One bracing January morning, America was right about to take a sip of warm, refreshing, coffee when - -
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.
"A-AMERICA! S-SAVE NII-SAN!"
- - as the front door flew from its hinges and a disheveled France sprinted into the kitchen, bruised and trembling.
And thus began the strangest series of events as America brought France to the emergency room, with a cheerful promise that the HERO would help.
But why did it feel as if he were forgetting something very, very, important? America shrugged and ran to Tony for information on alien threats, putting that from his mind...
...until something happened, the next day's noon.
Snow arrived by the truck-full, blinding Washington D.C. as America gobbled up a mountain of juicy hamburgers. It was a perfectly delectable lunch, at least until - -
"B-BLOODY HELL, H-HELP YOU G-GIT!"
- - and England appeared in the room with a great flash of light, scorching the walls and leaving America's delicious hamburgers in a pitiful pile of ashes. England promptly broke several tea cups with his bloodied fingers before going into shock. For the second time in two days, America called the paramedics. Which would've been simply a strange coincidence had not - -
"A-America, p-lease help-p! S-save us-s!"
- - and Lithuania ran in, troubled and crying (otherwise normally, through repaired front door), before fainting. After living so long in fear with Russia, it was amazing that he could be scared to such a degree. Another ambulance was called, while the HERO was sunk in though.
What was he forgetting?
Over the next few days, the list of victims grew exponentially. So many nations bombarded his home, not excluding Poland (and a... pony?), South Korea, the Nordics, Switzerland (plus one glaring Liechtenstein holding a machine-gun) and a comatose Sealand.
It was time to do something about it! On this somber note, a world meeting was held, as something nagged in the back of America's head. What was it, that strange déjà vu?
"I OFFICIALLY START THIS WORLD MEETING *SLURP**MUNCH**SLURP**SLURP*! I SAY WE GET A HERO TO DEFEAT THIS *SLURP**MUNCH**SLURP* MONSTER!" America yelled, simultaneously slurping soda and gobbling hamburgers.
Russia smiled darkly, ignoring the other nation's suggestion. "Why did a troubled and crying Lithuania go to you...?"
Germany, thankfully, was more pragmatic. "Does anyone have any evidence of what happened to the nations?"
"THEY WERE ATTACKED IN THE WINTER! IT WAS A YETI!" America yelled and the spotlight fell on China, munching dumplings*.
"Ai-ya, don't look at me aru! Nobody has even proven that those... things exist, aru!" The ancient nation exclaimed. "Besides, doesn't America have Wendigo** in his home, aru?"
"I say that they didn't eat enough pa~sta!" Italy said cheerfully, earning many odd looks and a muttered curse from his brother.
Romano looked like he was about to curse. "They were already living that way for centuries without a problem."
"Ve..."
Meanwhile, China and South Korea were arguing over who invented sushi, while Japan looked quite uncomfortable. Greece was asleep as the room filled with cats and Liechtenstein held up a machine gun at an oblivious America. Spain, meanwhile, had taken up to hugging a tomato-red Romano ("G-get your hand off me, you tomato bastard!").
Germany sighed. Couldn't they hold a productive meeting for once in all of history?!
Then Russia stopped smiling and frowned.
The three Baltic Nations trembled harder and the room froze in silence.
"Why isn't this seat as soft as usual?" he asked.
Everyone suddenly remembered that awkward incident when Russia sat on Canada...
...speaking of which, America thought, where was his brother? Sure, he was practically invisible (even with a polar bear, which should normally have been quite glaring), but it seemed as if the polite, dutiful nation was actually missing a meeting.
"Could Canada please stand up?" Germany questioned, to an absolutely still room.
He got no reply. There could not have been less movement if he had stopped time.
"America-san, have you heard from Canada-san?" Japan queried softly.
At this point, the superpower's thoughts were racing. It was winter. Nations were coming to him for help, like they did when they needed to talk about his brother. A cold wind had been blowing in from the north for the past few days, just like now... wait, WHAT?
A battered Prussia stumbled in.
"T-the awesome me h-has found-d the m-monster! S-so not awesome... bloody red..." he whispered, before falling down, unconscious.
Bloody red... communist? Russia? China? No wait, there was something even more terrifying.
"CANADA!" America shouted out cheerfully, finally finding what he was unconsciously thinking about, as well as the answer to the riddle.
"HE'S REALLY SCARY WHENEVER HE HEARS ABOUT HOCKEY! SO JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT HOCKEY, AND WHATEVER YOU DO, NEVER YELL IT OUT THREE TIMES IN A ROW, LIKE THIS! HOCKEY! HOCKEY! HOCKEY!"
America beamed to a room of petrified nations. There, at the door, was Canada, wearing his usual benevolent expression.
"Maple! I'm late!" he said, his voice as gentle as always.
The room was suddenly encased under a layer of ice. Chairs and tables flew out-of-the-way as sports equipment appeared out of thin air.
A fleet of ambulances could later be seen coming out of the street. Panicked sirens echoed through the city.
Several weeks later, Canada apologized to all the nations of the world with an enormous basket of maple syrup.
"Sorry for all the trouble...!"
All the nations silently promised themselves never to talk about hockey or really anger the often-forgotten country ever again. (Well everyone except America and Italy, that is, mostly because they still hadn't read "The Atmosphere". Maybe they'd look in Canada's home, this time? America's brother was often praised about such a talent when the other nations remembered him.)
*A reference to alleged Yeti sightings and footprints in the Himalayas.
**Wendigo are creatures in First Nations mythology. They are either malevolent creatures that posses humans or take the form of them for the sake of preying upon their flesh; the Wendigo is typically associated with winter or famine.
Written because I really want to go home to Canada. Yeah... this is really weird... so... review~?