All I knew was a life of crime, I had been a member of the Red Shy Guy Gang since age 13. My parents were squished by some giant plumber guy, so I had no shot at a decent education. Today, I get into street wars with Bob-ombs and Birdos and goombas, and I have to fight to survive. Mouser was my coach. This was the only life I ever knew. They called me Sparkles.
To be continued....