Hi everyone! So, I'm supposed to be working on my Storm and Sparrow series, but this little plot bunny kept jumping in my way, and I couldn't resist. I don't know where I'm going with it, I'm just having fun! Please enjoy! Reviews (or any support) are much appreciated… let me know if you want me to continue!

I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, only the plot and any original characters.

Lady Bordeaux

Captain Jack Sparrow sauntered through the crowd, scanning for authorities. He couldn't afford to be spotted, not now. If he were, it wouldn't be good. He would be imprisoned. Or shot. Or hung. Or all three. So, being spotted would not be beneficiary to him. He needed to get to the docks, smuggle aboard a ship, and find a way to Tortuga… Somehow. He reached the docks, looking for a departing ship. There was a ship that had just arrived from England, but it wasn't leaving anytime soon. No, Jack needed to find a fisherman's sloop, or a merchant's ship…

"Help!" cried a voice. Jack jumped, startled. He looked around, confused. "The lady's fallen in the water! She can't swim!" From the ship that had just arrived was a man, crying for help. Jack frowned and looked at the water, where an oval of upset ripples and bubbles signified that something had just dropped beneath the surface. Jack swore heavily under his breath, realizing that no one was going in after the drowning victim. He dashed forward, and in one graceful movement, dove in. Why. Why, why, why, why, why, why am I bloody doing this?! Fuuuuuuuuuuck. He was struck by a strong sense of déjà vu as he swam toward the sinking woman. Oh, right. I've done this before. Miss Swann. Or Turner. Whatever she is. Jack swam, pulling himself deeper under the surface. He reached the bottom, prying the unconscious woman off the ocean floor. He kicked the ground, propelling himself upward. He gasped for breath once he emerged. He dragged the woman ashore and laid her on the sand. She didn't move. Jack sighed. You are not going to die. I won't let myself get my ass hung just so that you could die! He placed his hands on the woman's abdomen and pressed the heels of his palms against her. Water spurted from the woman's mouth, and she coughed back to existence. She opened her eyes. They were a soft brown. Jack frowned at her. The woman stared back. The man from earlier rushed to the woman's side. "Lady Bordeaux! Are you all right?" he demanded, helping the woman sit up.

"Y-yes, I'm fine," stammered the woman. The man draped his coat over Lady Bordeaux's shoulders. He looked at Jack.

"You sir, what's your name?" he snapped.

Jack frowned. "Erm…"

"Cat got your tongue?" barked the man.

"No sir," Jack said. "The name's John. John… Turner." Sorry, Will, if this comes back to bite you in the ass… Except you're an undead captain now.

"Mr. Turner, is it? What is it you do?" asked the man. Why the hell do you care, prat?

"Marcus," said the woman suddenly. She had a soft voice, gentle like her eyes. "Do you really intend to bombard my rescuer with an interrogation?"

The man, Marcus, backed away from Jack, but his blue eyes were still sparkling with distrust. "Of course not," he said. "My apologies, Mr. Turner. You have my thanks, Mr. Turner."

Jack nodded. "No worries, mate."

Marcus scowled at Jack. "Mr. Turner, you're not a pirate, are you?"

"Marcus!" scolded Lady Bordeaux.

Jack merely laughed. "If I were, would I tell you?"

Marcus shrugged. "Touché, Mr. Turner. Have a lovely day." He turned to leave, trying to bring Lady Bordeaux with him. But the lady wasn't having any of it.

"Mr. Turner, would you like to join us for dinner?" she asked.

Jack shifted. No, I would not like to join the two of you for dinner. "Lady Bordeaux, I am not entirely certain that's proper…" scolded Marcus.

In that case… "I would be honored to join you for dinner." Jack beamed.

Lady Bordeaux returned Jack's smile with one of her own. "Marcus will give you the details, won't you, Marcus?"

Jack wanted to laugh. He restrained himself. Marcus looked utterly dumbfounded. "I would be much obliged." he snarled. Lady Bordeaux dipped her head to Jack.

"Until later, Mr. Turner." she said. She walked away, toward some servants, ready to aid the woman. Jack watched her go, smirking to himself.

"I know what you are, Mr. Turner." said Marcus.

Jack looked at him, feigning innocence. "And what would that be?"

"I can spot a pirate from any distance." sneered Marcus.

Jack's eyes grew cold. "Then why don't you turn me in?" he challenged.

Marcus scowled. He shifted. "I… I can't prove it."

Jack laughed. "Then stay away from me, and we'll get along swimmingly, savvy?" Marcus looked befuddled. He blinked, quite spastically, and turned away. Jack sighed. "Oi," he called. Marcus stopped, eyebrows raised. "You haven't told me the details about tonight."

Marcus frowned. "Go to the mansion on the hilltop at dusk,"

Jack nodded. "Thanks, mate."

"And Turner?" Marcus called.

Jack faced Marcus once more. "Aye?"

"Try and… clean up." Marcus said, eyeing Jack with one last look of disgust.

Jack glowered as Marcus walked away. "Right."

…

Jack looked at himself in the mirror. He looked quite dashing, if he said so himself. Well, more dashing than usual. He strode out of the inn and through town. He hiked uphill, to the governor's mansion on the hilltop. He walked right past the guards and up to the front door. Marcus approached Jack. "Have you ever heard of a haircut? Or a brush?" Marcus snapped.

Jack shrugged. "Nah, mate. Never been the educated type." he said, sarcasm dripping from his tone. Marcus led Jack inside. They walked into a large dining room, where a crowd of people sat at a long table. They all fell quiet when Jack walked in. Jack definitely felt out of place, standing amongst sophisticated people. Lady Bordeaux sat near the head of the table. She beamed at Jack.

"Come sit over here, Mr. Turner." she called, waving him over. Jack swaggered over to her, ignoring the stares he was receiving. He sat next to Lady Bordeaux.

"Good to see you awake and dry, m'lady." Jack greeted her.

Lady Bordeaux grinned sheepishly. "Well, I enjoy grand entrances."

Jack eyed her. "Is this your first time in Port Royal?"

"Yes, actually. Is it yours?" Lady Bordeaux asked.

Jack reached for a glass of wine and took a large gulp. Lady Bordeaux raised her eyebrows. "No, it's not my first. Hopefully it'll be my last."

Lady Bordeaux frowned. "Why is that?"

Jack looked at her steadily. "Lot of bad memories here."

Lady Bordeaux averted his gaze. "When do you leave?"

"I was going to leave today, but I had to rescue some damsel drowning in the bay." Jack said, smirking at Lady Bordeaux.

She smirked back. "What a fool she must have been."

Marcus tapped a glass with his fork. He raised his glass. "To Mr. Bordeaux, the new governor of Port Royal!"

The gathering toasted to Mr. Bordeaux. Jack frowned, confused. "Who?"

"My uncle," said Lady Bordeaux, gesturing to the man sitting at the head of the table closest to them. "He's the reason I'm here."

"Ah," Jack said. He didn't talk to Lady Bordeaux once the food arrived. He ate like a beast that had been suffering from a starving belly. He hadn't had a meal this good since… He couldn't even remember.

Lady Bordeaux smiled at him in amusement. "Hungry?"

"Starved," Jack replied.

"Do you not get to eat very much, Mr. Turner?" asked Lady Bordeaux.

She actually sounds concerned. Weird. "Please, call me Ja- uh, John." said Jack. He cursed himself for his near-fatal slip up.

Lady Bordeaux didn't seem to catch it. "John," she repeated, smiling. "You failed to answer me."

Jack grinned. "You don't miss a thing, do you?" he asked. Lady Bordeaux merely prompted him by batting her eyelashes. Jack chuckled. "No, I don't eat very much. I'm not entitled to such… lavish entrees, I'm afraid."

"Oh," said Lady Bordeaux, looking sorry. "I am sorry to hear that."

Jack wiggled his eyebrows at her. "What about you? All I know is that you're Lady Bordeaux. I don't even know your first name."

"Oh," said Lady Bordeaux, giggling. "It's Kenna."

"Kenna," Jack repeated. That wasn't what he had expected. "I like it."

Kenna smiled. "Thank you, John."

Jack enjoyed Kenna. She was well-read, so she wasn't too boring. She was very proper, and didn't seem to joke much. But she was kind and intelligent, so Jack didn't have to dumb things down for her. Best of all, she didn't treat Jack like a street rat. Too soon, dinner was over, and it was time for Jack to take his leave. Jack stood at the front door, facing Kenna with a look of farewell. "Well, this is where I leave you." Jack said.

Kenna looked disappointed. "Take care of yourself, John."

Jack bowed to her. "Try not to go swimming anytime soon. I won't be around to save you." he said, winking.

Kenna sighed. "Perhaps… You could be," she said.

Jack perked up. "Eh?"

Kenna smiled shyly. "Perhaps you could stay for a few more days, if you don't have anywhere important to go."

I shouldn't stay. That would be a bad, very terrible idea. No, I should get the hell out of here… "Well… If you insist." Jack said, grinning.

Kenna looked positively radiant. "Splendid! I'll have Estella show you to a room, shall I?"

Jack agreed and allowed himself to be led away to a room. He laid on the massive bed, grinning at the ceiling. Suddenly, Port Royal didn't seem so terrible.