Just a short little Twelve x Rose thing that demanded to be written. A bit angsty but that's this ship for you! (Also sorry I've been completely absent as of late. I'll try to start updating things soon. Classes are just taking up most of my time)
It had been over a thousand years since he last saw her. Well, at least a thousand years since he had spoken to her. There were always glimpses
(a dream half-remembered, a flash of blue leather around the corner, a long forgotten photo tucked away in a book, a bouquet of yellow roses.)
Like everyone else he had met over his long life, she was a presence in the back of his mind, a crumbling memory.
(at least that's what he tried to convince himself she was. no more or no less than other companions.)
He remembered her kind heart and drive to save everyone, to save him, even when it put her own life or heart in jeopardy.
He remembered that her smile had been like a ray of sunshine when his world had been dark.
He couldn't remember how her hand felt in his or exactly what her laugh sounded like.
He couldn't remember the exact shade of her eyes or how grumpy she was in the mornings before she had her tea.
He wished he could forget the feeling of being so in love that it seemed like it couldn't possibly end. Wished he could forget believing in her completely and believing her promises of forever for a moment.
He wished he could forget the look on her face as she fell towards the void, as she choked out those three words that he never managed to say back to her.
Humans always said that it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all but he was not at all sure that he agreed. Because even as some of the details of Rose Tyler and her time on the TARDIS with him faded away, swept into the ether by the passage of time, he could never completely forget her or the pain of her loss.
She was never going to be the same as the others he had traveled with.
(that's not to say that they weren't important to him. they were. just in a different way)
But as he ran a hand through his silver hair and took in this new, much older body, the question of what she would think of this him still floated to the front of his mind, bringing with it the ache of knowledge that he'd never know and a familiar stab of longing for the human girl he'd left behind long ago and would never see again.