AN: This one-shot story takes place directly after the end of the Batman: Heart of Hush storyline.
Rated Teen for brief, strong language.
Impossible Love
"I will love you. Always".
The words repeated themselves over and over again in Selina's mind.
As she lay in a hospital bed after surgery, Bruce had quietly slipped into her room and tragically revealed his true feelings for her. However, he had not realized that Selina was awake the whole time and she heard every word. Of course, she told Bruce that she heard everything and they spent a touching night together in the hospital.
"I will love you. Always".
Selina continued to think about Bruce's words.
"Miss Kyle…is everything alright"?
Selina snapped back to reality and made eye contact with the orderly standing in front of her. Judging by the frustrated look the orderly displayed, Selina figured he had been waiting a while.
"I'm sorry, my mind was elsewhere", Selina responded, "what do you want"?
"I've been trying to tell you that your ride is here and I will wheel you down to reception".
Selina saw that the orderly had a wheelchair with him and reality came flooding back. She was getting out of the hospital today and she could barely wait. Slowly, she got off her bed and sat down in the wheelchair. The orderly grabbed her bag and began pushing her down the hallway.
As she made her way towards the main entrance, Selina thought about the immediate future. After Hush had broken into her apartment, she knew that she would have to find somewhere else to live. For the time being, Bruce had been kind enough to book her into the Gotham Tower hotel for an indefinite period of time. At least that was one less thing to worry about.
Reaching the lobby, Selina met with hospital reception and signed all the necessary release paperwork. Gingerly getting out the wheelchair, she headed towards the main doors.
"May I help you to your car miss"?
Instantly recognizing the voice, Selina turned around to greet it.
"Bruce!", she said happily, "did you come to gloat at how slow I am now"?
"Of course not", Bruce replied.
He moved in close and wrapped his arms around her. Selina matched his motions and engaged in the embrace. The hug was exactly what she needed.
"Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing here?", she asked.
"I wanted to take you to your hotel", Bruce explained, "Alfred is waiting outside".
Selina had become quite fond of Alfred over the recent years and looked forward to seeing him again. She could rely on him to tell it straight when Bruce would try to hide his own feelings.
Wrapping her arm around Bruce's, they walked outside to the loading area where Alfred was waiting with the car door open to rear seats.
"Hello Alfred", Selina said with a smile.
"Good afternoon Miss Kyle", he responded with his polished tone, "I hope you are feeling better, your ordeal had all of us worried".
"I think so Alfred, thank you", she answered while slipping into the soft leather seats.
The door was closed behind her and after Bruce got in the other side, the car pulled away from the hospital. After a short drive, they arrived at the hotel.
"Selina, do you mind if I walk you to your room"?
"Um, sure", she answered quizzically, "I kind of assumed that you already would".
Bruce smiled and got out of the car and walked around to her side and helped her out. Locking arms again, they walked slowly together through the hotel lobby and straight to the elevators.
Reaching the top floor, they continued to the presidential suite.
Of course Bruce…you would have to get me the best room in the hotel.
Putting the key card into the lock, Selina opened the door. Before them lay the massive suite with huge windows that over looked Gotham. She couldn't help but notice the large balcony and how suitable it would have been for Catwoman to use at night.
"Thanks for your help Bruce", Selina started, "I really appreciate what you're doing. Now that we're here, we can talk".
"Uh, what do you mean?", he responded unconvincingly.
"C'mon Bruce, I know you way better than that", she replied matter-of-factly. "I can tell when you want say something, but are too nervous or stubborn to do so".
Selina walked over to one of the sofas and sat down. Patting the spot beside her with her hand, she beckoned him to sit beside her. Bruce obliged and joined her on the sofa. She took one his hands in her own and looked up at him.
"I know you came here to talk", she began, "and I assume it is going to be about us and what was said the other night in the hospital".
Bruce always found Selina's directness difficult. He hated to admit it, but she understood him well, maybe better than anyone else. And she was right, he was here to talk.
"Look, first I wanted to say how sorry I am for what happened to you and it was all my fault".
Bruce thought back to the fateful night when Selina appeared in the hospital for the first time. Rushing in to see her with her heart physically removed and replaced by wires and tubes…it was a sight he would never forget. Hush had done this to her in order to hurt Bruce and destroy his life. And he had come so close to achieving this.
Selina could see the anguish appearing on Bruce's face. She wasn't going to let him do this to himself.
"I told you before, I'm not some kid you took in and trained", she said sternly, "I'm my own person and my choices are always my own. I'm responsible for myself, no one else is".
"Selina, I…".
"No Bruce, I made my choices because I wanted to", she continued. "I knew that my feelings for you would put me in danger, but I was willing to take that risk. That's what people who care about each other do".
Reflecting on her words, Bruce knew she was right which brought an inadvertent smile to his face.
"What's so funny?", Selina asked.
"I was just thinking about how you would always say I made sense when it came to logic. I guess when it comes to emotions, you're the one who makes sense".
"Yes, Bruce, I certainly am", she said with a smile.
Selina moved close to Bruce and ducked under his arm so she could rest against him. Whenever they came into physical contact together, they both felt a sense of blissful calm. For Selina, it was always too fleeting…she knew that it was merely a matter of time before it ended.
"I have to ask", Selina spoke barely above a whisper, "why do you always push me away"?
Stunned, Bruce did not know what to say. He knew how much he cared for her, he knew he loved her. Yet he continually stonewalled their relationship…and now she was calling him out on it.
"I don't know…being Batman makes my life…"
"No! Being Batman has nothing to do with this", she commanded. "You trusted me with your dual identity and I accepted you…both of you. You brought me into your double life because you know that I understand and I can relate. I'm sorry Bruce, but you can't use Batman as an excuse".
Bruce got up from the sofa and began to pace. He was not angry at Selina, but more at himself.
"You're right…I don't make any sense…I just can't explain it".
"Bruce, just tell me what you're thinking", Selina pleaded, "no filters, no sugar coating. Just tell me straight…I deserve that".
Sharing his true feelings was something that Bruce simply did not do. But Selina was forcing him to come out of his shell. He had to talk to her, he owed her that much.
"Alright Selina", he agreed, "I'll try and say something somewhat coherent".
She reached out to him and grabbed his hand, beckoning him to sit back on the sofa. Bruce resumed his position beside her and started to talk.
"I feel like I've let you down, that I should've been bigger part of your life. Whenever we're together, all I can focus on are the aspects of your life where I failed you".
"When you killed Black Mask…I should've been there…to try and stop you".
Selina had to bite her tongue hearing this.
"Bruce, you said that what happened with Black Mask was justice…it was justice. Why would you say that if you're going to hold that against me? Do you know what he did to me? My family"?
"No, that's not what I'm trying to say", he said, "you did what you had to do. I remember when you tried to stop me from killing the Joker…you told me I would never live myself. And you were right. I should've been there to do the same for you. Or I could've done more to stop Black Mask before he got to your family…something".
"I told you, you can't always protect me Bruce", Selina said measuredly. "I know that's what you do, but I'm my own person. You have to trust me to look after myself. Sometimes, I make mistakes…or do something you wouldn't do…but it's my choice and you have to accept that".
"I know Selina, I know", Bruce answered wistfully, "I've become overly protective of you because I'm so afraid of losing you".
Selina put her hands to Bruce's face and kissed him softly on the lips.
"I worry about losing you too", she exclaimed, "Damn it, everyday I worry that it's your last. I never know if some psychopath will kill you or some weird alien enemy you fight with the Justice League takes you away. I feel exactly the same".
Bruce sat silently, allowing her words to sink in. As much as he worried about her, he never really considered how she felt about the risks to his own life and how difficult that could be to endure.
"Let me put this to you logically Bruce", Selina continued. "If you are worried about losing me, why push me away? Wouldn't it make more sense to get closer? We could look after each other, together. This must have crossed your mind at some point"?
"I would be lying if I said I haven't", he replied.
"So…"?
Bruce exhaled noticeably, thinking about how to make his next point. Selina took his hand again and held it tightly.
"Look, I realize we're emotionally cutting deep here", she said, "but I'm glad we are. We owe it to each other to be completely open with our feelings".
"Yes, you're right".
"Okay", Selina composed herself and continued, "I need you to answer this honestly and you can't give me anything other than a yes or no. Will you do that?"
Bruce hesitated for a moment. He could only imagine what she was going to ask and seeing the resolve in her eyes was terrifying in its own right.
"I will Selina".
Upon hearing this, she moved from her spot on the sofa and straddled over Bruce's lap. Putting her hands on his shoulders, Selina made sure that they were face to face.
"Bruce, you told me the other night that you will love me always. Did you truly mean that? Or did you just say it out of guilt for what Hush did to me"?
There was no response.
"Did you mean it"?
Again, there was no response.
"Tell me, did you mean it"?
Tears started to fill Selina's eyes again and she put her hands to Bruce's face.
"If you didn't mean it, you have to tell me now"!
"Selina, I…"
"Bruce, you have to tell me…DID YOU MEAN IT"? Her words came out as heartfelt cries.
As the tears streamed down her face, Bruce summoned all his strength to break down his internal walls. He knew how he felt about her, but his internal machinations told him to put up a shield and end it once and for all. But seeing her like this, he couldn't do that to her, not now…
"YES…YES GODDAMN IT…I MEANT EVERY WORD I SAID TO YOU THAT NIGHT"!
"Then why do you keep pushing me away? Can't you see that I love you too Bruce? If we love each other, why are you preventing us from being together"?
Bruce took a moment to before answering.
"Because you make me happy".
Selina stopped dumbfounded. Her sorrow began to morph into anger.
"Jesus Christ! That's the stupidest answer you could've possibly given".
"I don't expect you to understand", Bruce said quietly.
"Don't…just don't", she said annoyedly, "I understand you better than anyone".
At this point, Selina got off both Bruce and the sofa and it was her turn to start pacing. Bruce also got up and walked over towards the windows overlooking Gotham. Without turning around, he started to talk again.
"You make me happy in a way I haven't been since I was a child. But happiness makes me weak. Don't you see Selina, YOU are my weakness. And it can be exploited. Hush exploited that when he cut out your heart and taunted me with your life".
Selina stopped and turned towards him.
"That's what love is Bruce", she replied, "it's everyone's weakness because it hurts so much when it gets taken advantage of".
Bruce finally got the courage to turn and face her. Her eyes were still moist, but the tears were gone from her face.
"I don't know what to say".
"It doesn't matter anymore", Selina said with her head dropped. "I can see where this is going…the same place it always does with us".
She went back to the sofa and sat down. Bending forwards, she held her head in her hands. She couldn't go through this again, it hurt too much.
"Do you have any idea how you make me feel Bruce? To be constantly rejected by you? No matter what I say or do? I even gave up being a thief and fought along side you…and it didn't change ANYTHING"!
Selina felt the rage coursing through her now. All those moments of pain that he caused her. Bringing her in close and then slamming the door. She felt like Sisyphus, pushing that rock to the top of the hill, only for it to roll back down again and again.
"Wait, Selina I'm not trying…"
"STOP! You're not going do this to me anymore", she screamed, "you tell me you love me, but you'll always push me away. You're toying with my emotions and you don't care how bad this makes me feel. I don't deserve this…it hurts so much because it's YOU doing it to me. FUCK YOU BRUCE"!
These last words created a silence that was deafening. Selina did not want to explode like this, but she could not hold back any longer. Bruce stood and reflected on what she had said. She was right, completely right.
"I'm sorry Selina", he finally said, "I'll go".
Selina did not say a word and merely shook her head.
You just don't get it Bruce and you never will. God, I hate you so much sometimes.
Bruce walked towards the door and prepared to leave. Selina looked over and decided to say one last thing.
"Do you know what really sucks about hearing you say that you love me, but you can't be with me? It's seeing you galivanting around with that Jezebel Jet broad".
"That's different", Bruce answered, "it's just keeping up appearances for Bruce Wayne. It's nothing compared to how I feel for you".
"Really? And yet, she gets to be with you…and I'm just your weakness…who gets nothing".
"That's not fair Selina, I…"
"You're right, it's not fair", she said despondently, "just go Bruce. And be careful…you can't trust many people…think about that before you and Jezebel get too cozy".
Knowing it was futile to continue this conversation, Bruce accepted that it was time to leave.
"I'm sorry Selina…I know I seem to keep saying it, but I truly am sorry. If you need anything, just let me know…I'm still here for you".
With that Bruce opened the door and left.
I know you are Bruce, you'll always be there FOR me, but you will never be there WITH me…
The End