AN: This story involves my OC, Becca and I guess you could say an OC/AU Doctor. The Doctor I have envisioned here is my image of a future doctor...I'm thinking the regeneration after the current Doctor. The inspiration for this story came from the following quote from "Deep Breath"...
Clara: "You shouldn't have been listening"
The Doctor: "I wasn't, I didn't need to. That was me talking. You can't see me, can you? You look at me and you can't see. Do you have any idea what that's like? I'm not on the phone…I'm right here, standing in front of you. Please just…just see me."
When reading this story keep the Doctor's words in mind and try to imagine how he felt and how Clara's rejection of his new self must have affected him. Imagine how he might have carried the memory (buried of course) of that moment throughout his 12th incarnation...clear up to the moment of his next one. That is where this story begins...
The Doctor had been remembering the aftermath of his last regeneration and the reaction of his then companion. He'd been standing right in front of her and she looked right at him…through him. She had been one of the few he had trusted to see his regeneration, and more importantly the person who he had thought really knew him. To find out that she couldn't even see that he was the same person, just in a different body…oh how that rejection had hurt!
That was then…but he was here in the now, years later, at the cusp of regeneration again, and he didn't know what was going to happen to him. He was alone and, if he being honest, a bit scared. Regeneration was dodgy business at the best of times, things sometimes went...wrong in the process, and this was not the best of times he admitted to himself.
The Doctor's hands were already starting to glow ghostly golden and he knew he didn't have much time. Moving swiftly around the console, turning dials and flipping switches despite the increasing pain he was feeling, he had to make sure that the TARDIS coordinates were set. This regeneration, he had a feeling, was going to be a rough one and he was sending the TARDIS to a particular place and time where he hoped he would be welcome. Just as he flipped the last lever to send the TARDIS hurtling into the time vortex, the first of many waves of pain doubled him over.
Through the vortex his TARDIS faithfully flew tumbling and spinning wildly. Oh yes, this regeneration is going to be tricky, were his last thought as his current body was consumed by flares of bright golden energy. His awareness burned as the change occurred….he felt momentarily adrift, as if his consciousness was lost and floating away. He was blinded by the lack of any physical senses except the pain of transformation...
After a time the Doctor slowly awoke in his new body and tried to stand. When had he collapsed to the TARDIS floor? As he heaved himself up, using the console for leverage, he checked for all the necessary body parts and was grateful to find them all in place. He realized with a bit of shock that he felt feverish, and still felt regeneration energy trapped within him. Oh this was not good….could def-fin-itely be bad! As he slowly made his way out of the TARDIS, he could only hope he had successfully programmed the correct coordinates before his collapse. As he exited the TARDIS door unsteadily and closed it behind him, he was relieved that the sight in front of him looked familiar. An urgent and uneasy intuition propelled him onward as he continued towards his destination. He could feel the sweat beading on his brow, and from the looks he was getting from the few humans around him, he assumed he really didn't look very well either.
He was briefly terrified…what if I'm wrong, what if she doesn't know me and sends me away…what then? You haven't seen her in years but now you need her to be there... what the worst happens and she doesn't know you? Doesn't recognize you with this new face? His previous companion had doubted him, though she had witnessed the change right before her eyes. If one who had been there to witness regeneration with their own eyes had doubts- then how do you expect someone you haven't visited in years to know it is you? And why come back to this particular human? The fears tumbled through his mind. Yet here is where your instincts are leading you…why?
Despite his weakening strength he somehow he made it to his destination…the porch of a small green house situated on the outskirts of town. Thankfully the TARDIS had landed him close by. He gathered what courage and strength he had left and knocked on the door, and then he waited…