AN: I disclaim
They stood tall and short, and gazed out on the destruction that they had caused. Their faces stained with years of the agony of things they could not understand.
"So... this is it then?"
"I think so."
The two companions walked down the street, knee in knee. Although...since the height difference was quite substantial, it would be more accurate to say leg in knee. And so they trekked, down the valleys, up the slopes and across various pits and moors. Into the splendid sunset of the rest of their lives, to destinies unknown to them. Their banishment had been the final act of Lloyd Morrisett to try to protect the world, as he knew it. The casualties had been large; Zoe would never be the same. Bert would be forever lost without his Ernie. But it was all for naught in the end. How could they hope to survive in this strange and alien world beyond the street of Sesame? A lone yellow feather drifted to the ground and settled in a cloud of dust behind their retreating backs. How different it would be now that they had left their home. It was true that they never really liked it to begin with, but they had been comfortable there. The weaknesses of those around them they had known intrinsically.
"Hey Elmo."
"Yes Big Bird?"
"I need that now."
Sighing, Elmo handed the over-sized butcher knife into Big Bird's waiting hand.
"What do you need it for?"
Big Bird did not reply, but threw the weapon with careless grace into the shrubbery. An unearthly shriek pierced the silence, followed moments later by the fall of a heavily built number.
"Two! Ah-ah-ah"
"Shut up Elmo."
"You're no fun..." Elmo whined, throwing the Count's decapitated head to the ground.
"Elmo... That is honestly disgusting."
"Puppets are fun though~"
Big Bird sighed and continued down the path of no return. Elmo looked for a few moments longer at the recently deceased number before retrieving the knife and continuing after his companion.
"N-no! Please don't! I'm begging you! Please stop!"
Only a quiet chuckle was the reply.
"I'll do anything!"
A furry red hand rose in the air, halting the downward swoop of the others glinting blade.
"Anything?"
"Anything, anything at all! Just please don't do this!"
"He's a liar. Let's just deal with him here."
Elmo shook his head.
"We'll use him. He could be very useful to us."
Big Bird rolled his eyes, but tucked away his blade nonetheless.
"Now, here's what we want you to do..."
The timid, rather victimised looking man passed across the border of Sesame Street quite unremarked. His large coat offered no consolation to him that his purpose would not be found out. He walked briskly past numerous people picking up some of the remnants of their lives before what had come to be known as 'The Snap'. It was not long before his target came into view. His heart racing, he rang the doorbell for Bert and Ernie's joint apartment. Although, as he had been recently informed, only Bert lived here now.
"W-who is it?" Came a wavering voice from behind the door.
"My name is Pete... I've come from the city to offer my condolences to your town following your recent tragedy."
"Why are you here?"
"I heard you had lost someone important to you."
The apartment door opened slightly, Bert's yellow face peering out from the crack. After assessing the danger of letting the newcomer in, Bert let the door swing open.
"Would you like... tea?"
"If you wouldn't mind, that would be lovely."
Bert led his visitor through his wreck of an apartment.
"Sorry for the mess. It's hard to be tidy when you feel like your soul has been ripped in two."
Pete's hand tightened its grip on his deadly gift. 'This is a mercy mission...' He told himself. 'I would be putting him out of his misery.' Part of him knew however that nothing could justify what he was about to do.
After tea and listening to Bert recount his tragic story, Pete took his leave, leaving behind his 'gift' ticking under the coffee table. He walked quickly down the street, crossing back over the border with no one once questioning his presence. Back at Bert's apartment, the present reached the end of its countdown and promptly tore the apartment and all its contents to shreds. Hours later, as a tired and miserable group of Sesame Street inhabitants cleared up the rubble, all that was left of the pair that had lived there was a singed patch of molten yellow.
"I did it."
"We know."
"... Can I leave now?"
"Can you outrun a bullet?"
Pete's face paled.
"I did what you wanted! Why would you say that?"
Elmo spun the silver-barrelled weapon around his finger nonchalantly.
"How can we know you won't talk?"
"I won't! I promise!"
"Well... how about we compromise... I'll give you five seconds to get through that door before I fire."
"I don't know Elmo, how good's your aim?" Big Bird hissed. He was not looking forward to having to let this guy go should Elmo miss.
Elmo grinned.
"Don't worry Big Bird. He's going to have to outrun my bullet if he wants to save himself."
Big Bird stood back, content that his companion would take care of things sufficiently. Elmo let his firing arm hang by his side and levelled a steely gaze at the trembling man before him.
"Ready?... Set..."
Big Bird noted with grim satisfaction that Pete looked on the verge of collapsing. The next word was barely more than a whisper.
"Go."
Pete took off, stumbling blindly towards where he remembered the door being. The time it took for the gun to spring to life behind him seemed far too short to the fleeing and terrorised man. He flailed his legs desperately in any attempt to evade his fate.
"Too slow." Big Bird remarked, eyes glinting in the dark.
"Two birds with one stone Big Bird..." Elmo mused. "We're doing well."
They continued along their lonely road. Two figures, tall and short, marching side by side. Their quest was long; their task was hard. They wondered if they'd ever again see light. Gun in hand and blade in palm; a deadly pair who did all harm. Until the end of their lives they continued attempts to rule the world through underhanded tactics and midnight storms into houses undefended. Single swipes bringing children to the ground.