheer her up, but he too has to push it down a little, the slight resentment. It has been over a week now since Kurt left and not one of the Glee members has asked him how he is doing.

"I spotted you dancing, you made all the boys stare.

Those lips and your brown eyes and the sexy hair."

And Blaine had almost just messed up that line, all he can see the blue he misses seeing clearer than you can through even the most brilliant internet connection.

'Scandals, that night,' Blaine thinks, and no he is in no way thinking about Sebastian, is not even thinking about that that night.

A couple of weeks later, shortly after his eye had healed up completely they had come back to Scandals, just the two of them, for each other.

They had spent all night dancing with each other, and spent the whole drive home laughing and talking about the guys they had caught staring at either one of them, although Blaine is sure most looks had been directed at Kurt, dark blue long-sleeved shirt bringing out the sparkle in Kurt's eyes even more that night, even in the dim light - not to mention the two songs towards the end, before they had left, that Kurt feeling brave had started lightly grinding against Blaine, who had not needed to be asked twice to pull Kurt closer and join in.

They had stopped with the last beats of the second song, Kurt dissolving into laughter when he had caught Blaine looking down between them, caught up in watching the smooth movements.

The memory of Kurt's teasing tone alone still makes Blaine smile wide and squirm a little, "That good, mh?" And Blaine is sure he would turn the brightest red if Kurt was in this room with him right now to catch his eyes, because all Blaine had been able to do that night had been swallow once and answer with a breathy "Yeah."

What has kept Blaine from going overboard so far, are the memories and the phone calls and Skype dates with Kurt.

And then there is Jeff. He has called Blaine twice already, himself now in a long-distance relationship. It brings amazing relief to have someone to whine with about how much it sucks most days.

At the end of the last school year he had hoped to be able to talk that freely with Mike too, but …. Phone calls with Mike are rather awkward lately, ever since he and Tina split Mike tries to steer clear of all Glee club matters. And sure they still have plenty to talk about, but it had always, ever since they had become best friends, felt so natural to talk about dancing, music, their friends in connection with Glee.

Blaine hates the pressure it builds in him every time he holds back something. He hates the thought of it maybe just being a part of growing up, having to hold back, swallowing down what he knows for himself so clearly, what he has always been so used to saying openly.

Blaine swallows hard right now, like he had that night at Scandals, but for so very different reasons, then spends the rest of the song focusing on Artie and the girls in the club, flirting, no not really, more flirtatiously winking at them. Well he knows he needs to practice that, winking. It never quite seems to work for him, except with Kurt. From the first day they met winking at Kurt had sent shivers, of the best kind, along Blaine's own skin. And as the song comes to an end …

"Can't live with him."

Can't live without him.

… Blaine wishes he could feel Kurt's skin, Kurt's warmth against his, and if it was only holding hands.

He knows the computer screen will be hard and cold again tonight when they press their hands against each other through the camera before they end the Skype call, like they have done every single time since Kurt left for New York – making sure the last words they hear from each other is I love you, even if it means they have to say it more than once, Rachel not seldom butting in, in the last moments of the calls, usually asking about Carole, and well, really about news considering Finn; prompting Kurt to whisper last night as soon as Rachel had been out of earshot, "I'm so happy you are talking to me."

Maybe that moment last night had been what really had brought all these thoughts on, the distance and the possibility of losing each other suddenly so clear, too real then, too real now.

The number over, Blaine sinks down in a choirroom chair, glad he can just blend into the background for a moment while others take the stage, only one thought on his mind, 'I miss you.'