A/N: I find Mary Sues sickening and sat down here and started writing this. I really don't know if it's WORTH reading. More of a musing in my own mind and written just because I felt like writing. No real motivation here LMAO! Have fun reading it anyhoo. If you like it or if you don't feel free to leave me a review.
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Trista Sandra Sue landed with a thud onto the hard rocky ground. She stood up rubbed her behind and surveyed her surroundings. Just a moment ago she had been in her freshman english class when she dozed off and landed where she now stood awestruck.
Around her stood mighty trees and lush green vegetation. The vision of perfection lay before her. Where was she?
That question would be answered soon as a filthy creature came charging through the brush knocking her clean over. It hissed at her and cried "Get out of our way! We are in a hurry!" She grabbed the pathetic looking being as it struggled through her arms.
"Wait! Where the heck am I and who are you? You pretty damn cute!" said Trista batting her stunning sky blue eyes at him.
"AHHHHHHHHH we hatesss you!" snarled the creature. "Let go of usss! Gollum, Gollum!"
Still holding onto the screaming thing she commented, "I guess that your name is Gollum then?" She took her free hand and let down her gorgeous shining luxurious blonde hair and continued, "I think I shall keep you!"
To this Gollum screamed even more piteously and attracted the attention of a group of travelers. A man with an oversized grey hat and long white beard approached with eight other companions. "As I suspected, Gollum is following us. Put that poor thing down young lady."
Trista shook her golden tresses saying "No I don't believe I will. You see I think he's awefully adorable and I plan to keep him. Where am I anyway?"
"You are in the forests of Rivendell in a place called Middle earth," answered a large man with dark curly hair and an arrogant snip on his face.
"Let him go!" cried a small child sized figure. "This creature is bound to me."
"Ummm I hardly think so kid. Have you ever thought about shoes or at least shaving your feet?" mused Trista.
The little pint sized peanut of a halfling jumped up and down and yelled, "I am no kid! I am a hobbit of the Shire and my name is Frodo Baggins! I bear a ring of-"
"SHUT UP HALFWIT!" screamed the man with the white beard.
Gollum wailed "My Precioussssssssssssssssss!"
"Thanks Pops," said Trista. "Anyway this little Frodo couldn't take him from me if he wanted. I'll just call on my cousin Mary to come by and chase you all off."
Frodo ran up and grabbed Gollum's arm. Gollum by the way was still screaming like a banshee. A tug of war ensued each pulling furiously over the poor pathetic arms of Gollum. It only ended when Frodo actually pulled so hard he yanked an arm off.
"Well now he's broken! Look what you've done." Trista ponders for a moment then turns to the hobbit, "I think I will take you instead, although we will need to shave those feet. Maybe even paint your toe nails!" She lunged for Frodo, but was beaten by Gandalf who knocked her over the head with his staff.
Trista woke up in her english class to see her teacher standing over her with a ruler in his hand. Gandalf re-attached Gollum's arm then shooed him off and the Fellowship continued on their journey.
*****
Who says the fellowship isn't smart enough to get rid of these Mary-Sues and their cousins?? LMAO!
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Trista Sandra Sue landed with a thud onto the hard rocky ground. She stood up rubbed her behind and surveyed her surroundings. Just a moment ago she had been in her freshman english class when she dozed off and landed where she now stood awestruck.
Around her stood mighty trees and lush green vegetation. The vision of perfection lay before her. Where was she?
That question would be answered soon as a filthy creature came charging through the brush knocking her clean over. It hissed at her and cried "Get out of our way! We are in a hurry!" She grabbed the pathetic looking being as it struggled through her arms.
"Wait! Where the heck am I and who are you? You pretty damn cute!" said Trista batting her stunning sky blue eyes at him.
"AHHHHHHHHH we hatesss you!" snarled the creature. "Let go of usss! Gollum, Gollum!"
Still holding onto the screaming thing she commented, "I guess that your name is Gollum then?" She took her free hand and let down her gorgeous shining luxurious blonde hair and continued, "I think I shall keep you!"
To this Gollum screamed even more piteously and attracted the attention of a group of travelers. A man with an oversized grey hat and long white beard approached with eight other companions. "As I suspected, Gollum is following us. Put that poor thing down young lady."
Trista shook her golden tresses saying "No I don't believe I will. You see I think he's awefully adorable and I plan to keep him. Where am I anyway?"
"You are in the forests of Rivendell in a place called Middle earth," answered a large man with dark curly hair and an arrogant snip on his face.
"Let him go!" cried a small child sized figure. "This creature is bound to me."
"Ummm I hardly think so kid. Have you ever thought about shoes or at least shaving your feet?" mused Trista.
The little pint sized peanut of a halfling jumped up and down and yelled, "I am no kid! I am a hobbit of the Shire and my name is Frodo Baggins! I bear a ring of-"
"SHUT UP HALFWIT!" screamed the man with the white beard.
Gollum wailed "My Precioussssssssssssssssss!"
"Thanks Pops," said Trista. "Anyway this little Frodo couldn't take him from me if he wanted. I'll just call on my cousin Mary to come by and chase you all off."
Frodo ran up and grabbed Gollum's arm. Gollum by the way was still screaming like a banshee. A tug of war ensued each pulling furiously over the poor pathetic arms of Gollum. It only ended when Frodo actually pulled so hard he yanked an arm off.
"Well now he's broken! Look what you've done." Trista ponders for a moment then turns to the hobbit, "I think I will take you instead, although we will need to shave those feet. Maybe even paint your toe nails!" She lunged for Frodo, but was beaten by Gandalf who knocked her over the head with his staff.
Trista woke up in her english class to see her teacher standing over her with a ruler in his hand. Gandalf re-attached Gollum's arm then shooed him off and the Fellowship continued on their journey.
*****
Who says the fellowship isn't smart enough to get rid of these Mary-Sues and their cousins?? LMAO!