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Something Lost in the Translation
A Quick Lunch-break Fiction
*****
"...so once we realized that, we also realized that we were dealing with a language problem and not just one of cultures."
"And so, that's when the Pao Institute stepped in?"
"Yes. We meticulously examined every communication and transmission we could find, and were able to categorically determine that they were trying to communicate their intentions not in our language but in theirs. Unfortunately, what they did not realize is that their language carries words and tonal structures similar to ours, but unfortunately carry entirely different connotations than that which they intended."
"Interesting..."
"And so, the whole history of our relations with them have been nothing more than a series of regrettable and tragic misunderstandings. They keep trying to tell us that they mean us no harm, but until now all we've heard are what we thought were belligerent statements and challenges in our own language, and have acted appropriately..."
The holo-vid reporter stopped for a moment to listen to something coming over his earpiece. "I'm sorry, Prof. Bolton," he said finally, "but I've just been told that the Ambassador has entered the chambers and is making his way to the podium to address the assembly."
The camera switched to the main floor of the UN General Assembly, as delegates and dignitaries alike gave the alien ambassador and his entourage a warm welcome.
The holo-vid reporter whispered into his microphone. "Ladies and gentleman, this is truly an historic occasion. The Ambassador, in its gold-colored encounter suit and escorted by aides and members of its security service, is now approaching the central stage in preparation to address the United Nations. This will be the first ever peaceful address by this ancient and extraordinary race to the people of Earth, and everyone is eagerly anticipating what the Ambassador will say... and you are watching it here live on HVNN."
The Ambassador looked across at the gathered representatives of humanity. It seemed to hesitate a moment, then slid forward to the podium and the microphone. A human man stepped forward as well, and stood next to the Ambassador. He stood in an almost parade-rest stance, his hands folded solemnly before him.
The Ambassador turned to the microphone. The chamber became hushed as everyone prepared to listen to what it was about to say.
"EX-TER-MIN-ATE!" the Ambassador said, its voice rising as it continued, "EARTH!! O-BLIT-ER-ATE!! AN-NIH-IL-ATE!! DE-STROY!! DE-STROY!! DE-STROY!!"
The human beside the Ambassador leaned into the microphone before him. "The Dalek Ambassador sends his greetings to the people of Earth, and says that he is very pleased to be here." he translated.
*****
This story was indirectly inspired by "Memorandum of the Daleks",
by Outsider
--DBK
24 February 1999