Chapter 1

A flower. Crimson red. How pretty.

She asks me where the flower came from. Idiot. She looks around the room, taking in all the flowers in sight. I'm reflected in her eyes as she stares at me. Scared. She sees me arm. Busted. Screams. Shut up. She leaves to get her husband; they come back quickly. More screams. Shut up. Shut up. They ask me why. Stop!

You ask me why I'm here. As if you don't know already. You say you want to help me. That's what they all say. You say you don't understand why I'm doing it. No one understands. You ask how it started. You'll think it's stupid. You say you won't hurt me. You already did.

Hearing the last bell ring is horrible. The first bell means to get ready. Ding! The second means it's almost here. Ding! The last; you're dead. DING!

Great. It's here.

"Hey Alice! We've been waiting for you! Come out of the classroom already!" says Julia. Julia is what would be called a "prep"; she's the leader of the rest of them. All the same; fake.

"Go on Alice, don't make your friends wait." Mr. K says. I say nothing. I don't smile at him. I just leave.

"Thanks Mr. K!" Jackie says. Jackie is Julia's best friend, always following her like bitch. He smiles and says bye.

We walk into the hallways and into the bathroom. Her pack is here too; one of them locks the door. Here we go again.

"Hey cunt, you've been avoiding us lately. What's wrong?" Julia says. The masks are coming off.

"Yea, tell your 'friends your problems." Taunts Jackie.

"'Friends'? What 'friends'?" Amy leers.

"I heard that you got admitted to some freak place! I've also heard that this is your last day here."

"That true?"

"Yea, tell us!"

"Hey why aren't you talking?"

"Yea, and look up when talking to your superiors!"

A hit. Ow! Laughter. Stop it. My head hurts.

"Hahaha! Do it again Julia!"

"Trust me, I will."

I get ready. My teeth are clenched; ready for the next blow.

"We'll give you a proper farewell Bitch."

Another hit. It's ok. Some one punches my stomach. Ok, that hurt. I keel over. A kick to my ear. Holy cow! Someone spits on my face. Ever hear of a breath mint? They laugh as if it's a game. My head hurts and I can't hear. Is bullying fun?

I black out. The nurse finds me on the floor with a pool of blood.

Julia and I used to be best friends; inseparable. I realize soon enough that she's been talking about me behind my back. I pretend to not know. It's hard.

Her boyfriend dumps her because he says he likes me. Sucks for her. Except he announced this loudly in the middle of the lunchroom when I was behind her. Julia's mad, very pissed. Not my fault.

That's how it started. But I don't tell you. I won't tell anybody.

You look at me with blank eyes; as if you're reading my mind. I hate it.

"I can see you're thinking." You say.

I don't reply.

"I can help you if you'll let me." You lie.

I look away.

You sigh. "Okay, that's enough for today. You can go back to your room."

I leave without looking back. The hallways here are so boring; same old cream color everywhere. A little pink should look nice. I go back to the group. Whenever the staff here says room, it means the group. Our rooms where we sleep in are what we name it. My group named it Utopia. Childish. My hand finds the door knob; the door creeks open.

Six girls. Six problems. All face towards me.

"Hey MP!" Kiara greets. A hot Blondie; I like her the best; she's the most similar to me. Kiara is here for an eating disorder; anorexia nervosa. She used to be bullied at her school as well being called fat and all when really she's far from fat. Just too self conscious.

"MP how was it?" asks Megan. Megan is another chick; she's known around here for her hair colors that always change every month. This month it's a bright neon green. She came here because of an eating disorder as well. Except for obesity. Megan's the type of girl to "eat her feelings"; eating is her cure.

"She doesn't talk Einstein," replies Osimhe. She's the one that gives out the best advice here. Osimhe's here for drugs; weed, speed, ecstasy, you name it, she's done it.

"Haha! Megan you keep on forgetting!" Exclaims Ryan. He doesn't have a problem actually. Ryan's here because his parents put him here; they think that being gay is a problem. It doesn't seem like he's bothered being around us freaks all the time.

"Shut up Ryan!" Megan says.

"I'm just stating the obvious hun."

"Guys shut up. Can't a girl sleep around here?" Andrea complains. She's also like Kiara; except worse. Since she hardly eats, she gets tired really easily and sleeps about 12 13 hours every day. Sometimes she gets hooked to a feeding machine. Andrea is really nice but if you get her mad, she's nasty.

"Andrea, if you want to sleep, go to Utopia!" Exclaims Kiara.

"No."

"Guys I want to read so shut up." Ashleigh says. We all shut up.

Ashleigh is really nice. She's here because of drugs as well. Except less than Osimhe. She's super nice and supportive but when she has a book in her hand, no one can tell where it'll land when she gets annoyed.

I smile at all of this. Ever since I got put in here, I found a new family, one where no one is a freak. Here, we're all normal.

"Hey you guys, how much do you want to bet old bush just sat in her chair the whole 2 hours saying shit like 'I'll help you if you tell me' and so on?" Kiara whispers.

"What's the point of betting on it if we all know it happened?" Retorts Andrea.

"Oh, I thought you were sleeping!"

"Who can sleep with all the noise here?"

"You usually do!" Exclaims Ryan. We all giggle at that; but I just smile.

"Oh please shut up! Urgh!" Complains Ashleigh. We all shut up; then we leave the group room and go our separate ways.

This place is called the Smile Facility. So cheesy. All the freaks in here call it the hospital though. I came to the hospital two years ago and I'm used to everything that goes on around here now.

Walking through the boring hallways again, I finally reach the back door. Behind the back door, is my favorite place here. No one really comes here so it's usually quiet. However, the place where I like the best is a big open hut that is covered by flowers and vines that makes it hard for people to notice it. Plus it's behind all the bushes and trees. I make my way towards the hut; I name it Angel. Pushing my way through all the vines in the trees and bushes, I stand in front of it.

I sit in the hut and rest my eyes. The hole in the roof easily lets me look up at the sky. Skies always look so peaceful; as if they have no worries. Unlike me.