Disclaimer: Do you THINK I own the X-Files? No? Congratulations, you win… um… nothing! But you were right, I don't.

[SCULLY is sitting in the office. MULDER bursts in with an angry… well… more crazy than angry… look on his face.]

SCULLY (concerned) : What' s wrong Mulder?

MULDER: Don't play innocent with me Scully! I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know (gasps for air) that you know that I know-

SCULLY (cutting him off) : Get to the point Mulder. If there is one.

MULDER: I know that you know what happened to my cheese!

SCULLY (offended): What would I want with your cheese? It's all moldy because you don't even have it in your refrigerator!

MULDER (gasps in horror): How do you know that? It's because you took it, isn't it? (cries)

SCULLY (getting really annoyed): Stop crying Mulder. I mean, jeez, what's so special about your disgusting moldy cheese?

MULDER: I dunno. You tell me. You're the one who STOLE IT! (sobs)

SCULLY (exasperated): Mulder, how did you come to the conclusion that *I*, of all people, stole your cheese?

MULDER (rolls eyes): Hel-lo! You're the only one with access to my apartment, and the door wasn't forced! DUH! (pauses) But, then again, my lock has been broken for a while now…

SCULLY: (glares)

MULDER: Sorry.

SCULLY: (sighs) Never mind, lets just forget about this whole thing, okay?

MULDER (frantically): But we have to find out who stole my cheese, Scully!

SCULLY: Mulder, let's just say it was Krycek.

MULDER: (gasps) How do you know? You're working with him, aren't you? (eyes water)

SCULLY (sarcastically): Actually, he called here and demanded a ransom of 5 million dollars for the safe return of your MOLDY CHEESE!!!

MULDER (whimpering): Really?

SCULLY: NO, you IDIOT!

MULDER: Don't call me an idiot Scully. It hurts my feelings.

SCULLY (near tears): I'm sorry Mulder! I'll never say the i-word again!

MULDER: Okay.

SCULLY: Mulder, what can I do to make it up to you?

MULDER: Well, there is one thing…

SCULLY: What?

MULDER: Will you help me rescue my cheese from Krycek?

SCULLY: Mulder, Krycek didn't take your cheese!

MULDER: How do you know?

SCULLY: Mulder, plea-

MULDER: Prove to me he didn't take my cheese and we won't go.

SCULLY (defeated): I can't…

MULDER: OFF WE GOOOOOOOOOOOO!

To Be Continued…