A/N: So this is what happens when I listen to too much Coldplay. I'm not sure about whether or not I intend for this to finish here or continue on so that you understand what's going on a little better. I've been craving some serious Quinntana lately and something about going outside to smoke a cig combined with all the Coldplay brought this out of me. So thank and band and Marlboro I guess if you dig this story.
"Hey." Quinn chewed into her lip as she threw the butt from her last cigarette away from her to be lost beneath bleachers the same way Rachel would say she currently was. Darker eyes seemed to open her up to be examined, flicking over her features and settling on her own exhausted and dulled greens where they captured her attention.
"Can we not do this? I already told you I don't want to go back to the squad. I can't. So just...please...leave it the fuck alone." Santana takes a step closer in that predatory way in which she stalks, seeming to penetrate and fill Quinn's personal bubble even given the fact that she's still more than a meter away.
"You look exhausted." It's all she says, but the former blonde can see her very valid point. She knows no amount of excessive makeup can hide the bags under her eyes. No coffee can alleviate the physical craving to just lay down and stay down she often finds herself having. Her shoulder's slump and she wants to just collapse onto something confortable and forget about everything for the few precious hours she's used to sleeping at night.
"I am. I'm so tired." Quinn really doesn't know what her former friend wants. She doesn't know why she came looking for her, why she isn't demanding answers, behaving brusquely, and dragging her along behind her to do whatever it is she came for. But it doesn't matter. The latina steps closer still, extending her hand outward, palm up and open. She's always found comfort in those smaller, only barely softer hands. As much as she could from her position on the sidelines. She steps forward, burying her sudden, emotionly driven desire to hug the shorter girl. Instead, she places her hand in hers and sighs when Santana locks their fingers together and gently pulls her to her car. She gets in, reconnecting their hands when a tan one is extended towards her after they've left the parking lot.
"You can come sleep at my place. How's the insomnia? How many hours a night you getting?" Quinn doesn't hear her, so busy being distracted by the feeling of Santana's finger's between hers and the passing of such familiar scenery outside her window. It's been so long since she's been to the other woman's house.
"Hey Q, come back to me." The blonde shakes her head to clear it then looks over to lock her still light green eyes to obsidian depths.
"How many hours Quinn?"
"Three...sometimes."
"You could have just come to me. You know I've always got room in my bed for you, Quinn."
"You don't."
"Yea, actually, I do." It's only a few moments before both girls are in the familiar room, dropping their bags on the floor. Santana walks over to her dresser and opens the dancing ballerina music box Brittany gave her for her eleventh birthday, fiddling around a little before she comes out with a pill bottle filled with a few good sized nuggets of what is obviously marijuana.
"Should help you sleep pretty damn good. Always puts me right out when I need it to." A small but elegent clear glass bong materializes from her closet and she's set at her desk, preparing the bowl Quinn hopes can really do what she says.
"Do you dream on it?" She asks as she falls against the most comfortable bed she's ever known, almost asking herself how she stayed away so long.
"Yea. They're great. Will make you a little paranoid but you'll be asleep before you notice it. Got different shit for you if you need something for the everyday to smoke in the mornings. You'll be good, trust me with it." She comes over and sets down on the bed, lighter ready in her hand. Quinn takes the glass, going through the motions to get the smoke in her system in that automatic way she'd taken to over the summer, laying back and exhaling into the air above them.
"Tastes good." She whispers more to her self.
"Yea. 'know..." Santana croaks out before releasing her own smoke.
Santana looks over after they go through a few more tokes together, gauging what her chances are to get a yes if she asks the question on her mind.
"You could stay here you know. Like, permanently or whatever." They're curled up together under the black comforter in the dark, hearts thumping against both their ribcages. Quinn only shakes her head with her hand in her pink lockes.
"I can't leave her there again. If I keep doing all of this he'll fuck up, he'll cheat, or leave, or try to kick me out again. He can't stand looking at me with the way I look, the girl's I've been hanging out with, I little while longer and he'll do exactly what I know he already wants to and she'll do what's right. I know it. I just have to... "
"Keep killing yourself? Stop it Quinn. if you want something to do to make him trigger this trap you've built around the both of you I got a much better idea." The latina shifted the leg that the fushia-haired girl had wrapped both of her's around, pressing it up against the warm apex of her thighs. The taller girl hadn't expected the drug to turn her on so much. Every little movement even before Santana had gotten so daring had left fire coursing in her viens and in her belly. A moan trips from her lips before she can even think beyond the pressure her...friend...is reapplying against her, causing her to roll her hips downwards into a muscular thigh. Her own hand wraps around her black tshirt covered nipple seconds later, twisting just forcefully enough to serve her the right amount of pain with her pleasure.
"That's not...not a well thought out alternative plan. Fuck...did you know it would do this to me? My god, why does that feel so good?" Santana's on top of her then, with her full lush lips pressing against her pale throat.
"I did. I think it's a better plan. I told you, Quinn. You can trust me, babe. You can. Yes or no?" Dark, deep, eyes shine with the reflection of the streetlight from outside, piercing through her. She nods, then leans up a bit, connecting their lips of her own volition.
The latina sits up when they disconnect, taking only a minute to sit up and pull off her cheerios top and bottoms and fall back against Quinn, smooth tan skin sliding against her own where her tshirt has risen. She wants it off, so she does so in the next moment, shedding her long skirt next.
Nothing has ever felt as amazing as having Santana's skin against her own like this and it somehow makes her feel so good when she can feel warm wetness against the thigh she presses up between her friend's. The darker girl kisses her then pushes down the cup of her bra to gain acces to a nipple she sucks between her perfect lips, humming when Quinn bows up and cries out for her. Her hands find their way around and down to slip under the waistline of red panties to squeeze the ass she's always wanted to touch, grinning at the smile she can feel against her other nipple when Santana switches.
"Kiss me?" She asks when Santana sheds her own bra and then helps with hers, running a soft thumb over her nipple while she stares down at her bare chest. The latina does kiss her... gently, just a press of their lips together a few times. The shorter girl sits up, staring down into her eyes with something in her darker ones that Quinn can barely recognize.
"You're beautiful." They've seen each other before due to the obvious reason of sharing a locker room but neither ever took the time to really look the way the can so freely now. The streetlight below provides the oppurtunity and Quinn's breath is taken away as she stares up at this woman who she herself has always considered the most beautiful she's ever seen.
"I think you're beautiful too. I can't believe I get to touch you. I've always...but I never thought I'd be able to be with you like this. You've always been so out of my reach, San." Quinn raises her hips just enough to slip her panties off, watching as the latina stands up to do the same.
"I'm sorry if it felt that way. You know how we had to be. I never meant for you to think that, just everyone else." When the shorter girl climbs back into the bed she lays directly on top of her paler friend, sighing at the way it feels to no longer have any barriers between them. Her hand travels downward, towards half of the source of the scent that surrounds them. Quinn moans when slim, tan, fingers slide through the small patch of damp blonde curls and rub over her on their way to circle her entrence.
"I'm sorry I worried you enough that you feel you have to do this..." A thumb rubs out letter's she can't begin to understand against her clit, already raising her up higher than she's ever been. Brow furrowed tight as she stares into dark eyes that haven't seperated from hers since they shed their last layers, Quinn feels so emotionally whole when two fingers glide into her and curl as they slide out again.
"Don't be, Q. I've wanted this so much. Thank you." Santana settles further between milky thighs, spreading them gently with her knees to push her fingers deeper, searching.
"Fuck. Santana it feels so... fucking good." Her eyes close, clenched tight as her teeth bury into her bottom lip and she rolls her hips down onto the perfectly fitting fingers that were pressing against something inside of her.
"I know, Quinn. I'm gonna make you come. I want you to look at me, okay? Let me see those beautiful eyes." She struggled against instinct, managing to peel her eyes open and lock with Santana's obsidian. The pink-haired girl could feel the beginnings of tears falling from her eyes, forcing her to blink a few times before she could catch the shining darkness of her friends again. This...whatever it was they were doing it felt too good to be as real as it was and the pessimissim that'd been bread into her reminded that it was a one time mistake on Santana's part. One the beautiful woman would regret and seek to forget while Quinn would hold onto it like she'd failed to hold onto the only other thing that had ever made her this happy.
"S-San...I'm-" The former blonde bowed up in the bed almost violently, absentmindedly recognizing the fact that Santana caught her and lay her back down gently without even seperating their eyes.
"Let go for me, Quinn. An' don't cry. It's okay. It's okay, baby." It takes few moments of nothing but their heavy breathing and the scent of them together filling the room before either speaks again. The former blonde pulling away the few inches it takes to give her hands the room to wipe the still falling tears away.
"I'm sorry." Is all she can think to say.
"Why are you crying, Quinn?" The latina is still just as close, taking over tear wiping duty herself.
"Everything is so complicated and this was perfect. Too perfect for me and I know that whatever it was it's over and It's tearing at me. I feel pathetic for crying about it like some...weakling. I know i can't always get what I want or need." Santana kisses her slightly red eyelids softly when she closes them, sliding their fingers between each other's again.
"And you want this? You want me?" She asks, kissing bow shaped lips so softly Quinn feels like a princess for a few seconds.
"I've always wanted you." The latina looks thoughtful for a second as she lays her head down on the former blonde's pillow, keeping their eyes, fingers, and legs connected.
"Just like this or like...more? What do you want with me?"
"I want...to kiss you, and hold you, and read you all the poems and notes I've never had the guts to give you, watch stupid tv with you and hold your hand and have a future next to you, give you whatever it is you want. I want too much. I want-"
"I love you." She said, her eyes warm and tender but determined as they locked onto Quinn's which had slowly shifted into a glowing gold.
"You don't. Bri-" She looked away towards the wall, shaking her head.
"Shut up, I do! Look at me, baby. I love you." Quinn leans across the pillow, connected their lips and running her hand over the soft skin of the inner thigh her hand had wondered down to. She lifted her hand even further, groaning when the top of her hand met the warm, wet, sensitive, skin of Santana's sex.
"You feel so good, San. God, I just want to eat you up, I can barely control myself."
"Tomorrow, maybe. You're supposed to be asleep already or I'll keep you home to catch up on all the hours you've been missing." The shorter girl whispered, shifting at the uncomfortable need she'd been holding off.
"Do you not want me to...are you not-"
"Stop, babe." Santana grabbed the paler hand and lifted it to press Quinn's finger's against her opening, covering them in the abundant wetness she'd been trying to ignore.
"Feel? But let it go for now, I can ignore it. We'll get some seriously nessecary rest and do something about it later, love."
"K. If you're sure."
"I am." Quinn kissed her softly and extracted her hand as carefully as she could, rubbing against any of the right things would have them up for even longer. She let Santana cuddle into her side, still so comforted by their skin on skin contact.
"I love you too, San. I know I didn't say before. I was processing." Were they friends again? Something more? She'd worry about it later.
"Hey, I know how much you used to love to raid my fridge in the mornings but can you stay in bed until I wake up? If I wake up and you're not here I'll probably freak out and think it was all some perfect bud conjured dream." Quinn just nods and places a random, tender, kiss against Santana's forehead.
"I promise I'll be here if you do."
"I promise too, baby. G'night." Her eyes closed and seconds later she was asleep, Quinn following not long after her, finally letting everything else fall away.