You all are going to kill me, but here's the deal. When I can't enjoy writing a story, I lose interest. It's not to say I didn't enjoy writing Forever My Friend and Safe Place, and those WILL be updated at some point, but I've lose interest in Clandestine mainly because I don't know if I can do the whole eating disorder justice. Perhaps I'll come back to it when I can get the inspiration, but I've had three stories buzzing about in my head that I've been more excited to write. Here is one of them.
Now, this isn't to say that Clandestine will never be updated again. I have a bit of the next chapter written up, but it's been a struggle to go through, seeing as I've lost interest. There's another story up that does a much better job with Ezria fighting through an ED if you'd like to check that out.
The summary of this is fairly simple. I'm pretty sure I don't need to type it out to explain. I hope you enjoy though! More than ten reviews gets this up faster!
Tense glares filled the tiny apartment belonging to a certain Ezra Fitz. Heat, but not the type one would expect manifested every corner as Ezra and his girlfriend, Aria Montgomery flared off in a battle of heated stares. As deep blue meet a striking hazel, terse lines that had once been swollen lips from kissing opened to speak. "Why the hell can't you trust me," Aria demanded, her tone indignant and bold. She'd never been the type to take something sitting down, especially when the man she loved couldn't trust her with a family friend. Aria was aware that Ezra's previous girlfriend, Jackie, had lied about a previous affair and came out about it only nights before their impending wedding, but this was outrageous. Two years had flown by and she hadn't done a thing.
"Because, Aria," Ezra replied sharply. The emphasis on her name was almost crushing and made the tiny brunette take a step back. "You know what's happened in the past. It's not that easy to get over." His fists balled up at his side, looking at his girlfriend. Aria's face turned from shock to hurt all in one sitting.
"You'd really think I'd do that to you? After everything we've been through? Holden is…Holden's just a friend. A friend who's been in the family for years. I was only being polite and I even left the lunch early." Despair colored her tone to a dark, melancholy blue. Aria couldn't ever hurt Ezra. She wouldn't.
Ezra Fitz had met Aria Montgomery at a bar after his sham of a fiancée had spread the news about her affair with her old high school sweetheart. He'd been drinking a gin and tonic whilst Aria had come in, fresh from a college course, to have a quick drink to cap off the night. Ezra had found the girl positively striking and exotically beautiful with her doe eyes and strong eyebrows, complete with a unique facial structure and pouted lips. He'd fallen in an instant, despite the looming memory of Jackie's infidelity.
Aria herself had been drawn to the brooding man with tousled dark hair. As soon as things began rolling and casual dates turned into something far more serious, they learned Aria was Jackie's cousin. The girl hadn't an idea Ezra was the Ezra Fitz; the man her cousin hurt which resulted in Aria's distaste for the woman. After dealing with countless family outbursts, the two set on a course for smooth sailing, until now.
"Ezra, I wouldn't ever hurt you. I couldn't hurt you." Aria's eyes welled up with tears, making Ezra's heart spilt in two. "But if you really think I'm that immature because I'm still in college and think that I'd cheat on you, regardless of what happened in the past, then I don't think it's best we keep seeing each other. No matter how much it hurts." The collecting tears spilled over onto her cheeks as Ezra lunged for her arm. "No," Aria spoke once more, quick and short, pulling her arm away. "I'm sorry, but I need to go." Her final words cut off in a whimper as she hurried out of his apartment, shutting the door quietly on the way out.
It all happened far too fast for Ezra's liking. One minute, they were cuddling on his couch, recounting their day, the next they were fighting and Aria was out the door. Even more so, Ezra was sure that her words marked the end of what would be their relationship. And he didn't even run after her.
He regretted not going after her.
Six months later and Ezra wasn't quite sure if he should've been regretting his decision or not. Aria was still at school, close and nearby, and living her life. He'd seen from her tweets that she'd smoothed out her life after their breakup. Ezra thought he'd done the same, even finding someone new to make him happy. At least, when he didn't think of Aria, he thought he was happy. Thinking of Aria brought back the regret, the nonexistent phone calls, and the heartache, which Ezra so desperately tried to cover up.
Aria wasn't what society thought was good for Ezra. Aria wasn't what his family thought was good for Ezra, especially due to the association with Jackie. Aria was what Ezra knew was right for him, but he was too stubborn to own up to his mistake and call her to make amends.
Spencer Hastings, however, was what society and his family thought as appropriate. The tall brunette had brains and came from a family with money, much like Ezra himself. Her features were sharp, though nowhere near as exotic as Aria's. Ezra thought he was happy, but perhaps it was all an illusion. He wasn't quite sure. Spencer was an intellect with a knack for sarcasm while Aria had been bright, vivacious, and whimsical. Ezra knew it wasn't right to compare and contrast the girls. Aria was his then, but was Spencer really his now? Sitting at his desk in the large building that housed the New York Times, Ezra pondered over the question. It wasn't as if he would be seeing Aria ever again though. That, he was sure of. Or so he thought.
Short, heel studded boots pounded their way against the New York City cement as Aria tried to get back to her apartment building. She'd long since moved out of NYU's dorms the previous year and lived in a tiny studio above a cushy bookstore nearby. Her books were piled in her arms, a reminder of how hard she'd been studying as a distraction. A distraction mainly from him. Six months and she was still pining over Ezra. Aria was positive it was entirely unhealthy to do such a thing. He couldn't trust her. He never called either. If that said the end, then that was it.
"Aria, Aria," called a familiar voice. The small girl spun around to see a much taller brunette chasing her down. Aria had befriended Spencer Hastings towards the beginning of the year when her breakup was fresh. She figured new friends would help her move on. "Thank God I caught up to you," Spencer panted, her satchel clanging at her side. "I know we had plans for tonight, but I think my boyfriend and I might be going to the movies. I wanted to tell you that if you wanted to come along, you're more than welcome to join." From what she'd heard, Spencer had been dating this guy for about two months now. Aria didn't know his name, only that he was older, wrote for a newspaper, and made her happy.
"Are you sure," she inquired, raising an eyebrow. It was signature Aria Montgomery trait. "I don't want to be infringing on date night." The English major was sure she'd have plenty to do when it came to coursework. There were loads sitting on her desk in her waiting apartment.
"I'm positive," Spencer cooed, touching her friends shoulder lightly as if to bring reassurance. "He won't mind. Besides, he's been clamoring to meet some of my friends." A short laugh escaped her lips and Aria smiled in response. "We're seeing that new Will Farrell movie at seven and then were going to grab a bite to eat afterwards. Are you up for it?"
Aria couldn't say no to the hopeful look on her friend's face. From what she could tell, Spencer was eager that she meet the guy. "I'd love to come. I'll meet you both outside the theatre at six forty five, okay?" With a bright smile, she spun around and headed towards her apartment, now in pursuit of what to wear. Aria was one to make a good impression, regardless of the person. In this case, it was her friend's boyfriend. Luckily, she had enough storage for her entire wardrobe back in her place.
The hike up her walk up building was difficult in her shoes, but somehow, Aria seemed to manage. The second floor was only two flights of stairs and the tiny girl was a trooper; always had been and always would be. It was her headstrong nature that pulled her through daunting tasks, even ones such as climbing the stairs in five inch heels. She didn't give up on anything too easily, except for Ezra. But she wouldn't think about that now. There was no use to get down in the dumps before such an exciting night.
With only an allotted amount of time, Aria picked apart her wardrobe to settle upon something that was appropriate for a night at the movies. Of course, she had the notion that she'd be the third wheel for majority of the night, but that would be okay. If needed be for privacy's sake, she'd move to another seat and let the couple have their alone time until it was time to go to dinner. Aria would never pass up a free meal and somehow, Spencer always seemed to know where the most fantastic food was located. Hanger after hanger and drawer after drawer went by until she pulled out a sheer, burgundy blouse and a chiffon burgundy skirt, wearing a white and black striped one piece underneath. Aria layered a few necklaces, slid on a pair of knee high suede boots with a wedge and was out the door, feeling confident as her chestnut colored hair tumbled down her back in waves.
Movie theatres in New York were rare and hard to come by, but luckily, there was one right by campus that showed current movies rather than old classics. Not to say that Aria didn't love the old classics; they were her favorite. But they also brought back memories of Ezra and their old TCM marathons that Aria didn't want to think about. Tonight would be an Ezra free night, or so she hoped. Aria wouldn't be able to help herself in a dark room where people mostly paid attention to a screen.
Per usual, Spencer was right on time, looking immaculate in a long yellow cardigan and tall boots. Though their styles were different, Aria wouldn't put it past her friend for having a good sense of fashion. Spencer was more classic and smart, while Aria was more individual and tried new things. There was a classic element to her outfit that night, but tomorrow she could be wearing studs and a leather jacket. Aria always tried to look tasteful though. In her childhood, she went through phases, even one when she demanded that she had pink streaks colored in her rich toned hair.
"Hey," Spencer cheered, the first one to greet rather than Aria herself. "He's running a little late; held up at printing." She spoke as if she was reading off a checklist, but Aria smiled anyways, putting on her best face.
"I'm sure he'll be here on time." The two girls waited outside the movie theatre until Spencer let out a small giggle. Someone had wound their arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. The boyfriend clearly. Aria turned her head to see the mystery man and just like that, dark blue collided with hazel. Aria's heart accelerated upon seeing a gaze she hadn't thought she'd ever see again. For a moment, she did a double take. It couldn't be him. Ezra Fitz wouldn't mesh with Spencer Hastings. Both were too different. He was her Ezra.
No, he's not, Aria's subconscious reminded her. Ezra Fitz would belong to whoever he wanted. He wasn't hers anymore.
But sure enough, that blue stare stemmed to dark curls and an incredible jaw line. Those blue eyes scanned over the petite girl's face. Ezra wasn't quite sure what to believe. This was a mirage. That was it. He was imagining Aria standing before him. The girl who happened to be Spencer's friend purely looked like the girl who walked out of his apartment with his heart six months prior.
Oblivious to the reaction between the two, Spencer smiled and stood between them, motioning for them to offer their hands to one another. "Ezra Fitz, meet Aria Montgomery. Aria, meet Ezra." Only, she was so unaware of how well they knew each other. Ezra knew Aria was too stubborn for her own good. Aria knew that his favorite book was To Kill a Mockingbird.
And thus, six months later, hazel met blue in a long awaited reunion. One they thought would never come.