Authors notes - Okay, so I'm writing another Soroku fanfiction and I've decided to write it from Roxas's perspective and in the present tense. So this will be interesting because I've never really tried this before. BARE WITH!
Anyway, DISCLAIMER. I do not own any of the Kingdom Hearts characters that I mention within this story. All credit and ownership goes towards Square Enix, The Walt Disney Company and the creators of Kingdom Hearts.
I also do not own the cover image. The original image and all it's beauty was created by this wonderful woman here - NOT ME.
WARNING. This is a romance story revolving around Sora and Roxas and will include a lot of angst. And POSSIBLY sexy times in the future chapters, but I'm still debating whether I'm mature enough to write them yet, hehe.
Anyway, LET'S BEGIN!
Eat My Heart Out, Chapter 1
I glare at the man sitting opposite me. The man I'm supposed to call my "father". He's aged considerably over the years, wrinkles galore. His eyes are different as well. They used to hold so much energy and happiness within them, but now they're just empty and bottomless...
But it's not only his appearance that's changed, his personality has as well. He's no longer caring or compassionate like he used to be. It's like he's been replaced by a robot, one that's devoid of emotion.
If asked if I knew who this man was, I would wholeheartedly answer NO.
How did things get this way?
I turn my head and catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror standing up against the wall. The boy who's staring back at me looks so... Different. I still have the same distinctive hairstyle I've always had, light blonde and styled like a bird's nest, but my eyes have changed. They used to be so... Care free. But now they're consumed with worry and regret.
I sigh. Five years ago everything was so perfect...
My life was perfect. My family was perfect. I was perfect. I didn't think anyone or anything could put a rid us of our perfection...
I turn around and look out of the window, thinking back to how all of our lives unraveled so quickly...
Four years ago, when I was eleven, my father lost his job. He was outraged. And so were we. We were all so dependent on the large amounts of money he made, that kept us living our "perfect" extravagant lifestyles, that we didn't know any other way to react.
Every night he would come home dangerously drunk, cursing and yelling at the world. My mother always used to try to calm him down but he would never listen to her. That's when all of our lives slowly began to leave the "perfect" world we were so used to...
Then, one year later, my mother was murdered... By my father. That's when all of our "perfect" lives came crumbling down. Immediately.
I can still remember her screams that dreadful night. Horrible, gut wrenching, ear-piercing screams... I can also remember frantically running down the stairs, tripping and falling along the way. But by the time I reached the living room I was too late. My mother was already dead. Beaten until she could no longer determine what was real.
I called the police straight away, but when they arrived at our house my father had already created an alibi and an account of what "really" happened. He's deceive and manipulative like that, even when he's drunk...
Unfortunately he wasn't sent to jail. The police believed his story. His story that my older brother, Ventus, killed our mother. He was taken into custody before I could even say goodbye...
A bird flies past, momentarily distracting me from reminiscing.
That was three years ago and I haven't seen him since. I'm not allowed to visit him because my father forbids me. Naminé, my younger sister, isn't allowed to visit him either. It seems our father just wants us to forget about him. The bastard. Me and Ventus used to be so close... I can't imagine how he must be feeling now... But I keep telling myself that he's okay. I know he's strong enough to handle anything life throws at him.
I wish I could be like him...
I haven't seen Naminé in a long time either. Regrettably I've seen my father every week, as he's instructed to visit me as often as he can. But every time I see his ugly face I have to restrain myself from getting a knife and stabbing it repeatedly. And I wouldn't feel guilty because he destroyed our lives, he killed our mother, and he's the reason I'm suffering. I know the man who used to give me piggybacks and take me out for sea salt ice cream when I was younger no longer exists.
My psychiatrist lets go of some paperwork, letting it land on the table with a big BANG. I jump slightly and turn around to face her and my father.
"Here's Roxas's paperwork, please sign at the bottom of each page." My psychiatrist, Aerith, says polity. My father nods drearily.
"And what am I agreeing to?" He asks,
"Just that you'll make sure that Roxas stays on a diet of 2500 calories a day, that you'll also make sure that you monitor him during meal times and that if he does unfortunately relapse, that you'll bring him back immediately, so we can tackle the problem straight away." She explains, smiling like she always does.
"Right." He nods.
There's a long pause as my father scribbles down his signature in a haphazard fashion. I don't even think he's bothering to read anything. Not that it surprises me. He only sent me to this eating disorder clinic so he could get rid of me until I recovered. Which, unluckily for him, is today.
"Done." He finishes with a sigh. Aerith nods and collects the paperwork before placing it into a file with my name on it.
"Thank-you Mr Sky, now would you mind waiting outside? I'd like to talk to Roxas before he leaves." She says. My father nods before heaving himself out of his chair. He strolls outside and closes the door behind him.
"Roxas..." Aerith begins, reaching her hand out to touch mine, "I know these past four years have been difficult for you... But, I want you to know how proud I am of you. You've come such a long way. I still remember when I first met you... How small you looked, you were just under 80 pounds and I remember you were adamant on loosing more weight..."
I nod, remembering how close I came to dying...
"But now you're so much healthier, so much stronger and so much happier than you were," She continues, "And I'll miss you, truly. Out of all the patients I've treated over the years, you've been one of my favorites. And remember, you defeated an eating disorder, you take down any obstacle in your path." She finishes, tears steaming down her face. I sniff and smile slightly.
"Thank-you Aerith..." I breathe. Despite everything that's happened in the past four years I'm glad to have met her, she reminds me of my mother a little bit.
She nods and retrieves a box of tissues from her behind her, which we used frequently during our sessions throughout the year. She wipes her eyes and hands me a few of them
"This isn't goodbye forever though," She sniffs, "I'll be checking up on you every few weeks, okay?" I nod, thankful that this isn't our last conversation together.
Both of us stand up and Aerith throws her arms around me.
"Good luck." She whispers. I nod and wipe my eyes with a tissue.
Suddenly, my father walks in and I break the hug.
"Done?" He asks. I nod and turn to face Aerith, who's smiling warmly at me.
"See you in a few weeks." I say hoarsely. She nods as my father leads me out of the room, trudging down the hallway.
"Wait, Roxas!" Someone calls out. I turn around and see Xion walking towards me, one of my best friends. She's dressed in her usual white gown, since she's very underweight and has to kept in the hospital wing constantly, and smiling happily. "I just wanted to wish you good luck! And goodbye! Oh! And remember to email me, you have my address, yeah?"
I nod, unable to hold back the tears anymore. The realization that I won't be able to see Xion ever again is hard to accept. Without her support I don't think I would've been able to recover.
"Uh... Yeah I do and I will, I promise." I say,
"Yay! Congratulations on beating Ana, I know you've got a bright future ahead of you Mister!" She exclaims cheerily. I laugh and turn to face my father, who's waiting impatiently by the entrance.
"Thank-you Xion. I know you will as well..." I say, "I'll miss-"
"Wait! This isn't goodbye indefinitely. We'll see each other again!" She exclaims, "After I'm out of this dump we'll hang out all the time!"
"We will?" I ask,
"Sure we will, as long as you're still living in Twilight Town! And you can still visit here me as well." She says. I let a smile form on my face, realizing that this isn't the end of our friendship, we'll see each other again.
"Yeah." I agree. She smiles and waves at me.
I reach the entrance and turn around, taking one more look at the eating disorder clinic. It's been an emotional year living here. But I'll miss everyone I've met... And now I know I have the strength to tackle things I was too weak to face before. Like Aerith's said,
"Remember, you defeated an eating disorder, you take down any obstacle in your path!"
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
My father starts the engine and a low growling noise erupts from the back of the car. He swerves out of the car park and onto the main road which leads into Twilight Town.
The journey is silent.
I haven't really thought about what it's going to be like living under the same roof as my mothers murderer, because he's no longer my father. I wonder how Naminé's copped with it? And why hasn't she already killed him in his sleep? I know I would've...
All of a sudden my father exits into another lane.
"Where are you going?" I ask bluntly, "Home's back that way."
"Not anymore." He replies,
"What?" I ask, confusion hidden within my voice. He smiles slightly,
"I thought we needed a change of scenery. There were just too many bad memories cooped up in our old house, don't you think?" He asks rhetorically. I blink, afraid of what he's going to say next. "We live on Destiny Island now, right by the coast. It's an hours drive from here but I think you'll like it. You'll start a new school, make new friends, trust me, this is exactly what you need."
I open my mouth to protest but find myself mute. My father laughs at my dumbfounded expression and playfully punches me on the shoulder,
"Don't worry kiddo, it'll be just like old times!" He says, smiling.
No, it won't be like old times you bastard, I think to myself.
I sink back into my seat and feel tears form in my eyes, suddenly realizing that I won't be seeing Xion or Aerith ever again...
Okay so, I hope you enjoyed reading my first chapter! Please tell me what you think, feedback is always lovely to hear... Well, read, hehe.
I know there are a few grammatical errors, like missing commas and such, but I hope they didn't distract from the story too much.
Thank-you for reading!