Try to forgive, teach me to live,

give me the strength to try-

No more memories! No more silent tears!

No more gazing across the wasted years!

Help me say goodbye.

Help me say goodbye!

Christine supposed she had been lost for a very long time, but it was only in the last several days she felt the emotion so strongly.

The last time she had felt so alone had been with the death of her father. They had shared more than the typical father-daughter relationship, especially after her mother had gone to the angels. Friends, companions...they had shared a cozy travelling existence, making their way from orchestra to orchestra throughout the continent. Her childhood had been rich, and unique, and full of love, if not wealth.

And then they arrived in Paris, he became ill, and died. And that was it, until a small voice in the darkness called to her and let her voice free.

Of course, that voice grew stronger over the years, and demanding. But it could also be kind, and there was not a lot of kindness for a poor orphan living on the charity of the ballet school.

She knew her faith had been blind, and had closed her mind to the possibility that this gift from the heavens was not such a gift after all. But the events that had forced her to open her mind to reality had left her shaken. This was not her father, or her Angel, or even another man. This was a murdering, inhumane...thing that had abused her trust.

Yet at the same time, the Voice's influence had held her steady for so long, and given her so much.

Perhaps the greatest gift she could afford to give would be the one the Voice could least abide.

And then there was Raoul. Sweet, strong Raoul.

They had met while she and her father were at the seaside. They became fast friends, in the ways only youth can immediately trust and confide in each other. But the summer passed quickly, and he was gone, never to be seen again.

His appearance had been pleasant, and had been another gift from the heavens to remind her of her father. And the beginnings of young romance are always sweet, and the added terror of her Voice (she refused to call it an Angel now) had encouraged the union.

But...she hurt over the fact that Raoul insisted on her performing in something that she truly feared would cost her dearly. And he continued to treat her like a child when it came to her fears, even when it was proven her fears were based in fact.

He seemed entrenched in the past. And she worried he would never see her as the woman she had grown into. Or could be.

She only visited her father's grave once or twice a year, due to commitments at the opera house. But now, she needed to be near him as she pondered.

And at the end of her thoughts, she hurried from the snowy cemetery ignoring the voice floating through her head. She had a plan to save herself.

She visited the Opera Populaire once more. She had several notes to drop off, as well as someone to visit.

Of course, the diva Carlotta was decidedly unimpressed with the appearance of Christine at her front door. But the prima donna grumpily let her rival in, and even poured tea. Awkward small talk and tea was attempted, but soon Christine revealed her business.

"I am sorry.", she said.

Carlotta set down her tea, and stiffly replied, "Whatever for?"

"For the past three years, the past six months...all of it. It has not been a pleasant time for lead sopranos. But I am sorry that it occurred, and I have a solution."

Carlotta moved from stiffly displeased to stiffly intrigued. And then irritated with Christine's much-too-long pause. "Well, what? What is your solution?"

Christine half-heartedly laughed. "I must leave. There is not room for the both of us, and I concede to experience. I plan to leave for good tomorrow evening. I care not where. As long as it is...not here."

Carlotta stated, "I shall not pretend to miss you, but not knowing where you are going seems a poor plan."

Christine hesitated, paused, then spoke again. "I was hoping you might write me a letter of introduction some place. All I have is the opera. You have performed at several grand houses. If you could find it within yourself to assist, I would be willing to leave for wherever you might choose."

Carlotta took a moment to think. "I shall recommend you to the Teatro Massimo. They are relatively new, and while I know the managers personally I do not think they have strong sopranos as of yet. You should be able to sing without offending those who are your betters. I shall also write to them to expect you."

Christine thanked Carlotta profusely, ignored the poor manners, took the letter when provided, and left.

Madame Giry,

I thank you Madame for all you have done for me over the years. My father would have been pleased, were he still here.

Do not worry for me-Carlotta has been most kind in providing me with a reference. By the time you find this, I should be well on my way out of the country.

I beg you to perform one last favor, and distribute the rest of these messages for me.

I hope you find happiness in the future.

Christine

Monsieurs Firmin & André,

I regret to tender my resignation from the Opera Populaire beginning immediately. You shall not be seeing me again, as I have secured gainful employment elsewhere. I wish you and the company all the best.

Christine Daaé

P.S. I beg you to reconsider your plot concerning "Don Juan".

Meg,

Do not worry, Meg! I hope you will understand-I simply could not stay there another day. A disaster would have occurred. And those who could have stopped the madness, refused to listen. Yes Meg, I place Raoul in that same group.

Please do not tell anyone else, but I shall send you a message when I am settled. You shall send me news of Carlotta's latest outrages, and I shall send you tokens from my travels. Such fun we will have!

Love,

Christine

Raoul,

My dearest Raoul. I am sorry I did not have the courage to tell you of my plans in person, but I felt that I would lose my nerve.

Please do not consider our engagement still in effect. Enclosed you will find the ring you so kindly gifted me, and I felt I could not wear.

I have more I wish to say, but I fear a farewell is not the place to say it,

Therefore, farewell, Raoul.

Christine

To he who goes by O.G., Angel, Phantom...

Thank you for your lessons, and the gift of your comfort over the last few years. However, it is time for me to grow into the woman Papá wished me to be, and I cannot do that in a place so full of memories.

Please do not cause more senseless destruction in a sanctuary of music. I fear the business would never recover. The managers truly cannot afford another chandelier.

Your Angel

A/N: "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" is the inspiration for this one-shot. I HATE that Christine makes this wonderful pledge to change her life...and two seconds later is enthralled once again. (Just as I hate the ending of Grease for Sandy lowering her standards and becoming the 'bad girl' to get the guy. Bleh.)