I've never done a Super Smash Bros. fanfic before, but it seems like it's gonna be really fun. This is an idea that was planted into my head by my friends, and I loved it. Of course, I don't own Super Smash Brothers in any way, or the characters, or the word 'light saber' or what it implies. Or the game Twister. Here's my best shot, and I hope I can stick to this, too. Anyway, here we go.

Super-Ultra-Mega Punker Jamboree!

The sound of fists and feet swinging, and missiles flying could be heard, as Wario, Captain Falcon, and Samus were brawlin' on the Pokemon Stadium II stage floor. In the split second that followed, three things happened... Samus shot Captain Falcon with a missile, Wario wedged him in with a gaseous explosion, and a rather big motorcycle soared through the air from the right. As the motorcycle was flying, an unknown person was flying through the air... though he did have what looked to be a ghetto light saber. He flew at a diagonal angle and landed behind everyone, and the first word he says here, just like in his game was...

"FUCKHEADS!" was heard, all across the field, echoing a bit...

Once he had yelled that, it took two seconds, but their heads exploded in a gush of blood (Yea, even Samus, even though she's wearing a helmet.), and all of them went flying off the stage to the left. He laughed, and looked around. Where was he, he wondered... Nowhere he'd ever been, that's for sure. Then he looked up and noticed, they were coming back!? What the fuck, man!?

Samus jumped down first, and ran straight up to this grease-hawk haired guy, and then asked him, angrily "What was that, huh!? Who are you!?"

He nodded, looking angrily through his yellow sunglasses, and said, in the most gangsta way ever... "Travis mutha-fuckin' Touchdown."

With that, she pounded him in the face, twice, once with her fist, the other with her arm cannon, and then spinning kicked him, knocking him back, but he skidded to a stop, and by this time, Wario had landed behind him. He smirked menacingly, and whipped around, and slashed two times at Wario, in an X pattern, then kicked him, which he flew back a little, then he did what would essentially be an over-b attack, and did a dashing slash at Samus, but Captain Falcon had landed there, so he got cut, the faint electricity crackling on his beam katana. He obviously didn't charge the attack at all, though. He then ran up to Samus, and stopped right up to her helmet.

"You must be Samus, 'eh? Well, all three of you at once should be a damn good challenge for me, really. Now let's do it... Ms. Cosplay." Travis snickered to her.

He then dash slashed back at Captain Falcon, yelling "Get in my way, will you!?"

That knocked the awesome racer back, and he then ran up to him, and waited until Captain Falcon went to swing at him, to do his down-b, the sliding strafe. Of course, this slows the time for Captain Falcon, and allows Travis to hit him, numerous times, before he launches him away, a bit. Wario decided to come up, and he saw him run up, and again, sliding strafed. He hit Wario up for about 20 hits before knocking him away. He needed his beam katana with a little more flare to it... he switched over from his Blood Berry to his Tsubaki using his B move. He then charged up his dashing slash, as there was a slight kick up of dust, and lots of light blue electricity sparked off on his beam katana. He then slashed forward, and hit Wario AND Captain Falcon, and they both flew back into Samus, and as he ran at her now. He was pretty much met with a fist that knocked him back, then a missile to juggle him. He smacked into the ground, and got up, rather quickly.

Once he did, he was met with Wario's over smash, which sent him flying high into the air, to which he said "Wow... never really been this high... back to the fight, though..." and he sailed back to the ring, flip-slashing Wario as he jumped up to try and juggle him.

Once he landed, he did his over-smash, full force, on Wario, which was a heavy step in slash. Wario went flying, and into SPACESPACeSPAceSPaceSpacespace. Travis then looked up, and saw the timer, and then heard the announcer...

"FIVE! FOUR! THREE..." the voice boomed.

"Who the fuck is that, and what's with the big red numbers in the middle of the air!?" Travis growled...

"...TWO, ONE! TIME!" was the last thing heard on the battlefield.

Apparently this was a two minute brawl (I know, who plays two minute?? Five is the way to go. No Offense...), and gaining four K.O.s, it actually got him 2nd place, behind Samus. Travis sat up against Schpeltiger, his motorcycle, and didn't even clap, like the other two losers behind him. After all the clapping, and K.O. reading was done, he stood up, and moved over to Samus.

"You sound like a chick, are you? I mean, jeez, you would make a rather good assassin." He said it like it was matter-of-fact.

Samus gave him a rather annoyed look, but he couldn't see it through her visor... "Yea, I am, a 'chick' as you say, though you better check yourself, before I beat the crap out of you."

As she began to walk away, he started walking with her, asking "What was all that back there... you guys should've been dead... not that I wanted that, or anything..."

Samus retracted her helmet, and sighed a bit... "That was a brawl... by the sound of it, and how you entered, it sounds like you're just an intruder coming into this. Would Nintendo even let a loud-mouthed peon like you into this?"

He totally ignored that comment, and asked "What do we do when there aren't any brawls...?"

Travis had to admit... she was damn hot. Samus opened the door to the stadium, and swept an arm out the door, saying "Well, whatever you want. I mean, you do know, this is our vacation time, actually. You should try to make some friends. Pffftt, like i'll ever be your friend, though..."

Travis hunched his shoulders and looked around. The outside world, he guessed... or at least where they all would be staying... once Samus started walking off, he took time to admire the flowers, bright and colorful. The trees, tall and healthy... the grass, green and rather bushy. It was great, really... he then took out a paper, and began to look it over. He read down the list, and he saw Samus was pretty high on his list. Number five, actually. He gave another shrug, and folded the paper back up, and stuck it in his pocket again. What was with this secret agenda? Or should I say, the only agenda?

He poiked back to reality, though, and yelled after Samus "Hey, is there a place to stay around here!?"

She turned around from where she was, and gave an annoyed sigh to herself, then called to him "Fine, follow me!"

Travis nodded, and the climbed onto Schpeltiger, and started it up. His motorcycle roared up next to her, and after a fifteen minute drive into town, she had pretty much told him about the plethora of places where he could stay and whatnot. Of course, he wanted to know where everyone else was staying. She reluctantly told him about the mansion that everyone stays in... jeez, she wanted him to pick one of the hotels on the outskirts of town. Now, she directed him to the mansion, now that he knew about it, and whatnot...

As she got off the motorcycle, she said to him, a slight biting tone "This bike is blatant overcompensation, you know..."

"Damn, these some nice digs..." Travis said in wonder, ignoring the comment Samus had said, as he entered the main foyer...

Wario had obviously taken off immediately after the match, 'cause he already walked past Travis in a robe, eating some cake, saying "Yea, I know... ain't it the life, man?"

Travis was about to run off, and enjoy everything the mansion has to offer, but a firm hand grabbed his bright red leather jacket... "Hold on there. Who are you, and why haven't I seen you before?"

Travis turned around, and was met with none other than Snake, to which he said "I'm Travis Touchdown, and maybe you just didn't look hard enough, Mulletman."

He said, in an attempt to hold back his anger "My name is Snake. Get it right, Travis. I look forward to meeting you on the stage."

With that, he shoved Travis in his left shoulder, which made him almost spin around, and trip and fall flat on his face. He growled a little as he watched Snake walk away... wow, 5 seconds, and he already didn't like the guy. He especially didn't like that guy's mullet... EWWWW, MULLET! (Apologies are due to those who still think the mullet is cool, thank you.)

"Travis, I hope you leave soon... i'm going to change out of this suit... don't need it right now..." Samus told him... besides, she was deadlier with it off, really.

Travis raised a brow, and watched her leave, then gave a sigh. Wow, this place seems so great, but there are always haters... he wondered how many more he would meet. He went and began to head up the stairs, as he wondered how long it would take him to find an empty room, and take it over... OH! He just remembered! He ran back down the steps, and headed over to his motorcycle, and pulled two suitcases off of it. He then began dashing back up the stairs with his suitcases, going to the third floor. He strolled down the third floor corridors, and began kicking doors open... the first door, an angry vocalization could be heard...

"Hey, who are you, room service!?" grunted Donkey Kong...

"AHHHH, TALKING APE! ...Or gorilla. AHHHHH!!" Travis yelled, and slammed the door...

He had to think to himself... he did meet a chick in some whacked out armor, a dude dressed like he was in the 80's, a fat midget, and a crazy mullet guy... who could rule a talking ape or gorilla out of it? He let the initial shock of it all set in, and then calmed down... Silvia really should have given him more info on more people. He only knows something about a couple of people. Anyway, he moved on to the door across the hall, and kicked that one open...

"Close the door... come in, if you... want some..." said Luigi, as he was taking some hits of acid, while watching The Beatles Yellow Submarine cartoon.

Travis just raised a brow, and softly closed the door, saying to himself "Wow, and they said I don't belong here..."

With that, he went, and headed further down the hallway, past a few doors, and kicked in another, at random, feeling kind of confident about this door, and whatnot, as he held his breath in hope that wasn't nobody in this room at all...

"Heya, wanna join in this game of Twister?" Captain Falcon asked, as he, Marth, Ganondorf, and Link were all tied up in a man-pretzel.

Travis yelled out "What the fuck!? No!" and slammed the door, and shook his head...

He then went down the hall to yet another door, and uttered a short prayer, hoping to god that nobody was in this door, either... he then kicked it open swiftly, and pause for a second... he then said two words, before anything else was even uttered...

"Oh. Shit." were those two words.

"YOU PERVERTED PIECE OF CRAP!!" and Samus, zero suit now, flew through the air, flying kicking Travis in his jaw, up against the wall...

Travis almost blacked out, but he looked her over... wow, she certainly was a chick. A really really hot chick... anyway... "I just wanna... find a... room..."

She gave a small huff, then said to him coldly "Fine. Let's go."

With that said, she forcefully jerked him to his feet, and they began a little further down the hallway, and opened a door on the other side of the hallway. She jerked her head towards the room, pretty much telling him to get in there. He moved inside and turned on the lights... of course the room was fully furnished, rather nicely, like the other rooms had been. He set his suitcases down, and turned around to Samus, with a look on his face as if to say 'I actually get all this? Wow...' and went to the window.

"Don't go around kicking doors in, least you really want to die..." and she gave a 'hmph', and began down the hall.

Travis went over, and sat on the bed, then laid back, looking at the ceiling, and saying to himself "Hot as lava, yet hard as a diamond... and a demeanor as twice as cold as one in a fridge... I gotta try to get on her good side, yea..."

He took a minute or two to think of what it'd be like to get into them pants... then he shrugged himself off, back into reality, and pulled out that piece of paper. He looked at it, and then skimmed his eyes all the way to the bottom...

"Ok... so the first 12 are the ones that really matter..." as his eyes moved up to the top 12 in red.

He said their names, from first to last... "Mario, Sonic, Snake, Link, Samus, Ike, Marth, Peach, Bowser, Zelda, Ganondorf, Captain Falcon... shit, this is gonna be a bitch... perhaps I should warm up, first..."

He gave a slight yawn, then started to wonder what kinda fun activities the mansion might have to offer... so he got up, and went down the hall, to the door he knew all too well. He then thought about it for a minute, and whatnot... he really had to ponder it, and he went to knock on her door, but she opened it up, rather quickly, not caring who was there. The door busted his nose though, as he stepped back holding it, looking at an angry Samus...

"Why don't you bother anyone else? What do you want this time? You better say it on the go, by the way." she told him this bluntly, as she started walking down the hallway.

"Well, uhhh... I was ummm... wondering what kind of fun activities there were... around..." he followed her, his eyes plastered to her switching rump...

She stopped at that one door... that ONE door that Travis really didn't feel like going in again... "You first, Touchdown. Open it, and quit staring at my ass, will you?"

He jumped a little, at how coldly she said it, and nodded, opening the door... from within, Captain Falcon called out "Heya, new guy, you came back to play!"

Travis shuddered at that, but Samus stepped forcefully in front of him, and said "Hey guys, wanna go and hit the bar?"

They all looked at each other, and shrugged, then all got up, heading out of the room, and now all these people started down the hall and down the steps. They were pretty much gonna hit the town, as Samus started talking to some guy in one of those cheap suits, and he threw her a set of keys. She walked over to a pimped out SUV, and clicked the button for the alarm to turn off, then climbed in it, as she had called over to the rest of the crew.

"Is everyone riding with me, or are you gonna go on your motorcycle, Touchdown?" she asked in such a threatening way...

"I'll take my Schpeltiger..." and he gave a sigh and jumped on his bike, starting it up, the engine roaring loud and powerful, and whatnot.

This should be interesting. He wanted to warm up on some characters who weren't near the top of the list first, to measure the skill that the top listers might actually have. He had Captain Falcon and Ganondorf coming with him tonight, so he might actually have to go for offing them. He'd be that much closer to getting Silvia's snatch... though thinking about it, Samus was quite a degree hotter. Though he couldn't stop, he had to uphold his standing, as number one assassin in the UAA... welp, here's to the start of one crazy night!

End of Chapter One

Author Notes: I think this first chapter isn't all that bad. I hope I also get some reviews out of this, and whatnot. Anyway, I can't wait to type up chapter two! Chapter two, the inevitable fight with Captain Falcon and Ganondorf!