Too Weak to Stand

*Disclaimer - I don't own Stand By Me (or Corey Feldman :( darn ). Only Christine is mine. Please review!*

He had been drinking again. I could see the empty beer bottles. I silently counted 5, 6 bottles. I sighed inwardly. He was hunched over the desk, the desk lamp being the only dim light of the room. His shoulders heaved. Oh no. He'd gotten the letter today...he must not have gotten in. His dream was to be in the army. He had tried to get in before, and recently tried again.

Suddenly, he turned in his chair to face me. I didn't think he knew I was there. I saw the deep hurt in those brown eyes. He had taken off his glasses, so they were more prominent than they usually were.

"...Teddy..." I whispered. I blinked back the tears forming in my eyes.

"I was rejected...again," he said softly. Tears filled his eyes. I couldn't keep mine from spilling over, I hated to see him so sad.

"Again..." he repeated angrily. "I'm supposed to be a hero. Just like my father!" he yelled. He picked up a bottle and hurled it against the opposite wall. He was still crying hysterically. Sobs were shaking his thin body.

"Teddy...please...no," I whispered through my own tears. I knew how he could get, and I hated watching it. I winced at the memories of his hysterical rage. He wasn't always drunk. He didn't need to be.

"I'm worthless," he sobbed. "A no good pussy piece of shit!" he screamed throwing another bottle. I tried to speak, but it caught in my throat. He glanced at me, more aware of my presence.

"I can't live like this," he said. "I'm supposed to be serving my country, like my father..."

"Teddy...don't," I sobbed. He's beating himself up over this.

"Why are they doing this to me?" he yelled, grabbing my wrists. I cried out in pain.

"Stop...you're hurting me!" He threw me to the floor, his eyes wide. I got up and gently touched the side of his face, my fingers wet with his tears.

"Don't touch me!" he screamed, jerking away from my touch.

"I love you Teddy, I swear I do."

"Just shut up Christine!" he yelled.

"...I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up..." I quietly said the childish rhyme he taught me when we were in high school.

He glared at me. "I don't need this now!" he yelled throwing another bottle.

"What me?" I asked, still crying. "You don't need me?" He didn't say anything. "You want me to leave?" I asked quietly. "I'll go, just say the word and I'll go." He didn't say anything for awhile.

"Christine, I-"

"Goodbye Teddy," I said, turning to walk out. I didn't have any of my belongings, but I didn't care. I had to go. I couldn't be with him when he was like that. Maybe I had sensed for awhile that he didn't need me. Things are not like they were. I ran outside and it was raining. It was suiting that it was raining, because I felt like there was a tornado inside me. I loved him, I really did. Ever since I saw him, my first day of high school. Everyone told me to stay away from him, with his weird ear and high pitched laugh. But I saw the real Teddy Duchamp in those eyes, those beautiful brown eyes. But the crazy, fun-loving Teddy that I knew was gone. When he drifted from Gordie, Chris and Vern, he changed. I walked slowly to my car, my tears mixing with the rain.

"Christine!" I heard him yell. He ran to me, his light brown hair matted against his face from the pouring rain. "Chris, please...don't leave me," he said. He wiped back the damp black hair from my face, and kissed me. I felt his soft wet lips press against mine. Even in the cold a warmth shot through me. My mind wandered back to the first time he kissed me, when we were in ninth grade. We had been friends in the beginning of the year. I wanted to be more than friends, but I didn't think he did, so I never brought it up. Well, we decided to go to the school dance together as friends. I was so excited. When I showed up, Teddy was waiting for me. He took my arm, and I felt so special, like I was the most beautiful and luckiest girl ever. And during the last dance, he whispered, "I don't think I can be just friends with you..." in my ear.

"I think...I think that I'm in love with you," I whispered, pressing closer to him. He gladly took me in his arms.

"I think I love you too," he said. And we kissed. We had been together ever since. Even when I went to college, and Teddy stayed here. I had suspected that he had cheated on me, but I didn't care. I loved him too much to risk it all by asking.

I pressed closer to Teddy. I realized that I was still standing there kissing him. I pulled away gently.

"Teddy, I love you, you know that. I always have, and I always will." I felt the tears roll down my cheeks. "But I can't stay, you know that. I can't be with you when you're like this." I hugged Teddy one last time. "Goodbye." He looked at me with those puppy dog eyes. "Teddy, don't look at me like that," I pleaded. "I want to come back, give me a reason to come back. But you know I have to go now."

"I know," he whispered. I walked to my car and got in. I had to sit and compose myself before I could drive. Teddy walked sadly into the house. I wasn't sure where I'd go. I could stay at my friend Jill's house. I didn't really want any of my stuff. All it would do was remind me of Teddy and how much I still love him. I sighed and pulled my car keys out of my purse. Out tumbled a picture. Teddy was always putting crap in there. He thought it was funny. I glanced at it. It was the picture of Teddy and I at the dance where we had our first kiss. Tears welled up in my eyes. Am I doing the right thing? Teddy's my soul mate. He's the best friend I ever had. But sometimes, being with him is like banging my head up against a brick wall.

I remember we were supposed to get married. He asked me three years ago. It was after we had made love. I was lying next to him, my hand on his chest.

"Christine?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"I love you, you know that?"

I smiled. "I love you too, Teddy."

"Forever?" he asked.

"Forever," I confirmed.

"Will you marry me?"

"God yes!" I kissed him.

"I don't have a ring or anything..." he mumbled.

"I don't need anything but you," I told him.

"Let's wait though," he said, "until I get in the army." I smiled, I knew how much that meant to him.

"Of course," I said, nuzzling my face against his warm chest.

If only we had gotten married. Then maybe things would be different. Maybe he'd change. I could just imagine trying to tell Teddy Duchamp to change. That was like demanding pigs to fly.

Absent-mindedly, I flipped over the picture. There was writing on the back. Little, chicken scratch writing I recognized as Teddy's from school. It read: "Christine, I'll always love you". Tears streamed down my face. I can't do it. I don't care if I'm weak, I can't do it. I ran out of my car, photo in hand.

"Teddy?" I called bursting through the door.

"Christine?" he ran down the steps and scooped me up in a hug.

"I can't do it Teddy..." I sobbed into his arms, "We're soul mates, Teddy, I could never let you go."

He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. He just held me, and that's all that mattered.