Silent Tear

"Haruhi, where are you going?"

Fujioka Haruhi halted her steps upon hearing the familiar cheerful voice. Without turning back, she titled her head slightly to the left and stated gently.

"I'm going to the wash room, Tamaki-senpai."

Without waiting for a response, Fujioka Haruhi turned left toward the hall way and disappeared into the noisy crowd.

In the middle of the huge ballroom, Suoh Tamaki remained staring at her disappearing form.

"Ne, Tono. Haruhi is going to the washroom. She knows her way for goodness sake."

"Hikaru, maybe Tono is worried that our cute Haruhi might get abducted along her way to the washroom."

"Ne, Tama-chan! Don't worry! Bun-Bun told me Haru-chan will be back very very soon, ne Takashi...Takashi?"

Despite his cousin's attempt in grabbing his attention, Morinozuka Takashi was staring at the hall entrance with a light frown on his face. A couple of seconds before, above the noisy chattering of the guests and the soft classical music that was playing in the background, he had heard it.

Mori had heard the soft mutter of Tamaki.

"The bathroom is on the right side. She turned left."

Staring at the empty garden, Haruhi took in a deep breath.

Using the washroom was just a convenient excuse she had picked up during her days of hosting. She would suffocate if she lingered in the hall any moment longer. Suffocated to death by the cheerfulness and happiness that filled the air.

Unconsciously, Haruhi lifted her hand to touch the exclusive pendent that hung low around her delicate neck.

Many people had thought Fujioka Haruhi was naïve; that she was a nerdy who was forever clueless. But they were wrong. She was not as clueless as they had thought she would be.

For the least, she was definitely not dense toward the 'paternal love' of Tamaki and the affection the twins had towards her.

Yet, she had managed to treat everyone of them with equality. Toward those whom she had grown to care and those whom she knew had cared deeply for her in return.

The same amount of attention. The same amount of affection. The same amount of appreciation. She did a fair job in balancing all these among them except for one.

Ever since the first day she met him, he had always given her a sense of superiority and insecurity. No matter how deep she had shared a bond with the other host members; she knew it will always be different between him and her. There would always be a huge distance between them. A deep and wide valley that she would never be able to cross or step foot on the other side.

Despite the true caring the other group members had displayed toward her, she knew she means nothing to him. She would never be viewed equally by him.

She was a girl who could sometimes be quite ignorant and careless toward her environment or happenings. Yet she had forgotten since when she had started to act extra careful around him, with the intention to avoid offending him in any way. She had wanted to gain his acknowledgement.

Soon, among all the host members he had became the one who had stood out from the crowd because of the insecurity he had bestowed upon her.

His indifferent manner caused every small little action of his became significant and precious.

A small brush of fingers, a small business-like pat on the head had become so important to her.

Soon, he was the only person that was constantly on her mind. And at that very moment, Fujioka Haruhi knew, he was no longer the same as the other host members. She knew he meant something greater and deeper to her. Something she could not bear to admit. So she had chosen to hide it.

She had forgotten when their relationship had begun to change. Maybe it was when her father passed away in a car accident or it was when his sister migrated to England. She was no longer sure. But the moment he had snuck up behind her, placing the beautifully crafted necklace around her neck and whispered a silent promise in her ear, Haruhi knew she had finally step foot on the other side of the valley.

"Haruhi! There you are! We've been looking for you everywhere!"

Haruhi turned around and found herself staring into the worried faces of the host club members.

Staring at their anxious faces, she knew she would be bombarded by questions that she would not have the strength to handle anytime soon. Instead of explaining herself, Haruhi had turned her attention toward the one person that she had not expected to see in this open garden.

"Kyoya-senpai, shouldn't you be busy inside?"

The said man peered at her through his glass lenses.

"They said they could not find you."

At that very moment, a middle aged woman dressed in a traditional kimono appeared from the east corridor.

"Kyoya-sama. The ceremony is starting any time soon."

Nodding in dismissal, Kyoya turned toward the host members and urged everyone back to the hall.

Half way back toward the ballroom, Tamaki halted when he realized Haruhi had not moved a step from the garden.

"Haruhi what's the matter? Are you ill?"

Everyone had stopped walking and was staring at her with concern.

"I just need some fresh air. Don't worry. I will be back in a minute. Now get going."

Smiling softly, Haruhi waved reassuringly toward the group as a depressed Tamaki was dragged away by the twins and disappeared into the far end of the corridor.

"Haruhi."

Haruhi smiled bitterly.

"Kyoya."

Both of them stood in the garden under the early spring air without a word.

Yet so much emotion had passed through them.

"Haruhi…There was so much I have wanted for us."

This time, bitterness had slipped into the usual cold and lifeless voice.

A hollow smile edged on her lips when she turned around to face him.

"You should be going in. The ceremony cannot start without the groom Kyoya…senpai."

Kyoya remained standing impassively at the garden entrance with his gaze fixed on her face.

Haruhi smiled bitterly.

What more could she do now?

What more could they do?

Nothing.

They were too proud. Too stubborn for their own good. Too rational.

In the end, everything was reduced back to where they previously used to be.

"Kyoya…"

Meeting his deep dark eyes, Haruhi smiled gently.

Kyoya's eyes widened a little when he captured her long lost genuine smile.

Tearing her gaze away from him, Haruhi turned around to stare at the blooming flowers.

"Goodbye, Kyoya."

After a long moment of silence, Kyoya tore away his gaze and walked into the hall without looking back...once.

Goodbye Haruhi.

Haruhi stood alone in the garden.

A silent tear slipped out from her eye.

Yesterday

I cried a silent tear for fear of losing you

Today

I cried a silent tear because you left my heart behind

Tomorrow

I'll cry a silent tear because...

I'll be getting over you

- Ashley Matics

Owari

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